Last night I saw Milk, starring Sean Penn, Emile Hirch and Josh Brolin. It reminded me of things I knew but it introduced me to many things I hadn't ans it showed the severity of the hatred people have for others.
I know people have issues with homosexuality but I can't understand why? Why do the Christian Fundamentalists believe that they're trying to 'recruit' children to love those of the same sex? Because some men sexually abused children doesn't mean that all men want to. It did say that statically child abusers were heterosexual. I saw somewhere once that abuse is primarially a rift on power, for the man to feel as if he's in control.
But today I've read over Harvey Milk's life, I've read over the 'Save our Children' campaign and at the moment I can't read about John Briggs or his Initiation. It's painful and illogical. That amout of idiocy in the world, why? Why do people hate so much? Why do the they feel the need to shut down people who have done nothing wrong. Yes, I understand homosexualty is a sin, but when did humanity become God? Just because you believe wiht all your heart that it's right, but science or something can prove you're wrong, that doesn't mean you're right.
I truely don't know what I'm trying to say here, but if people are allowed to be discriminated on and they're banned from housing and work, what are they supposed to do with themselves? There's nothing wrong with their cognitive abiities but they can't have a home because they love their own gender. How does that hurt other people? People go to prison because they are a danger to the world around them, but how is homosexuality a danger to the surrounding world? Unless they're knowing transmitting diseases, they're not a danger.
I don't know if I truely want to understand what those type of people think. I don't think I want to understand why because I'm that much happier not knowing. My homosexual friends are fun and amazing to have. People are people before their sexuality. People eat, breath, live and want to pursue whatever their happiness is, so how does who they sleep next to fut into this?
Jasmine P.
December 22, 2008
December 15, 2008
Do Unto Others As You Would Want Them To Do Unto You
I haven't properly written anything out in a while, more than a month really. Well, I think there's one or two things on LJ or Facebook but ehh, those two journals don't get the same treatment as over here does. Twitter gets the truth most often, the deepest parts of my soul in only 160 characters. Well, 140, but 160 in a text, but that's neither here nor there.
I've figured out and decided that I'm at a major cross roads in my life and I've been here for a while. How long I cann0t tell but things are different. some times I'm a lot happier than I've been in a while, other times I'm somewhat listless and my attention span has been nowhere serious for the past few days. I think it's partially a very mild depression but I'm still moving away from where i used to be. i mean, this time last year I was crazed and ready to get the hell out of dodge. And I think a very little mite suicidal. I assume I'm true about that last assumption. i don't like that thought one little bit, but it might be a small part of my truth about life.
Considering I've spent so much time alone I've had a lot to think about without other people getting in the way. Apparently Firefox can't spell check anymore. fucking whore. blargle ggj ...joy. Back to the point, my technological assistance is apparently temporarily out, maybe because this window's been open for a while, and now I just plain have an internet error, joy.
Back to my life. Now, there are two guys who are apparently vying for attention in my mind. One of them works at Borjo and I know I won't say a damned thing to him, and i think he's in a relationship anyway. Okay, this is annoying. Time to refresh the fucking window. There, it's fixed, but back to the point, once more. The other guy I've never said a word to, but he does intrigue me and I do want to say something. Mostly tell him his hat is bitching, but even that apparently sends me a twitter and makes me confused and like an annoying girl. Interacting wiht strangers is quite annoying and American society does not make it any easier. Great, it's crapped out once more. Fuck you ODU internet. Yeah, I wish this were more of a spur of the moment thing and not something I've been thinking about saying all semester. I'm a weird one. Chance are I'll say this, then it'll be another person on my 'hi-bye' roster of acquaintances. No big deal.
On to more stupidity that's been running through my head. I am currently obsessing of the TV show Psych. I think a rabid obsession has been missing from my life. I haven't really been focused on anything for a while and even with my faulty attention span from the past few days, I have been enjoying the show and the commentary and have tried to draw James Roday and Dule Hill. James is much more of a challenge, and he is now on my list of actors it would be bitching to meet. Well included in this list is the even awesome RDJ, Johnny Depp, and Morgan Freeman to remind myself of a few of the celebs I would love to meet. Hell, I would love to film an episode of Psych. 'Guest starring a random fan!' Bomb diggity.
I don't know where I'm going right now and I think that's why I had to spend some time alone, so I could get a proper handle on myself and what I need. I don't know how to fix me and getting a boyfriend is a bit of a pipe dream still. Pipe dream territory is never fun.
Now's not the time for my to do my big 'it's the end of the year' thing. I kind of did that for my birthday when I said 'i'm not dead yet' but maybe this time I'll wait until January and just have my big 'changing of the year' thing ring in the next year instead of shutting down the old one. God, this new mp3 player recharges is no time. From no batter to almost full in about 45min. Gold.
I'm sure this has accomplished something important to me, but I'm not sure of what it is quite yet. The point is to be theraputic and I'm not sure how useful this one was. Probably more than I realize at this moment, but it's not as useful as my last conversation with Alex. But nothingis near as useful as any of those, except for face-to-face interaction.
Jasmine P.
I've figured out and decided that I'm at a major cross roads in my life and I've been here for a while. How long I cann0t tell but things are different. some times I'm a lot happier than I've been in a while, other times I'm somewhat listless and my attention span has been nowhere serious for the past few days. I think it's partially a very mild depression but I'm still moving away from where i used to be. i mean, this time last year I was crazed and ready to get the hell out of dodge. And I think a very little mite suicidal. I assume I'm true about that last assumption. i don't like that thought one little bit, but it might be a small part of my truth about life.
Considering I've spent so much time alone I've had a lot to think about without other people getting in the way. Apparently Firefox can't spell check anymore. fucking whore. blargle ggj ...joy. Back to the point, my technological assistance is apparently temporarily out, maybe because this window's been open for a while, and now I just plain have an internet error, joy.
Back to my life. Now, there are two guys who are apparently vying for attention in my mind. One of them works at Borjo and I know I won't say a damned thing to him, and i think he's in a relationship anyway. Okay, this is annoying. Time to refresh the fucking window. There, it's fixed, but back to the point, once more. The other guy I've never said a word to, but he does intrigue me and I do want to say something. Mostly tell him his hat is bitching, but even that apparently sends me a twitter and makes me confused and like an annoying girl. Interacting wiht strangers is quite annoying and American society does not make it any easier. Great, it's crapped out once more. Fuck you ODU internet. Yeah, I wish this were more of a spur of the moment thing and not something I've been thinking about saying all semester. I'm a weird one. Chance are I'll say this, then it'll be another person on my 'hi-bye' roster of acquaintances. No big deal.
