Some things I've learned: 2010

I'm terrified of my future, what I want to become, what I need to do and how I'll accomplish it. I'm terrified because I know I can succeed.

The Rules of Irby* are applicable to pretty much all factions of my life.

I can accomplish more than I think I can, I just have to get to it and finish things

Life is perplexing

One good friend makes up for a shitting week, can help me forget all of my regrets and reminds me of what important in my life.

I will always strive to be someone my mother would have been proud of. I'm sure she'd be bragging about things I do now, but I'm not there yet.

I dream big. It's daunting, terrifying, I will survive

More people care about me than I think sometimes. I'm hard on myself because I'm not as great as the me I am in my head. I still have time to become that amazing.

True friends just accept, no questions asked.

Music.

Adventure comes in many forms and may not be recognized until after the fact.

The people around me support me, even if they don't know me that well. They support me because of who I am, how I carry myself and the little things that I don't think are all that important. They notice the things I do that I ignore. They see the good I accomplish and can forgive that which is less good because my positive out weights my negative. I thank them because they have the potential to help when I can't help myself.

I will miss Norfolk when I leave.

I don't belong in Reston anymore. There is little left in Reston for me, not enough opportunities for me to grow into a better person. I need to stop returning and move on with my life if I'm really going to accomplish anything in this life.

My friends and family encourage me, but I need to keep in mind what I encourage myself to accomplish, starting with moving forward. Forward is opportunity, adventure and new friends. Back is stagnation, degradation and loathing.

I don't know what will happen on this road, I don't know where I'll stay or how long I'll be there, but I do know that the journey is the important part. I've started on this journey, I think officially in 2010, it's slow going with uncertain terrain before me. Many have walked similar paths, many will follow behind me. I need to figure this out for myself, find my way and accomplish something great, and I can.


* The Rules of Irby:

1. There are no rules! 
2. DON'T talk about Fight Club!
3.  BOOM! 
4. Own it! 
5. Learn the rules to break the rules 
6. If you're not cheating, you're not trying hard enough 
7.  ...and I'm okay with that 
8. Practice makes better 
9. You know how Irby is
10. Draw the damn cat! 

Jasmine P.

Stalkerbook, No Stalking!

I care about my privacy on Facebook. I like sharing as little as possibly outside of my friends and I don't want to use Facebook to connect to other sites. I may link to my blogs on Facebook, but I don't want Facebook to always know when I do something on another blog.

That said, Instant Personalization is back on Facebook, again. It's opt-out again instead of being opt-in, because Facebook has some sort of really annoying opt-in boner that likes being all up in my business. I don't post on sites using Stalkerbook Connect because I don't was my newsfeed to be filled with all of that idiocy, I barely care about seeing my friend's non-Stalkerbook idiocy on Stalkerbook. If I wanted to read their posts on Gizmodo or The New York Times I'd ask them what their opinion was about that. If I want to see what videos they like on Youtube, I'd subscribe to their channel so I could find their likes easier. I like keeping some aspects of what I do online separate from other aspects of what I do online. The only people who I'm friends with on Facebook are people I know in real life and a few select internet people, then like..3 "celebrities" because they were like "friend me". I don't need everything I do to get back to Stalkerbook, it's bad enough Google know just about everything, at least it doesn't spam the site telling the internet what I'm doing on the internet.

I just figured this would be something of interest to people here, because most everyone everywhere has a Facebook account. I also feel everyone has the right and responsibility to keep track of what gets shared where, and if nothing else, informing on the situation then sharing my possibly alarmist opinion helps the spread of information.


Jasmine P.

Fucking Parent Groups (not porn)

I go off on parent groups being shit all the time, this is pretty much more of the same. Same dance, new tune.

I saw this on Yahoo, "Parent Groups Colds TV Shows for sexualizing young girls" which I can agree is not the best thing for shows to be doing, but one of the first thing the article does is list shows that are "popular" with the 12-17 crowd. First, that group is too large, 12 year old and 17 year olds are at different maturity levels and are interested in different forms of television. And second, not very show listed is necessarially for that age group, or for that entire age group. House, Family Guy, Grey's Anatomy, NCIS, Desperate Housewives. I mean, they just went after prime time TV, which is when this age group should be studying or doing their homework.

