Early Morning Musings

I've been spending some time over the past few days reading things off the site 'Stand for Christmas' http://www.standforchristmas.com/ and mostly been laughing at these ultra conservative Christians. In part it's from ignorance and non acceptance of other holidays that happen to take place in the winter. If you look at the ratings list for Best Buy people were all pissy and up in arms because the site and circular promoted the Muslim holiday, of Eid al-Adha, which as my meager research on wikipedia told me is a day about prayer and giving from one's flock to the poor. Seriously, that and Best But says nothing specific about Christmas.

I see these people up in arms angry that Christmas isn't getting the 'respect' they think it deserves. I say one comment for Old Navy that said, and I quote "I logged in to this sight to leave a positive feedback for Old Navy because in my local store I noticed the Merry Christmas tees and also gift cards with Merry Christmas on them---a big step up from past years, but I was unaware of the add including Christmas with Kwanza/soltice (the ice skating one is fine with me;goofy, but fine).” So sad that they took one step forward and two giant leaps back." How is being aware of a not-holiday, Kwanzaa in my opinion, and solstice taking two steps back. These people seems to forget that there are many religions in the world that have some sort of festivity in the winter. I know there are plenty of people who believe that Christianity, or factions of, are the 'only religion' it just seems implausible that everyone who decided to write on that site feels that way.

I think saying 'holiday' is fine because there are so many celebrations, religiously based or not. Using the non-reputable source that is Wikipedia, once more, let's see just the sheer number of holidays, festivals, remembrances, or celebrations there are LISTED for the 31 days that make up December. 38 different events around the world, that's not counting the smaller events that take place during the month. It's not just Christmas, there's also Chanukkah which I think is the second largest religious celebration in the month. On December 25th there are also these events:

# Re) birth of Sol Invictus. The winter solstice feast in the Roman Empire from 274 to 391

# Quaid-e-Azam's Day – Pakistan

# Constitution Day – Republic of China now based in Taiwan

# The feast day of Anastasia of Sirmium

# Yule

# Malkh-Festival. Sun festival in pre-Islamic pagan religion of Nakh people. Chechenya and Ingushetia

True, not all of them are celebrated anymore and are known more out of historic necessity, but they're still there. I'm sure there are plenty more. I don't get the fuss that people use 'holiday' over 'Christmas' when so much else goes on. Any why get so hard up for one day? It's about family? So is Thanksgiving. It's about giving? If you truly want to give to other people, give when you don't feel obligated. These people are making it about the material, if they want to really make it about a part of the true aspect of the day, Jesus and giving, they would go out into their communities and help those who are less fortunate instead of opening hundreds or thousands and thousands of dollars worth of things that they'll forget the next day.

With my tirade I'm not saying I don't like getting things, but I remember and like the gifts that I made for people a lot more than any of the stuff I've bought. Back in 2006 I made ornaments for my family and friends. I love those. In 2004 or 2005 I drew my brother a dragon, framed it and he still has it. I'm proud of those gifts. Last year I thought carefully about what people would appreciate, but I don't appreciate the gifts as much, I have to think hard to remember what I gave them. But I remember what I made, that had love, time and compassion not just money. Scupley costs money, and a lot of time, but those gifts were awesome.

The other part of my musings is on the concept of being politically correct. Thinking that it's more pc to be called 'African-American' is wrong for -me- because I'm not African. I'm 1/2 Dominican and 1/2 American. I only have American citizenship, and I don't know how many generations far back are off a boat from any part of Africa. I call myself 'black' or even just 'American' because that's what I am. I don't care so much about that aspect of American history. I respect it for what happened and all that shit, but I have more important things to be looking for in my future. That's what my status from the other day was about, someone on deviantart was talking about how with some Scandanavian comics she draws and posts people comment about where their family's from. I don't really care about my ancestors. It's not to be disrespectful, but that's not -me- so much. I don't want to go to Africa and see what it was like for them there, I don't really want to go to the Dominican Republic, I don't speak the language. I more often just think of myself as American because I don't speak Spanish. I was raised by my mother's side of the family and more often than not think about things they do than things my dad's side of the family does. I don't not love them, I just don't know them. It's different.

About being politically correct for the holidays, I don't see it about being disrespectful, it's about respect for more people. People seem to have a problem with respect. What if I worked retail and wished ' Happy Chanukkah' or even forwent December and started with 'Happy New Year'? That's non-denominational, just different countries or religions, follow different calendars, its offensive to calendars?

I go for politically correct terms because I don't like to be insulted. Once I know what will and won't mess with a person, I'll use it. I say 'I'm fat' not 'overweight' because it's fat, my body has an excess of it. If you have an excess of weight, it's not always fat, it could be water or muscle. I have an excess of fat, and I don't always have a problem with it. Buying clothing is when I have a problem with it. I say all sorts of ridiculous things; I know I say things than can be misconstrued as being disrespectful, but it's not out of disrespect. Sometimes it's due out of ignorance, which is different than going out and being rude. I think a large part about being politically correct is who you're interacting with. Some people mind and others don't. Listen to how I talk, I say ridiculous things EVERY DAY, sometimes on purpose, sometimes it just is what it is.

I know I’m politically correct when I speak. I do it for me because it feels right. I use more or less the same language in front of someone or behind their back, profanity aside. If I don’t know I’ll ask, and I’ll apologize if I think I said something wrong. The other day I was at a hookah bar when it was closing. I was curious what language some of the other patrons were using, so I asked. I had assumed it was Arabic, it was when I asked,. I had the chance to ask a question, so I did. I will. I have asked Muslim women one my few occasions, questions about their head wraps. I was curious about them, I know very little about those practices. I had an Indian friend in high school and I think she sometimes had the red dot on her forehead. I think I asked her what it was about, but have since forgotten. I’m curious and try not to be rude, I’ll admit I don’t know because I think it lets whomever I’m speaking to know that I’m honestly curious.

You know what, I’m not sure where exactly I wanted to go with my thoughts on being politically correct aside from questioning them. I don’t understand why people seem to have an issue about not offending other people. I want respect and to get it I have to give it equally. I understand terms change and I’m not always in the venue to learn when or why they changed. Za told me she learned that the new PC term for ‘Native Americans’ is ‘First Americans’. I really don’t see what’s wrong with ‘Native American’ but there’s a new term. I know I use ‘Indian’ more often, and I don’t know if I’ll ever use or need to use ‘First American’ but it’s a new term. Now I want to know why they changed it, what was wrong with calling them ‘Native’? Where would ‘aborigine’ fit in? It’s time I get back to the work I put off to write this, but I kept thinking about it. Now to work for a bit, sleep, then work some more. Joy. Good day, everyone!

Jasmine P.

He Plays For the Other Team Pt 2

This is just one giant and epic story as is, but at the same time, I don't need it all up there taking my entire page over, so here are the last two chapters as written 5 years ago. Chapters 1 and 2 can be found here. There, you can read my whole overly long and kind of unnecessary preamble to the story. a PWP where it got a plot and never any real porn...Yeah, if I'd ever gotten to the sex it totally would have been validated, I mean, ...well, read it and maybe one of these days I'll explain it to you. :)

-----------

He Plays for the Other Team
DAISUKE ICHIGO

:Summary: The trials and tribulation of two college students as hey find out more about their true selves. Ronnie, the younger girlie-boy and Brian the older tan skinned mystery, together they learn a lot about themselves. (I suck as summaries, please don't hate?)


Moving In


While Brian slept in his arms, Ronnie thought back over the beginning of the year, trying to remember if anything like this had happened before. Absent mindedly petting Brian's hair, Ronnie shifted through the memories. Remembering non, he carefully climbed out of the bed and went into the common room to see if anybody else was there.

Looking at the couch, Ronnie saw Liam and Pailu playing some fighting game while Harold, Kirk's roommate, cheered Pailu on. Going over to the couch, Ronnie flopped down to watch the game, absentmindedly paying attention after saying good morning to the other boys. Letting his worried mind wander, hoping that would relieve it of the stress it had felt, he remembered the first day he had walked into Duzel Hall.



Ronnie stood in the elevator carrying one suit case and pushing a box with some manuscripts on the ground. On the fourth floor, he kicked the box off and followed it to cell blue. Pressing his thumb against the ID pad next to the door, Brian waited while it scanned the print, before admitting him to the cell. The door opened revealing a large living room, with light blue walls. There was a couch and television on the left , and a small kitchen area to their right. There were four doors spread out around walls of the room, each with a number painted on the blue, in white paiLookLooking at his assignment card, Ronnie headed to the door labeled with a three.

The room Ronnie entered had two twin beds on opposite sides of the room, the head boards facing opposite walls. There were two desks, one by the window, the other by the door, and a large double closet that had a divider in the middle to separate the roommates clothes. Theor wor was wooden planked, and it had appeared that no one had claimed either side of the room yet, making Ronnie the first person there. Ronnie decided that he wanted the bed on the left side and dropped his stuff on that band and the desk by the window. Heading back down stairs via elevator, Ronnie made tow more trips in which he brought up his computer, a lap top, a boom box for his mp3s, more clothes for the cool northern us fall, and some posters that one of his friends had made of his characters.

Heading back down stairs one more time, Ronnie brought up one last bag of clothes and his television, even though there was one in the common room, he wanted one in his room so he could watch what he wanted without bothering to many people. On his way inside, he saw a spiky brown haired boy getting on the elevator with another brown haired boy, this one's hair was longer, and e was taller then Ronnie, but not my much.

