Hmm, it's been a long time since I posted anything over here, I've had thoughts in my head and I want to share them.
I recently posted a piece of fan/gift art on my art blog and it reminded me why i don't do that. I love making fan art i just never want to get attention for that being my thing, it's not, i create original content and sometimes I illustrate an idea that I really latch on to. It was actually deviantArt that drove me away from making fan art. There were really shitty artists getting a lot of attention because all they did was produce popular things. Whatever the hit anime, movie or hot person they drew that and raked in commissions and attention for not being creative.
fuck that shit.
I guess i should be proud of my personal integrity for not just creating pop art but at the same time I want my work to be noticed more. I know I'm not bad i just feel like sometimes i need the validation from the webcomic art community that I'm good at what i do. I don't draw heroes, I draw real people and cartoony situations. I draw me. I wonder if any of this will get better when I have a website that's either my name or for my comic and if I actually post consistently. I really haven't been able to just focus on my own art work because of school and other obligations (mostly school) so will that change an improve when I graduate and the only other thing i'm doing is working some shitty job or three to pay rent and eat.
I don't fucking know.
My other thoughts have been on my current anxiety, not too much depression. i still don't know how to deal with anxiety or how I feel about myself because I don't know how I feel about myself. I spend as much time as I can trying not to think about my feelings and that I really don't know. i kind of feel listless and like I'm not accomplishing anything. i'm not really. I mean, I guess I am, i'm getting a degree and I'm in college but outside of that, i'm doing nothing in the real world.
i think i'm going to just go home and eat something I'm hungry.
In writing this and a few other things today i've come to the realization i'm not writing or really working with words enough. My past week has been weird and I don't know what to do to fix it, so that means I'm feeling depression or something. Fuck i'm hungry. Also, i've always only used the right shift key and something is wrong with it, either a ball of hair under the key or something else obstructing it, it's really not an excuse to not go back and fix my capitals it's just annoying. so there. i know i'm hitting it, or maybe i'm just not holding it long enough when i go to strike the letter. ehh...i'm leaving now.
P.
Showing posts with label art. Show all posts
Showing posts with label art. Show all posts
July 5, 2012
July 6, 2011
Intelligent Artists?
Firstly, I'm far from saying that artists aren't intelligent, I mean we take ownership over mother fucking Leonardo da Vinci. Hell, I think I heard more often he was an artist than a scientist, musician, anatomist, geologist, inventor, cartographer, writer or botanist. What I'm asking is why do people who call themselves 'artists' knock the rest of their intelligence?
My 'facts' for this 3:00am rant-essay, ransay, ranssay, essant? Essant. My 'facts' for this essant come from my classes. I've heard time and time again that 'writing is hard'. Why? Why do people who prefer to create visually automatically discount their ability to think critically? Why does it seem to be a given that just because you create that you can't question the world around you? We can critique one another and fine our faults with various eras of art history, but why do people who call themselves 'art majors' think that they can't write? Why is thinking analytically magically not something that contemporary art students think they can't do, or is that just at my school?
Looking into art history Michelangelo di Lodovico Buonarroti Simoni (the Ninja Turtle) was an engineer, poet, architect, painter and sculptor. Zhang Heng was a scholar of hiatory, poetry, philosophy, mathematics, cartography, geography and an artist. Mikhail Vasilyevich Lomonosov was a scientist, artist, studied optics, philology and mineralogy. Thomas Jefferson was a musician, lawyer architect, naturalist, botanist and inventor. These people created and studied the sciences, why can't modern artist be analytical in ways other than creating?
I ask this because, yes, I did start college by taking biology courses, biology makes sense to me. Writing is easy, I mean look at the essants I have on this blog, they may be typo ridden, but every now and again I have a poetic turn of phrase or an interesting way to re-express an idea. It's disparaging enough as a creative who has a weird combination of vanity and low self-esteem in relation to the things I create, but I rarely doubt my true intelligence or the things I can do. I fear failing so I don't always want to go out on a limb, but I have a ton of passive-aggressive issues which still don't excuse why I haven't been more out going. I know I can write, I have few problems with writing or knowing how to write and put together a more or less cohesive idea. I think it discouraging when I hear from faculty that they don't expect their art students to be able to write.
Words are power. Having an average or even moderately above average grasp of language can help your argument, it can never hurt your argument because if you can think up you know enough below it to talk to anyone. Then there's the issue of knowing when to exercise one word or another, but that's being sociable and knowing how to read people. Having a strong grasp of vocabulary as someone who creates things and put them out for the world to see and critique is important because you have better ways to explain yourself when it comes time to hear from the artist.
