Conteplating my mother

This was initially a response to a comment about needing to be Christian to understand the Bible, and my disagreement with that idea.  I ended up drifting to thoughts about my mother instead.

"I decided religion stopped making sense for me when I was about 12, but I kept trying. When my mother died when I was 18, she was "taken home" or "God needed her" or whatever platitudes people tried to give me, they never worked. I decided that her death was for the best because her last 3 months sucked. She was in pain and stuck in a hospital. She loved more things than I can and I aspire to be someone she would be proud of, even if I don't have her religious conviction. She wasn't crazy devout, but she would actively go to church just about every Sunday. She also went out to clubs on Fridays or Saturdays, and gambled. She helped those who were less fortunate than we, and she prayed. She also cursed like a sailor. She was human.

Sorry, I'm dealing with mourning, she died on April 28th, I try to get through April every year and it kicks my ass. Upside, I did smile while thinking about my mom and sharing this. She was a good person and literally gave a homeless woman the coat off her back one day because the woman needed it and my mom had plenty of coats. Sh was good to people and children, I think that even without God she would have been that person. She had her dark streaks, but who doesn't. For me, God 'needing' my mom was bullshit, I didn't consider myself to be an 18 year old who didn't need her mom. She was never abusive and the things that I was mad at her about were not worth her dying. I made it through her funeral and the time after with science as my explanation and not religion which gave me shitty answers."

Jasmine P.