Christmas Traditions

Christmas has the stereotypical traditions of opening presents Christmas morning. Spending time with the family, decorating and all that jolly TV Christmas bullshit. With my family our traditions were more along the lines of a bad Christmas comedy, but instead of a myriad of issues for the entirety of the break, there were usually 1 or 2 per winter. Or things weren't really issues, but different from the American Norm. for Christmas.

Christmas 2006: We decided to stay in Reston because our mother didn't want to make the long distance ride from VA to NY and back so we stayed down there and the family came to the house instead. This was also our last Christmas with mom.

Christmas 2005: We decide to open our presents late on Christmas Eve then drive up to New York mad early on the 25th to celebrate Christmas a second time with the NY relatives.

Christmas 2001: This is the Christmas before my Grandfather died. It was either over Christmas or Thanksgiving break he fell ill, so we kind of packed up late so we could drive up here to see him for the holiday. The traffic was hell, it took up something like 14 hours to get here. We stopped once because I had to use the bathroom and the winter iced over so much we couldn't just chip it off, we had to wait for the window to melt enough before we left the rest stop.

On other Christmas trips me and Dor would be packed into the back of the Buick with presents for the three of us, and for the family all around us. We'd get up here stiff legged from having no space to move for the entirety of the 4 hour drive.

This has all been just a really elaborate segue for Christmas 2007: The Trip.

So, we're moving along fine enough, but once we hit the Jersey Turnpike there was construction going on on one of the overpasses so we have to take a detour. This shit happened at about 5 this morning, I was pissed because the sucky road woke me up. Any who, we get off of 95 somewhere round the whereabouts of some road on Kings Street or something, I can't quite remember that one, I kind of went back to sleep on the first thirty minutes that we weren't where we wanted to be. When I woke up we were in the middle of possibly Trenton, NJ as we kept seeing signs for or about Trenton. When I realized we were in Jersey out of boredom I looked around for the Absolute Fencing Gear store. It was 5.30 and I hadn't quite fallen back to sleep yet. I'm not quite sure which road we were on, but we eventually pass a sign that says 'Princeton'. This amused me because of what Glenn said about not wanted to drive to Jersey. I laughed at Glenn in my head for a moment as we continued on not I-95. We eventually got to US1, I don't know what US1 is, but we were on that bitch for a long time. We eventually crossed a bridge that lead us to Newark and from there we got into the Bronx safely. I ended up going back to sleep until we stopped somewhere up here and the cold coming into the car woke me up.

So, Christmas 2007 hasn't even quite started and we've ha one interesting trip.

Maybe this type of story is what Glenn was talking about when he said I have the best stories about my brothers. I think his stories are more interesting than mine, but I also know all my stories back to front, and front to back. Well, let's see where break takes us this time. Last time I saw the Empire State Building, this time I got a mini-half-assed tour of Jersey. We'll just see.

~~

I actually just remembered the best/worst part of our Christmas Tradition. My Mom and Aunt Cheryl staying up all night trying to finish wrapping our gifts. We would always have to wait until they woke up after they stayed up until like...3, 4, 5 am. It was always funny, but annoying, but it happens damn near every year. For as long as I can remember they've been doing this shit, and my Aunt just said how she was going to have everything wrapped early today, and failed so she's going to be up half the night wrapping gifts for people.

~~

Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.

Conversations I'm Never Going To Have

So wordy...but that's what I call them.

So, these Contemplations and Observations I bring up about any/everything that comes to mind are all rooted in my trying to explain the methods of my madness to others and playing through the whole scenario in my head. It's not always done in words, sometimes it's 'written' in emotion and color as I imagine how an event would feel. Other times they're fully scripted, but then I run until complications as I rationalize not going through with whatever I'd just played out in my mind.

A common one could go as such in my head/ has gone like such in my head:
- Guy 1 and I are friends
- I like Guy 1.
- I think about telling Guy 1 I like him.
-I tell Guy 1 I like him.
- Guy 1 responds positively and we're a fluffy couple (as I've yet to even experience this, I won't imagine much further atm.)

Same situation could also end like this:
-Guy 1 and I are friends
- I like Guy 1.
- I think about telling Guy 1 I like him.
-I tell Guy 1 I like him.
-Guy 1 responds negatively
- My and Guy 1 are not friends anymore
- I spiral into depression over NOT having a FRIEND [he's not even anything and I'm spiraling into depression, yeah...]

Another scenario could go as follows:

- I decide to explain where my obsession with [insert fandom] comes from
- I explain my beliefs and state both sides of the argument for and against said fandom
-Person 2 is still confused so I think of another way to say the same thing
- Person 2 is still confused so I thin of a third analogy
- Person 2 gets it, but still doesn't understand why I like said fandom
-I give up and pretend nothing happened at all
[This actually happens in real life, not usually with fandoms, but other things/activities. I can't think of a specific example atm.

These 'conversations' that I have are based off of some recent interaction, or my bored longings for interaction. If I don't have music I tend to let my mind wander and get to these sorts of topics and explanations. Everything I say in response for the people I'm basing their reactions/responses/types of responses on real reactions and conversations I've had with people. I know how my friends would respond in certain situations which is why/how I'm able to go through these in relation to certain friends. They'd be nice about things, but I also know I can't predict everything.

I think these conversations started off as 'what if' games to entertain myself when I didn't have paper, or as something to do when I had to play alone and not with my brothers as a child. It's something I started as a way to retreat into myself and not have to interact with others.

Sadly now it's something I do to run away from interaction sometimes. I also go through these scenarios before I talk to people I don't know, and I usually end up with bad outcomes because I'm a bit of a pessimist sometimes.

You know, I really don't know where I was going with this one. I wasn't quite inspired as I was for the one on observations themselves, but I have been thinking over these conversations because I keep playing these mind games to cheer myself up, but sometimes they only make things worse. I think I need to talk to some one for real, even over aim or the phone just so it's not my and my imagination anymore.

I'm tired of living all alone on this godforsaken island, but there's no one around to help me off.

Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.

Observations

As both an artist and as a scientist my primary objective is to observe the world around me. That is the extent to which these two career paths are similar. As an artist my job is to record the world as I see it. As a scientist my job is to understand why the world is the way it is and possibly to change it for my own personal gain and interest.
The things that I have most enjoyed observing in the world around me is people. Simple and complex interaction between people and the things a person does that they don't think about. It's interesting to categorize or to find similarities between how two people who have never, and may never ever meet.
Diane, a smallish friend of mine has a few interesting similarities to Laurie, another smallish friend of mine. Physically the two of them are about 5'5"/4", slender, barely hitting 100lbs, they both need glasses. Personality and habit wise both of them are easy to get into 'laughing over incredibly dorky things' mode they had a similar laugh. Not in the sound but in the things they do when why laugh or are amused by something. If they think of something funny they have to stop the conversation and share their humor. I was amused when I realized that Diane and Laurie could damn near be the same person, albeit a few key differences in age and blah blah blah but that amused me.
Habits I notice. Whilst talking to Diane I noticed she has a habit of putting her pinky finger underneath her nose when resting her face in her hand. It's like she's giving herself the appearance of having a moustache a random and odd habit she never really notices doing until someone brings it up. I have a habit of stroking my chin as if I had a beard. I notice that I do that, or that I rest my chin in my hand as if I had a beard. Topher, down in Norfolk, has a habit of keeping his hands in motion. One of the simplest ways for him to do this is to continually flip something in his hand against the table. So like a cellphone or a remote it's flipping it, sliding his fingers down the body and flipping once more. This is a habit I also do so I can explain it.
Aside from noticing habits about people I notice physical traits about them. The things I detailed in another journal here, or maybe just as a note on facebook about the things I notice when I draw cartoons of people. Teeth, eyes, common hair styles, the things people wear or the types of things. Back in September CR often wore tee shirts, black sweat pants, and sandals. I often wore gauchos, tees, light jackets, hat. Glenn, most of the time I saw him he was wearing button ups, sometimes jackets, khakis/jeans, dress shoes. Alex apparently now often seems to wear his cap [i don't know the name of the style] Shirt, sport coat, jeans. Nora often wore/wears sweater, green pea coat, jeans and has her green shoulder bag with her.
This journal does have serious inspiration. I'd picked up January's Esquire to read because of an article called 'What I Learned' where they interviewed various celebrities over the course of their lifetimes. it's made up of bits and pieces of quotes and this is the one that sparked my thoughts on observation and observing people, places, things.