I don't think that faculty should accept substandard writing from art majors. Why should someone who can throw some crap together as a sculpture, or mix some pigments together on a canvas get a pass at things outside of their educational focus? I find aspects of education to be incredibly irritating, but that doesn't mean it's a bad thing for me to try to learn something new, to push my boundaries. I have few classes I honestly didn't enjoy. I understand biology and find it to be incredible fascinating. Plants are amazing machines this planet takes for granted. Philosophy and sociology are great at finding other ways to convey a complex concept in words of iconography. History is the story of the winner, but digging deeper or to the side you can find the losers and the people stepped on in the annals of history, these give a more human connection to things that seem to have just been a government lead period of time. English and language courses give you the words, the opportunity, to connect with more people. With the little bit of Spanish I was taught (notice I said taught and not learned) I learned a bit about a different culture. How a language is used in different countries, how honorifics or person change to be respectful help me to consider different things when I'm out in the world. I may use a rude tense in Spanish every now and again, but I'll apologize because I realize I used the wrong one and cannot remember the correct one.
Having an art only education is faulty and not expecting students to know anything outside of what they want to do with their lives is a pitfall in our society. Yes, sometimes I do just want to take studio classes, get my degree and be done with school, but I am grateful for all of my classes. Having my thoughts and ideas challenged, strengthening my lexicon so I'm a more verbose person has been a good thing. I think that students in the arts should spend more time writing, looking up more words and understanding how to make language their bitch because a painting can sometimes only go so far. Words are an easy sign of intelligence, by not accepting this, you're putting you into a smaller box, making it more difficult for your point to get across.
Artists, don't fear words, make them your friends. Don't fear questioning the world around you. You're doing it already, why else would Duchamp turn a urinal on it's side, or Picasso affix handle bars to a bike seat? These are their ways of challenging convention and what people think the world should be. The Surrealists questioned perception of the world and contorted it, in their own way they were analyzing the world that could be. Every piece you make is a way of questioning the world around you, you just need to accept this and accept that you are being analytical, even if you think not.
Scientists study the world we've been given and share what they understand. Artists study the world we've been given and pus that idea further by questioning why it isn't different from what we have and show their results. Both study the world.
Jasmine P.
My 'facts' for this 3:00am rant-essay, ransay, ranssay, essant? Essant. My 'facts' for this essant come from my classes. I've heard time and time again that 'writing is hard'. Why? Why do people who prefer to create visually automatically discount their ability to think critically? Why does it seem to be a given that just because you create that you can't question the world around you? We can critique one another and fine our faults with various eras of art history, but why do people who call themselves 'art majors' think that they can't write? Why is thinking analytically magically not something that contemporary art students think they can't do, or is that just at my school?
Looking into art history Michelangelo di Lodovico Buonarroti Simoni (the Ninja Turtle) was an engineer, poet, architect, painter and sculptor. Zhang Heng was a scholar of hiatory, poetry, philosophy, mathematics, cartography, geography and an artist. Mikhail Vasilyevich Lomonosov was a scientist, artist, studied optics, philology and mineralogy. Thomas Jefferson was a musician, lawyer architect, naturalist, botanist and inventor. These people created and studied the sciences, why can't modern artist be analytical in ways other than creating?
I ask this because, yes, I did start college by taking biology courses, biology makes sense to me. Writing is easy, I mean look at the essants I have on this blog, they may be typo ridden, but every now and again I have a poetic turn of phrase or an interesting way to re-express an idea. It's disparaging enough as a creative who has a weird combination of vanity and low self-esteem in relation to the things I create, but I rarely doubt my true intelligence or the things I can do. I fear failing so I don't always want to go out on a limb, but I have a ton of passive-aggressive issues which still don't excuse why I haven't been more out going. I know I can write, I have few problems with writing or knowing how to write and put together a more or less cohesive idea. I think it discouraging when I hear from faculty that they don't expect their art students to be able to write.
Words are power. Having an average or even moderately above average grasp of language can help your argument, it can never hurt your argument because if you can think up you know enough below it to talk to anyone. Then there's the issue of knowing when to exercise one word or another, but that's being sociable and knowing how to read people. Having a strong grasp of vocabulary as someone who creates things and put them out for the world to see and critique is important because you have better ways to explain yourself when it comes time to hear from the artist.
I don't think that faculty should accept substandard writing from art majors. Why should someone who can throw some crap together as a sculpture, or mix some pigments together on a canvas get a pass at things outside of their educational focus? I find aspects of education to be incredibly irritating, but that doesn't mean it's a bad thing for me to try to learn something new, to push my boundaries. I have few classes I honestly didn't enjoy. I understand biology and find it to be incredible fascinating. Plants are amazing machines this planet takes for granted. Philosophy and sociology are great at finding other ways to convey a complex concept in words of iconography. History is the story of the winner, but digging deeper or to the side you can find the losers and the people stepped on in the annals of history, these give a more human connection to things that seem to have just been a government lead period of time. English and language courses give you the words, the opportunity, to connect with more people. With the little bit of Spanish I was taught (notice I said taught and not learned) I learned a bit about a different culture. How a language is used in different countries, how honorifics or person change to be respectful help me to consider different things when I'm out in the world. I may use a rude tense in Spanish every now and again, but I'll apologize because I realize I used the wrong one and cannot remember the correct one.
