English Mid-Term Story

So, a few months back in either mid/late October or early November we wrote our English mid-term papers. I was amused by it when I wrote it and I've wanted to write it up for a while, but I remembered that we're supposed to turn them in later. This was supposed to be funny and somewhat satirical so this will be on the silly side. Minor edits for sensibility...or because I have no friggin' clue what I wrote.

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Choosing a mate in a very simple process nowadays with all the technology and socitial advancements that mave been made since the dawn of time. Insteas of shows of brute force and physical prowess nowadays people want the finer things in life: comfort, money, electronics, faster cars and [demonstrations] of technological prowess.

When searching for a mate, a club is a an easy way to find someone just [as] desperate as you are. They spend hours getting dressed to the nines, putting every hair into its place and they practice their mating calls to make sure they can attract the best mate. an example of one such mating call popular with the scientific crowd is 'If I were an enzyme, I'd want to be DNA [helicase] so I could unzip your genes' Calls of this variety are not always successful and can cause the caller to be violently rejected. As easy as it is to find a mate at a club, it is ill advised to stay with one of these sorts for too long because for as easy as it was to attract said mate, it is just as easy to lose said mate.

Another viable venue for finding a made is one from your own pack. Someone you know well who knows everyting about you so the whole 'getting to know you, getting to knoooow all about yooouuu' phase is already done. Awkward silences are a thing of the past in this sort of relationship because anything that may have halted a conversation has already been done and said and taken care of. The problem with choosing a mate from a group of friends is [that] if you break it off before or after jumping the broom stick there will be the awkward division of friends or worse yet running into your ex with a new mate.

Having an established common interest is a way to choose a successful mate. You could both be dog people; you with your terrier-collie mis and them with their pure breed all-American golden retriever. Your dogs hit it off one day one at first sniff. Strange, considering your terrier-collie id quick to bite, you start up a quick [rapport] with the trerievers owner and you two hit it off. Things are fine at first, you're a liberal, they're a conservative but you let bygones-be-bygones and move in together and all is fin until you find their retriever with the neighbor's Great Dane from next door, your terrier is all alone. [The] next strike is them with their secretary in your great-grandmothers marriage bed.

Th issues with choosing a mate today [is there is] so much more to consider, to take into account. Maybe a good old blind date is in order. You meet at a coffee shop, neutral territory, set up by your friends for the afternoon. While waiting for that special (unknown) someone to appear with a single red rose you see them appear with all the finesse and sexual prowess of a tiger. They slunk over disappearing in the crowd every second or two before shining once more as they clear their dully adorned surroundings. They have a bouquet instead of a single flower and then they greet your. Everything that made them so perfect [breaks] as you hear them speak with no grasp of the language they're speaking and teeth that look like they chewed through a long and that they brushed with pond scum.

Wow, who knew choosing a mate could be so hard! Maybe the days of fights for the win and possession were best. You're walking home with a bouquet of roses and a thundercloud over your head. You think all is lost when you finally see someone [fall] and you give them a hand and notice how adorable they are. Everything clicks so perfectly from seeing them simply trip over their own two shoes while trying to walk. You both laugh and the thundercloud seems to be blown away by the ray of sunshine emanating from their laugh.

Behind every cloud is a shining sun waiting to be seen.
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Hahaha, this still makes me laugh. Here ye be =D

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Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.