On to more stupidity that's been running through my head. I am currently obsessing of the TV show Psych. I think a rabid obsession has been missing from my life. I haven't really been focused on anything for a while and even with my faulty attention span from the past few days, I have been enjoying the show and the commentary and have tried to draw James Roday and Dule Hill. James is much more of a challenge, and he is now on my list of actors it would be bitching to meet. Well included in this list is the even awesome RDJ, Johnny Depp, and Morgan Freeman to remind myself of a few of the celebs I would love to meet. Hell, I would love to film an episode of Psych. 'Guest starring a random fan!' Bomb diggity.
I don't know where I'm going right now and I think that's why I had to spend some time alone, so I could get a proper handle on myself and what I need. I don't know how to fix me and getting a boyfriend is a bit of a pipe dream still. Pipe dream territory is never fun.
Now's not the time for my to do my big 'it's the end of the year' thing. I kind of did that for my birthday when I said 'i'm not dead yet' but maybe this time I'll wait until January and just have my big 'changing of the year' thing ring in the next year instead of shutting down the old one. God, this new mp3 player recharges is no time. From no batter to almost full in about 45min. Gold.
I'm sure this has accomplished something important to me, but I'm not sure of what it is quite yet. The point is to be theraputic and I'm not sure how useful this one was. Probably more than I realize at this moment, but it's not as useful as my last conversation with Alex. But nothingis near as useful as any of those, except for face-to-face interaction.
Jasmine P.
December 14, 2008
I haven't properly written anything out in a while, more than a month really. Well, I think there's one or two things on LJ or Facebook but ehh, those two journals don't get the same treatment as over here does. Twitter gets the truth most often, the deepest parts of my soul in only 160 characters. Well, 140, but 160 in a text, but that's neither here nor there.
I've figured out and decided that I'm at a major cross roads in my life and I've been here for a while. How long I cann0t tell but things are different. Sometimes I'm a lot happier than I've been in a while, other times I'm somewhat listless and my attentions pan has been nowhere serious for the past few days. I think it's partially a very mild depression but I'm still moving away from where i used to be. i mean, this time last year I was crazed and ready to get the hell out of dodge. And I think a very little mite suicidal. I assume I'm true about that last assumption. i don't like that thought one little bit, but it might be a small part of my truth about life.
Considering I've spent so much time alone I've had a lot to think about without other people getting in the way. Apparently firefox can't spell check anymore. fucking whore.
Jasmine P.
I've figured out and decided that I'm at a major cross roads in my life and I've been here for a while. How long I cann0t tell but things are different. Sometimes I'm a lot happier than I've been in a while, other times I'm somewhat listless and my attentions pan has been nowhere serious for the past few days. I think it's partially a very mild depression but I'm still moving away from where i used to be. i mean, this time last year I was crazed and ready to get the hell out of dodge. And I think a very little mite suicidal. I assume I'm true about that last assumption. i don't like that thought one little bit, but it might be a small part of my truth about life.
Considering I've spent so much time alone I've had a lot to think about without other people getting in the way. Apparently firefox can't spell check anymore. fucking whore.
Jasmine P.
November 10, 2008
Betrayal
Hmm, I wasn't coming here tonight to actually write anything, but now I have sometihng to write about.
Somebody I thought I could trust had broken it. I have been betrayed. Why? I don't know. I'm not really tentative about trusting people. I'm quite to trust, unless somebody seems unsavory, then I'll be more tentative. But this hurts. If I had known I had done something to slight her I would have apologized, but I feel incredibly unwelcome here and might try to move out before next semester.
I'll pay what I owe, but after than no more. Once I've been slighted I don't trust. Not fo a long time. This friendship was not the best and apparently it's had it's uses and I must be off onto better things and people to truly love me for me. People who take my side...
Forgetting all else. I stand alone. Like always, I am alone.
Jasmine P.
Somebody I thought I could trust had broken it. I have been betrayed. Why? I don't know. I'm not really tentative about trusting people. I'm quite to trust, unless somebody seems unsavory, then I'll be more tentative. But this hurts. If I had known I had done something to slight her I would have apologized, but I feel incredibly unwelcome here and might try to move out before next semester.
I'll pay what I owe, but after than no more. Once I've been slighted I don't trust. Not fo a long time. This friendship was not the best and apparently it's had it's uses and I must be off onto better things and people to truly love me for me. People who take my side...
Forgetting all else. I stand alone. Like always, I am alone.
Jasmine P.
October 18, 2008
Change
To fill in the blanks from the beginning, if for nothing, my terrible memory. On Monday, I decided to ask this guy out. His response is 'maybe' then we talk about other things. We happen to not see each other until Wednesday night, when he agrees to try going out with me. I'm happy, but things between us don't seem any different, in any way shape or form. This is what happens upon question him. [originally a letter to Za]
Nope, not what you were thinking. I brought up with the guy, the fact that things seem to be the same between us as before, and wondered why he said 'yes' to me after he asked me why I asked.
I said 'I feel really comfortable and I was wondering where things would go' blah blah blah, stuff I've told you before.
Upon asking him why he said 'yes' he said he wanted to try to open himself up to people more. I asked him if he could think of me as more than a friend, and he thinks 'no'. So we decided to break things off now.
I don't really feel sad, at the moment I'm sleepy, but it's fucking 1:30am and I've been up since 7. I felt a bit melancholy, but ehh, things will apparently be the same because after decided we'd stay friends, he asked me some art question and I answered.
I'll be fine, don't worry. I'll go back to ...well, I haven't really changed, so there's not much for me to go back to. I guess in my mind, or maybe I'll go back to not thinking about guys. This would have been easier if he'd just said 'no' before but ces't la vie.
In the grand scheme of relationships, I won't count this as anything because it's barely been 48hrs since the original conversation [which was 12 after practice on Wednesday]. I regret nothing, because nothing happened to regret. And I've learned something, an experience to put to use in some of my stories, so a win-nothing situation? I've also learned how I think I'll feel if I like someone else, but let's see how long it is until I feel this way again.
I assume he said 'yes' and talks to me the most because I'm patient with dealing with people [shut up, I am/can be!] and I kept trying to engage him. But that's who I am, a social being who focuses on what stands out somehow, with him, it was his silence. That, and he was always there.
Well, now I get to go back to pondering other guys and then wondering if it's something with me that scares guys away. Too aggressive of a personality or too masculine of an aura. It's not my fault, but it is my hindrance in life.
-To conclude, before actually saying anything I was thinking we feel more like friends than anything else, so it never seemed right to say anything. I think that's why I felt so unsure, there were friend vibes then from me, god to tell what. Now what to do until anther guy approaches me? I'm not big on changing who I am nor how I act, I'd rather not lie to some guy who thinks he has a chance with me, then I turn into my normal self, so fuck that.
Hell, I'm not even looking for marriage, I'm not looking for anything too serious, but I am looking for something that's meaningful and worth whatever time, energy and effort gets put into it. This had it's worth, but now I'm off to explore my psyche and figure out what I want, maybe a 'who' will respond.