Having an art only education is faulty and not expecting students to know anything outside of what they want to do with their lives is a pitfall in our society. Yes, sometimes I do just want to take studio classes, get my degree and be done with school, but I am grateful for all of my classes. Having my thoughts and ideas challenged, strengthening my lexicon so I'm a more verbose person has been a good thing. I think that students in the arts should spend more time writing, looking up more words and understanding how to make language their bitch because a painting can sometimes only go so far. Words are an easy sign of intelligence, by not accepting this, you're putting you into a smaller box, making it more difficult for your point to get across.
Artists, don't fear words, make them your friends. Don't fear questioning the world around you. You're doing it already, why else would Duchamp turn a urinal on it's side, or Picasso affix handle bars to a bike seat? These are their ways of challenging convention and what people think the world should be. The Surrealists questioned perception of the world and contorted it, in their own way they were analyzing the world that could be. Every piece you make is a way of questioning the world around you, you just need to accept this and accept that you are being analytical, even if you think not.
Scientists study the world we've been given and share what they understand. Artists study the world we've been given and pus that idea further by questioning why it isn't different from what we have and show their results. Both study the world.
Jasmine P.
December 7, 2010
Networking and Opportunity Knocking
I have always considered myself to be someone who's not memorable and I think that I fly under the radar, but I've apparently made a mark on a few people. From being in my one class, Rhetoric of the Graphic Novel I have made three opportunities to not languish in obscurity. I have a foundation for making a name of myself and it's terrifying. I want to run away, but this is what I want for my life.
First opportunity is to get a comic going in a few university newspapers, I've been lazy about that, putting it behind my journal comic, which has not been the smartest thing, but I was afraid of success and how much time it would detract from my ideas.
My second opportunity is in general talking comic art and working with someone. Getting him started and being someone he can ask for help and advice and possible collaborate on something.
My third opportunity is the one that's really freaking me out, there's a dude in my class who's trying to start being a small press publisher, and I could use his publishing house to print my comics. It seems overwhelming to have so many opportunities all from one class.
I have an older opportunity to draw and sell an art book for a local business I frequent. All of these feed and support each other. I know college is where these things happen, it's just shocking to think of it happening to me. I need to really get serious about my comic work and progress and finish things. I have a million ideas and now I have so many opportunities to really get somewhere with it all that I'm freaking out.
An opportunity I instigated in my journal comic and drawing bands. I went to a concert this past weekend and sketched out the bands and performers, I'm planning on doing nice ink and wash images for the bands. This is a door I'm opening myself to get my art out there. I plan on sending scans of the images to a local paper to put them up online and to also gt my work out there. I'm planning on taking commissions and getting my work out there, if these bands like these little pieces, I'm imagining what it would be like to make much larger, much nicer pieces but as commissions and not just these little sketches.
I wonder how many successful people wanted to run away. I bet they were all equally terrified about where things were headed. The difference is they didn't run away, so I need to keep from running and accept and work toward what I imagine. I'm terrified of my imagination becoming a reality, I don't know if I'm ready for it yet. I have to have myself ready at some point and now is as good as ever. I started on this road and I don't want to diverge from it. This is what I need to prove to my family that my art work will get me somewhere. I start small, I start local and I will have to work to get what I imagine. I make myself into a local legend, a local name, then I take on the rest of the small press community one event, one book, one image at a time.
Jasmine P.
First opportunity is to get a comic going in a few university newspapers, I've been lazy about that, putting it behind my journal comic, which has not been the smartest thing, but I was afraid of success and how much time it would detract from my ideas.
My second opportunity is in general talking comic art and working with someone. Getting him started and being someone he can ask for help and advice and possible collaborate on something.
My third opportunity is the one that's really freaking me out, there's a dude in my class who's trying to start being a small press publisher, and I could use his publishing house to print my comics. It seems overwhelming to have so many opportunities all from one class.
I have an older opportunity to draw and sell an art book for a local business I frequent. All of these feed and support each other. I know college is where these things happen, it's just shocking to think of it happening to me. I need to really get serious about my comic work and progress and finish things. I have a million ideas and now I have so many opportunities to really get somewhere with it all that I'm freaking out.
An opportunity I instigated in my journal comic and drawing bands. I went to a concert this past weekend and sketched out the bands and performers, I'm planning on doing nice ink and wash images for the bands. This is a door I'm opening myself to get my art out there. I plan on sending scans of the images to a local paper to put them up online and to also gt my work out there. I'm planning on taking commissions and getting my work out there, if these bands like these little pieces, I'm imagining what it would be like to make much larger, much nicer pieces but as commissions and not just these little sketches.
I wonder how many successful people wanted to run away. I bet they were all equally terrified about where things were headed. The difference is they didn't run away, so I need to keep from running and accept and work toward what I imagine. I'm terrified of my imagination becoming a reality, I don't know if I'm ready for it yet. I have to have myself ready at some point and now is as good as ever. I started on this road and I don't want to diverge from it. This is what I need to prove to my family that my art work will get me somewhere. I start small, I start local and I will have to work to get what I imagine. I make myself into a local legend, a local name, then I take on the rest of the small press community one event, one book, one image at a time.
Jasmine P.