"You don't go through the front door of hotels anymore, you go through the garage. Or you go through the kitchen of a restaurant. Some people want to think that's cool, that's exciting. But it'll definitely make you a little weird if you're constantly being stared at. Part of the process that I've always enjoyed is being the observer. Yo know, just watching people and learning. At a certain point, the reversal took place. I was no loner the observer-I was being observed. That's obviously very dangerous because part of an actor's job is to observe" Johnny Depp.

This quote made me think about the fact that I look at the world and I take notes on the world in my head or sometimes actually on paper. It made me think of all the watching I do and the fact that I enjoy watching.
Back in September I told Glenn "I don't go out to eat for the food, but the food is goo, I go out to eat for the conversation." When we're out to eat, It's an excellent time to observe people in a large group. It's easy to focus on the physical, the tangible about a person. Facial expressions, their voice, vocal intonations. When I think about people in my mind they are a combination of the key points to their appearance, [a rough skin tone, they're hair/hat, their clothes and colors] and it's their voice. I have different 'tracks' for everyone, different things they said that I remember. Not always for what they said, but how they said it. I can remember how two different people say the same damn thing, but the differences in their inflections makes it stand out. I can think of both Nick G. and Anthony P. and hears the differences in how both of them say 'Oh yeah'. Nick's more of a slow drawl type of recollection as he then uses this as a segue into another thought or story. Anthony's quicker pondering, then his dismissal of the topic as he makes a joke or moves onto his next thought.
Hell, I can 'hear' how different people say my name, the intonation they use for different emotions or even the motion I tied into when they said something. There's Alex L.'s whiny use of my name as we're both carrying on with some stupid joke and he's whining about whatever we're both going to laugh at. My father's angry use of 'Jaz-MIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEN' when when he'd be mad at me from when I was younger over messing up something or annoying him in any way. Yenec's drawl from when he greets me and Lizabeth at Borjo [which I'm seriously missing at the moment, both Yenec and the coffeehouse]. Mig's use of Jazz from about twenty minutes ago, Glenn's use of Jazz from some time ago. The use of 'Jazz' to get my attention because of how rare it is, and the fact that you have to be allowed to call me most anything other than Jasmine that I won't scowl at. Allison's cheerful response on the phone and many others. These aren't things I think to file away, but they're things that I have.
I observe the world around me to such an extent that it is second nature to file thought about people's habits away in my mind. I also file away how others things and where they stand for conversation. Diane is good for cheering me up and for serious conversation. As are Glenn, CR and Alex. Diane is also great for dirty jokes, and bouncing artistic ideas off of when I need someone to talk dirty with. Lizabeth is good for random girl talk and venting. Glenn is good for venting and certain imaginative contemplations. Eliana is great for random talk. Nora is good for keeping me rooted into the ground and on this Earth, no matter how far out my mind wants to cast. CR is good for silly random fun conversation and for serious conversation, well, he kicks ass at listening when I try to think through things.
I don't know where I'm going or where I went anymore. The basic thing is I like to observe people and there are different aspects that I observe and retain.

Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.

Personalities and Horoscopes

Before I went to sleep this morning, I totally should have written this, but I wanted/needed slee as I had had no nap yesterday and my ear hurts from sleeping badly on the couch. It's not near as comfortable as the ones at Wesley House, but onto my train of thought.

Personalities are not based out of anything concrete, and they are a reflection of both nature and nurture. My brothers and I all share common aspects of our personalities such as it usually takes a bit for us to seriously get angry, we're all charismatic, and other things that ae a cross between personalty and habits and such.

My question or statement for today on personalities is this: how true are horoscopes and personalties? I don't mean day-to-day horoscopes because those are so vague they could be for anyone, but the personalities that are described in those sorts of book about a Scorpio, Leo or Cancer? Same with the Chinese zodiac, just how true is that to one's personality?

I've read that Scorpios are incredibly protective of their friends and the things they love or claim as theirs. They're fiercely loyal, when in love they mean it every time. When angered they are incredibly dark. Scorpios are charismatic and are excellent people persons. They're not quick to anger, but they will hold onto thoughts of revenge for a long time. They forget their digressions to others, but never forget digressions to themselves. Scorpios would rather be behind the scenes in things than be up front and on stage. Stubborn, and I sure and hell know I am for the last couple too. Really private...the things I seriously hold close I don't tell until either know you won't tell or until it's not that important to me.

I've noticed aspects of these traits and others in me and the things I do so I want to know, am I pairing my traits to these, or is it true? I am vengeful, I want and love to have the last laugh. Every time I've liked, loved someone they monopolize my thoughts. They're all I think about until I either convince myself that I don't really love them, or until I decide not to go through with a confession because I've got more important reasons to staying in contact with them. I'm the type of person who can talk to damn near anybody, and I can make other people feel comfortable around me. I am so friggin' protective of my friends that if people knew what went through my mind when I saw them with someone I didn't know or [for whatever reason] considered a rival they would have been terrified. When I'm seriously angry my mind is a wash of red and black. The violent things I think and imagine would scare a Satanist and the Pope would want to exorcise me.

So, from this statement it would seem that the things horoscopes and and the things the zodiacs are true, but to what extent and for how many people?

I've noticed that some of the people I love the most are Cancers, the crab. Scorpios and Cancers get along swimmingly [npi*] because they're both water signs. There is a great level of comfort for them to just plain be together, even in silence. These are also some of the people I seek out most often just to toss around ideas to relax.

My Leo buddies are important for cheering me up because they really do cheer me up when I'm down. And now I'm in no mood to look up anyone else, but it still holds true. The things that I go to certain people most often for are the things that those two signs have most in common. The same hold true for the other signs and why I would seek them out for a conversation or other.

So back to my original complaint [?] should people only take horoscopes with a grain of salt [I really dislike that phrase...i still doesn't quite make sense and I've looked it up] or should we trust/believe them? I understand that not everything is true, but can something as simple as when you were born have just that much of an affect on you and your personality as it seems sometimes? I've thought about this before, and it seems that things are true, but I still wonder

*no pun intended
Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.

Dreams

Last night [this morning?] was the first time in a long time that i've had a dream where Mom was there. I think that's because I keep talking about her, or thinking about her, I don't know.

The morning kind of kept repeating. I was driving to school {SLHS} and we'd just see each other and say whatever pleasantries we'd decided to say. One morning, it was winter not so I decided to use the police escort service to have them drive me to school. When the cop was on her way over the twit got into an accident. Mom told me about an accident on Soapstone Dr. and I knew it was the officer who was supposed to be driving me to school, so I got into the Buick [LeSabre] and drive myself like always.

Then I woke up because I was in an awkward sleeping position...

My next dream was also odd, but it did not have my mom in it. In this dream I was heading over to another HS in the county. My and some friends, I can't remember if they were college or HS friends though. You couldn't get inside to the party or whatever the hell was going on unless you
had a date, but it didn't matter if both of you were the same gender. After getting in there was a lot of ice cream. I enjoyed a fudgesicle. Then magically it was the next day and not night time anymore. This day there was some sort of division between the ice cream that the girls and boys were allowed to have. the boys had to have fudgesicles and the girl vanilla popsicles. It was all very weird. I ate whatever the fuck I felt like eating, but I also helped to distribute the other ice creams to the appropriate gender...except for that pumpkin headed fucker who wouldn't listen to me and take his damn ice cream just because it was an oreo ice cream.