Jasmine P.
Nope, not what you were thinking. I brought up with the guy, the fact that things seem to be the same between us as before, and wondered why he said 'yes' to me after he asked me why I asked.
I said 'I feel really comfortable and I was wondering where things would go' blah blah blah, stuff I've told you before.
Upon asking him why he said 'yes' he said he wanted to try to open himself up to people more. I asked him if he could think of me as more than a friend, and he thinks 'no'. So we decided to break things off now.
I don't really feel sad, at the moment I'm sleepy, but it's fucking 1:30am and I've been up since 7. I felt a bit melancholy, but ehh, things will apparently be the same because after decided we'd stay friends, he asked me some art question and I answered.
I'll be fine, don't worry. I'll go back to ...well, I haven't really changed, so there's not much for me to go back to. I guess in my mind, or maybe I'll go back to not thinking about guys. This would have been easier if he'd just said 'no' before but ces't la vie.
In the grand scheme of relationships, I won't count this as anything because it's barely been 48hrs since the original conversation [which was 12 after practice on Wednesday]. I regret nothing, because nothing happened to regret. And I've learned something, an experience to put to use in some of my stories, so a win-nothing situation? I've also learned how I think I'll feel if I like someone else, but let's see how long it is until I feel this way again.
I assume he said 'yes' and talks to me the most because I'm patient with dealing with people [shut up, I am/can be!] and I kept trying to engage him. But that's who I am, a social being who focuses on what stands out somehow, with him, it was his silence. That, and he was always there.
Well, now I get to go back to pondering other guys and then wondering if it's something with me that scares guys away. Too aggressive of a personality or too masculine of an aura. It's not my fault, but it is my hindrance in life.
-To conclude, before actually saying anything I was thinking we feel more like friends than anything else, so it never seemed right to say anything. I think that's why I felt so unsure, there were friend vibes then from me, god to tell what. Now what to do until anther guy approaches me? I'm not big on changing who I am nor how I act, I'd rather not lie to some guy who thinks he has a chance with me, then I turn into my normal self, so fuck that.
Hell, I'm not even looking for marriage, I'm not looking for anything too serious, but I am looking for something that's meaningful and worth whatever time, energy and effort gets put into it. This had it's worth, but now I'm off to explore my psyche and figure out what I want, maybe a 'who' will respond.
Jasmine P.
October 5, 2008
Sitting, Waiting, Wishing
This reminds me of what I wrote up here last year, looking for love, finding one and not going ahead with anything. [[throwback]] But based off of certain circumstances, instances, rather, this might be more successful if anything is said. Maybe I should practice saying something, in my head as least. I kind of like skipping the whole confession part of everything and image being in a relationship.
Things of interest, he does seem to hyper-focus on me sometimes when we're together or with other people. In a weird way I do the exact opposite, avoid eye-contact and what not because then I start thinking stupid things or focusing too much until I'm too nervous to act normal.
Jack Johnson is the best and worst thing at the moment.
I don't want to be the one to start things, but I also don't want to be in this awkward limbo anymore. I'd love ANY little sign that this is requited love and not unrequited.
I need to write about something other than my lack there of of a relationship with this person. Fuck all! Heh, for as outgoing as I normally am I can't just take control of this. I need to stop protecting me and go out on a limb for once, it would do me a hell of a lot of good if I did. Is is so hard to want any little obvious sign. The most obvious I can notice is how often we hang out, but that doens't count for anything. Unless something happens, we'll fall into the friendship rut and nothig will change.ell, i damn near want Za to push me into him ro something retarded. That would be better than fuck near nothing. I know things aren't like movies, but sometimes I want the ease or confidance of getting into a relationship that people seem to always have in movies.
Hopefully I'll have something more substantial to write here soon. I'm tired of re-writingt he same things, but sadly these same things are on my mind all the time.
Jasmine P.
Things of interest, he does seem to hyper-focus on me sometimes when we're together or with other people. In a weird way I do the exact opposite, avoid eye-contact and what not because then I start thinking stupid things or focusing too much until I'm too nervous to act normal.
Jack Johnson is the best and worst thing at the moment.
I don't want to be the one to start things, but I also don't want to be in this awkward limbo anymore. I'd love ANY little sign that this is requited love and not unrequited.
I need to write about something other than my lack there of of a relationship with this person. Fuck all! Heh, for as outgoing as I normally am I can't just take control of this. I need to stop protecting me and go out on a limb for once, it would do me a hell of a lot of good if I did. Is is so hard to want any little obvious sign. The most obvious I can notice is how often we hang out, but that doens't count for anything. Unless something happens, we'll fall into the friendship rut and nothig will change.ell, i damn near want Za to push me into him ro something retarded. That would be better than fuck near nothing. I know things aren't like movies, but sometimes I want the ease or confidance of getting into a relationship that people seem to always have in movies.
Hopefully I'll have something more substantial to write here soon. I'm tired of re-writingt he same things, but sadly these same things are on my mind all the time.
Jasmine P.
September 23, 2008
Social Study
Its interesting to see how people interact, but it's even more to try to observe oneself on the objective in a very subjective situation. It's also interesting to analyze how I act and to try to figure out why.
A few of the whys: I'm horny, I'm getting depressed, I am just plain lonely.
Now that we have a few possible answers, let's get to the meat of the situation. I'm trying to figure out how a guy I know feels about me, but I'm not sure if this is just me pushing my feelings onto him, or if there is something behind how I'm thinking. I could just be horny, my period is right around the corner and I do get needy and horny right before it so that could be it. Or I could be feeling something for him and that's what I'm unsure of. Two things I noticed today was we got into a bit of a poking war while playing Rock Band, but it didn't just tickle when he poked my side, it was pleasurable. Then there was a time a bit later when we were done fencing and we shook hands, a pleasant feeling ran through my hand.
These are feelings I normally associate with a crush, but this is potentially mutual, so I don't want to just write it off. Another thing is though, last year I said I'd date no fencers, and I met him through fencing. But at the same time, I've not been in a relationship for...well, ever, so I might say 'yes' if he says something just so I can feel loved and feel special and everything that is involved with being in a real relationship with someone. I guess that's what I want, but I don't know if he's who I want.
There's another guy who's always nice and fun to talk to, but he's someone I never see. Well, it's rare, then we don't usually have the chance to talk about much. He might just be nice to all the girls, which would be fine and saddening at the same time. But between these two guys, Guy 2 has props for being both older than me and not a fencer, but Guy 1 has a much closer proximity and we have been hanging out a lot.
That might also be the inspiration for false feelings, close social interaction.
So, like I said, Social Study. A study of me socially. I want some answers soon, hell, I want one of them to say something so I'd actually have something to think about and something to get advice on. I would finally need advice, and it would be fine with me.
Time shall tell.
Jasmine P.