September 16, 2010
Complexity of an Art Degree
Every fucking time I have a friend or family tell me that art is an 'easy' degree I want to slap them in the face. For many reading this it's preaching to the preacher but to continue trying to make it on my own or with a tiny group of friends is not easy. I'm not trying to work for a big company, I have my own stories and ideas that are bursting to be released. I'm like a zombie but instead of craving brains and entrails I crave time and paper because I always have ideas. I have ideas I think I can sell, I have ideas that I think people will buy and I have skill and talent, and it's hard. I always want to draw, but I'm always up for social engagements, take tonight for instance: I have my journal comic that I need to continue inking and preparing to upload. I have pages I need to go back to and refine and I need to rescan everything I've scanned/posted so far because days didn't have full shading, but I went to listen to Christian Lander speak instead. Dude was funny and it was a good evening, but I didn't work on my comic. I need it get off the ground so I can start selling my fiction and not just my reality.
What makes art so difficult is that even as I'm laying on my be typing this my fingers are itching to pick up a pencil and draw something, ink something create something anything and I have a million other things I need or want to be working on first. I have offers left and right to create things to sell, which I need to get going on before I forget for one thing, and I have other offers to get my name out there and be published once again in my college newspaper. I want to drop out of college so I can devote more time to comics, but I don't have the money for that. I want to take out a hypothetical loan on my future for now, I'm not going to because there are things I want to improve while I'm in this environment to find ways to make things better. I'm working at getting more of my work known and out places. And art degree is serious and difficult business because of the market. The work isn't especially 'hard' because you're selling what you can do, but it's harder then other jobs because every project is tailor made for whoever you're selling things to or creating things for. I'm taking everything I'm learning now, flipping it on it's head to make it all work for me.
In doing all this I talk big. People tell me I sound like I know what I'm doing. I don't, I'm fucking terrified. I'm afraid that I'm going to have to move home, that I'm going to fail and I'll just keep dreaming that I made it in comics and sequential art. I'm also terrified that I'll succeed, I'll make comics that people like, I'll have fans and people will want to buy every stupid thing I draw. I also fear staying in the middle, being known to a handful of people and selling some things, but spending most of my time in some horrible office job were people didn't know I spent my night and weekends creating comics and my life ever got better.
These ideas keep me from picking up a pen and being jealous of everyone who has made it. It also inspires me to grab hold of a pen even sooner so I can prove my worth and get my foot in the door. I want to be known, but I'm afraid of what I have to do to get to that point. That time comes every night where I have to buckle down and get things drawn, it's time for me to work on my journal comic, I've put off doing more than a few pieces of spot shading for a about a week and I need to be prepared to spend Monday scanning and prepping more pages. I can make it, I'm not so afraid and my work is good enough. People will want to buy my pieces and I won't be too afraid to sell them.
Jasmine P.
What makes art so difficult is that even as I'm laying on my be typing this my fingers are itching to pick up a pencil and draw something, ink something create something anything and I have a million other things I need or want to be working on first. I have offers left and right to create things to sell, which I need to get going on before I forget for one thing, and I have other offers to get my name out there and be published once again in my college newspaper. I want to drop out of college so I can devote more time to comics, but I don't have the money for that. I want to take out a hypothetical loan on my future for now, I'm not going to because there are things I want to improve while I'm in this environment to find ways to make things better. I'm working at getting more of my work known and out places. And art degree is serious and difficult business because of the market. The work isn't especially 'hard' because you're selling what you can do, but it's harder then other jobs because every project is tailor made for whoever you're selling things to or creating things for. I'm taking everything I'm learning now, flipping it on it's head to make it all work for me.
In doing all this I talk big. People tell me I sound like I know what I'm doing. I don't, I'm fucking terrified. I'm afraid that I'm going to have to move home, that I'm going to fail and I'll just keep dreaming that I made it in comics and sequential art. I'm also terrified that I'll succeed, I'll make comics that people like, I'll have fans and people will want to buy every stupid thing I draw. I also fear staying in the middle, being known to a handful of people and selling some things, but spending most of my time in some horrible office job were people didn't know I spent my night and weekends creating comics and my life ever got better.
These ideas keep me from picking up a pen and being jealous of everyone who has made it. It also inspires me to grab hold of a pen even sooner so I can prove my worth and get my foot in the door. I want to be known, but I'm afraid of what I have to do to get to that point. That time comes every night where I have to buckle down and get things drawn, it's time for me to work on my journal comic, I've put off doing more than a few pieces of spot shading for a about a week and I need to be prepared to spend Monday scanning and prepping more pages. I can make it, I'm not so afraid and my work is good enough. People will want to buy my pieces and I won't be too afraid to sell them.
Jasmine P.
July 23, 2010
Self Esteem and Vanity
This is about my creative ability. I finished pieces and proudly show them to my friends, I love showing them work. The down side is that none of them draw so even the crappiest 15 second scribble gets as much love as a piece I'll slave over for hours. It's almost insulting and I have to explain why the 15 second doodle sucks, or why I don't like it. They just can't get it.