I woke up again, rolled over, and had a third dream. The third dream was just weird...and I brought up my mom again, even though I bought the book for myself, and can't remember the book I'd bought anyway. It was on the odd side. And I was pissed in the dream, but I can't remember too much of it...

Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.

Two Sides of the Same Coin

Here is my reflection for the year. I don't give a fuck that there are 16 days left before the year is over, I'm in the right introspective mood, and I'm finally not bawling my friggin eyes out from being so depressed that i am out of control.

This year has been both the best and the fucking most god awful worst year of my life.

How this year has kicked ass. I graduated from high school this year. I got my driver's license, went to Otakon, and spent the majority of the summer hanging out with Alex and Nora. I left home and have finally been considered an adult in and of my own right. People older than me are not seeing me as 'Pat's Daughter' or 'Miguel and/or Dorien's Little Sister' or as 'Miguel's Daughter' [my father and brother are both named Miguel] I'm being seen as 'Jasmine, an intelligent young adult.' I live more or less under my own digression down at school. I'm in college! I met all my new college friends. I went out on a limb and tried something new, fencing.

What made this year the most suck of ever was my mother dying and not being able to see any of the above. What has also made this year full of suck was this years depression. It's been worse than before I think, but I've also had the means to better deal with it, for the most part.

~~

This past year I spent a lot of time with my mother before she died. I know the day I grew up in one sense of the word. I took control of my life and I hold the reigns in a decent grasp most of the time. But I seriously think that leaving the house and going out on my own without the safety net or the restraint of my family has been the best thing for me. I have been happier than ever before, so even with that hell of a valley in my life, I seriously think that 2007 has been my best year ever. I also happily know that it won't be the reigning king of years for too long because I know that there are bigger and better things in my distant and not so distant future.

Things for me to look forward to:
More Fencing
A Boyfriend
A Husband
Graduating From the University
Graduating from Graduate School
More Kick Ass Friends
Publishing 'Travelers'
Publishing 'Travelers' As A Graphic Novel
Becoming Renown For My Botanical Research
My Lemon Trees Bearing Fruit
Traveling With My Friends
Visiting My Friends Who Plan On Living In Other Countries
The Unknown, The Unplanned, The Unexpected

Free Of Everything, Bound By Nothing
Living The Life I Was Given.

Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.

What Makes A Home?

To follow up what has been mentioned to a minute degree in this journal I don't feel at home here in Reston anymore. I don't know if it's because my mother is gone, or what but my brothers don't really make me feel welcome in my own house. Technically 1/3 of this house is mine, but I damn near don't want it. I am aggravated here and the past two times I've been home I spent most of my time out driving elsewhere or trying to not be in the house at all. Things keep changing and I seem to have little to no say in it. I seem to not have any say in this house and I rarely talk to my brothers. It's maybe once every two weeks, which is pretty crappy. They don't instigate contact with me either, we've become very disconnected and I seem to be on an island of my own all alone up here. I think I know what I want to do, but I need some time to seriously think about it and to talk to my friends to try to get a little bit of advise before I tell my brothers my plan.

I think I just need to straight up move out of here. They don't like spending 6 hours in a car to get me, and we don't really spend that much time together and they don't really try to figure out that I've been up to or what I do down there. I'm not moving in with my father because that would be hell. He has no say over what I do because I am an independent, dependent on no one but myself, and those who I seek out for advise. I'm not being told what to do or when. I'm not getting a curfew or any of that bullshit, and especially not from him because he's never tried before and he can't tame me. He could tame Patricia Ruth [Hall] Pinales and he sure and fuck won't be able to tame Jasmine Y. Pinales.

My great escape plan is to get an apartment down in the Norfolk area. I can maybe just afford room & board and utilities. I'd need a job first, so I need to get that secure before I go out to rent something. I also need someone to live with and the car. This is not fair that I'm not allowed to have a fucking car! I want my damn Elantra, or you two bastard better fucking trade in that damned Buick and give me the 'new' car! I swear, it's not fair!

I'm too annoyed to sign off with my usual dismissal so I will end on this note:

I'm tired of being alone.

Hmm, Well, that opened up me to review my concept of 'alone'. I think it has most often just be a more emotion type of solitude that I am disagreeing wiht not a physical one. I think that is why phone conversations have been useful because they keep me from having to deal with my emotions alone by talking to someone. I've spoken to two people about the solution to my dilemma and they both think I should go through with this, but I want to get the opinion of a few other people, and I need to check out just what I'll be able to afford if I go through with that.

But to my concept of being alone. There are specific people with whom I feel the most comfortable talking to when I'm stressed or depressed.

Elizabeth because she's very calm and will accept just how far my emotions will rage and try to calm me back down to my usual calm demeanor. It takes a bit to get her seriously riled up which helps when my emotions take violent turns and are flung out of my periodic fragile grasp. She listens and tries, even against my pessimistic tendencies of depression to get me to try things...even if I don't always listen having someone else tell me something I've already thought of cements it into my mind so I know I'll have to act on it at some point of time.

Glenn because he listens and gives intelligent responses when I need that type of thing. It seems to take a fair bit of aggravation to ruffle his feathers which means I can throw the more extreme thoughts and he'll respond in a way that'll make me think and forcing me to slow down and think brings me back to where I need to be. He listens to be vent and even when he doesn't have a good response he'll just listen and try to cheer me up.

C.R. because he listens and once more very sympathetically tries to calm me back down and succeeds a it =D His calm demeanor and silly responses throw me off track which distracts me form what angers me. The pure simplicity of his responses throw me for a loop and that makes me think through what upset me so I can find someway to fix it. He doesn't mind any thought I throw which is useful because I have a tendency to rant and ramble so being able just to talk and have those unpredictable changes to where my thoughts flow is quite useful.

Alex because he just listens and calmly responds. He responds to my more extravagant ponders in ways that amuse me. He is able to calmly look at the cards I lay before him and organize the important ones and help me to get rid of the ones that need to be gotten rid of. He's trust worthy...except for answering his phone kind of...and calling back. He fails at that, but other than that, I trust him with damn near any thought in my head. Hell, he even listened to me explain one of my more ..interesting story ideas...one that I want to seriously go back to at some point

There you have it, the people who work best at helping me get back to where I need to be to not lose my mind in the extremes of anything. Well, not so much 'anything' just the things they each hear. Everyone is important to me, but this people more so, in a way...Just trust me when I say that without them I wouldn't be the person I am because I've needed many hands to get out that the vicious valleys that make up my depression. Those slopes are easy to not notice as I slide down them, but they're a bitch to climb back up without a few helping hands. These hands are just the ones that helped the most.

I'm noticing a pattern with the people I trust the most. They're calm and they are all excellent at bringing me back to where I need to be psychologically.

Well, that was two journals all in one post...I feel better and the usual conclusion remains I guess. More to come later.

Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.

make them hear you

I can't think of a better title, but this works sine this is nothign more than a few rambling thoughts.

So, last night with everyone was fun. Raving Rabids was more fun than I'd thought it would be. Hanging out with everyone held my depression at bay. I didn't realize that fact until I was going to bed at about 2 this morning and I had no real desire to sleep. I'd thought I was done, but I'm just keeping it all at bay only just barely. I need this shit to end. I'm just so fuck tired of it all. Not living, I've no real qualms with life, but I do have issues with this depression, and at the moment I don't want to be alone. Heh, my usual complaint, 'I don't want to be alone' or 'I don't trust myself to be alone'

Heh, 'Make Them Hear You' by the Black Eyed Peas, I can't make anyone hear me. Damn this depression to hell. I'm just glad I've got enough sense to try to fight it. I just keep loosing the damn fight. Hmm, I think that since today is my last day down here I deserve one last drink from Borjo....maybe a red-eye. I mean, i haven't had one of those in about a month. The problem isn't today though, it's going to be tomorrow when I'm crashing like a two year old behind the wheel on 95. But that's beside the point... I'll decide when I get there. I think maybe I should write. Problem is I don't know who to write about. I'd also rather not create any more characters, the 70, 80 some I have at the moment are out there enough to last me a life time...