A few of the whys: I'm horny, I'm getting depressed, I am just plain lonely.
Now that we have a few possible answers, let's get to the meat of the situation. I'm trying to figure out how a guy I know feels about me, but I'm not sure if this is just me pushing my feelings onto him, or if there is something behind how I'm thinking. I could just be horny, my period is right around the corner and I do get needy and horny right before it so that could be it. Or I could be feeling something for him and that's what I'm unsure of. Two things I noticed today was we got into a bit of a poking war while playing Rock Band, but it didn't just tickle when he poked my side, it was pleasurable. Then there was a time a bit later when we were done fencing and we shook hands, a pleasant feeling ran through my hand.
These are feelings I normally associate with a crush, but this is potentially mutual, so I don't want to just write it off. Another thing is though, last year I said I'd date no fencers, and I met him through fencing. But at the same time, I've not been in a relationship for...well, ever, so I might say 'yes' if he says something just so I can feel loved and feel special and everything that is involved with being in a real relationship with someone. I guess that's what I want, but I don't know if he's who I want.
There's another guy who's always nice and fun to talk to, but he's someone I never see. Well, it's rare, then we don't usually have the chance to talk about much. He might just be nice to all the girls, which would be fine and saddening at the same time. But between these two guys, Guy 2 has props for being both older than me and not a fencer, but Guy 1 has a much closer proximity and we have been hanging out a lot.
That might also be the inspiration for false feelings, close social interaction.
So, like I said, Social Study. A study of me socially. I want some answers soon, hell, I want one of them to say something so I'd actually have something to think about and something to get advice on. I would finally need advice, and it would be fine with me.
Time shall tell.
Jasmine P.
September 14, 2008
Saturday
So, yesterday Za and I left campus so I could get my car inspected at this place that Glenn suggested and that's how we decided on an excuse for an adventure and lunch, then during lunch we decided to make this a monthly thing. But let's travel to yesterday morning.
She comes over and I make us breakfast because...I wanted bacon and I figured I could get rid of those last few eggs I had since they were really just going to sit there until I had another chance to cook them for someone else. Seriously. So we watch Psych then roll out onto Portsmouth and realize that the shop is closed on Saturdays. When backing out of the parking lot, I break my bumper by hitting a piece of scrap metal but it looks like the only thing that needs to be replaced is the bumper which makes things that much better, even thought they really aren't. So we're both a bit shaken up, Za more then myself, and we decide to explore down 64. We drive out to Pembroke Town Center then decide to more or less never go out there because it's too expensive to buy anything.
We're both hungry...again...and we're both jonesing for salad and decide to hit up the Unos on Military, so we get there and after driving through the parking lot a bit to actually get to the restaurant we have the best experience there, overall. Two dirty spoons were not enough to mar our day. We chat about our usual bull and wabout what had happened that day so far. But the experience at the restaurant has more or less made me forget about the bumper, thant and I think my escapist habits of not thinking about things that are bad so I can regain control of a situation and myself.
The experience is so nice because the restaurant is on the empty, it's between the lunch and dinner rush so it would be. I assume out waitress had just starter her shift so she's in moderately high spirits and we're polite, we've no reason not to be. But the thing is everyone's nice. A manager opens the door for us then when we're on our way out every employee tells us to have a good evening and another waiter holds the door open on our way out. We were floored, this was seriously my best experience at an Unos, and I've been to a few, though they were usually the same restaurant over and over again.
On the way back, still riding the good vibes we decide to go to the Naro rental and pick up Ghostbusters 1&2. On the way I start singing, partially to Za, mostly because it's fun. Driving down Hampton I'm making parodies of what we're listening to, and Za's amusement only encouraged me. One of them was to Junior Senior's Move Your Feet because I was in no mood to sit in traffic. So I was talking about wanting to speed, but it was silly, and she kept laughing so I made up one about Paula Deen killing everyone with butter.
Back in the apartment we watch Ghostbusters before CR calls inviting us over to watch The Sword in the Stone and Teeth. Teeth is fucking amazing, it's about this pure virginal girl who was born with vagina dentata, teeth in her vagina. But the problem is I'm in a goofy mood and none of us are taking anything seriously so we're making fun of this movie. The crabs were the best part. Mario Kart Wii is our next activity followed by my general makng fun of the staples of video games, then we're spicifically talking about Zelda.
Saturday started off slow, but ended up being awesome! And I'm making dinner tonight, so I need to get to the store and buy me some chicken soon...
Jasmine P.
She comes over and I make us breakfast because...I wanted bacon and I figured I could get rid of those last few eggs I had since they were really just going to sit there until I had another chance to cook them for someone else. Seriously. So we watch Psych then roll out onto Portsmouth and realize that the shop is closed on Saturdays. When backing out of the parking lot, I break my bumper by hitting a piece of scrap metal but it looks like the only thing that needs to be replaced is the bumper which makes things that much better, even thought they really aren't. So we're both a bit shaken up, Za more then myself, and we decide to explore down 64. We drive out to Pembroke Town Center then decide to more or less never go out there because it's too expensive to buy anything.
We're both hungry...again...and we're both jonesing for salad and decide to hit up the Unos on Military, so we get there and after driving through the parking lot a bit to actually get to the restaurant we have the best experience there, overall. Two dirty spoons were not enough to mar our day. We chat about our usual bull and wabout what had happened that day so far. But the experience at the restaurant has more or less made me forget about the bumper, thant and I think my escapist habits of not thinking about things that are bad so I can regain control of a situation and myself.
The experience is so nice because the restaurant is on the empty, it's between the lunch and dinner rush so it would be. I assume out waitress had just starter her shift so she's in moderately high spirits and we're polite, we've no reason not to be. But the thing is everyone's nice. A manager opens the door for us then when we're on our way out every employee tells us to have a good evening and another waiter holds the door open on our way out. We were floored, this was seriously my best experience at an Unos, and I've been to a few, though they were usually the same restaurant over and over again.
On the way back, still riding the good vibes we decide to go to the Naro rental and pick up Ghostbusters 1&2. On the way I start singing, partially to Za, mostly because it's fun. Driving down Hampton I'm making parodies of what we're listening to, and Za's amusement only encouraged me. One of them was to Junior Senior's Move Your Feet because I was in no mood to sit in traffic. So I was talking about wanting to speed, but it was silly, and she kept laughing so I made up one about Paula Deen killing everyone with butter.
Back in the apartment we watch Ghostbusters before CR calls inviting us over to watch The Sword in the Stone and Teeth. Teeth is fucking amazing, it's about this pure virginal girl who was born with vagina dentata, teeth in her vagina. But the problem is I'm in a goofy mood and none of us are taking anything seriously so we're making fun of this movie. The crabs were the best part. Mario Kart Wii is our next activity followed by my general makng fun of the staples of video games, then we're spicifically talking about Zelda.