Seeing the doors to the elevator about to close, he called out, "Hey, wait, please hold the elevator." The shorter brown haired boy pushed the 'door open' button for him, as he finished crossing the room. In the elevator Ronnie put his television on the floor, but kept his duffel bag shouldered. As the doors closed he looked both boys over saying. "Thank you for holding the door."

"No problem, which floor are you on?e tae taller boy asked as the elevator began to move.

"Four, I'm in blue, I've already been up a few times," Ronnie said directing his reply toward the taller boy, his eyes more focused on the shorter one with the spiky hair, "but I didn't wan to wait for the other elevator, these things are so fucking slow." Committing both faces to memory, Ronnie then introduced himself to them, "I'm Ronald Kir III, but most people call me Ronnie.

"I'm Brian and this is Damien, the RA." The spiky haired oy said extending his had for the other boy to shake. "I'm also in cell blue."

"Nice to meet you, Ronnieamieamien said also shaking hands in greeting.

The elevator stopped on the fourth floor, and Ronnie led Damien and Brian to blue, vaguely hoping that Brian would be in his room. He continued on two dorm three while Damien hung back by the door with Brian as they figured out which room to take his stuff.

"Room three," Ronnie heard Brian say as he left the room to volunteer to help Brian with the rest of his stuff.

"Cool, were roommates," Ronnie said as he opened the door to their room.

Damien put Brian's computer on the desk nearest to the door, seeing that Ronnie had claimed the other one already, "See ya guys, I gotta go."

"Bye, tanks for helping," Brian said dropping CDs on the floor by the desk. "Hey, Ronnie, would you mind helping me bring the rest of my stuff up here?"

"Sure, no problem," he replied hiding his glee about sharing his room with such a cutie. "It's not going to take me long to unpack, so okay." He said as if weighing his options. "So, how old are you? When's your birthday?" he asked once they were on the elevator, trying to break the uncomfortable silence.

"May, 30th, I'm 20 right now," Brian replied as they rode back down the elevator. "You?"

"November 17th, I'm turning 20," Ronnie replied as they reached the ground floor and went to where Brian had left his car.

At the car the boys picked up more bags before they headed back up to their dorms. It took them three more trips to get the rest of Brian's stuff. On their last trip up stairs they passed another boy lugging three heavy bags to their dorm building.

"Hey, you," Ronnie called slinging shifting his box of what looked to be Brian's handwritten stories to resettle it more balanced, "do you need some help?"

"Me?" the short black haired boy asked turning to who who wasstiostioning him. "Nah, I'm fine, but I might need some getting in." he said blushing sheepishly.

"That's alright," Brian said balancing his box in one hand to press the ID pad. "Which r arr are you on?" the three walked into the dormitory.

"I'm on two, cell green, dorm 1," he replied heaving as he leaned against the elevator wall. "I'm Pailu Frank, most people call me Pai."

"Hi Pai, this is Brian and I'm Ronnie," he said indicating to each of them. "We're roommates on four, cell blue, dorm 3."

"I'll have to come up sometime," Pailu said as the elevator stopped on his floor. "Good luck this year," he waved as he dragged his stuff off the elevator, down a green hallway.

As the doors closed Ronnie sighed thinking about how hard his junior year was going to be. "So, I meant to ask this sooner, what's your major? It looks to be writing, but I could be wrong."

"I'm a screen and stage writer." Brian said tapping the box Ronnie had set at his feet. "In that box are some of my older plays." Brian smiled, "I used to be big, back in the day in that foreign place called high school. My major is in English, play-write to be exact, but I'm hoping to get my name in lights, somewhere. I plan on traveling if I don't do any good in the States." The elevator stopped on four, and they walked to blue. "What's you major?"

"I'm majoring in writing, novels not plays, and my minor is in acting." He replied as they walked into their common room only to find three other boys on the couch. "Yo," Ronnie waved.

"Hey, I'm Liam, Liam Elda." A tall lanky looking fellow said straightening from leaning over the back of the couch. Liam wore his light brown hair cut short, red on its tips as it spiked away in the back. "I'm in yellow, dorm 4, I was helping Mickey here, he's in dorm 1."

"Yo, I'm Michael Dower, like Liam said, I'm in 1." Michael was sitting on the couch, a box in his lap with controllers to a PS2 and game jewel cases. "Which rooms are you in?"

"Son of a bitch," a fairly high for guy's voice erupted from behind the television. A small, mousy frame emerged, his brown hair grayed with dust, two electronic cords in his hands. Looking at Ronnie and Brian he started blushing in embarrassment. "Sorry about the out burst, I'm Kirk, Kirk Magyar. Dorm 4, my roommate isn't here yet, but it's early, only 2," extending his hand, both Brian and Ronnie accepted introducing themselves.

Ditching Brian's stuff in their dorm, the boys went back out to the common room to see if they could help Kirk, Michael and Liam. Ronnie flopped into the comfortable sagging couch on Michaels right side, Brian on his left. "Hey, Mousy, Kirk, do you need any help?" Ronnie called correcting himself before Kirk could pull himself from the tangle of cords to glare at him.

Kirk huffed with exasperation, "I'm fine, but you'd think an electronic major could put together a simple video game system, it's like damn." Dropping the wires, Kirk backed up from his place behind the television, "Ronnie, Brian, can either of you put together a PS2?"

"I had one," Brian said getting backup and going behind the TV. "Somebody, turn on the TV and change the TV input," he ordered while he fiddled with the cords Kirk had dropped in disgust. Ronnie cut on the machine and switched the video receiver to input. The screen automatically changed to a dark picture with a floating memory card and game CD. "There, that was simple enough."

"Fuck you," Kirk said growling as he stalked off toward his room.

"Don't mind him, he's just stressed because of moving in and the fact that he had to drive over half the States just to get to Ishtar University," Michael explained as Kirks door closed with a mechanical whirl.

"So, anyone else hungry enough to eat the pissy one?" Ronnie said, relieving the room of the tension that Kirk's explosion and moving in had caused.

"I'm game," Liam said as he headed toward the door out of blue, "just let me get my 'Pissy Bitch Killing' sword."

The three boys laughed as they followed Liam to his dorm in yellow on the other side of their floor. The yellow dorm looked just like the blue one, except this one was covered in yellow paint. The common room also had a television, there was an X-Box plugged in underneath it. On the yellow doors the numbers were painted on in black, white wouldn't have been seen. Liam went to his room while the other three just stood by the door and waited

"It's like being a banana," Ronnie said gray eyes wide open in shock as he stopped in his tracks.

"Scary, I'm out," Brian said backing up before Liam started back out from his room.

"What's wrong with the three of you?" Liam asked, giving his new friends an odd look as he crossed the common room to leave.

"Your dorm is scary as a bitch," Michael said as he tried to calm his face.

"Pussy," Liam said under his breath as he pulled the three stunned boys out of his common dorm and back toward the elevators. "Let's just get some food, there's pizza place two blocks over that I went to a few time last year."

The other three boys fell out of their stupors as the thought of food passed through their minds, reminding them why they'd left the safety of their cell and saw the fright of Liam's. On the elevator, all three boys form blue let out breaths so hard, Liam's hair moved with the breeze.

"Damn you guys are pussies," he said running his hands through his hair, putting it back in place.

"Shut up, Liam," Ronnie said smoothing his hair as the door opened on the second floor, Pailu came entered the elevator, totting two other boys, also from green. They were also going out to lunch, so they decided to go in a big group and then return to Duzel Hall to eat.

"Hey, Sara, Kelly, Lynn," Ronnie waved as a car full of girls slowed o drive with them. "What's up?"

"Sup Ron?" a blonde girl asked, she was in the shot gun seat. "Nothing, just out for food."

"So are we, wanna come back to Duzel with us?" Liam asked leaning against the car as it stopped.

"You guys having a party or something like that?" a brunette asked rolling down her window.

"More the 'something like that' Lynn," Ronnie said laughing, "so, you girls coming?"

"Yeah, we'll be there," Lynn replied as the car started rolling forward. "We're gonna pick up a few more friends first."

"Cool, one of us'll be waiting for you, in about ten minutes, iight," Ronnie said waving as they drove off.

"So, Mr. Smooth, who were they?" Brian asked elbowing Ronnie as the boys made it to the pizza place.

"Some friends, I was in a small play outside of school with Sara, the blonde one." He replied shrugging it off as the others made joke about his answer. "Lynn and Kelly were at the cast party, they were a part of the crew, that's all"

"Yeah, right the crew," the other boys joked infuriating Ronnie as they finally got to the pizza parlor.

"Whatever," Ronnie said brushing them off again as they waited for their order.

In the parlor, Liam went up to the counter and ordered three supreme pizzas, three pepperoni and three cheese pizzas for everybody to eat before he sent Pailu and Vic to the store next door to get drinks.

On the way back, Brian volunteered to take the girls up to blue but the girls were already there, waiting outside with two other girls who were introduced as Jane and Kel, a red head and a brunette with green tips. The whole group piled into both elevators and went up to blue, where Kirk was angrily pounding away at his collerller in a fighting game. Looking up to see what had made all the noise, Kirk saw the group of boys and a few sparse girls come in with food and drinks and gave up on the game and joined the fun.