When I try to actually consider selling my work I balk. I freeze in my tracks. I can dream of selling my work, I can imagine and plan, but when it boils down to actually selling it, I want to run. I feel bad for charging my friends for my pieces and then there's charging them for some and not for others. Gifts, or random doodles that they decide they like I have no problem giving away. If I really like something I feel bad about trying to charge them. It's less that I'm trying to short change myself, it's more that because they're friends I feel weird, I feel bad about charging. I don't really want to do the 'friend discount' because I have a lot of friends and plenty of them might try talking my into discounting their friends.
See, I'm worrying about something 80 million steps down the road, I haven't even sold a piece and I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to deal with pricing. In the long run for actually pricing pieces I have to be fair and charge everyone the same, and then there's actually charging for a piece. Should I just charge based on the size of the piece and completion, or should I just charge by how long it takes me, with completion factored in. I don't want it to be arbitrary chosen with every piece I sell and if I sell something I did for me, but decide I need to sell, how to I price it then?
Tucked into all of this I've been offered an awesome opportunity, it's a cross between a commission and being allowed to just plain sell my work somewhere. I'm trying to figure out if how I'd end up making money would be fair. I also have to think about how much work I'm preparing, how long it would take and then how long it would be until I ultimately saw any sort of return. I want it to be fair for both me and the person who suggested this idea, but I'm trying to figure out the likely hood of my making anything from this project. I just about have to figure out ten things concurrently before I even get to work on this project, and in my mind I want it ready for next fall to sell. But based off it's sales I could have a relatively simple series to get going. I dunno, I'll hint at more information when I have more figured out. Buuu.
So, another project that I addressed a few weeks ago on Twitter was for a small published comic. In my mind it's regular comic sized, anywhere from 10-20 pages. I want that to have two short stories, I have one sketched that a friend has agreed to review for me before I actually draw the pages for publication. I don't have much more than fleeting thoughts for the second story. They'd be non-sequiturs, but I want the print to be worth it for whoever buys it so I figured two black and white stories comic book sized and only about $5 would be fair. Two people said they'd be interested in it, which was a friggin' ego boost, especially because this story would only be available offline, meaning it's not being posted on blogger, or on deviantart. It would be offline only. It would be a hard sale because the stories are so short I can't preview more than a few sketches or pin-ups online without telling more of the story than I want to online. And I would try selling the books online and see if my comic shop would be able to sell them. This would be an even smaller printing because it would be all paid for by me, but I feel as if I have to try. I love the first story, and it's incredibly open to interpretation and I think I would damn near die if I saw it published. I want the second story to be more concrete but equally engaging, I just need to figure it out. I was also thinking about adding one or two sketches or tiny tiny versions of the original sketches as special pages. Not too sure or set in anything yet. That I want for this winter, but unless I get the second story written/drawn it's going to have to wait until next summer or later.
This is all what's been going through my head, it's something I've been thinking over and fretting about. In my mind I see myself selling books or having people see me in the coffee shop selling one of these books and ask for a sketch or something and truly liking my work. I love my friends but I don't always feel as if I can trust their opinions about my work, I don't want them to say something is good because I made it, I want them to say something if good because it honestly is. It's weird, I seem as if the only people I can trust for this are faculty, they'd be supportive and would give me encouragement, but I also feel as if I can trust their critical eye to point out faults that I can work on. I feel as if I can get an honest opinion that I should try to sell my work, but also be told in a friendly way what needs to be improved upon. I feel as if they could ask the right questions.
I think I fear succeeding. I think I want to ask my teachers their opinions because they're not just going to tell me something is good. I also want to ask them because they have the ability to draw, they're creatives so there's in a way weight to what they'd have to tell me. I feel bad not wanting to accept my friends' opinions but I know they don't want to hurt me. It's an odd form of trust and not trusting people it seems.
If you look over these past two situation you'll see me proudly thinking of my art as sellable then turning before I get too far into the clouds and beat me back to having low self esteem and no body wanting to buy my work. Selling things is like a friggin' fantasy, like flying like a bird with wings and not inside a plane. I keep bringing me back to reality, even though what I want is entirely attainable. What I wonder because of this type of thinking is, is this me being frightened by people not liking my work or am I equally afraid of succeeding and never thinking my work is good enough.
I consider showing my work to my friends me being vain. I love showing off, I love getting the attention. It's always weird and different, difficult for me to deal with people giving me attention that I didn't command. When I take people's attention and force them to focus on me, that's one thing. When people invite their attention I feel like I'm inadequate of receiving it. [Holy fuck, I think I just realized something about something going on right now. Will think about and address later, maybe...] Maybe that's why I fear selling my work. Now to get to believing my friends when they tell me my work is good. Seriously, when people tell me my writing or my art are good I don't really believe them. In my creative writing class I was told my poetry was really good, I don't understand why I didn't like any of it. But another time, another friend, told me a blog was well written, I considered it to be more of a rant than anything impressive or well done. I mean, I understand and I know I can write well, I don't think it's impressive. I consider my abilities and skill to be normal, I don't feel as if I work all that hard to accomplish something. I mean, I rarely give these more than a typo skim, if even that, and I post them. I am now circling back to my blog from a few weeks ago about being intelligent and knowing I'm intelligent. Two radically different ideas.