Saturday started off slow, but ended up being awesome! And I'm making dinner tonight, so I need to get to the store and buy me some chicken soon...
Jasmine P.
Me and Religion
This was written around midnight, so ten hours ago.
After looking at my friend's note and some of the comments, most of us commentators decided to avoided his God issue. That made me think about my relationship with religion.
I say I believe in the bible and God and am Christian. It's how I was raised and it's something I decided to accept and not question. It's something I still don't really question and I have my stances on aspects of religion and my relationship with it, but then I wonder, am I truly a spiritually driven person. No, not really. I curse, drink, talk about more than abstinence even though I practice it, but I don't have biblical reasons, more logical reasons.
I'm 'abstinent' because I've had no real reason to not be. No boyfriend and I'm not going to get laid just because everyone else it. I am so reverse peer-pressure sometimes it's ridiculous.
I like some alcohol, but at the same time i'm not trying to straight up kill my liver so. :shrug: I find profanity to just be words to express anger so they have no special meaning. At the same time, I'm not trying to teach my sister how to curse, so I don't curse around her.
As for me and religion. I don't like to argue the topic with people and then I wonder how often I seek God for things and I really don't. I don't know if I exactly believe in a God, but I do accept that there is something greater than humanity out there and that things happen for a reason. I can never guess as to what the reasons may be, but I figure there's something keeping me alive my keeping me out of certain situations. At the same time, I don't go to church and I pray when I think I should, like when I'm in trouble. I figured I'd go back to church on the regular once I was done with college, but at the same time I don't know why I'd be going. Because I wanted to be in church, or because I would feel like it's what others would be wanting for me.
If I think about it, I really don't know how I feel about my interaction with religion. I don't have much conviction for things I do nor why. Why I help others without thinking about it. Why I don't help others. I just accept my first reaction for life and try not to question my motives, but at the same time I do wonder 'why' and I wonder if I'm doing the right things in my life. I try to just life and be a god person by my own moral standards, but then when do I need religion to judge me.
Religion condemns the profane, the charlatan, the scientist. I accept each for the fact they are people first. I may disagree with them, but I let others keep their own opinions because I figure they're just as entitled to their own beliefs and opinions as I am of my own.
I guess I might have just been trying to get to the conclusion that I think there's something out there, greater than humanity so I don't need other people to sell me that idea, or try to prove it to me. I just need people to accept me for me and try not to label my motives.
Or I needed to try to figure out how religion fits into my life and still have no answers.
And a commented response to continue:
Christian values were instilled in me, but it was still my mom took me to church more so than i went to church. I'm also not that pressed. I can open a bible and interpret it myself if i need guidance, or I go to different people seeking advice and figure out which makes the most sense.
I know and accept I do biblically wrong things, but I'm also only trying to make the best of it with what I have, and I figure that's the best any person can strive for.
But that's also following the belief that there's a heaven. The scientist in me desires proof, so I figure I try not to be too bad of a person for general purposes [gp] and it keeps me happier. I still don't know exactly what I was looking for with this rant.
Jasmine P.
After looking at my friend's note and some of the comments, most of us commentators decided to avoided his God issue. That made me think about my relationship with religion.
I say I believe in the bible and God and am Christian. It's how I was raised and it's something I decided to accept and not question. It's something I still don't really question and I have my stances on aspects of religion and my relationship with it, but then I wonder, am I truly a spiritually driven person. No, not really. I curse, drink, talk about more than abstinence even though I practice it, but I don't have biblical reasons, more logical reasons.
I'm 'abstinent' because I've had no real reason to not be. No boyfriend and I'm not going to get laid just because everyone else it. I am so reverse peer-pressure sometimes it's ridiculous.
I like some alcohol, but at the same time i'm not trying to straight up kill my liver so. :shrug: I find profanity to just be words to express anger so they have no special meaning. At the same time, I'm not trying to teach my sister how to curse, so I don't curse around her.
As for me and religion. I don't like to argue the topic with people and then I wonder how often I seek God for things and I really don't. I don't know if I exactly believe in a God, but I do accept that there is something greater than humanity out there and that things happen for a reason. I can never guess as to what the reasons may be, but I figure there's something keeping me alive my keeping me out of certain situations. At the same time, I don't go to church and I pray when I think I should, like when I'm in trouble. I figured I'd go back to church on the regular once I was done with college, but at the same time I don't know why I'd be going. Because I wanted to be in church, or because I would feel like it's what others would be wanting for me.
If I think about it, I really don't know how I feel about my interaction with religion. I don't have much conviction for things I do nor why. Why I help others without thinking about it. Why I don't help others. I just accept my first reaction for life and try not to question my motives, but at the same time I do wonder 'why' and I wonder if I'm doing the right things in my life. I try to just life and be a god person by my own moral standards, but then when do I need religion to judge me.
Religion condemns the profane, the charlatan, the scientist. I accept each for the fact they are people first. I may disagree with them, but I let others keep their own opinions because I figure they're just as entitled to their own beliefs and opinions as I am of my own.
I guess I might have just been trying to get to the conclusion that I think there's something out there, greater than humanity so I don't need other people to sell me that idea, or try to prove it to me. I just need people to accept me for me and try not to label my motives.
Or I needed to try to figure out how religion fits into my life and still have no answers.
And a commented response to continue:
Christian values were instilled in me, but it was still my mom took me to church more so than i went to church. I'm also not that pressed. I can open a bible and interpret it myself if i need guidance, or I go to different people seeking advice and figure out which makes the most sense.
I know and accept I do biblically wrong things, but I'm also only trying to make the best of it with what I have, and I figure that's the best any person can strive for.
But that's also following the belief that there's a heaven. The scientist in me desires proof, so I figure I try not to be too bad of a person for general purposes [gp] and it keeps me happier. I still don't know exactly what I was looking for with this rant.
Jasmine P.
September 11, 2008
House
There has been a rapid increase in my watching of the television, and most specifically of House. And I've been playing a lot of video games, this is about House and things I've noticed. First: Cameron is a very annoying character. She's too pointlessly emotive in the first season. I've seen but so much of it, but still, her emotion is annoying. Just because she's female doesn't meant she needs to act like she's wet for House.
Second: House cares a lot about each of his cases. He distances himself from his cases because he's trying not to care about the people and only focus on the disease.
He has his reasons for what he does. God I can't focus, this interview is quite entertaining and amusingly entertaining. to be written later.
Jasmine P.
-properly posted on Mar 28, 2009 this being the only addition
Second: House cares a lot about each of his cases. He distances himself from his cases because he's trying not to care about the people and only focus on the disease.
He has his reasons for what he does. God I can't focus, this interview is quite entertaining and amusingly entertaining. to be written later.
Jasmine P.