I think it's time for a round of phone tag as I try to find someone or something to hold my attention for the next two hours. Later days.

Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.

Gender Barriers...

...and the periodic lack there of.

So, last night at TFC I was amused when I witnessed, and was a part of a group of guys [granted, there are mostly guys here] acting like a gaggle of girls whilst enviously talking about how Mr. Kim was instructing Jason and Nick in sabre. And there were the stories about how he was ranked 27th in the world for epee, I think Eddie said, and it costs something like $200 for a month of lessons from him.

I'm standing there, mostly listening since I didn't have much I needed to add aside from sounds of awe and such, and I was amused by the fact that there are times where the whole gender barrier is non-existent.

So, I've totally lost my train of thought for this observation, and I doubt I'll ever really finish it

Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.

'About Me'

It is impossible to fit all that makes a person into 1000 words or less. There is so much about a person that change change from one little non-interaction, such as seeing someone they have an interest in one day, or their not seeing that person. I know my mind is out there any time I see those guys who can catch my eye long enough to make me try to fine a way to talk to them. Anyting can change a person, even simple non-interactions like that.

As I think about some of the things that make up 'me' this was going to be all super epic over on facebook, but i stopped before it got too far along so I'm writing it for here.

'I just am. The details change depending on the mood, how morose I can be to how hyper crazy, to how romantic. I've never been much of a girlie-girl though, that's never changed.'

I am a lover of many things. Food, socializing, entertainment, conversation, deep thinker movies and conversation. There is too much to me to put into words to describe for those people out there on the Internet to be able to handle reading. It would be an epic tale about the highlights of my life and personality that's a hefty tale. Not because of embellishments, but trying to fit in all the things that I don't tell people, but are displayed during conversation and interaction.

Part of this is I don't casually touch people until I know and trust them. Until I've figured out what's allowed, just how much distance and in what ways do I do things. When I meet people, there is a trial period that can last from ten minutes to a few days or weeks as I figure out just how far I can go with them so I know how I can act and which parts of my personality to exhibit. There are some times when I need to be at a certain comfort level with people before I'll playfully mess around with them. Touching them, their hair, face, just plain contact in some cases. It's not always as deep as it seems, but there are some people who I don't know how they'd respond to casual contact as simple as a hug. I never realized how much I like hugging people or having someone to get a hug from because before I always had my mom and I never thought about it. Now I have people to get hugs from or who I don't mind hugging. Things like this are like how I confide in people, I never give it much pre-thought but I just know these sorts of things.

But back to describing me. I am a romantic. Even thought I over think my own relationships and have often concluded that I probably will over think it if I ever have someone, I am a romantic. I do like a bit of fluff in my movies every once in a while. I do want love, I want someone to love and to make it known that they care. I want comfortable platonic love too. I don't mean anything wild like 'friends with benefits' but a shoulder I can lean on. Someone I can go to damn near whenever and know I can tell them anything.

I am a dirty minded bastard. It's how I was raised. I don't have bad morals, just a greater acceptance for the things that society normally perceives as wrong. I mean, I was somewhere round about 6th grade when I saw 'Real Sex' on HBO, I had no issue with it. It actually made me laugh. I find porn amusing because the situations that lead up to the sex are usually incredibly goofy. I've said this to people before, but seriously, the generic type of introduction that I've see to a few different porns was 'A stay at home wife/mother gets a delivery, then decides to fuck the deliver man' but then there was the series from Showtime where the story lines were almost always 'This couple is having relationship issues and decided to get away for a weekend to reignite the flame of their passion' I mean, crap like this is just so ridiculous that it's like 'how is this cock-and-bull story still being written. I can totally see where a friend of mine is coming from when they say that they can't really watch porn because there is so little character development [ie none] that they can't really focus and get into the story. As for me being dirty minded, I don't care about hearing about people going at it, the numbers or the genders involved because at the end of the day it makes me laugh. I don't quite know why I find it so amusing, but I do.

What makes me. I think about the way I think about other people and when I go to describe people I pick out the most distinctive physical features then the next thing I think about is how I can 'see' their personality in the things they do. When I describe people, the physical is first, but the...

[contemplation to be finished at a future time]

-continued-
...but then I go on to describe personality attributes about people because of how I relate personalities to people they become tangible. It's kind of amusing, but it also makes describing other people somewhat interesting...

On my cleanliness...or often lack there of, I like to think I live in organized chaos. I think because of my creativity and artistic habits, and the fact that I don't usually don't think in conventional patterns, then I am better suited to have things not quite in normal order. I think that I try to live externally they way I live internally, sometimes.

I think this is a topic I'll need to come back to, I'm not quite inspired to dewll on myself too much more at the moment. I'll finish this train of thought, or continue down this track or a similar one some time in the future. Adios

Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.

Thanksgiving Break Review

[I don't think I posted this before, but I did write it over the break...then I never felt like actually concluding it, but que sera sera.]

Bronx, New York

Thanksgiving 2007

The date is November 21^st, and I’ve been up for a few hours shy of 24 hours. I woke up at 7 yesterday, Tuesday morning at 7 for a math test, took the friggin thing, then headed over to Wesley House and chilled there for the rest of the morning and for lunch. I kind of dozed, but I’d decided to attempt napping downstairs so every time the door opened my half assed rest was disturbed.

The food there wasn’t the best, but ehh, it worked. I hadn’t eaten anything else and it was free. You can’t knock free that often. Hmm, Glenn showed up and I told him where the CD was and we chatted for a bit. I’m supposed to hold off on the creation of the Relay for Life team until after the officer’s meeting which I assume, will be Sunday or so. I dunno.

Before leaving Wesley Lizabeth called and vented. She was all sorts of angry, even threatening me. I wasn’t afraid and I let her words just roll off me and told her to relax and calm down. Her roommate has just been being a bitch about everything and Lizabeth is getting tired of it. I left Wesley and went to Whitehurst to get my things packed to go. On the way I ran into Emily and she told me CR was feeling under the weather. It’s probably compounded fatigue because he barely sleeps and has been super busy with play practice for the past month. He should be fine after the holiday. Well, I hope he is.

Anthony and Billy picked my up from Whitehurst and we rolled out. The drive went by quick enough until we got to NoVA because we ran into traffic up there. Woohoo! [/sarcasm] I dozed for a bit, maybe about an hour before we stopped in Fredericksburg. We stopped once because Billy needed to use the bathroom, but stretching our legs was nice. We dropped him off out in Manassas, then Anthony dropped me off at my place in Reston before he went on about his merry way home.

I picked up the car keys and grabbed a few things while I was out. I grabbed “Shawshank Redemption”, another book of short stories, and some goodies from Trader Joe’s. Picked up dinner and then returned to the house and chilled. I got my clothes washed and took care of some things before chatting once more with CR and Lizabeth.

This time when I spoke with CR he told he how he was, but the problem was both our cell phones were in sucky reception so we could barely hear one another. Lizabeth called and apologized. I told her it was alright, she was mad and needed to vent. Her roommate was giving her hell and she’s just so passive that she hasn’t taken up anything with the bitch.

I stayed up all night and we left Reston at about 2 this morning. I was awake for about an hour before trying to sleep. I slept between about 3.30 and 5.30 I think when we stopped at a rest stop. Migs and Dor were tired so they napped kind of. I was actually wide awake and after going to the bathroom I stretched out and did a few lunges which helped. My wrist has been popping and I think I can feel my muscle forming and etting stronger. This reminded me I need to work my left arm too. I did a few off side lunges like Bal and Ed suggested and general stretching and some advancing. I didn’t do any blade work because…ehh, I didn’t feel like getting my sword out.