Ronnie sat on the bar counter near the kitchen while Liam mixed drinks for everybody. While the night wore on, Damien and his girlfriend passed through, they played a few games and chatted with most the students there. Other people came and left, Pailu left around nine with on the the girls that Sara and Lynn had picked up for the time being.

Around one in the morning, Brian and Ronnie were elected by everybody else to buy more food and drinks, so they left, their pockets full of monetary donations to pay for whatever they bought.

Ronnie lead the way, once they were outside, to his blue-black 2152 Liger, one 5 years old, and it still ran like it was knew. Ronnie looked over at Brian who sighed like he was an old, stressed out man, concerned he nudged him, "Hey, Brian, what's wrong?"

"Hnn?" Brian asked looking at Ronnie through half lidded eyes, "Nothing, just a little tired from moving in, staying up till one drinkin', y'know."

"I know just what you mean," Ronnie said running his hand through his free hair as they waited at a red light in silence. "Hey, can you go into the glove compartment to find me something to tie up my hair?" he asked as the light turned green and he pulled away.

"No prob," Brian replied digging through the glove box looking for a ribbon or scrunchie for his friend. "Found one," he said sitting up as Ronnie pulled into a 24hour grocer.

"Thanks dude," he replied pulling most of his dark hair out of his eyes with the scrunchie Brian had found. "Lets go, maybe we can get them drunk and they'll pass out soon."

"Don't life my spirits, you cruel, cruel boy," Brian joked as they started filling a shopping cart with chips, beer, and frozen pizzas. Paying for their food, the two returned to see what kind of mess their common room was in.

Back in the common room the boys saw thn thn their twenty minutes gone, the group had mysteriously grown. There were another four girls there, and the other three boys from a different Hall altogether who hadn't been there earlier in the day.

"Well, I guess our dreams of getting any sleep tonight have been dashed against the windshield of Liam's 'Pissy Bitch' killing sword'" Ronnie said as he dropped his bags on the trash littered counter.

"I have one question about your statement," Brian said opening the last cold drink from the fridge as he sat down next to Ronnie.

"And that is..." Ronnie prompted, looking across the group waving at people who's attention stopped on him.

"Which one of us is the 'pissy' one and the 'bitchy' one?"

"I think you're the pissy one just for asking that dumbass question, dumbass." Ronnie replied opening one of the beers they'd just bought, taking a long swig before looking at Brian. Thank god I'm a good drunk he thought, glad his secret was safe. "Later boy, I'm gonna see who's winning the game," he said as he slid off his chair and moved through the crowd like somebody practiced at it. Saying hi to people he knew, Ronnie dropped to the floor in time to catch the controller as whoever had just lost threw it up for grabs. Looking to see who his opponent would be, Ronnie settled in and fought, barely winning the best 2 out of three as the party continued for hours.



"Hey, Ronnie, you've been asleep for a couple of hours, why don't you go back and check on Brian," Kirk said kicking Ronnie lightly in the shin. Blinking the sleep out of his eyes, Ronnie pulled himself up and returned to his bedroom to see how his sick roommate was fairing. Pulling his hair out of the tight bond his scrunchie had created, Ronnie pressed the Id pad and the door lifted, admitting him in.

Letting his eyes focus to the darkness of the room after the door closed, Ronnie looked toward the clock the bright numbers showed him that it was just about seven in the evening. Sighing, thinking that Brian had slept long enough, Ronnie slid back into the bed and lifted Brian so that is head rested in Ronnie's lap.

"So, do you think you've slept long enough?" Ronnie asked, running his hair falling over both shoulders, framing his face. Gently pressing his palm against Brian's forehead, Ronnie started to get up, saying, "Your fevers gone down, but I don't thin's g's gone just yet. I'll call Ryan and have him make some soup for you, that should help.

"Neh," Brian said reaching out and grabbing the bottom of Ronnie's shirt so keep the younger boy from leaving. "Don't go, stay with me."

Ronnie's gray eyes looked into Brian's green eyes, seeing the longing for comfort there, and returned to the bed, he sat back down on the bed and held his friend, petting his head again, like he had before. Brian relaxed back against Ronnie again, breathing deeply again, his eyes wandering around the room, resting on the clock for a moment, before looking back up at Ronnie's face.

Ronnie, closed his eyes, still petting Brian's hair when he felt his roommates hand land on hi cheek startling him. Opening his eyes, Ronnie saw something there, he saw complete love and trust in his eyes. Bending, Ronnie pressed his lips over brains, but he kept his eyes closed, unsure of what Brian would do, until Brian gently pressed back. Ronnie hugged Brian close before letting him fall asleep again, comforted and protected in his lap.



Ohh, that was, tedious. Okay, I thank all of you for not complaining that this chapter was almost an exact copy of the last, because, it basically was, but after this, all new info will be provided! Soon I will post what makes this story worthy of being posted on this site, but I'll probably have to change the M/M listing at the beginning and stuff, that's going elsewhere in my head, and I wasn't all to sure what to put there in the first place. Thanks for reading and I'll be posting again soon, hopefully.

Sorry, but after this chapter, my postings may take longer because I'm going back to school. This chapter and parts of four were written during the summer, so I posted more or less often. I will try to post something like once every other week, so please forgive if you don't see any new updates from me to often. It's not that I'm not working, it's just that I don't have the time to sit and type for hours.
D. Ichigo

=====

Chapter 4

HE PLAYS FOR THE OTHER TEAM
DAISUKE ICHIGO

:Summary: The trials and tribulation of two college students as hey find out more about their true selves. Ronnie, the younger girlie-boy and Brian the older tan skinned mystery, together they learn a lot about themselves. (I suck as summaries, please don't hate?)

Two last disclaimers, I apologize for keeping you away from the reading this long. I don't own 'Anxiety" this was written by the Black Eyed Peas and I'm not making any money off of using this song, it just seemed so perfect for then. it's on Elephunk, track 12 for those of you who want to hear it. rem remember, no hate because I don't own it. I (also) don't own 'Where is the Love' either. Just borrowing it. Only own one copy of the CD it's on. It just spoke out, and I can't think of anything else to put in here that wouldn't be complete garbage. Or, it would be good, I just don't have the lyrics or the time to find the lyrics for said song.

_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+
PONDERINGS
_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+

Sunday morning Brian woke up feeling much better then he had all weekend. He also awoke to the feeling of strong, not so female arms wrapped around him, hugging him against a flat, not very female feeling chest, that also felt quite bare, just like his. Opening his eyes, Brian saw the blinds pulled down and closed against the weak morning sun, and he saw his bed, un-slept in across the rug of his dorm room.

Fighting to stay calm, he struggled to remember why he was in Ronnie's bed, and not his own, and then he remembered he had been sick the day before and spent most the day asleep in Ronnie's bed. Blinking, he wondered why Ronnie just hadn't slept in his own bed, instead of sharing the thin twin bed with him, and he wondered why Ronnie just hadn't put him into his own bed.

Sighing at all the unknown answers floating around his head, Brian tried to gently move Ronnie's arms so he could get up, his bladder painfully full, but just as he pushed against Ronnie's arms, he felt Ronnie hold him closer, mumbling something that Brian couldn't hear.

Rolling over, Brian looked at his red headed roommate, feeling somewhat drawn to the clear skin so near his own. Fighting the urge to pat his face, Brian thought [What the hell? Why in hells name am I trying to pat his face? I'm straight, not a queer, so why am I attracted to him?] Studying Ronnie's face, Brian's thoughts continued to race. [I thought he already had a boyfriend, so why are we sharing a bed?] Brian felt the grip on his slender waist loosed a bit and rolled over, his face warm from its odd thoughts. [Would it be so bad if I did love him or if he loved me? He is nice, tall, makes me laugh. He sure as hell has taken care of my sad ass often enough these few months, considering I had mono in September, strep in early October, and I had a head cold around Halloween, leaving me bed ridden with fever and coughs. Because I couldn't leave, every time he was nice enough to go and get my homework, so where does that leave us?]

Forgetting about his bladder, Brian continued thinking, [I would be much worse off if Ronnie wasn't so caring and nice. He's helped me develop my ideas for some of my English writings, and there was that time I dragged him out to 'Escape' and he saved me from that chick's deranged boyfriend, I woulda been long gone if I had to go up against him.] Brian thought laughing a little, causing Ronnie to move from the slight movement. After the younger boy stopped, Brian let out a breath he didn't realize he had been holding and his thoughts continued. [But he's a boy, I can't date a non-girl, it's just not right, it's makes me wussy for turning away from the sweet touches and feelings of the female flesh.] Turning this thought over in his mind, Brian felt Ronnie's arm drop from him when Ronnie rolled over, now facing his wall, and not the open area of the room. Seeing his opportunity, Brian slid out of the bed and rushed to the bathroom still wondering if he was gay or not.

After finishing and washing his hands, the bare chested Brian walked out to the common room, feeling better, but his mind still ticking, rolling and wondering about how wrong it was to love Ronnie.

"Morning, Brian," a voice from the couch said, causing Brian to look to his left. "Feeling better?"

"Much, thanks, Adrian," Brian said running his hand through his spiky brown hair.