-properly posted on Mar 28, 2009 this being the only addition
August 30, 2008
Two Girls and a Guy response
I picked up this movie Two Girls and a Guy for two reasons. First, it stars the ever sexy Robert Downey Jr. Second, it was controversial and was originally given an NC-17 rating because of an extended rim job. But The movie on a whole is an intense look at love, life, and honesty. It talks about the power of words and just how much people truth those they love or think they love. It shows how intense emotions can be. It's an amazing look at like in general, but especially at relationships.
These people were honest in their feelings, even as they lied to each other. There is a lot of emotion and a lot of things felt as they spend this day and night fighting.
What's amazing in the movie is the use of silences and expressions. Few movies focus on the range of human expressiveness, but few actors are strong enough to be able to pull off working in silence. The monologues are great and the character's delivery makes it seem like these aren't lines, but it's how they really felt. Each actor really threw themselves into their part and gave it their all. It's a powerful movie. So much strength even when the characters break down and their lives fall apart, over all they are all still amazingly strong and in control. It's fucking awesome. This movie draws you in, you have to see where it takes you and it's one amazing, entertaining and soul searching ride. It makes you wonder how much you believe your own lies.
Jasmine P.
These people were honest in their feelings, even as they lied to each other. There is a lot of emotion and a lot of things felt as they spend this day and night fighting.
What's amazing in the movie is the use of silences and expressions. Few movies focus on the range of human expressiveness, but few actors are strong enough to be able to pull off working in silence. The monologues are great and the character's delivery makes it seem like these aren't lines, but it's how they really felt. Each actor really threw themselves into their part and gave it their all. It's a powerful movie. So much strength even when the characters break down and their lives fall apart, over all they are all still amazingly strong and in control. It's fucking awesome. This movie draws you in, you have to see where it takes you and it's one amazing, entertaining and soul searching ride. It makes you wonder how much you believe your own lies.
Jasmine P.
August 14, 2008
Movie Review: Tropic Thunder
I don't usually write review, but responses to movies, but there isn't anything to respond to, so a review instead =D I also think I need to analyze something before I go crazy, and this is the most recent thing I have to analyze.
TT was not a great movie, it was okay, it is worth seeing again. The fake trailers were ehh, Satan's Alley made me laugh the hardest. The the theater the audience laughed the most at the trailers and the Booty Sweat commercial and not as loudly at the rest of the movie. Or I stopped paying attention to them seeing as how I was wrapped up in the movie. Overall it was poorly written and disjointed, my opinion saved by RDJ's excellent acting, and secondary character Jay Baruchel as Kevin Sandusky. Stiller was weak, Black was in a very Black type of casting, and everyone else filled their parts fine, the pyro/FX technician, Sargent dude, etc. Cruise's character was odd.
Hmm, the movie was disjointed in the fact that there was the set up, then the middle seems to be kind of random, then the conclusion makes sense, well the 'movie's conclusion' before they go to the fake Academy Awards. Also, the characters had very rapid personality growths. Only character Baruchel and Brandon T. Jackson's character 'Alpa Chino' also seemed to have somewhat logical growth, having not changed until whenever the award ceremony was.
I think the conclusion to the movie that would have been more satisfying for me would be something related to how the Downey, Black and Stiller's characters had changed after their ordeal instead of having Cruise dance around for another 5 minutes. I would have liked to see how each actor changed, even if it was some simple little 'post ceremony red carpet' type of thing.
Downey in those blue contacts was one of the scariest things I have ever seen. Well less scary and more disturbing because it didn't work. I loved his use of accents in the movie. No issue with the blackface, because the movie did it's job of straight up making fun of self-absorbed celebrities.
Jasmine P.
TT was not a great movie, it was okay, it is worth seeing again. The fake trailers were ehh, Satan's Alley made me laugh the hardest. The the theater the audience laughed the most at the trailers and the Booty Sweat commercial and not as loudly at the rest of the movie. Or I stopped paying attention to them seeing as how I was wrapped up in the movie. Overall it was poorly written and disjointed, my opinion saved by RDJ's excellent acting, and secondary character Jay Baruchel as Kevin Sandusky. Stiller was weak, Black was in a very Black type of casting, and everyone else filled their parts fine, the pyro/FX technician, Sargent dude, etc. Cruise's character was odd.
Hmm, the movie was disjointed in the fact that there was the set up, then the middle seems to be kind of random, then the conclusion makes sense, well the 'movie's conclusion' before they go to the fake Academy Awards. Also, the characters had very rapid personality growths. Only character Baruchel and Brandon T. Jackson's character 'Alpa Chino' also seemed to have somewhat logical growth, having not changed until whenever the award ceremony was.
I think the conclusion to the movie that would have been more satisfying for me would be something related to how the Downey, Black and Stiller's characters had changed after their ordeal instead of having Cruise dance around for another 5 minutes. I would have liked to see how each actor changed, even if it was some simple little 'post ceremony red carpet' type of thing.
Downey in those blue contacts was one of the scariest things I have ever seen. Well less scary and more disturbing because it didn't work. I loved his use of accents in the movie. No issue with the blackface, because the movie did it's job of straight up making fun of self-absorbed celebrities.
Jasmine P.
August 10, 2008
The Notion of 'Bad' Movies
I don't think that there are any really 'bad' movies. First and foremost a movie is meant to entertain and most do. Even boring movies have their merit, they an be excellent for getting people to go to sleep. I'm tired of seeing people harshly criticize every last detail in movies thinking that every movie needs to be the next Citizen Kane [which I've heard is boring as all hell, even if it's one of the greatest movies of all time].
I just saw Shoot 'Em Up and the perfect comment's title is 'gun porn' because that's all the movie was. It glorified guns and violence in a very cartoony fashion. It was Kill Bill: 1 with guns, seriously. People gave the movie harsh criticism because there was naught much other than shooting going on in the move. But look at the fucking title. It says what's going to happen right there, fucking shooting! I resented the fact that the author of the excellently titled critique said his friend's review was to be 'expected' because the friend was female. I quite enjoyed the movie, but wasn't looking for anything other than a violence fest.
But to where I started, I've spent my summer watching a lot of movies and I've found something to like in each of them. I've either liked and actor, their performance, the story, the cleverness of the script or other. I don't understand why people can be so closed minded about movies. Before this summer I wouldn't have called myself a movie fanatic, but after watching 50+ movies over the summer [hell, I've got one on atm for BG noise] But what I'm saying is, there's something good in every movie something to like so why are people so harsh. You can tell when you look at the movie when walking up to see it the type of movie it's going to be. If you're not going to like it, why see it?
Not every movie out there is supposed to have a message. Not every movie is supposed to have a life lesson. Movies still have the merit to be pure entertainment and that's what Shoot 'Em Up was meant to be. Why can't people go to a movie and just enjoy the wild ride they're sent on, I mean really. Even movies that are poorly made have the merit of being camp and kitch. They're fun because of how bad they are. I like most every movie I've seen and never really call things bad. But I'm also artistic, so I guess I feel bad in calling someone's artistic attempt to be inherently 'bad'.