We rolled out and I was wide awake for the most part. I fell asleep once we were in New York and woke up when we got to Gramma’s place. Some crazy, half deaf old lady confused the shit out of me and Dorien. Gramma figured she was trying to tell us to reorient the car. We thought she was telling us to move the car for the street sweeper. In any event, we got here about 7.30 or so and I tried to find a working wireless network and they’re all fucked. They won’t work for me, so I’m writing this here and I’ll post it in blogger when I get home. I’ll just make one long post of it.

So yeah, I’ve been up for a broken 25 hours, maybe abut 20 some hours, those last 5 hours were very broken up so I’ll probably be mean and want sleep tonight.

Thursday Nov 22, 07

We did jack shit all day before sitting down to a full dinner of turkey, candied yams, potato salad, macaroni and cheese, stuffing, gravy, rice, rice and peas, potato stuffing, ahh, what else...more food?

I went out for a walk, in the big scheme of things, it was a short walk, but it did get me out of the house.

After dinner we watched Live Free or Die Hard. Good movie, and straight up goofy. Yesterday was very relaxed. It was also the smallest thankgiving table this family has ever witnessed. I mean, for one, we all ate at the same time. There were ten of us, but seating for 8. I can remember back in the day having to have 2 rounds of service because there were just that many people trying to sit down for food. Things also weren’t as nice because Mom wasn’t there. It wasn’t something I dwelled on, but I did notice how things were different, a different overall feeling to everything.

I spent some time calling around and chatting with people. I spoke with Lizabeth, Glenn and Allison on Thanksgiving. I sent out a few text messages and left a few messages with people. Nothing special, aside form making Sunday night dinner plans. Invites and such will have to be issued on Sunday so…

Friday, Nov 23, 2007

Today we went downtown, into the city. We went to Manhattan Mall, but some funny shit happened before we got there.

We hopped the 2 train from Allerton all the way down to 34^th and 7^th. We were across the street from the Macy’s. So, whilst waiting for our cousins Nikki and Eboni to get to us Dorien got shitted on [for the 5^th time ever] by a pigeon. He was pissed, but it did miss his new coat and only landed on his sweatshirt. It made me laugh because this has happened a whole bunch for times. I swear, this boy should be the luckiest bastard in the world for all the times the birds have shat on him.

So, after getting him a new sweatshirt from Conway the boys reminded me of a funny story from when I was a kid. So, way back when, when I was about 4 or 5 my father had taken us into a large, department store sized Conway my brother were supposed to be watching me because that’s what the rules were for when we went out with mom. I’ve always had a penchant for wandering away, or for looking at or focusing on something of interest. So, instead of holding my hand like they were supposed to do, dories kind of didn’t quite pay attention to me and I wandered away to look at come Barney hair things then when I went back to where Dorien had been he wasn’t there and I tried walking around the store looking for my Dad, or Titi or Abuela or my brothers so I wandered outside the store thinking they had left and I guess I started crying and a police officer found me. Apparently, Miguel thought to go outside to find me and he found me with the cop. My Abuela and Titi were sooo mad at Dad, my mom was pissed at Dad and my Abuela and Titi were just plain grateful that I was safe.

So back to today, we walk past the Macy’s and there is the line to PETA picketers. I swear, it was the funniest shit ever. They had pictures of skinned animals saying they need their fur more than we do and other stupid shit. I don’t wear fur to begin with, by my goofy cousin was tripping because her jacket had fake-fur around the hood, but it was obviously fake.

After that we got to Manhattan Mall after waling down Broadway for a bit. Migs bought a couple of hats from Lids and then we ate a late lunch at the food court. After kicking it in the mall for a bit longer we looked around Brookstone for a bit before hitting the street again. Dorien picked up a name poster thing for Lindsey and I was finally able to buy another box cap. This one’s all green, now, all I need is the blue camouflage one and I’ll be set. We walked out to Lane Bryant, which was coincidentally across the street from the Empire State Building. We took some dorky photos [to be facebooked] before going out separate ways.

When we were getting on the express 2 back to Allerton the friggin’ door damn near broke my wrist. The car was crowded as all fucking hell and Miguel wasn’t quite far enough in for me to get in. So I had my hand inside the car trying to stop the door from closing on it then I had to shove my way in to keep from being left Downtown. The train car was crowded for like..78% of the trip [yeah, arbitrary numbers]. Friggin hell! We stopped by the bank to get some monies for Yonkers. I’ve got a fair bit to gamble away. Money situation to be update either late tonight or tomorrow.

~~~~
Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.

English Mid-Term Story

So, a few months back in either mid/late October or early November we wrote our English mid-term papers. I was amused by it when I wrote it and I've wanted to write it up for a while, but I remembered that we're supposed to turn them in later. This was supposed to be funny and somewhat satirical so this will be on the silly side. Minor edits for sensibility...or because I have no friggin' clue what I wrote.

~~~~

Choosing a mate in a very simple process nowadays with all the technology and socitial advancements that mave been made since the dawn of time. Insteas of shows of brute force and physical prowess nowadays people want the finer things in life: comfort, money, electronics, faster cars and [demonstrations] of technological prowess.

When searching for a mate, a club is a an easy way to find someone just [as] desperate as you are. They spend hours getting dressed to the nines, putting every hair into its place and they practice their mating calls to make sure they can attract the best mate. an example of one such mating call popular with the scientific crowd is 'If I were an enzyme, I'd want to be DNA [helicase] so I could unzip your genes' Calls of this variety are not always successful and can cause the caller to be violently rejected. As easy as it is to find a mate at a club, it is ill advised to stay with one of these sorts for too long because for as easy as it was to attract said mate, it is just as easy to lose said mate.

Another viable venue for finding a made is one from your own pack. Someone you know well who knows everyting about you so the whole 'getting to know you, getting to knoooow all about yooouuu' phase is already done. Awkward silences are a thing of the past in this sort of relationship because anything that may have halted a conversation has already been done and said and taken care of. The problem with choosing a mate from a group of friends is [that] if you break it off before or after jumping the broom stick there will be the awkward division of friends or worse yet running into your ex with a new mate.

Having an established common interest is a way to choose a successful mate. You could both be dog people; you with your terrier-collie mis and them with their pure breed all-American golden retriever. Your dogs hit it off one day one at first sniff. Strange, considering your terrier-collie id quick to bite, you start up a quick [rapport] with the trerievers owner and you two hit it off. Things are fine at first, you're a liberal, they're a conservative but you let bygones-be-bygones and move in together and all is fin until you find their retriever with the neighbor's Great Dane from next door, your terrier is all alone. [The] next strike is them with their secretary in your great-grandmothers marriage bed.

Th issues with choosing a mate today [is there is] so much more to consider, to take into account. Maybe a good old blind date is in order. You meet at a coffee shop, neutral territory, set up by your friends for the afternoon. While waiting for that special (unknown) someone to appear with a single red rose you see them appear with all the finesse and sexual prowess of a tiger. They slunk over disappearing in the crowd every second or two before shining once more as they clear their dully adorned surroundings. They have a bouquet instead of a single flower and then they greet your. Everything that made them so perfect [breaks] as you hear them speak with no grasp of the language they're speaking and teeth that look like they chewed through a long and that they brushed with pond scum.

Wow, who knew choosing a mate could be so hard! Maybe the days of fights for the win and possession were best. You're walking home with a bouquet of roses and a thundercloud over your head. You think all is lost when you finally see someone [fall] and you give them a hand and notice how adorable they are. Everything clicks so perfectly from seeing them simply trip over their own two shoes while trying to walk. You both laugh and the thundercloud seems to be blown away by the ray of sunshine emanating from their laugh.

Behind every cloud is a shining sun waiting to be seen.
~~~~

Hahaha, this still makes me laugh. Here ye be =D

~~~~
Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.