"That's good, considering how hard Ronnie tried to help you," Kirk said as he shuffled though the various game cases, looking for something to play. Dropping 'Soul Kalibur' onto the open disk slot, Kirk looked back up at Brian. "He stayed with you almost all day. He wouldn't let anybody in for anything, it's was a little scary how clingy he was yesterday, like a different person from our flippant Casanova we all love and cringe away from." Looking back at the television, Kirk started up the game. He and Ryan picked characters and ended up both playing at the same scantily-clad-large-weaponed girl. Brian looked at his closed door, the 03 shining at him brightly in the dulling blue field, thinking about his roommate and how different Ronnie acted with him and with everybody else in blue.

Going to the kitchen, Brian took out pans and food and started cooking eggs benedict, and ham, and he toasted a bagel, making a breakfast sandwich for Ronnie, his way of thanking the younger boy without vocalizing it. Carrying the plate of food back to dorm three, Brian saw Ronnie stil asleep, his back to the door.

Checking the clock a bright [10:10 am]stared out across the room. Crinkling his nose, Brian noticed an odd, rotting smell issuing from under Ronnie's bed and remember what Ronnie had told him the past morning. ++"You came in last night drunk as a fish. Woke up about 45 minutes ago and up chucked to beat the band all over my backpack, which you are replacing, the rug, and some of the floor under my bed."++

Placing the steaming sandwich on Ronnie's computer table Brian found some paper towels and went about his business trying to get the reeking smell out of the room when he noticed that a little of it was on Ronnie's quilt and some of it imbedded in the rug. Cleaning up the mess as best he could, Brian wrote himself a mental note telling himself to buy an air freshener to at least deal with some of the sour smell still clingingthe the room.

Washing his hands, Brian saw Ronnie sitting up in the bed, inspecting the sandwich that had cooled on his desk, his red hair falling all around his face and partially down his back. Looking at the door to see Brian enter, still not wearing a shirt, Ronnie gulped almost audibly as he fought his raging emotions for his roommate, hoping nothing would show on his face. "Morning."

"Same to you, and thanks," Brian said pointing at the sandwich and giving Ronnie a hand motion to tell him to eat. Taking the hint, Ronnie picked of the food and looked at it, not sure if he wanted to eat it, but decided against it and watched as Brian gathered up some clothes before heading back to the door, stopping, but not turning around for Ronnie to see his face. "Ronnie, I'm sorry for causing you trouble yesterday. Friday Jo (Joanne, not really important, though) dumped me just hours after Prof. Hammy (Professor Hamilton) gave me a low grade on our last test." Run his his right hand through his hair now balancing the clothes in the other, turning to look at Ronnie, Brian went on, "I was stressed, so I drank, like you said 'like a fish' then I stumbled back here, after Lou dropped me off, then I guess you can figure out the rest." He said, turning back to the door, his heart beating fast, and trying to ignore the odd feeling surging through his gut. "Well, I'll be back, soon, I guess," he mumbled leaving the room before Ronnie could for any sort of response.

Ronnie just sat in the bed, chewing his cheek, thinking about the glut of unasked information that Brian had given him. --Does he suspect anything?-- Ronnie thought, worried a little. [What wohapphappen if Dale come came back and--] he thought, trailing off in confusion and insecurity. Ronnie settled in his bed so that he was leaning onto the headboard of his bed, thinking about what he had been told. --Why did he do that? I never questioned him, I only figured something was wrong. What's wrong with him? Maybe he felt awkward about realizing he sleeping in the same bed as a guy. Maybe I should have slept in his bed and left him alone?--

Resting his head on the top of the headboard, Ronnie wondered what he should do. His grip on his emotions was weakening, he knew that something would happen that would trip him up and Brian would know how his roommate really felt about him. [Maybe a new boyfriend would be good. Dale is long gone, he still lives back in Vermont, working his way up the corporate ladder to busy to deal with a nineteen year old. He's almost twenty-six, he was nice to me and gentle, but something was always a little off between us.] closing his eyes Ronnie heard Brian return to their room a few minutes later, but the older boy didn't say anything.

Barely glancing at the younger boy who was still sitting in bed, Brian pulled a sweatshirt and coat out of his side of the closet before sitting on his own bed and pulling his boots on. "Later," was all he said, not giving Ronnie any indication as to where he was going. Ronnie sat watching Brian, through eyes half closed, as he left, before getting up to shower and dress for the day.

_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+

[Ohmigod! I think I've fallen in love with him. That's not really bad thing, but what if he doesn't really find me appealing. I remember when he told me he was gay, I more or less brushed it off. I mean, he lovho oho or what he wants to love.] Brian thought as the cool November winds swept around him as he walked toward his car. [I think I told him that as long as he doesn't hit on me, I'd be fine with it, but now I'm starting to wonder, I mean he kissed me last night and I don't remember resisting much. What should I do, he didn't say anything and I spilled all that private information. I mean it's not as if he really asked me why I had come back drunk, he just took care of me.]

Palming his car keys, Brian opened the door to his two-seater, five-on-the-floor red Pion, the black flames breaking as the door slid up, out of his way. Turning the key in the ignition and hearing the vehicle growl to life as the driver side door closed brought Brian back to the present, breaking his thoughts as he picked a radio station to listed to before driving out of the Duzell Hall parking lot and making a left as he drove to the mall.

On the radio {I feel like I wanna smack somebody
Turn around and bitch slap somebody (bitch)
But I ain't goin' out bro (no, no, no)
I ain't givin' into it (no, no, no)

Anxieties bash my mind in
Terrorizing my soul like Bin Laden
But I ain't fallin' down bro (no, no, no)
I won't lose control bro (no, no, no)

Shackle and chained
My soul feels stained
I can't explain got an ich on my brain
Lately my whole aim is to maintain

And regain control of my mainframe
My bloods boiling its beatin' out propaine
My train of thoughts more like a runaway train
I'm in a fast car drivin' in a fast lane
In the rain and I'm might just hydroplaine}

[This song is so perfect,] Brian thought bouncin his head with the rock pop beat of the song as he drove to the mall.

{I don't fear none of my enemies
And I don't fear bullets from Uzis
I've been dealing with something thats worse than these
That'll make you fall to your knees and thats the

-The anxiety the sane and the insane rivalry
Paranoias brought me to my knees
Lord please, please, please
Take away my anxiety
The sane and the insane rivalryranoranoias brought me to my knees
Lord please, please, please
Take away my anxiety-}

stopping at a light Brian looked out his window at the people walking on the sidewalk. He saw couples holding hands, cooing away like doves. Looking to the left sidewalk Brian saw two owneryingying to drag their dogs away from each other, their barks muted by the music blastin the the car. Pulling away as the light changed, Brian focused on the beat and the music forgetting about hi stress and worries for the moment.

{My head keeps running away my brother
The only thing making me stay my brother
But I won't give into it bro (no, no, no)
Gotta get myself back now (no, no, no)

God, I can't let my mind be
Tell my enemy is my own
Gots to find my inner wealth
Gots to hold up my thoughts
I can't get caught (no, no, no)
I can't give into it now (no, no, no)

Emotions are trapped set on lock
Got my brain stuck goin through the motions
Only I know what's up
I'm filled up with pain
Tryin' to gain my sanity

Everywhere I turn its a dead end infront of me
With nowhere to go gotta shake this anxiety
Got me feelin' strange paranoia took over me
And its weighin' me down
And I can't run any longer, yo
Knees to the ground

I don't fear none of my enemies
And I don't fear bullets from Uzis
I've been dealing with something thats worse than these
That'll make you fall to your knees and thats the

-The anxiety the sane and the insane rivalry
Paranoias brought me to my knees
Lord please, please, please
Take away my anxiety
The sane and the insane rivalry
Paranoias brought me to my knees
Lord pleasleaslease, please
Take away my anxiety-}

Pulling into the mall parking lot, Brian listened to the end of the song while waiting for a small red car to pull out of a space three rows over from the nearest entrance.

{I don't fear none of my enemies
And I don't fear bullets from Uzis
I've been dealing with something thats worse than these
That'll make you fall to your knees and thats the

-The anxiety the sane and the insane rivalry
Paranoias brought me to my knees
Lord please, please, please
Take away my anxiety
The sane and the insane rivalry
Paranoias brought me to my knees
Lord please, please, please
Takin' away my anxiety-}

Resting his forehead on the steering wheel as the last chords of the song faded away and the radio's DJ came on announcing the next song, this one a ballad, before Brian cut the power, the car quieting. Pulling the handle, the door slid up and Brian climbed out at looked toward the mall, praying he'd find what he wanted soon.

_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+

Ronnie walked out of the bathroom around eleven-forty, his hair dark with water laying limply ast hst his back as he walked through the common room to room three, pausing only a moment to see who was playing video games before pressing the ID pad to enter his room. Dropping his pajama pants on his bed, Ronnie sat down at his computer and 'woke' it from the screensaver and the programmed 'sleep' mode to continue work.

Once the screen had cleared Ronnie opened a file labeled 'Forlorn' and watched as the Micropop Word opened the desired document and counted up the 245 pages he had already typed. Dragging the scrbar bar to the bottom, Ronnie reached the last two paragraphs he had typed before connecting to his Internet radio to continue working.