Hmm, well, my point is not every movie is supposed to hit the same point. Some are pure entertainment and love stories to some random item. It's like a romance story, no real sustenance, and you can usually predict what's going to happen, who's going to get together, but they're still entertaining...sometimes, in what happens to force the couple apart. Some movies have a moral to the story, and others have subtle messages. People need to learn to rate movies on their own personal merits and not just the genre's they fit in. I guess that's what the cult following is for, but people who understand what was being accomplished. I can't expect the many to accept the amazing of the few.
I've kind of lost my point, but that's not new in these.
Jasmine P.
I just saw Shoot 'Em Up and the perfect comment's title is 'gun porn' because that's all the movie was. It glorified guns and violence in a very cartoony fashion. It was Kill Bill: 1 with guns, seriously. People gave the movie harsh criticism because there was naught much other than shooting going on in the move. But look at the fucking title. It says what's going to happen right there, fucking shooting! I resented the fact that the author of the excellently titled critique said his friend's review was to be 'expected' because the friend was female. I quite enjoyed the movie, but wasn't looking for anything other than a violence fest.
But to where I started, I've spent my summer watching a lot of movies and I've found something to like in each of them. I've either liked and actor, their performance, the story, the cleverness of the script or other. I don't understand why people can be so closed minded about movies. Before this summer I wouldn't have called myself a movie fanatic, but after watching 50+ movies over the summer [hell, I've got one on atm for BG noise] But what I'm saying is, there's something good in every movie something to like so why are people so harsh. You can tell when you look at the movie when walking up to see it the type of movie it's going to be. If you're not going to like it, why see it?
Not every movie out there is supposed to have a message. Not every movie is supposed to have a life lesson. Movies still have the merit to be pure entertainment and that's what Shoot 'Em Up was meant to be. Why can't people go to a movie and just enjoy the wild ride they're sent on, I mean really. Even movies that are poorly made have the merit of being camp and kitch. They're fun because of how bad they are. I like most every movie I've seen and never really call things bad. But I'm also artistic, so I guess I feel bad in calling someone's artistic attempt to be inherently 'bad'.
Hmm, well, my point is not every movie is supposed to hit the same point. Some are pure entertainment and love stories to some random item. It's like a romance story, no real sustenance, and you can usually predict what's going to happen, who's going to get together, but they're still entertaining...sometimes, in what happens to force the couple apart. Some movies have a moral to the story, and others have subtle messages. People need to learn to rate movies on their own personal merits and not just the genre's they fit in. I guess that's what the cult following is for, but people who understand what was being accomplished. I can't expect the many to accept the amazing of the few.
I've kind of lost my point, but that's not new in these.
Jasmine P.
August 9, 2008
Fucked Up Future Babies
I think that if television and movies and other forms of entertainment continue to follow the trends that the Baby-Boomers are leading us towards that our entertainment will start to retard and become infantile.
What I mean is that with the biggest movie and television companies they're omitting things that people do because they consider it to be marketing of negative habits or traits that children will hone in on and replicate. They're slowing getting rid of smoking in tv shows and in movies, so people don't smoke, but when you walk down the street, through and amusement park, a regular park, people are smoking. It's what they do. My mom smoked, that never really made me want to try smoking, and it's my lungs and decision. I understood it wasn't something one did until 18, and it fucks you up so why do it? The addiction. Okay, whatever, that's your M.O.They're getting rid of things that people just do because they're pessimistic thinkers in how impressionable children are. If they're taught properly to do or not to do something they will or won't do it. If they watch things geared toward their age group, they're also less likely to bear witness to something 'harmful'.
I also think it's quite idiotic that that Disney is going to retroactively ruin so many of their movies be omitting cigarettes and smoking. That's an integral habit to that character, or the stereotype the character represents. The father, Darling I think his name was, from 101 Dalmatians smoked like a chimney the night the puppies were born, so they're removing his cigarettes. Cruella just plain smoked like a chimney and if I remember right the other characters reacted to her throwing ashes all around from her cigarettes and what not. I know they own the right and the property, but there is still artistic integrity to not change something so long after the fact. When the cartoon was made, it's what people did. People smoked. They gave away cigars when their babies were born. Or re-rating it by the MPAA. Why?
With the trend in making the world 'child safe' I don't see things boding well for mainstream entertainment. I think once they've gotten that nasty little smoking habit kicked from TV, and movies, they'll go after drinking if they're still in power. I think that with the degradation that seems to be going on will last for another 5-15 years until whatever our generation is. Y or whatever bull shit they decided to name us. I think that when those of us who were born to the liberal stoner parents or that generation, the 70s and 80s babies. We're in our 20s and 30s now and we look at the changes going on in TV and think it's a waste. There are signs of a culture. I'd rather not see the only smoking in movies in stoner flicks, they're not all bad, but what about a post coital fag every now and again. It's what people do!
I hope that when the babies of 80s/90s babies are born that the 70s/80s adults will be in control of the movie companies and such so that television will show realer people being real. People smoke, they drink, they fuck. I swear, they're going to also remove instances of pre-maraital sex from movies and such probable in an attempt to get kids to not have sex randomly. It happens, it's always happened and it will continue to happen. Where things are going, people want to protect their children from the world. You have to let them experience things, let them experience life and learn what really happens in life. I'd rather have a kid that knew too much than one that knew too little. Too little knowledge of the real world and there will be severe culture shock.
If I become a parent, my children will learn just how bloody history was. They will have the opportunity to see violent, perverse movies and television, I will find someway to get a DVD player once we move onto something more futuristic. I will explain just why on TV people sit in all white rooms and talk about the weather and not about the news. My kids will have the opportunity to experience the same things I have. I'll hold onto my books so my kids have the chance to read some hard hitting literature, some idiotic literature, some violent literature, intelligent everything I own. We're moving closer to a Fahrenheit 451 dystopic future that needs to be stopped.
When I say 'book' I mean paper. Fuck digital books. Maybe I'm just a bibliophile, or a romantic, but it's not the same to read digital print. There's something about the scent of ink on paper. There's something about actually seeing a different font in a book something that's sans serfs [aparently serfs are important for letter recognition] Hell, it's cozier to hold a book than a cold piece of hardware with a million books downloaded. It's nice to sit in a library and to have hundreds of books up on the walls.