What I Want

I want some one to think I'm special. Someone who values me and loves me. I want someone to love, and someone to love me back, just as much if not more. I don't want to be alone. I'm such a freakin' romantic, but I want this person to know me. I want it to be some one who understands and accepts me as I am. I want someone I can focus massive amounts of attention on and not be called a stalker, someone I can monopolize and spend time with. Someone who keeps me calm and will just listen to my insane ramblings, sometimes encouraging them, other times hindering them. I want someone. I want to be loved and know I'm being loved as more than a friend. I want someone I can just chill with, lay with be absolutely comfortable with. I want someone I can confide in at any/all hours, someone to take care of me. I want someone to take care of, someone who will rant and vent to me so I can comfort them. I want someone to touch and hold and to not have to make up some weird excuse to do so.

I just plain want.

The week in a few paragraphs

Today was peaceful.

But to begin, let's start with last week. I went out to dinner 4 times, ridiculous, Sunday dinner, Wednesday dinner at Waffle House, Friday night, dinner #2 at IHOP then over to Doumar's for ice cream, then a lunner at La Herradura on Saturdya with Wesley House people and Lizabeth.

Today was also the first day in over a week that I haven't seen Lizabeth, but it's alright, i got ot hang out with C.R., very relaxing hanging with CR.

Hmm, last week i felt my winter depression return, again. It was annoying, after practice on Tuesday I went out to the cliff by the river and dug a hole with my bare hands because i had to think through somethings. I came to the conclusion that i did want a boyfriend, and I figured out why. The problem is there's no guy I really like so I've got no one to direct these feelings, so I think I take comfort around anybody, or any guy. Hell, because I had to do something on Monday I ended up spending the evening at Glenn and Zorro's with Glenn watching 'The Last King of Scotland' It was interesting watching a movie with Glenn, he's silly.

Wednesday we went out to Virginia Wesleyan to Tidewater FC, that was nice. Rhonda was friggin awesome and Dave Catoe was not half as scary then as he was on the 8th. I reviewed the parries, 6,4,7,8 and kind of learned some new things.

Thuesday I spent lots of time with Lizabeth and blah blah blah, classes and such. Practice as usual then nothing special.

Last week I had a fixation on a friend of mine and thankfully I've moved past that. I spent most of Friday at Wesley house and Saturday there also. Saw the Birds and was most amused. There were a lot of masturbation jokes, but they made me laugh. Friday, I took Zorro, Nick D and Lizabeth to the greenhouse on the top of MGB. Zorro and nick were all sorts of excited which made me more excited and amused to be up there. We also wandered around and I think I have a new perception of Nick, Zorro and Sean [Sean from other interaction]

Nothing special today. Hung out downstairs with CR which was quite pleasant because we haven't really seen each other in a while. It also calmed me in a way. My guy friends, especially do that. Any of them, well, not quite any, but a few of them for sure. I'm not sure why I'm so comfortable around them, but I just am. I really do prefer to stay with guys. I think having had two brothers made me that much more comfortable with being around guys.

Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.

Sunday Dinner, 11/11/07

I'm so spoiled, demanding to go out to dinner every Sunday with various friends. Last week was just Anthony, Lizabeth and me, this week is was that trio of us, Allison and J, Nick and Glenn. We hit up the Mexican place in the Village which was fun. Glenn only bought dessert because he happened to eat before coming back to the Norfolk area. We honored Pete Conomikes, he was a fencing coach at The College of W&M. He died in a car accident yesterday on the way up to a grand tournament. I never met him, but that doesn't mean I won't tip my hat in his honor.

Back to tonight, it was not a night of perversion, it was a night of 'god, we were stupid kids' my stories were never quite as awesome as anyone elses', but there were some pretty awesome stories from Nick, Glenn and J. These dinners are always good, good food, good company, fun stories. This entire weekend has been a good weekend for me. From my birthday through to tonight, I'm happy I've got such good memories and that I've made so many awesome friends. They've all made this first semester really fucking kick ass.

Yesterday was pretty chill. I slept most the day then spent damn near the whole afternoon over at Wesley House with Sean and Lizabeth. Nick wandered about and we ordered a pizza for food-sustenance. After leaving it was freezing and I walked back to Whitehurst where I ran into CR. We hung out and [insanely] walked up to the 7-11 on the other side of Hampton Bvld. We hung out together for the next two or so hours chatting about things and me asking him random questions that tend to float around me head. I asked them 'cause I was curious about his resonse more than anything else. Like, I've wondered about this one, why does society [very generalized] automatically ship together two people of the opposite gender if they're hanging out in public together. I mean, not every guy/girl friendship is going to lead to more than that, so why the senseless shipping? But that's for another journal.

Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.

BIRTHDAY!

