I'm reading an article talking about why a new edition of The diary of Anne Frank has been pulled from the reading curriculum of a Culpepper County school. They bring up Frank talking about her vagina and sex as the reasons why a parent didn't want their child to study this book. I give the school some credit in just pulling this edition from the study curriculum and not from the system entirely. It is still available to find in the library, which is better than what I normally read in censorship issues.
A disclaimer before I go off the topic of the story, I've never read it, I don't want to. The Holocaust was a depressing era of the collective human history, just like slavery is, specific to me, America slavery of Africans, and the Soviet Union. I respect what the book is and why it was written, maybe one day I will read it, until then I speak on behalf of text I have never first hand experienced.
That said, going off my sex education classes, male genitalia was described in use and anatomically shown by the time I was in eighth grade. I knew the basics of how things worked and that was all described in a scientific and very 70s fashion, because for some reason, newer educational films haven't been made. That said, I don't understand why or how the book in 'too sexual' for an eighth grade class. They've have sex-ed since 5th grade, many have older siblings who have told them things, and most have probably seen porn by that age, or mainstream movies which sometimes have explicit-ish amounts of sex in them. How is real account of someone experiencing what all other girls are going through too graphic for their children? The way I see it, it shows the readers that they are not the only ones to ask certain questions. They may share the same criticisms of their genitalia as some kid who lived 60 years before them, before their parents even. How is something that wasn't written to necessarily to be sexually arousing a negative? It was just her thoughts and her experiences with her body. Everybody questions their body at some point, explores and finally puts a mirror between their legs to see what things look like. If not everybody, than some, probably many, but the point I'm trying to make is teenagers are trying to understand what is going on. To see someone else try similar things, or their thoughts on the same things is not a negative. It's not salacious, it just is, they are the facts of her life for the world to read.
I think that what this parent was doing was a disservice to their child, the blog (second link below) sounds like it was a son who apparently was disgusted by reading a description of a vagina, or a description of mestruation. Which ever. By not reading the book, or having an honest, real life experience with it the smoke and mirrors are still there. In reading someone going through the thoughts of learning their body it is more useful than watching 30 and 40 year old videos about hip kids like them going to class with a hard one, or getting a period, or the other joys of puberty. That kid will have less of an understanding about sex because the technical lexicon used to educate is annoying to dig through. The more relaxed vocabulary that Frank used in the book is probably more akin to what someone between the ages of 12 and 14 would more likely use, time and slang aside.
Along with that, I think that the mystification of sex is a disservice to maturing teenagers everywhere. It is such a taboo that parents give cutesy names to sexual organs, which in turn makes explaining the science behind it more awkward. Calling it a 'pee-pee' is stupid, a penis or vagina is not pee. Twat, cunt, dick, prick, pee-pee, so forth and so on are not useful, they're not correct terms for things. They're stupid euphemisms that parents hide behind when they're too afraid of breaking their child's fragile mind to give things real names. The less special you make something the less a kid will notice. I've seen it first hand, I used the word 'frig' in front of my sister. She didn't notice until my brother told me not to say it, then she noticed the word she didn't know and assumed it was something naughty. That's not how it goes, if it's something common and every day than your kid will hopefully act less stupid about when they're older.
After using proper names for things, parents need to get used to trying to answer the 'hard' questions. The child favorite, 'how are babies made' or 'where did I come from' are not that hard to answer. "When a man and a woman have sex, there is the possibility that a baby will be made, and grow inside the woman's body for nine months, until it is pushed out. Sex is when the penis enters the vagina, it is the primary reason for having each, to make more babies and people." It's simple, not really arousing explains it. Details provided as questions are asked. It makes more sense than the stork bullshit, and the 'love makes a baby' is a lie that shouldn't be perpetuated. To make it more compassionate, you could say love and caring is involved, but what I said up there is a template, it's simple and described in a way how a baby is born.
By giving a child the truth, they learn they can trust you better. What the parents gets out of telling the kids the truth, simple or complex language aside, they are helping their kids understand things. Many children crave knowledge, the answer to the whys and hows of their life. Giving them a real answer is much more beneficial because it is a safe environment to learn something. You are giving them the tools to learn things the right way. I was more bothered when my mother didn't give me a real explanation to things then when she gave it to me straight. I may not have liked the answer, but her honest was nice. I knew I could trust her that much more than hearing one thing and being taught another.
Our society makes sex out to be such a secret, an exclusive club that most adults experience that people have issues talking about it. Let your kid know that masturbation is all right, just to clean up afterward. Explain to them why they shouldn't have sex too early, let them ask you questions. Sex shouldn't be a secret. It is natural, most living creatures experience it to some degree so lying about it doesn't make much sense. It's not inherently dangerous, but not respecting what has the potential to come from sexual intercourse is.
Jasmine P.
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