Well cheers! I hope you enjoyed me fretting about my drawing ability and fear of selling work. I'm going to clean the apartment a bit, and maybe write some ideas I've had for the movie blog I've had since yesterday.
Jasmine P.
When I try to actually consider selling my work I balk. I freeze in my tracks. I can dream of selling my work, I can imagine and plan, but when it boils down to actually selling it, I want to run. I feel bad for charging my friends for my pieces and then there's charging them for some and not for others. Gifts, or random doodles that they decide they like I have no problem giving away. If I really like something I feel bad about trying to charge them. It's less that I'm trying to short change myself, it's more that because they're friends I feel weird, I feel bad about charging. I don't really want to do the 'friend discount' because I have a lot of friends and plenty of them might try talking my into discounting their friends.
See, I'm worrying about something 80 million steps down the road, I haven't even sold a piece and I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to deal with pricing. In the long run for actually pricing pieces I have to be fair and charge everyone the same, and then there's actually charging for a piece. Should I just charge based on the size of the piece and completion, or should I just charge by how long it takes me, with completion factored in. I don't want it to be arbitrary chosen with every piece I sell and if I sell something I did for me, but decide I need to sell, how to I price it then?
Tucked into all of this I've been offered an awesome opportunity, it's a cross between a commission and being allowed to just plain sell my work somewhere. I'm trying to figure out if how I'd end up making money would be fair. I also have to think about how much work I'm preparing, how long it would take and then how long it would be until I ultimately saw any sort of return. I want it to be fair for both me and the person who suggested this idea, but I'm trying to figure out the likely hood of my making anything from this project. I just about have to figure out ten things concurrently before I even get to work on this project, and in my mind I want it ready for next fall to sell. But based off it's sales I could have a relatively simple series to get going. I dunno, I'll hint at more information when I have more figured out. Buuu.
So, another project that I addressed a few weeks ago on Twitter was for a small published comic. In my mind it's regular comic sized, anywhere from 10-20 pages. I want that to have two short stories, I have one sketched that a friend has agreed to review for me before I actually draw the pages for publication. I don't have much more than fleeting thoughts for the second story. They'd be non-sequiturs, but I want the print to be worth it for whoever buys it so I figured two black and white stories comic book sized and only about $5 would be fair. Two people said they'd be interested in it, which was a friggin' ego boost, especially because this story would only be available offline, meaning it's not being posted on blogger, or on deviantart. It would be offline only. It would be a hard sale because the stories are so short I can't preview more than a few sketches or pin-ups online without telling more of the story than I want to online. And I would try selling the books online and see if my comic shop would be able to sell them. This would be an even smaller printing because it would be all paid for by me, but I feel as if I have to try. I love the first story, and it's incredibly open to interpretation and I think I would damn near die if I saw it published. I want the second story to be more concrete but equally engaging, I just need to figure it out. I was also thinking about adding one or two sketches or tiny tiny versions of the original sketches as special pages. Not too sure or set in anything yet. That I want for this winter, but unless I get the second story written/drawn it's going to have to wait until next summer or later.
This is all what's been going through my head, it's something I've been thinking over and fretting about. In my mind I see myself selling books or having people see me in the coffee shop selling one of these books and ask for a sketch or something and truly liking my work. I love my friends but I don't always feel as if I can trust their opinions about my work, I don't want them to say something is good because I made it, I want them to say something if good because it honestly is. It's weird, I seem as if the only people I can trust for this are faculty, they'd be supportive and would give me encouragement, but I also feel as if I can trust their critical eye to point out faults that I can work on. I feel as if I can get an honest opinion that I should try to sell my work, but also be told in a friendly way what needs to be improved upon. I feel as if they could ask the right questions.
I think I fear succeeding. I think I want to ask my teachers their opinions because they're not just going to tell me something is good. I also want to ask them because they have the ability to draw, they're creatives so there's in a way weight to what they'd have to tell me. I feel bad not wanting to accept my friends' opinions but I know they don't want to hurt me. It's an odd form of trust and not trusting people it seems.
If you look over these past two situation you'll see me proudly thinking of my art as sellable then turning before I get too far into the clouds and beat me back to having low self esteem and no body wanting to buy my work. Selling things is like a friggin' fantasy, like flying like a bird with wings and not inside a plane. I keep bringing me back to reality, even though what I want is entirely attainable. What I wonder because of this type of thinking is, is this me being frightened by people not liking my work or am I equally afraid of succeeding and never thinking my work is good enough.