Man, yesterday fucking kicked ass. I'll give a recount and assessment after i sleep....and boy do I need sleep.

~~~~
So, after that exciting 'I'm way to fucking tired to be writing' intro after sleeping 7 some hours, here's our real journal and intro =D

I slept yesterday until about 9:30 at which time I chilled and thanked people for birthday wishes on facebook. While i was walking to meet with Lizabeth for lunch I made up this song parody: 'It's my birthday and I can lunge if I want to. Retreat if I want to, ripost if I want to. You'd parry two if someone lunged at you too' What a great show of dork, but it made me laugh and is serious proof as to where my mind goes when it decided to pretend it's going to move out of the gutter. And i shit you now, i think of this song, every year, at some point on my birthday. Ever since I heard it in Problem Child I've forgotten which one but I seriously do think of that song.

So, we enjoy our lunches..for the most part then we bounce over to Borjo and I talk Rob into letting me get a discount coffee woot! I'll have to try that again next year :) From there we went over to Wesley House and spent the next two hours relaxing, watching TV with Sean and Nick wandered about kinda. At one point whilst Lizabeth, Sean, Nick and I were chilling, Sean tried to be sneaky and throw a bottle of Advil at Lizabeth, but he totally didn't look and he happened ot knock over a pretty much full cup of soda onto the carpet. All four of us were like '...that wasn't empty...hahahahaha' The rest of the time we spent there was spent throwing things at Sean or just plain hitting him with my scarf or hitting Lizabeth.

About 2.00 Lizabeth and I left Wesley and went over to Whitehurst so I could get my fencing gear because was going to fence Glenn. Glenn had something more badass in mind and it was awesome!!! I had no clue how elaborate ie was going to be but that made it that much more fun. I stretch and stuff inside the Whitehurst lobby 'cause it's cold outside, then I get a text from Allison which draws me and Lizabeth outside. I'm excited, crazy excited by now. Outside Glenn is dressed to fence, Allison is there to video the day, and I get to see CR, at which time I thank him for my gifts [gifts to be listed at the end].

I fence Glenn behind Whitehurst in a small grove of trees on the side of the building by the loading bay. Thankfully there were no hecklers on this side of the building. Downside, leave and soft ground are slippery... Glenn had us pose and I lunged awesomely killing him bwa ha ha! Then there was another time when he ran away when I attacked, then of course, I had to chase him, stabbing whilst we ran. So freakin' silly, so freakin' fun.

The four of us rode over to Wesley and from there we met Vadym at Kaufman where I got to fence epee! Epee was so deliciously sweet to fence. Here when I really lunged i end up slipping in the on the grass, I said the ground was soft...I was fine though. We moved from grass to concrete and continue our bout. While we're fencing Nick showed up and watches, he's itching to fight, Tristan appears and watches for a bit, and we get a small audience. The bike cop from before and Glenn got some girl's information, I assume she's intrigued and will be joining us at practice in the spring. I get a few really nice hits on Vadym here so I'm really looking forward to seeing the video of these bouts once Glenn edits it.

From Kaufman we walk up to the Village and go to the top of one of the parking garages where I get to fence sabre! My first sabre right is against Zorro T.T But after I got the hang of it, it was a lot easier and a lot of fun X3 Dan and Amanda were up there too, Dan had been fencing with Zorro a bit, probably for the hell of it... Nick kept count, I was seriously creamed by Zorro, I took thirty some hits before I landed 19 on him. I got a few good mask shots and some nice slices. I'm going to have to seriously have to look into fighting sabre me thinks. Glenn thinks that the backdrop of Norfolk from up here is going to look awesome on the video, I can seriously only look forward to it.

From here we walked back to Welsey, hopped into Glenn's car and go to meet Jason for my final bout. Sabre against spiked mace flail-thing. Seriously, we fence sabre on the boardwalk. I take a lot of hit, but i so slice up J's elbow a fair few times XD I also damn near ran him off of the boardwalk about 5 times. I don't know how well he may or may not have been a judge of his retreats, but I was conscious of how far back he was going. I would have felt like hell if I'd run him on the boardwalk. This was fun because I still barely knew what I was doing while I fenced, but I kind of tried to copy things I'd seen from watching him fence with CR and Nick. It took a bit of getting accustomed to for this bout, but I did alright.

There were many happy birthday wishes then Glenn drove me and Lizabeth back over to Wesley house where we chilled, chatted and I went through facebook again thanking people for their birthday wishes. Chatted with Sean some more, then Glenn joined us in the computer room, and Amanda after a time. This was also the second wind of the 'throwing crap at people' war and 'attacking Dan for the hell of it' and because he's ticklish. I'd originally just poked him, but he decided to retaliate and it escalated...not then, about an hour later...

Wandered back towards the TV and watched the end of 'Fun with Dick and Jane' ate some jawsome quesadillas that Dan made then watched 'Robin Hood: Men in Tights'. I entertained the idea of how funny it would be to have the fencers sing the men in tights song...while wearing tights. Zorro agreed to do it if other people were there too. During the movie I started/continued to harass Dan. Wen kind of ended up wrestling, it was actually really fun. My brothers and I never really fought, but I've done more play fighting since I've been down here...When ended when both of us were tired, and I'd broken a nail. I didn't care about the nail, it needed to be cut anyway.The movie ended and I called Glenn. We dropped Lizabeth off at Rogers and i got to ehe Naro justin time for Lust, Caution.

Lust, Caution was an interesting movie about a group of students who plotted to assassinate a pro WWII political leader. I like the soundtrack the movie has, the use of Western music as there is more of a Western presence in Hong Kong and Shanghai. After the movie let out, I got a ride back to campus from Glenn, then I had to write up a review for the movie. I did a write up about FreeRice.com for the News section then I finally crashed at about 3 this morning.

Yesterday was a good day.

Gifts:
Gramma, Aunt Cheryl, Dad: money
CR: Borjo gift card and choco covered espresso beans.
Lizabeth: tba
Glenn: Video of me fencing, foil bout
Vadym: epee bout
Zorro, Jason: Sabre bouts
Allison: laughs and filming of bouts
Other: birthday wishes


Adios for now
:salute bow:
Jasmine P.

restless

grrr! i swear right now i'm like, super crazy mad antsy or energetic! i either want to stick fight or just not have to deal with math homework. hell, right now i could even just go to bed [except i'd be up before the sun rose] i think i'mma have to work on eating my one meal of the day earlier than 6...some time about 4 might be better than waiting until 6. I also want some tea or coffee. I need something warm for my throat. And this is annoying as hell! the pink-eye transferred from my left eye to my right eye and every time i blow my nose i damn near pop my ears. i'm tired of this crud!

i don't know what i want, i just don't really want ot be alone atm. should i wander towards rogers and harass lizabeth or should i hope to run into cr and him be able to stickfight...man, i'm so annoying and restless right now i'm not even going to correct spelling or grammar. this is how i wrote this bitch! few to no caps frigga-dammit!

Adios for now
:salute bow:
Jasmine P.

All Hallow's Eve

So, last night was fun as all fucking hell! I spent just about all afternoon hanging out with Lizabeth before the party then we hopped a ride from Allison over to Glenn's for the party. Before leaving Whitehurst though, we grabbed a whole mess of extra candy from the cafeteria. Awesome, yes! It's for CR so whenever I see him today or something he gets a big Styrofoam box of chocolate.

To the beginning of the evening. After dinner Lizabeth and I took the time to get our costumes together. I still have stitch marks all over my arms, but i also haven't taken a shower yet...That might help, but Prismacolor markers take forever to wash off. I was Hawk from www.applegeeks.com if he were a zombie =D Lizabeth was a dirty hobo with injuries from various fights and stuff. It was fun putting these together. Glenn's costume was by far the most intricate, he was dressed as Iron Man. Hell, his costume was 60% sheet metal and he had a tap light on his chest. Nick was a catholic priest; Jason a gypsy, Allison a fairy, CR the Great Pumpkin, AJ was the Flash, Sean N was a fetal baby monster, Vadym...I never knew what he was...Dan F was a pirate, Zorro was Zorro, Travis was V, Alan was also Zorro, I think, Dan D was Superman and his girlfriend, Amanda, was Superwoman.

So, we get to Glenn's at 8 and Stephanie makes me a drink with vodka, orange juice, parrot bay and ginger ale. I drink three of these concoctions and i'm tipsy by 9.30. I know I never got drunk, I was just tipsy. Nobody believed me though, and after a while i just became passive and listened to their orders...somewhat.

Between the first two drinks I played a few games of Wii tennis before chatting with people while partially watching Return of the Killer Tomatoes. I drank a third drink sometime then, then I drank a bunch of water and ate Oreos and chocolates. I was rocking by now, it was fun floating around Glenn's place. Hmm, I harassed Travis for hugs and then chilled on the balcony with AJ just chatting and getting some fresh air until I was cold. I continued sitting and drinking cup after cup of water for a while whilst chatting and watching the movie.

Not too long after this, we went outside to break Glenn's Dora pinata. AJ slit her throat with a sabre and I think Jason finally took her apart when a flunge and the sabre. Candy was consumed and I floated up the stairs. I think I'd had a fourth drink by now and was reeling once more. It was fun, and I still know I wasn't quite drunk. I'd taken 1500mg of Tylenol right before the party, so I think the alcohol and the pain killers affected me as such, but :shrug: Inside the apartment I drank more water and spoke about whatever I was talking about. I do remember I said 'fuck' a lot, but I always say fuck a lot. Seriously.

Hmm, CR appeared sometime and then we all walked down to Red Dog and I drank coffee and ate some pizza that Nick paid for. 4.25 for coffee and some pizza isn't that bad though. They said I was being loud, I don't think/know if i was, but the funny things is I'm not normally that loud. Anywho, CR, J, Allison, Lizabeth and I walked back to Glenn's place and I was ordered to stay on the couch and rest. I never fell asleep, and I was always aware enough of my surroundings. I was a little sleepy though, but now is when I became passive. I laid on the couch for a while, but Vadym and Dan F stole my seat when I got up to pee. I then laid down in front of the TV for a while before taking the couch once more.

We hung out there just relaxing for a while but Lizabeth was dead on her feet and I was sober enough that I wasn't reeling anymore. I asked Zorro to drive us back because CR was busy playing video games and Glenn was over there too and I was in no mood to raise me voice to get him to drive us back. He dropped the two of us off and I returned to my room pleasantly buzzed again. From what, I've no clue since the last things I'd had to drink were water and coffee. I slept fine, but was slightly worried when I woke up after 5, I'd thought that maybe I was going to vomit, but I'm happy I didn't. I slept until 10 then finally woke up for the day, and decided to skip my 11 o'clock math class. I'm mad hungry now though.

Adios for now
:salute bow:
Jasmine P.

Fargle nash

So, today was fairly uneventful until this evening. New Page was canceled because the professor is sick and the rest of my classes went as normal. Lizabeth called me and was mad at me, so I decided to eat dinner with her at 1201 and make her tell me what was up. Apparently after telling her about my dreams where I tell myself how i feel about some one she had one about a guy this morning. It was pretty funny, but she's blaming me. I told her it was a product of her own mind, but she still blamed me in the end.

We went over to Wesley House for a while because we had nothing else to do and she left early to study and be a good and proper student. I went to fencing where, after drills and that boring stuff, we played 'king of the mountain' and Glenn's team [my team] royally lost to Jason's team.

After practice we went out for dinner. Man, dinner was cracktacular. I rode over with Glenn and met Travis early and now I know where he lives, not that I remember how to get there anymore... Travis was kind of quiet but pretty fun to chat with. I kind of re-met Laurie whom I'd spoken with the evening of the first midnight Rocky show. She was funny as hell, and our waitress! I loved having her! She started flirting with Glenn and he got so red, I could barely laugh anymore. Glenn became red over various topics of the conversation and things that happened, so tonight's dinner was a good one. I swear, I don't go for the food, i go for the conversation....and the coffee. I'm looking forward to tonight. Drinking, watching others whilst influenced by drinks and whatever else is going to happen.

Heehee, on the way to IHOP Glenn called 'Yuengling' 'Ying-yang' funniest mis pronounced word O
ve heard in a while.


Adios for now
:salute bow:
Jasmine P.

Monday Night Convos

So, apparently every Monday Elizabeth and I will spend the majority of our evenings in Borjo drinking coffee, chocolate or cider and then chat for a few hours. 3-4 apparently. These evening long conversations are about various things that neither of us really want to think about or talk about to anyone else because we both know we won't tell anyone else about said conversations. We're thinking about adding Allison to the mix...we'll have to invite her but make sure that Jay doesn't show up. It's a girl thing pretty much. But interesting convo all the way.

So, I walked back to Whitehurst about 11 and I happened upon CR and Nick chatting having finished a night of sabre. It was fun listening to Nick talk. The stories are always just that random and silly. If I've ever meet anyone who'll have better exes, that's damn near the impossible. Well, it's a few different things, but they make for funny, yet awkward at times, conversation. I look forward to next Monday, God only knows what'll happen.

Adios for now
:salute bow:
Jasmine P.

Yesterday =D

So, I seem to like treating this like a regular journal...this won't last long...

