Two Sides of the Same Coin

Here is my reflection for the year. I don't give a fuck that there are 16 days left before the year is over, I'm in the right introspective mood, and I'm finally not bawling my friggin eyes out from being so depressed that i am out of control.

This year has been both the best and the fucking most god awful worst year of my life.

How this year has kicked ass. I graduated from high school this year. I got my driver's license, went to Otakon, and spent the majority of the summer hanging out with Alex and Nora. I left home and have finally been considered an adult in and of my own right. People older than me are not seeing me as 'Pat's Daughter' or 'Miguel and/or Dorien's Little Sister' or as 'Miguel's Daughter' [my father and brother are both named Miguel] I'm being seen as 'Jasmine, an intelligent young adult.' I live more or less under my own digression down at school. I'm in college! I met all my new college friends. I went out on a limb and tried something new, fencing.

What made this year the most suck of ever was my mother dying and not being able to see any of the above. What has also made this year full of suck was this years depression. It's been worse than before I think, but I've also had the means to better deal with it, for the most part.

~~

This past year I spent a lot of time with my mother before she died. I know the day I grew up in one sense of the word. I took control of my life and I hold the reigns in a decent grasp most of the time. But I seriously think that leaving the house and going out on my own without the safety net or the restraint of my family has been the best thing for me. I have been happier than ever before, so even with that hell of a valley in my life, I seriously think that 2007 has been my best year ever. I also happily know that it won't be the reigning king of years for too long because I know that there are bigger and better things in my distant and not so distant future.

Things for me to look forward to:
More Fencing
A Boyfriend
A Husband
Graduating From the University
Graduating from Graduate School
More Kick Ass Friends
Publishing 'Travelers'
Publishing 'Travelers' As A Graphic Novel
Becoming Renown For My Botanical Research
My Lemon Trees Bearing Fruit
Traveling With My Friends
Visiting My Friends Who Plan On Living In Other Countries
The Unknown, The Unplanned, The Unexpected

Free Of Everything, Bound By Nothing
Living The Life I Was Given.

Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.