Listening to the pounding keys in Tchaikovsky's piano concerto, Ronnie worked on his story for his Historical English class. The story he was working on was about a married wife in 16th century France who was not being fulfilled the way she desired and so slept with hundreds of men, killing any child she conceived in these affairs. After finding men undesirable and not satisfying enough, in the woman started going out to brothels, dressed as a man. Hiding all from her husband who was too busy to suspected something was amiss. Eventually the husband started noticing that some of their servants were missing, and new, less efficient servants were in their house, in their places. The husband had spies searching the house to find out who was firing the old maids and butlers, and hiring the new one. The spies brought him news of his adulterous wife and sent them to figure out why she was so unfaithful to him. The husband learned that while he spent most of his time in a different part of the house from his wife, managing their estates and training his heir in all he needed to do, his wife had become a nymphomaniac and had screwed everything she could, even bringing harm upon herself from her adventurous actions.

Carefully looking back at the past few pages, Ronnie mentally mapped out what the husbands course of action would be. He had already written a rough outline, knowing the stories conclusion, but where he was, was critical. How he had to explain the next part of the story would make it or break it. Ronnie sat and typed for describing how the husband strung and elaborate trap in the most recent brothel his wife was using.

Sighing and leaning back away from the desk, Ronnie looked at the clock in the corner of the screen [1:30] looked at him in the dark blues he'd liked for his screen. Saving his work, Ronnie stretched his legs and standing, his stomach grumbled angrily atfor for ignoring it for so long, he looked at the sandwich Brian had set down hours ago, having never picked it, before he left the room to see what was in the kitchen. Yawning, slightly tired from writing for so long, Ronnie poked around the kitchen to see what he had to eat.

Finding nothing desirable in the kitchen he returned to his room grumbling about the lack of food. Getting his wallet, Ronnie picked up a jacket to go over his sweatshirt and left to buy something.

Walking toward the parking lot, Ronnie saw Brian's red and black two-seater pull into the parking lot. Wanting to prevent an awkward moment between them, Ronnie ducked into a park to his right and started walking in circles. After going around the park a couple of times, Ronnie decided he was hungryto bto bto be able to get past Brian if he was still there and to his car. Making the left and breaking his circuit of the park, Ronnie checked the parking lot and saw that Brian was gone. Sighing gratefully he climbed into his dark vehicle drove to the nearest fast-food restaurant, Taco Banzai.

Clicking on the radio, Ronnie heard no songs he liked, but finally settled on a song he had never heard before.

On the radio {Where is the love
The love, the love

It just t tht the same, always unchanged
New days are strange, is the world insane
If love and peace is so strong
Why are there pieces of love that don't belong

Nations droppin' bombs
Chemical gasses fillin' lungs of little ones
With the ongoin' sufferin' as the youth die young
So ask yourself is the lovin' really gone
So I could ask myself really what is goin' wrong}

[This song is different.] Ronnie thought making a left further down the road then Brian had. [I wonder where the love between Brian and Dale and me is. Is it still there between Dale and me, or is it now between Brian and me]

{In this world that we livin' in people keep on givin' in
Makin' wrong decisions, only visions of them dividends
Not respectin' each other, deny thy brother
A war is goin' on but the reason's undercover
The truth is kept secret, (SSSH, SSSH)
it's swept under the rug
If you never know truth then you never know love
Where's the love, y'all, come on (I don't know)
Where's the truth, y'all, come on (I don't know)
Where's the love, y'all

People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
and would you turn the other cheek

Father, Father, Father help us
Send us some guidance from above...}

Changing the radio station to a more calming classical station, Ronnie tried to let the playful chords of Vivaldi's 'Four Seasons: Spring' chase the depressing questions from his mind.

Soon pulling into the parking lot of the Taco Banzai, Ronnie cut off the car, and got out the car. Humming the tune of the Beethoven song that came on after the Vivaldi went off. Inside the restaurant, Ronnie got onto the end of the short line of customers and waited his turn, still trying to ignore the thoughts running through his head about Brian. [He's un-allowed, remember, dumbass] he chided hoping it would help. [Right after you told him you were gay he said he was fine with it, but he wouldn't be to fine with it if mademade any advance on him.]

Weighing the options, another part of him replied --Well then, what about last night, why didn't you stop me then?!? Why didn't he stop me himself? I mean, if I remember right, he kissed me back!--

[He was sick and had a temperature you fool! Of coarse he couldn't do much!] The first side answered, this time the fight not sounding as strong as it had in the beginning of the argument. [He was defenseless, which makes your kiss even worse!]

"Excuse me, sir, are you ready to order?" a voice asked, startling Ronnie away from his thoughts.

"Huh, what," he mumbled for a moment, remembering where he was. "Oh, yeah. Can I have a number five, beef, no sour cream please."

"Alright, that's will be $5.11," the cashier replied after placing the order. "Thank you, your number will be called shortly.

Taking the receipt from the man, Ronnie flopped into an embootbooth before remembering about the drink that came with his food. Getting back up, Ronnie went to the drink dispenser and mixed the lemon-lime sodas with the fruit juices in his own mock Bloody Mary.

Sitting back down with his drink, Ronnie waited five minutes until his order was called. Thanking the woman who passed him his food, he returned to his car and rode out to a small lake to eat and think. Sitting on the grass and looking out across the churning water, Ronnie started eating the beef chalupa he had bought and letting his mind wander to where it would.

[Does Brian feel weird about what happened last night? I mean he kind of just left after making me that sandwich. Maybe I should have dumped it before he got back and thought I was mean about not eating it or something. It was odd, he cooked for me.]

--Maybe he truly likes you, and you just can't handle that idea--

[But if he liked me, why would he tell me not to touch him or anything?]

--Because, he didn't know he liked you months ago, I meas aas a child you though you were in love with girls, until ::it:: happened. -

[I can't do anything about what happened, but...]

--We don't know if it did or didn't affect you, stupid, we just have to take care of whatever's going on now. Whatever's going to happen.-

Getting up, Ronnie cleared his head of the negative memories. The memories that are always plaguing him, and only sometimes leaving him. Picking up I food wrappers, Ronnie climbed the hill back to where he had left the care, preparing to return to his homework.

_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+

Brian ignored the fact that he saw Ronnie circling the park near the parking lot and returned to blue to relax after his long and tiring day. [I wonder if he'll like the CDs] he questioned himself as the elevator opened its doors, granting him admittance. -Well, he likes classical, and he doesn't have much from Chopin or Bach. He mostly listens to his radio or the Internet radio so this might be a nice change of pace.-

[I know, but you'd think I could think of something better for his twentieth birthday gift!]

{Well, you could always give him your self} a relaxed and evil voice said from the back of Brian's head.

[What the hell are you talking about!] his sensible side yelled to the quiet, dirty voice. [I could never do that. And anyway, if I were gay, I'd be on top!]

{You know you want the feel of another man's hands sliding up and down you. You know you'd love the feeling of somebody having the power over you to make you squeal and squirm. Stop lying about your dreams. Stop acting as if you're completely straight!}

[What dreams?] a quiet voice asked, scared of the answer.

Brian got off the elevator, the quiet voice battling the evil voice, shocking him as he remembered thoughts he though he had locked away. Ignoring the questioning stares he got from the boys playing games infront of the computer, Brian walked to dorm three and his legs buckled beneath him as soon a the door closed.

{ #A pressure pounding away inside of me. Long red hair fanning about me chest as something wet and warm travels up and down my body.#}

[stop it]

{^I groan and moan as strong hands hold me still as something long and hard enters me, tarring me as a wave of pleasure and pain washes up my body^}

[Shut up, stop it!]

{*I hear my name chanted behind me as I repeat a name that rolls off my tongue with familiarity. 'Ronnie, Ronnie, Ronnie' I chant, moaning as my arms ach from holding the bed's headboard. I scream his name out loud coming hard on the bed, sweat pouring down me as Ronnie comes soon after. I feel his sweaty body on top mine as I collapse onto the bed. He holds me close and presses his lips to the side of my neck whispering 'I love you'*}

"STOP IT!" Brian yelled wrapping his hands around his head as if to force the memories away. "STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! I DON'T WANT TO REMEMBER ANY OF THIS! I WISH YOU'D GO AWAY! LEAVE ME ALONE!" he screamed out loud at the voice in his head. "LEAVE ME ALONE! GO AWAY! THERE'S NOTHING WRONG ME! I'm perfectly normal!" he said, his voice dropping to a quiet whisper as he gripped his elbows, hugging himself as he rocked back and forth, oblivious to the voices outside the door, calling out to him. "I'm perfectly fine! I had a girlfriend, but shmpedmped me. I'll get another soon, there's nothing wrong with being single. I never had any of those dreams." He said trying to rationalize his thoughts, his nails digging small red moons into his arms.

{Stop lying to yourself}

"No, no, no." he replied as sweat trickled down his face and blood started falling from his arms.

-Stop lying to yourself, Brian. You know you're not straight.-

"I'm alright, I'm fine, there's nothing wrong with me!"

[Brian, you know you're wrong. You've been living a lie for years, at least en years and you know it.]

"No, I'm a good Christian boy. I'm in love with girls not boys."

[Stop lying to yourself! You know you're lying.]

"No, I'm telling the truth. I'm a good boy. Mommy will give me something good if I'm a good boy."

-Ever since Mother saw you once kissing Justin you've been hyper-obsessed with girls. You know you're lying to your self. You know you're hurting yourself.-

"No, I didn't kiss Justin. I never touched him wrong. He never touched my body."

{He did} the third voice sounding kinder then it had earlier less of a threatening edge to it, more calming. {The last time you say him, when he slept over, he touched you. He wrapped his hand around you and made you moan and scream.}

"No, Justin never touched me there. He never grabbed my penis. He never...he never..."