I consider showing my work to my friends me being vain. I love showing off, I love getting the attention. It's always weird and different, difficult for me to deal with people giving me attention that I didn't command. When I take people's attention and force them to focus on me, that's one thing. When people invite their attention I feel like I'm inadequate of receiving it. [Holy fuck, I think I just realized something about something going on right now. Will think about and address later, maybe...] Maybe that's why I fear selling my work. Now to get to believing my friends when they tell me my work is good. Seriously, when people tell me my writing or my art are good I don't really believe them. In my creative writing class I was told my poetry was really good, I don't understand why I didn't like any of it. But another time, another friend, told me a blog was well written, I considered it to be more of a rant than anything impressive or well done. I mean, I understand and I know I can write well, I don't think it's impressive. I consider my abilities and skill to be normal, I don't feel as if I work all that hard to accomplish something. I mean, I rarely give these more than a typo skim, if even that, and I post them. I am now circling back to my blog from a few weeks ago about being intelligent and knowing I'm intelligent. Two radically different ideas.
Well cheers! I hope you enjoyed me fretting about my drawing ability and fear of selling work. I'm going to clean the apartment a bit, and maybe write some ideas I've had for the movie blog I've had since yesterday.
Jasmine P.
July 17, 2008
Displaying my Art
While washing some dishes and playing my usual game of 'If I I Meet A Celebrity, I'll Ask Them These Questions' I was explaining why I was curious for 'one of the harder parts you did in your opinion' instead of 'what is the hardest part you've ever played' because trying to define something as a 'hardest' of any extreme is not easy, and it's not something I condone because verything has it's own difficulties and eases.
I was explaining my wording and relating it to pieces I do. There are things I dislike about most everything I do, and no matter how many things I dislike, there's usually some little thing I like about a piece I've done. And That got me to thinking about why I show people my art.
I don't show people my art to be told 'it's great' because most of my friends are not artists. They think damn near every doodle, every sketch, every finished piece is amazing. I sure as hell don't, not for my art, or anyone else. There are aspects I like. But what I had gotten around to thinking was I show people my art for their reactions. Their responses, questions, understanding, acceptance, confusion. I'm not digging for compliments. I'm digging for responses that I can file away. There are people whom I show my work who most often respond with 'that's nice, but why are you showing me this?' it gives me the chance to explain something I've created, in turn explaining myself, but it gets me away from the 'yes men' who think it's amazing that I an hold a pencil, a pen, anything in such a fashion that I am able to make something out of it.
My line of questioning is more on the aspects of a film, of a project and working on it more so than a laundry list of favorite, least favorite parts. My questioning gave me the 'why' What was a hard aspect of a part? Why? What is something about a past performance you'd want to change? That damn near gives me the 'why' without having to ask it. This question is also fun because actors always want to change and improve a performance, but can't. I think it'd be fun to hear about some of the things they wish to change about their performances, or parts they disliked and wish they hadn't done, or any myriad of things. My list of questions goes on and is probably terribly redundant after a while.
~~~
Part of what got me thinking about this was reading 'A Guide TRYS' the book that inspired the movie. It's interesting to see that Dito didn't so much as write about himself whereas he wrote more about the people around him and his interaction with them, which at the same time says a lot about himself. He's not vain and he loved the people he was around. A Guide is also great because of how it's written. It's not one long narrative, it's written more like how he'd be telling the story to someone else. There are interjections about how a past event made him feel and so forth. That makes it interesting. And the chapters aren't terribly long. It's just about one chapter per interaction. 'Tag' was one chapter, but it was about general tag games, and one special tag game. Nothing's really in chronological order which also makes it interesting to read as time just around.
Reading this was making me think of the movie and commentary with how Dito kind of let the actors do what they would and how things worked. I remember hearing RDJ talking about filming the movie with Dito and how only Dito would make a movie with five acts. Or from Dito talking about how he had the actors really go at it in a scene, like the scene where Young Dito was being beaten up by the Reaper, he told the actors to really wail on LaBeouf for the scene. Or in the retaliation when Antonio attacked the Reaper, Dito told him to hit him as hard as he could upside the back of the head with the prop bat. It made me think about difficulties that actors have with some directors, but also how different directors tackle a movie, or people who aren't 'trained' as directors but become directors.
Did I mention a spoiler warning? Too late.
My point in bringing in Dito's directing style is that letting the actors give everything they could as they saw necessary, as they felt the characters felt gave them a real humanity and at the same time showed a real vulnerability int he actors. It would also prove to be more difficult for everyone involved because it wasn't the lack of directions the actors didn't have, it was showing so much of themselves in these characters. It was a different sort of challenge for the actors to go for it which made it's own difficulties. That lead me to my who thing about my own art because as I pose these questions in my head I give my responses for other people which have little bearing on what their responses would really be because I don't know more than what I've read online or gleamed from commentary or interviews.
Jasmine P.
I was explaining my wording and relating it to pieces I do. There are things I dislike about most everything I do, and no matter how many things I dislike, there's usually some little thing I like about a piece I've done. And That got me to thinking about why I show people my art.
I don't show people my art to be told 'it's great' because most of my friends are not artists. They think damn near every doodle, every sketch, every finished piece is amazing. I sure as hell don't, not for my art, or anyone else. There are aspects I like. But what I had gotten around to thinking was I show people my art for their reactions. Their responses, questions, understanding, acceptance, confusion. I'm not digging for compliments. I'm digging for responses that I can file away. There are people whom I show my work who most often respond with 'that's nice, but why are you showing me this?' it gives me the chance to explain something I've created, in turn explaining myself, but it gets me away from the 'yes men' who think it's amazing that I an hold a pencil, a pen, anything in such a fashion that I am able to make something out of it.