~~~~

Yesterday Topher helped Blaise pick out some new clothes so she knows things she can wear to look nicer. Better than the traditional bastard college student garb, at least. I tagged along, but didn't help all that much. I wandered around the mall for a bit in between watching Elizabeth be flustered as Topher made her try on things and Topher making her buy things. After staying in HM for roughly an hour we three wandered over to B&N where I purchased some Calvin and Hobbes anthologies and the two League of Extraordinary Gentlemen comic books. More wandered, perusal of Hot Topic, Dillards, Nordstrom's, other. Topher was trying to find pants and/or shoes for Blasie to wear but alas, he found no shows he liked that didn't have a ridiculous price sticker.

We left the mall and back at Roger's Topher insisted that Blaise try on what she'd purchased and he somewhat showed her how to do her make up. I left not too long after this because Jay was playing with his new sabre gear and I wanted to watch. I hung out and chatted with Nick and Jay for about 2 hours before finally getting into Whitehurst and eating dinner. Promptly after dinner Blaise insisted that I come and help her with her with her New PAGE quiz, so I do, then I kinda got helped. Sadly I only got a 72 and I was in no mood to try to take that damned thing again.

It's not 10:00 and we've got nothing to do. Blaise wants to get ice cream, but there's no way we could get to Coldstone where she wants to go, before they close and then get back to campus. I suggest we wander over to the Theatre and see what's up. We get there while they're striking the set and get shanghaied into helping. We help and spend the next few hours hanging out with theatre people. I compliment the Rocky actors on their performances. Rob, the narrator, says I should try out for a play, and that I should hang out at the treatre more. I think because of the paper I'm going to be all up in the theatre enough as is, and I'm now making many friends whom I will probably rarely talk to in the future. Dan, the guy who played as Dr. Frank really is a tall mofo. He appreciated my compliment from how he dealt with the rude bastards from Friday's midnight show.

CR, Blaise and I finally wander away from the theatre at about 12:30/1:00am and return to Whitehurst. CR and I stick-fight and in the midst of battle one of the PVC pipes that Nick made for CR broke. It was the one I was using for defense. It was well enough because we were only trying to get in the last couple of hits before going to bed. My right thumb in swollen again ^^; and cut this time. CR jabbed at me, towards me, with the PVC pipe at one time and it kinda cut my thumb. There wasn't much blood, but I sill have a small curved scar there. I wonder if my brothers will notice. Who knows. I need to stop stick fighting, but if I do my right had won't get bruised every week as it seems and I won't have a hand of hard, sinewy flesh...Bruises and a hand that can take any hit or a lily soft female hand...decisions decisions.

So, super awesome bad ass god news. The day for the foil test in Thursday, November 8th. That means that I will pass the night before my birthday and I'll be able to use the épée I'm going to buy. After talking with Jay, I think I'll get two electrics, then just use the club's at practice so I have my own good swords and also so I don't fuck up my good swords.

November so far looks like it's going to be a good month.

Well, tata for now. I've got math homework to do, but first, I think food is in order. Early morning fencing and not eating for 6 hours prior tends to make you hungry when you get up.

Adios for now
:salute bow:
Jasmine P.

24 Hour Scavenger Hunt

So, this morning after some stick-fighting with CR and Elizabeth as our one-person-audience + random people walking by,whilst chatting about things that would be cool to do, I remembered my idea for a scavenger hunt. I mean epic. A 24 hour scavenger hunt would be most epic. Rules and tasks TBA, but the list should be at least 50-100 items/events, maybe more. A point system could be used, or just who completes the most of the list. Details on points kinda from that epi of Viva La Bam when they did a 6 hr hunt. It would be open to clubs, with representatives from each to win something awesome for their club. Either money, or a fair amount of prizes.

I think this could be big if done at the right time with a proper list. Things you could only find in Norfolk or on campus. They've have to be challenging, but fun...

Representatives would be officers, and photo proof would be necessary for some of the tasks. This could seriously be big if executed properly. I'm going to goto OSAL on Monday to suggest this. If this gets off the ground it could be something for ODU to remember.


Rules:
Basic scavenger hunt rules.

No fraternizing amongst the teams.
No using in club/team for people based items/events [ie, interracial couple]

But, if this doesn't work, I guess a smaller, fencing-club-only scavenger hunt could be fun. not near as epic, but we could probable still get a decent prize for the three teams [weapon of choice, of course]

A Night At The Theatre

The haunted theatre in the Stable's was really fun. Blaise and I went and I was on a caffeine high so everything and it's blood-brother was pretty funny. Tonight was also the first night in about a week that I saw C.R. It was nice to chat. I understand a week isn't that long, but there are certain people I rely on for conversation, so I've ended up chatting about crock with Blaise more so than before because there was no C.R. to talk to. We've had some good conversations, so in the end I guess things have been alright anyway.

So, I've only just gotten back from seeing the midnight of "The Rocky Horror Show" for the second time at the University Theatre. It was really enjoyable. There was audience participation which made the show even more enjoyable. What was not fun were the obnoxious bastards that were making the wrong calls and who kept calling to a friend of theirs, Katie [apparently] I was sad that Allison couldn't go tonight, but it's understandable. She has to get up at 6, and I've got to get up at 9. I need to water the plants in MGB before heading out to McArthur with Blaise and Topher.

I'm mad tired now, I think I'm going to bed about now. 5 1/2 hours, that's what I've been getting all week. Tomorrow night...tonight rather, I think I'm going to have to go to bed a bit early. Hopefully tomorrow I'll be able to make a regular, decent post. A story, or at least not a boring post about the nothings that have been going on for the past day.

Adios for now.
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P

New.

So, this is my new blog for new peoples to peruse if they so desire. I don't plan on having much here, maybe some ODU related art, but this is my journal for life down in Norfolk.

In the end, I really don't care if anyone actually reads this, especially since I'll also be posting stories up here periodically. Traditional journal posts and my contemplations on most anything [like the whole thinking about Christmas deal] but that is for another journal. I'm just trying to quickly break this one in before I transcribe my English mid-term and a thing I did for bio because both of them greatly amused me. I will also try to properly capitalize words here and use better grammar than I'm sure my other journals have. This will be interesting...maybe.

Adios for now.
:salute and bow:
-Jasmine