[He did and you begged him for more. You loved it and then your mother caught you, she caught you on top of him. She caught you as you impaled yourself on him.]

-She heard you moan, she saw as he wrapped his hands about your smaller waist and pull you all the way down on him. She saw it all in horror.-

"No...no-nothing happened. She saw nothing," Brian said weakly as he succumbed to the truth in his head.

[You know what she saw. She knows what she saw. That's why you never saw Justin after that. You never saw the older boy who took you first.]

"She saw everything and hated me for it."

{Yes, she saw everything, that's why Justin is gone. That's why George and Sam and Bill are gone. She feared that they would all corrupt you and send you to hell.}

"But she was wrong, I asked them. Everytime, I asked them, until she had me committed." Brian slowly stood up and walked to the bed, no paying attention to which bed he went to. Laying down and smelling a pleasant spicy scent, Brian shed his clothes, the his arms searing in pain from the movement. Kicking his clothes to the floor, Brian wrapped his body in the comforting dark sheets and stared at the wall as he mind slowed.

-{[it's okay]}- all three voices said at the same time, soothing Brian's mind. -{[You'll be okay, you'll be safe. You mother is far, far away. She can't hurt you anymore, you're safe. If anything happen, Ronnie will protect you like he has all year.]}-

"Yes, Ronnie has been good for me. Ronnie has been there. Ronnie will be nice and rough," tho those final words, Brian painfully grabbed his imp cock and thought of how nice Ronnie's body had felt next to his the night before, bringing it to full attention.

Sliding his hand up and down the hard shaft, Brian moaned, imagining it was Ronnie giving him a hand job. Grabbing his sacs with his other hand, Brian moaned at the rough touch and started thrusting into his hand. Pinching one of his nipples, Brian arched into the pain and moaned as he rubbed the aching flash while still moving his hand up and down his shaft feeling only the firm pressure on his penis and the other pressure on his chest.

After pinching his other nipple, hard, like the first, Brian started sucking his fingers until and then he let the saliva trail down his chest, making a short circle around his navel before reaching his desired destination. Lifting his leg out of the way, Brian harshly shoved his fingers into his ass and moaned at the feeling, his grip on his cock painfully tight as he continued to work himself.

Running one finger over the highly sensitive tip, Brian came and screamed out Ronnie's name. Pulling his fingers out of himself, Brian curled up in the bed, Ronnie's bed, and fell asleep, his mind quiet.

_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+

Ronnie burst into the room, rushing after he'd gotten back to his car, hearing from Kirk and Adrian that something was wrong with Brian and he was screaming. Looking for Brian, Ronnie found him curled up in his bed, asleep in the mid-afternoon light filtering into the room.

Looking at the form in his bead, Ronnie sighed because Brian appeared to be seeping and not dead. Walking carefully over to the bed Ronnie decided to check out Brian, make sure he was living.

Pulling the sheets down from Brian's neck, Ronnie saw the blood drying, smeared across his arm and knitted his eyebrows in confusion, but decided to leave Brian alone to sleep in his bed. Tired from his raging thoughts and the events of the day, Ronnie walked over to Brian's bed and fell asleep as soon as he had his shoes off.

_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+

Wow, this was a long ass chapter and I worked damn hard on it so...

NO HATE!!!

And I'd like to thank my mind, because that's how my mind works. Ahh, the sweet two sided conversations for when I've got a problem to worry about. Three ree sided convo's are some of the worst.

As for the 'dreams' Brian has, those are three separate dreams he had. I'm not sure how obvious that is, but I thought you'd like to know that.

Just a reminder, I am starting a mailing list, which I will keep up! Like I said, questions I can't answer in a rant, send it to dichigo88@yahoo.com and I'll reply, if you don't mind minor spoilers. I meant to post this with chapter three, but I forgot and I just decided not to repost it with this information, since, I figured I could always post it some other time.

One last reminder, school will be holding me up, so I hope you don't mind waiting for the postings. I plan on keeping things to about two postings a month, but please bear with me if I mess up, I'm still writing and planning. Thankies to all you wonderful readers and reviewers!
DI

=========

So, that was a trip down memory lane for me, and ....well, i don't know what it was for you reader. But, it's me, it was me back in 2004, how I wrote. Um, I will never apologize for it, aside from never writing more before, but now that I'm older it can be properly written when I get the time to sit down and just write.

Until the next post, brush your face and grease your hair :)

Jasmine P.

He Plays For the Other Team

Good Morning you lucky movie goers. I wil lnow be cross posting a story I wrote all the way back in 2004. I know what you're thinking, "'04 wasn't that terribly long ago" True, it was only a sad five years ago that I wrote this, but I have grown as a writer and as a person, and the jumps in age as a kid are that much mroe sustantial than the jumps in age as an adult. I mean, the brunt of our growth is done before we're twenty. Hell, for most people height is accomplished by about 18, 19. Guys are a bit different, but for the most part 20 is where everything ends, so my intelligence and writing skill have increased substantially since 2004 when this was written.

For a little bit of backbone for the creation of this story and the characters here we go. I spent a whole mess of time during 9th grade reading yaoi and I spent the following summer riding to the Books-A-Million or Barnes & Noble on the other side of Reston. Other time that summer was spent being a pissy depressed kid, and writing. Sometime during ninth grade I started reading fanfiction and after a while I wrote some fanfiction, most notably are three things. One Hellsing story, based off the anime more so than the manga, of Seras' last night as a human. (I hope that's on my external...) I'd written a Gravitation song-fic that was a suicide song written by Shuichi and sung by Ryuichi at Shuichi and Yuuki's joint funeral. Not the best thing written. My final fanfic that I can remember cursing the internet with was one about Inuyasha where Kagome decides that she needs to live in the present instead of the past and tells Inuyasha she's not spending her summer in the Feudal Era, but instead in the present day. Inuyasha is of course angered by this and jumps through the well, gets stuck in the present day, and has to live out his summer with her. At some point they were going to have sex, I seriously can't remember when. Back in the Feudal era Sango and Miroku were gettin' it on at a hot spring alone, they left Shippou with Kaede.

After writing these stories, I decided I was tired of playing with someone else's characters. I was like 'I don't need all this background exposition to write smut' so I sat down and wrote one called' Lessons from My Mother' about this girl who's snooping through her mother's drawers and finds her vibrator and a milieu of other sex toys. Her mother comes home to gfind her snooping and proceedes to sexually punish her daughter. I had another story about twin brothers who arbitrailly go at it.

All that, those 5 stories and whatever else I never let see the light of day were all preperation for this story, this epic story about a guy who gives his self sexual amnesia to please his mother. At 15 I never thought about how big of a topic it was until I seriously got into writing it, and never finished it. It's a story that I think is important, and could work out. It needs to be re-written to pieces, but here are the first two chapters. Chapters 3 and 4 will be on their own just because chapter 4 is as long as it is. It's sad really, I stopped writing this just when the story was getting good and into it's drama and actually addressing everything that is hinted at.

Well, that was supposed to be shorter than it is, but it happens. I hope this doesn't make your eyes bleed too terribly.

-------------------

HE PLAYS FOR THE OTHER TEAM
DAISUKE ICHIGO

:Summary: The trials and tribulation of two college students as hey find out more about their true selves. Ronnie, the younger girlie-boy and Brian the older tan skinned mystery, together they learn a lot about themselves. (I suck as summaries, please don't hate?)


ROOMMATES



His tan skin. His smooth creamy tan skin underneath me, moving with me. I look into his emerald eyes as he looks up at me. His arms around my neck pulling me down into a warm kiss. Me moans my name "Ronnie, Ronnie, harder, push it harder. Deeper, make me come hard." I comply, he moans into my neck as I work to make us come. Speeding up I call his name, "Brian!"

Ronnie wakes up with a small muffled scream as he rolls over to look at his bed side clock. 1:47am shines back at him, bright red numbers in an otherwise dark room. "Shit," looking across the room he notices his roommate isn't there. "Good, at least if I was talking in my sleep, he wasn't here to hear me." Flopping back into bed Ronnie tries to banish the dream from his head as he falls back to sleep. As he slowly starts snoring, he this he hears the high squeal of their dorm door opening and then closing, no light shining in.



Ronnie wakes up the next morning, his body curled tightly into a ball, held close to warm body. Opening his eyes, he sees firm tan skin and feels the weight of an arm around him. Moving his head ever so slightly, he sees the innocent, sleeping face of the man he longed for in his dreams.

What the hell? Why is Brian over here? Aww shit, he must ave been drunk whenever he came in last night. Sighing before slowly shifting, Ronnie tries to get out of bed without waking the older man, and fails. Brian opens an unfocused emerald eye and brings the hand he had around Ronnie to his face to rub sleepily at his eye.

"Son of a bitch," he groans, opening both eyes and focusing his vision on the bare chested body in front of him. Hmm, what's wrong with this body? He thinks groggily following the muscle line up the neck to the face where he sees shock and mild fright on his roommates' face. Trying to focus on the face above him, Brian feels his stomach heave twice, painfully, before he rolls over and empties his stomach on the edge of the rug and onto the hardwood paneling under the bed. When his stomach is empty of all it had he dry heaves a few times before rolling back onto the bed, eyes unfocused as he looks up to the long haired figure above him. Smiling weakly he moans, "You were right Juliana," he moans with a small laugh, "I can't hold my liquor." Falling asleep, Brian moves to the warmth he thinks to be his sister and his breathing evens out, softly.