My line of questioning is more on the aspects of a film, of a project and working on it more so than a laundry list of favorite, least favorite parts. My questioning gave me the 'why' What was a hard aspect of a part? Why? What is something about a past performance you'd want to change? That damn near gives me the 'why' without having to ask it. This question is also fun because actors always want to change and improve a performance, but can't. I think it'd be fun to hear about some of the things they wish to change about their performances, or parts they disliked and wish they hadn't done, or any myriad of things. My list of questions goes on and is probably terribly redundant after a while.
~~~
Part of what got me thinking about this was reading 'A Guide TRYS' the book that inspired the movie. It's interesting to see that Dito didn't so much as write about himself whereas he wrote more about the people around him and his interaction with them, which at the same time says a lot about himself. He's not vain and he loved the people he was around. A Guide is also great because of how it's written. It's not one long narrative, it's written more like how he'd be telling the story to someone else. There are interjections about how a past event made him feel and so forth. That makes it interesting. And the chapters aren't terribly long. It's just about one chapter per interaction. 'Tag' was one chapter, but it was about general tag games, and one special tag game. Nothing's really in chronological order which also makes it interesting to read as time just around.
Reading this was making me think of the movie and commentary with how Dito kind of let the actors do what they would and how things worked. I remember hearing RDJ talking about filming the movie with Dito and how only Dito would make a movie with five acts. Or from Dito talking about how he had the actors really go at it in a scene, like the scene where Young Dito was being beaten up by the Reaper, he told the actors to really wail on LaBeouf for the scene. Or in the retaliation when Antonio attacked the Reaper, Dito told him to hit him as hard as he could upside the back of the head with the prop bat. It made me think about difficulties that actors have with some directors, but also how different directors tackle a movie, or people who aren't 'trained' as directors but become directors.
Did I mention a spoiler warning? Too late.
My point in bringing in Dito's directing style is that letting the actors give everything they could as they saw necessary, as they felt the characters felt gave them a real humanity and at the same time showed a real vulnerability int he actors. It would also prove to be more difficult for everyone involved because it wasn't the lack of directions the actors didn't have, it was showing so much of themselves in these characters. It was a different sort of challenge for the actors to go for it which made it's own difficulties. That lead me to my who thing about my own art because as I pose these questions in my head I give my responses for other people which have little bearing on what their responses would really be because I don't know more than what I've read online or gleamed from commentary or interviews.
Jasmine P.
June 2, 2008
Pure Friggin Sex!
After finishing Iron Man: Beneath The Armor and learning that Adi Granov designed the suit that the Mark 3 in the movie is based off of, and now finding his art online, all I can say is that it's all pure sex and full of awesome and amazing and I can't stare at it or drool enough. Timeto save some references, and some of these images are large enough to be wallpapers. Gold! Sex! Amazing! I'm in love with his art, And Phil Saunders did an amazing job transcribing Granov's style for the movie. Seeing how everything is put together and comes apart is something that's I've wanted to see, and I think this knowledge will help in my my future pursuits of designing my own red-and-gold. I mostly want to just try my hand at it, since it's not really in my realm of style and design this is going to be pretty damn tricky, but I do like my head and mask designs that I've doodled out so far, so from here is the rest of the body. I might just have to do this in parts, try turn arounds for the parts then see what I can do from there. I also think I might try asking Saunders for his advice or tips for drawing such a technological suit.
Before I forget this, What I like about Adi's Armor is that it's not extra stream lined. There are part that come out, everything can not be contained within the outline. There is the muscle line, then there are the weapons that move outside of the outline. Everything for the most part is streamlined, but there is also a slew of gorgeous detail on everything that makes me want to touch the page to feel the texture. The grainy aspect that the suit has is also strong and excellent. It's not a smooth coloring, but a rough feeling of everything that is there. There is a tangible quality to the images that I can't get enough of.
Now, after that milieu of praise for Adi's designs and Phil's recreations, here are some links for future reference of all that is awesome ...in relation to this post.
http://conceptart.org/forums/showthread.php?p=1756452
http://conceptart.org/forums/showthread.php?t=124921
http://philsaunders.blogspot.com/
Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.
Before I forget this, What I like about Adi's Armor is that it's not extra stream lined. There are part that come out, everything can not be contained within the outline. There is the muscle line, then there are the weapons that move outside of the outline. Everything for the most part is streamlined, but there is also a slew of gorgeous detail on everything that makes me want to touch the page to feel the texture. The grainy aspect that the suit has is also strong and excellent. It's not a smooth coloring, but a rough feeling of everything that is there. There is a tangible quality to the images that I can't get enough of.
Now, after that milieu of praise for Adi's designs and Phil's recreations, here are some links for future reference of all that is awesome ...in relation to this post.
http://conceptart.org/forums/showthread.php?p=1756452
http://conceptart.org/forums/showthread.php?t=124921
http://philsaunders.blogspot.com/
Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.
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