But I also question how much sexualization is too much? Telling teens that teens don't have sex is a lie, looking around many middle and high schools you see visible examples of teens who are having sex. But I think it's worse when you don't know, those girls could be much worse off, I mean, if they are boning, not if they are virgins. I approve of Glee showcasing a pregnant teen in the first season, hot out the gate with that decision. That little bit of truth shows some of what teens have to deal with in that situation, even if it's over hyped and extra-ridiculous pretty much all the time. My point being, the irl is ashamed and embarrassed, but has to deal with it, that's real-ish.

You know, looking at all the things that cause eating disorders, do girls raised without any social pressures what so ever just not develop eating disorders? I want to see this experiment. Take 300 girls, put them in an isolated location from the age of 2 until 18 allow no outside media, no comparisons, no whatever causes eating disorders and social anxiety disorders and see what happens. I'm just saying.

Response to Two-and-a-Half Men - women have already been reduced to sexual objects in media. This show isn't reducing it, just perpetuating the myth that exists in our society. Case in point: why are women areola and nipples more harmful than men areola and nipples? They're the same thing, modified skin cells and sweat glands, but remember what happened when we saw Janet Jackson's ray encircled nipple? Children were hurt by it. The children were scarred! But that extra fat, hairy, bear of a man at the beach in swimming trunks, or a Speedo, their nipples don't harm children. I mean, maybe they run screaming from the fat, just not their nipples.

Why is there no show of sexualization of men? I mean, that's all Sex in the City did, right? I barely watched any episode so I really don't know. I know this study was on network television and not cable, but why don't people ever talk about the issues boys and men have to live up to societal demands? I personally know two dudes who have body image hang ups. Opposite ends of the spectrum. Where are the studies talking about how overly muscular men or extra ripped guys in television harm boys? What about them? Also, why is a sexual situation in a relationship or to build a relationship the only form of a healthy sexual relationship? One night stands don't necessarily objectify men or women, I'd rather see characters get off than be cuckholds and abstinent. Where are the television shows that talk about proper condom use and the psychological effects sex has on a person? Also, show me the outside of skinny gettin' it on, somebody loves every shape. Showing a bigger person, male or female,  boning, or implying that they're going to or they did will help kids understand that they don't have to be waifs to get laid.


Jasmine P.

Networking and Opportunity Knocking

I have always considered myself to be someone who's not memorable and I think that I fly under the radar, but I've apparently made a mark on a few people. From being in my one class, Rhetoric of the Graphic Novel I have made three opportunities to not languish in obscurity. I have a foundation for making a name of myself and it's terrifying. I want to run away, but this is what I want for my life.

First opportunity is to get a comic going in a few university newspapers, I've been lazy about that, putting it behind my journal comic, which has not been the smartest thing, but I was afraid of success and how much time it would detract from my ideas.

My second opportunity is in general talking comic art and working with someone. Getting him started and being someone he can ask for help and advice and possible collaborate on something.

My third opportunity is the one that's really freaking me out, there's a dude in my class who's trying to start being a small press publisher, and I could use his publishing house to print my comics. It seems overwhelming to have so many opportunities all from one class.

I have an older opportunity to draw and sell an art book for a local business I frequent. All of these feed and support each other. I know college is where these things happen, it's just shocking to think of it happening to me. I need to really get serious about my comic work and progress and finish things. I have a million ideas and now I have so many opportunities to really get somewhere with it all that I'm freaking out.

An opportunity I instigated in my journal comic and drawing bands. I went to a concert this past weekend and sketched out the bands and performers, I'm planning on doing nice ink and wash images for the bands. This is a door I'm opening myself to get my art out there. I plan on sending scans of the images to a local paper to put them up online and to also gt my work out there. I'm planning on taking commissions and getting my work out there, if these bands like these little pieces, I'm imagining what it would be like to make much larger, much nicer pieces but as commissions and not just these little sketches.

I wonder how many successful people wanted to run away. I bet they were all equally terrified about where things were headed. The difference is they didn't run away, so I need to keep from running and accept and work toward what I imagine. I'm terrified of my imagination becoming a reality, I don't know if I'm ready for it yet. I have to have myself ready at some point and now is as good as ever. I started on this road and I don't want to diverge from it. This is what I need to prove to my family that my art work will get me somewhere. I start small, I start local and I will have to work to get what I imagine. I make myself into a local legend, a local name, then I take on the rest of the small press community one event, one book, one image at a time.

Jasmine P.