Ronnie carefully untangles himself from Brains painful grip as he looks at his clock. 8.52am glares at him, fighting to be seen in the bright sunlight behind the window. Having successfully untangled himself this time, without waking Brian, Ronnie leans over the bed to see what Brian hit as he puked. Crinkling his nose form the smell, Ronnie slowly crawls toward the foot of the bed to find a shirt and to get a mop. Dammit, why the hell did Brian have to puke all over my backpack? I swear, I'm gonna make him by me a new one, I don't have the money to get a new one my self. Cursing his roommates weak stomach, Ronnie goes to the fairly large common room and presses his thumb against a green pad on the wall next to a door across the room. The door opens, sliding up and he gets the mop and water bucket out so he can clean the mess.

Returning to his room, Ronnie gets to work, blessing whoever was watching over him that today was a Saturday, so he didn't have any classes to go to. Out loud he said, "You're lucky today's a Saturday, or your ass would have been dumped on the floor in this mess." Sighing as he thought about how he'd never do that, Ronnie returned the cleaning supplies before going to the communal bathroom used by the other three dorms in their block to was up before returning to his room, refreshed in body and spirit.

Back in his room, Ronnie saw Brian sitting up still in his bed, his short spiky brown hair sticking out in all directions. "Morning, Sunshine."

"Bah. Why the hell am I in your bed, and what's that god awful smell?" Brian asked one of his hands resting limply in his lap, the other holding his head as if the pain would split it apart as he looked around the room confused.

"You came in last night drunk as a fish," Ronnie said, digging through one of his drawers looking for a clan shirt. "Woke up about 45 minutes ago and up chucked to beat the band all over my backpack, which you are replacing, the rug, and some of the floor under my bed,." Settling an orange shirt that said 'It's a dog-eat-dog world out there and I plan on being full' He then pulled on the black jeans he's been wearing the day before and his sneakers on while sitting on Brian's bed. "I have no idea why you came to my bed, but I am royally pissed that you fucked up my bag. I'm going out to get you some antacids, so you don't do that again, and pain killers, because from experience, your head should be falling apart about now. Stay there, I'll be back in ten." Walking to the door, Ronnie made a right and pressed is thumb over another green sensor pad that opened a door to a short corridor.

Pressing to door to the elevator, Ronnie wondered just how long he'd be able to keep up his charade about not being in love with his roommate hae had been ecstatic when he saw Brian in his bed, with him, wondering if he'd gone there on purpose. Seeing the doors open, he said good morning to the two other boys in the elevator before stepping in, trying not to think about how much he liked having Brian's warmth next to him.



Brian sat up sluggishly, his arms feeling like lead weights, his head throbbing, and his stomach starting to wretch painfully again at the rancid smell reaching his nose. Hearing to door open, he looked up and saw Ronnie toweling his hair, walking back to their room in nothing but his boxers.

"Morning, Sunshine," Ronnie said after a small look of surprise crossed his face seeing his roommate up already.

Glaring at his roommate he growled, "Bah. Why the hell am I in your bed, and what's that god awful smell?" he asked turning his head as if that would help him find the culprit, and to stop, looking at his younger roommates exposed glistening flesh.

Letting the towel rest on his neck, Ronnie replied as he dug through his dresser for something, "You came in last night drunk as a fish. Woke up about 45 minutes ago and up chucked to beat the band all over my backpack, which you are replacing, the rug, and some of the floor under my bed." Brian looked at the bright shirt Ronnie put on thinking first about how it hurt is eyes, and then how good he looked in it. He watched as his roommate continued to get dressed as he spoke. "I have no idea why you came to my bed, but I am royally pissed that you fucked up my bag. I'm going out to get you some antacids, so you don't do that again, and pain killers because your head should be falling apart about now. Stay there, I'll be back in ten."

Brian watched as his roommate walked to the room, his eyes focused on the sexy ass that was half hiddeom vom view because of the jeans. Falling back on the bed dizzy, Brian rested one hand over his eyes as if to block out the morning sun as he dozed, wondering why the room suddenly felt to hot, rousing slightly when he heard Ronnie's voice rumbling to his ears from behind him, his hand gently passing through his hair as if to tame the wild spikes. He tried to focus on the words his roommate said, but the sounds eluded him as he leaned back heavily against the warmth behind him, feeling strong arms wrap around him, comforting him as he slept.



Ronnie came back to the room ten minutes later only to see that Brian had fallen back onto the bed, his breathing short, slightly erratic, as if he had a fever. Dropping the matioation and the food he'd brought to go with them on his bedside table, he quickly pulled off his shoes and shirt before sitting on the bed behind the sleeping boy, pulling Brian to sit in his lap.

"You foolish boy, you shouldn't be drinking when you're sick." He said softly, more to himself then to Brian. "I wonder what you did to make you drink so, you only do that when something's wrong. I've been your roommate since the beginning of September and now it's mid-November, so I should know you as well as I'd know anybody." Absentmindedly smoothing his hair, Ronnie felt Brian stir a little before settling again, still asleep. "Don't worry, you'll be fine. I'll protect you," he said wrapping his arms around Brian tighter before laying down with him, Brian's head nestled safely under his chin, their bodies pressed together, Ronnie hugging him from behind, as if he could pass his health along to the other boy.

Soon both of them were breathing deeply, the fall morning sun enveloping them in their quiet world of peace.

====
A new story! Yippee!:: jumps for joy:: Brian and Ronnie will be having a bit of fun later on, but how much fun can you have with a sick person. ..please... don't any of you answer that. I don't want my fragile innocent (snicker) mind to be ruined.

Anyway, I'll be back soon. I'm not sure how long this is goinglastlast, but it will be interesting, I'll be posting chapter two soon. Please don't hate that it's short, I'm just building up for something longer and more interesting for later, hopefully, enjoy!
D. I.

----

Chapter 2

HE PLAYS FOR THE OTHER TEAM
DAISUKE ICHIGO

:Summary: The trials and tribulation of two college students as hey find out more about their true selves. Ronnie, the younger girlie-boy and Brian the older tan skinned mystery, together they learn a lot about themselves. (I suck as summaries, please don't hate?)

Here's chapter two! Yippee! I hope y'alls enjoy this new story just as much as y'all enjoyed my last post! DI


FIRST MEETINGS


Brian woke up again, alone in Ronnie's bed with cool, damp cloth on his forehead. Looking up at the ceiling, he focused his attention on the posters his roommate had nailed up there, remembering the day they had met.

~~~~~~~~~~

Brian pressed his thumb against the identification pad to his building with his arms loaded with his computer for classes, and kicking a crate with CD's through the door. Setting the computer on top of the crate, Brian pushed up his wire rimmed glasses, looking for the elevators when somebody picked up his computer.

"Excuse me? What are you doing?" he asked the other boy, who was now holding the computer. This boy was wearing a black bandanna tied in the back of his head under the bangs of his shoulder length brown hair. He looked taller then Brian's 5'6", possible 6' 2", holding the computer like it was nothing.

"You looked as if you could use a little help. I'm Damien Leos, the RA, I'm just over there," Damien replied pointing to a hallway to their right.

"Okay, thanks. I'm Brian Grey, I live on the fourth floor in the blue cell," he replied picking up his CDs and following Damien to the elevators.

"I was in blue my first year, it's one of the nicer cells." Damien said as the elevator stopped to admit them on the first floor.

"Hey, wait, please hold the elevator," a voice called as a long red haired boy ran through the foyer of the dorm building, with a large blue duffle slung over his shoulder, a television somehow balanced in his hands. Brian pushed the 'door open' button for the boy, as he finished crossing the room. In the elevator the boy put his television down, but still held onto his bag. "Thank you for holding the door," he said as the doors closed.

"No problem, which floor are you on?" Damien asked as the elevator began to move.

"Four, I'm in blue, I've already been up a few times, but I didn't wan to wait for the other elevator, these things are so fucking slow." Looking at the two boys in front of him, the new boys' pale gray eyes carefully studied both of their faces, as if to commit them to memory. "I'm Ronald Kir III, but most people call me Ronnie."

"I'm Brian and thisDamiDamien, the RA." Brian said extending his had for the other boy to shake. "I'm also in cell blue."

"Nice to meet you, Ronnie," Damien said also shaking hands in greeting.

The boys continued talking, explaining where they had come from as they reached the fourth floor, second from the top, and made a right from the elevator to the blue cell. Damien pressed his thumb against the ID pad and the door opened, revealing a large living room, with light blue walls. There was a couch and television on the left of them, and a small kitchen area to their right. There were four doors spread out around the room, each with a number painted on the blue, in white paint.

"So, which room were you assigned?" Damien asked as Ronnie made his way across to room three.

"I was assigned to," Brian started as he balanced his computer in one hand, digging in his pocket for his assignment card, "room three."

"Cool, were roommates," Ronnie said as he opened the door to their room. The room had two twin bed on opposite sides of the room, the head boards facing opposite sides. There were two desks, one by the window , the other by the door, and a large double closet that had a divider in the middle to separate their clothes. The floor was wooden planked, and it had appeared that Ronnie had claimed one side of the room already, the left side, leaving the right side to Brian.

Damien put Brian's computer on the desk nearest to the door, "See ya guys, I gotta go."

"Bye, tanks for helping," Brian said dropping CDs on the floor by the desk. "Hey, Ronnie, would you mind helping me bring the rest of my stuff up here?"

"Sure, no problem." Ronnie said straightening form putting bag on the floor, next to the bed. "It's not going to take me long to unpack, so okay." In the hallway heading back to the elevator the boys chatted more about their families. "So, how old are you? When's your birthday?"

"May, 30th, I'm 20 right now," Brian replied as they rode back down the elevator. "You?"

"November 17th, I'm turning 20," Ronnie replied as they reached the ground floor and went to where Brian had left his car.

At the car the boys picked up more bags before they headed back up to their dorms. It took them three more trips to get the rest of Brian's stuff. On their last trip up stairs they passed another boy lugging three heave bags to their dorm building.

"Hey, you," Ronnie called slinging shifting his box of Brian's handwritten stories to resettle it more balanced, "do you need some help?"

"Me?" the boy with short, black hair asked turning to see who was questioning him. "Nah, I'm fine, but I might need some help getting in." he said blushing sheepishly.

"That's alright," Brian said balancing his box in one hand to press the ID pad. "which floor are you on?" the three walked into the dormitory.

"I'm on two, cell green, dorm 1," he replied heaving as he leaned against the elevator wall. "I'm Pailu Frank, most people call me Pai."

"Hi Pai, this is Brian and I'm Ronnie," he said indicating to each of them. "We're roommates on four, cell blue, dorm 3."

"I'll have to come up sometime," Pailu said as the elevator stopped on his floor. "Good luck this year," he waved as he dragged his stuff off the elevator, down a green hallway.

As the doors closed Ronnie sighed thinking about how hard his junior year was going to be. "So, I meant to ask this sooner, what's your major, it looks to be writing, but I could be wrong."

"I'm a screen and stage writer." Brian said tapping the box Ronnie had set at his feet. "In that box are some of my older plays." Brian smiled as a wave of nostalgia passed through him. "I used to be big, back in the day in that foreign place called high school. My major is in English, play-write to be exact, but I'm hoping to get my name in lights, somewhere. I plan on traveling if I don't do any good in the States." The elevator stopped on four, and they walked to blue. "What's you major?"

"I'm majoring in writing, novels not plays, and my minor is in acting." He replied as they walked into their common room only to find three other boys on the couch. "Yo," Ronnie waved.

"Hey, I'm Liam, Liam Elda." A tall lanky looking fellow said straightening from leaning over the back of the couch. Liam wore his light brown hair cut short, red on its tips as it spiked away in the back. "I'm in yellow, dorm 4, I was helping Mickey here, he's in dorm 1."

"Yo, I'm Michael Dower, like Liam said, I'm in 1." Michael was sitting on the couch, a box in his lap with controllers to a PS2 and game jewel cases. "Which rooms are you in?"

"Son of a bitch," a fairly high for guy's voice erupted from behind the television. A small, mousy frame emerged, his brown hair graying with dust, two electronic cords in his hands. Looking at the long-red haired boy and at the brown haired brunette he started blushing in embarrassment. "Sorry about the out burst, I'm Kirk, Kirk Magyar. Dorm 4, my roommate isn't here yet, but it's early, only 2," extending his hand, both Brian and Ronnie accepted introducing themselves.

Ditching Brian's stuff in their dorm, the boys went back out to the common room to see if they could help Kirk, Michael and Liam. Ronnie flopped into the comfortable sagging couch on Michaels right side, Brian on his left. "Hey, Mousy, Kirk, do you need any help?" Ronnie called correcting himself before Kirk could pull himself from the tangle of cords to glare at him.

Kirk huffed with exasperation, "I'm fine, but you'd think an electronic major could put together a simple video game system, it's like damn." Dropping the wires, Kirk backed up from his place behind the television, "Ronnie, Brian, can either of you put together a PS2?"

"I had one," Brian said getting backup and going behind the TV. "Somebody, turn on the TV and change the TV input," he ordered while he fiddled with the cords Kirk had dropped in disgust. The screen automatically changed to a dark picture with a floating memory card and game CD. "There, that was simple enough."

"Fuck you," Kirk said growling as he stalked off toward his room.

"Don't mind him, he's just stressed because of moving in and the fact that he had to drive over the States just to get to Ishtar University," Michael explained as Kirks door closed.

"So, anyone else hungry enough to eat the pissy one?" Ronnie said, relieving the room of the tension that Kirk's explosion and moving in had caused.

"I'm game," Liam said as he headed toward the door, "just let me get my 'Pissy Bitch' killing sword."

The three boys laughed as they followed Liam to horm orm in yellow on the other side of their floor. The yellow dorm looked just like the blue one, except this one was covered in yellow paint.

"It's like being a banana," Ronnie said gray eyes wide open in shock as he stopped in his tracks.

"Scary, I'm out," Brian said backing up before Liam started back out from his room.

"What's wrong with the three of you?" Liam asked, giving his new friends an odd look.

"Your dorm is scary as a bitch," Michael said as he tried to calm his face.

"Pussy," Liam said under his breath as he pulled the three stunned boys out of his common dorm and back toward the elevators. "Let's just get some food, there's pizza place two blocks over that I went to a few time last year."

The other three boys fell out of their stupors as the thought of food passed through their minds, reminding them why they'd left the safety of their cell and saw the fright of Liam's. On the elevator, all three boys form blue let out breaths so hard, Liam's hair moved, a lot.

"Damn you guys are pussies," he said running his hands through his hair, putting it back in place.

"Shut up, Liam," Ronnie said smoothing his hair as the door opened on the second floor, Pailu came entered the large space, totting two other boys, also from green. They were also going out to lunch, so they decided to go in a big group and then return to Duzel Hall to eat.

The group of boys walked down the block, waving to other students they knew, inviting more people, girls now, to come back with them. By the time Liam, Michael, Brian and Ronnie made it back to blue, they had Pai, Greg and Vic from green in tow, and a group of girls Ronnie knew were also going up with them.

Back in blue, Kirk had come out from his funk and now sat playing fighting games against another boy who introduced to them as Adrian Scott, also known as Ryan. The large group of girls and boys hung out and partied all after noon, and late into the evening.

Around one the next morning, Brian and Ronnie were elected to go on another food run, so they left Duzel Hall with money in hand, and got into Ronnie's blue-black 2003 Liger and drove to a store for food. In the car Brian slumped against the leather upholstery sighing.

Ronnie looked over at his roommate, concerned, "Hey, Brian, what's wrong?"

"Hnn?" Brian asked looking at Ronnie through half lidded eyes, "Nothing, just a little tired from moving in staying up till one drinkin', y'know."

"I know just what you mean," Ronnie said running his hand through his free hair as they waited at a red light in silence. "Hey, can you go into the glove compartment to find me something to tie up my hair?" he asked as the light turned green and he pulled away.

"No prob," Brian replied digging through the glove box looking for a ribbon or scrunchie for his friend. "Found one," he said sitting up as Ronnie pulled into a 24hour grocer.

"Thanks dude," he replied pulling most of his bright hair out of his eyes with the scrunchie Brian had found. "Lets go, maybe we can get them drunk and they'll pass out."

"Don't life my spirits, you cruel, cruel boy," Brian joked as they started filling a shopping cart with chips beer and frozen pizzas. Paying for their food, the two returned to see what kind of mess their common room was in.

Back in the common room the boys saw that in their twenty minutes gone, the group had grown. There were another four girls there, and the other three boys from a different all altogether who hadn't been there earlier in the day. They two sighed as their dreams of getting any sleep before the sun rose were smashed. Steeling themselves, they walked back into the ruckus and presented the food with cheers.


Brian opened his eyes again, this time because Ronnie was there in the bed with him, sitting him across his lap to wake him to get something into him so he could take some medicine.

"So, do you think you slept long enough?" Ronnie asked, his red hair framing his face as Brian's green eyes focused on his face. "Your fevers gone down, but I don't think it's gone yet, I'll call Ryan and have him make some soup for you, that should help."

"Neh," Brian said reaching out and grabbing the bottom of Ronnie's shirt so keep the younger boy form leaving. "Don't go, stay with me."

Ronnie's gray eyes looked into Brian's green eyes, seeing the longing for comfort there, and returned to the bed, he sat back down on the bed and held his friend, petting his head again, like he had before. Brian relaxed back against Ronnie again, smelling his personal smell, a combination of his spice cologne and natural smells that reminded Brian of autumn and woods. Smiling Brian looked toward Ronnie's bright red clock to see it was already 7 that evening. Looking back up at Ronnie's face, Brian reached up a had to gently pass his hand over his roommates cheek, startling the other boy, who opened his eyes in surprise at the touch. Ronnie smiled down at the boy in his lap before gently kissing him on the lips, just a soft touch of their lips causing Brian pressed his lips back, just as gently telling his roommate that the feeling was mutual, that he loved him too.

======

Long ass chapter, be happy. The next chapter is going to be from Ronnie's point of view, possibly of the day these two met, possible of another time they were together. I hope you enjoy this story that I worked so hard to write. A lot extra characters were introduced here, most with names will be floating back in later chapters, for one reason or another. If nothing happens in the next chapter, I'll try to get something into the third chapter, please be patient, something will happen to make it worthy of this rating and this site. Thanks to everybody who has visited, and reviewed.
D.I.

---
Jasmine P.