All in all, this was written over the course of an hour , in between surfing the net. It's quite unusual I was able to maintain focus every time I came back, but it's equally unusual that I didn't just bust this out all in one go. But my point is if things keep going at the rate they're going and where they're going, the children of the future will end up being bigger pansies than we were as children, and don't fucking deny that you weren't a pansy. Look at the shit that kids had during the middle ages, or hell, even the early 20th century. So grim and gruesome, but they were fine. There was smoking and drinking everywhere and they were fine, so why not now and into the future. People say they do things for the children to protect them, but it's more for their twisted, idiotic lives. They don't want their kids to fear the things they feared so they don't want them to experience it, but that only makes things worse, delaying the inevitable. Let them grow up with it and they'll be fine. They'll be better adjusted to life outside America if they know of the violence and the harsh reality of reality.
Jasmine P.
July 21, 2008
Being A Blogger
I guess this is technically a blog. It's on Blogger, but I don't quite consider myself a 'blogger' these are more often streams of consciousness that no one reads and I'm fine with the fact that maybe a friend or two of mine reads this. I don't really want or need people responding other than people who know me. I put this out here on the internet for myself. I catalog my life here so my friends can read about what happens when we're not together, but also so people have the opportunity to figure out why I may be acting differently from my own norm.
I was reading the August Wired and they had this article about this chick, Julia Allison or whatever the fuck her last name is, and how this woman aggressively pimps everything. She pimps her Twitter, her blogs, her vlogs, everything about her life. She lives for the attention. I don't. I barely want attention from people I know at times, like from Mikey or Santos at the USBG. Their intense interest in me is quite odd and disquieting at times.
To me, someone who fits the mantel of a 'blogger' is someone who puts their everything out there and people respond. People they don't know. I get no responses here. This journal has been up since September 2007, and i've never gotten a single response, but I do know people have been here. My profile pageview counter is somewhere around 30, and I know of t least one person who reads this periodically.
This is a stream of consciousness that I maintain for myself. I would rather have ten years of anonymity than one hour of celebrialtiy online because tis is for me. If necessary, I'll make another blog for more 'public' affairs. Like how I wanted a separate Flikr for my fencing photos, but it's apparently one account per e-mail, I may make that other e-mail just for those photos. Hell, it would sit there and collect spam, just so I could keep my personal photos separate from my club's photos.
Different facets of my life get different attention. My private and public stay separate. For the most part, they conjoin with me. What's funny is I think you could start on one end of my various websites and following links to damn near every other site, not that I have that many that are active.
I guess this was more about my personal life and keeping it private than about being a blogger, unless both concepts go hand in hand. I mean, being a blogger is about choosing aspects of your personal life to put online, aspects of your opinion about things in life that you're going to put online. I choose to put my mind here for others to try to comprehend. I don't always understand what I put here, but I do know it's important to me. if not, why write it?
This one went in circles. Worse than usual. Interesting, my stream of consciousness. Or is it dull? I've been told it's interesting. I wouldn't know. I almost never read my own writing.
Jasmine P.
I was reading the August Wired and they had this article about this chick, Julia Allison or whatever the fuck her last name is, and how this woman aggressively pimps everything. She pimps her Twitter, her blogs, her vlogs, everything about her life. She lives for the attention. I don't. I barely want attention from people I know at times, like from Mikey or Santos at the USBG. Their intense interest in me is quite odd and disquieting at times.
To me, someone who fits the mantel of a 'blogger' is someone who puts their everything out there and people respond. People they don't know. I get no responses here. This journal has been up since September 2007, and i've never gotten a single response, but I do know people have been here. My profile pageview counter is somewhere around 30, and I know of t least one person who reads this periodically.
This is a stream of consciousness that I maintain for myself. I would rather have ten years of anonymity than one hour of celebrialtiy online because tis is for me. If necessary, I'll make another blog for more 'public' affairs. Like how I wanted a separate Flikr for my fencing photos, but it's apparently one account per e-mail, I may make that other e-mail just for those photos. Hell, it would sit there and collect spam, just so I could keep my personal photos separate from my club's photos.
Different facets of my life get different attention. My private and public stay separate. For the most part, they conjoin with me. What's funny is I think you could start on one end of my various websites and following links to damn near every other site, not that I have that many that are active.
I guess this was more about my personal life and keeping it private than about being a blogger, unless both concepts go hand in hand. I mean, being a blogger is about choosing aspects of your personal life to put online, aspects of your opinion about things in life that you're going to put online. I choose to put my mind here for others to try to comprehend. I don't always understand what I put here, but I do know it's important to me. if not, why write it?
This one went in circles. Worse than usual. Interesting, my stream of consciousness. Or is it dull? I've been told it's interesting. I wouldn't know. I almost never read my own writing.
Jasmine P.
July 20, 2008
What Do You Believe In?
I've seen Dark Knight twice, which is adequate to give it a proper review and I have a lot of opinions about the movie and Gotham U. to think on and respond to.
Part the First: Joker.
When I say 'Joker' I don't just mean Heath Ledger, but also Jack Nicholson, The Joker from the books, every series and entity of Batman ever and will be.
Quite understandably and considered by many people, but I agree with the opinion that the Joker is the greatest Batman villain of all times. Batman has such contempt for the Joker, and the joker goes to such great lengths that no one understands that makes him the greatest villain in my opinion. As described my Christopher Nolan, The Joker has no creation story. He's just a Freak that shows up in Gotham one day and runs amok. I think that part of the reason that The Joker is the greatest villain is the fact that he doesn't make sense. He has no motive that Batman can figure out or find. The others in his rogue's gallery have a reason for their vendetta against Gotham. Joker's motivation seems to be that Batman exists at all. I think that's an important aspect of the character that writers need to keep in mind when writing for him. When writing him in general. The best Jokers are the ones who don't have a plan. The one's who confuse Batman to no end. The ones who make you want him to win instead of Batman.
Part the second: Batman's Rogue's Gallery
I think that Batman has always had one of the classiest of Rogue's Galleries out there. This has to do with what Gotham is and when Gotham takes place. Not the stories, but Gotham itself. No matter when, integral parts of Batman cannot leave the 40s when Kane and everyone else created the characters. Gotham is a character in the story and in the Universe. It's a character that encompasses everything else. But as for the villains, some of the villains that give Batman the greatest challenge are the classiest dressed. Not quite the best, but the classiest. The Joker, The Penguin, Two-Face, Solomon Grundy, and The Riddler to name a few. If the Batman U wasn't next to time the way it is people wouldn't accept the villains staying so dressed up. Many of the other big comic book series out there have everyone in spandex or native clothing to their homeland, or something out there. Batman has some of the most down to earth dressed characters, with some of the most whacked out personalities.
In my opinion, his Gallery is one of the most impressive because they're all brilliant. They can't be stupid in what they do. They know their risks, they throw caution to the wind. The know their chance of survival, partially due to Batman's no killing stance. They know he'll never kill them, but they also know he'll beat them to a bloody pulp. They're also brilliant in how they monopolize the lives of so many and in how they systematically harm them. Some of the greatest were listed above, but some of my favorites are Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn and Catwoman. Catwoman is the greatest female villain because she is so wrapped up in Batman and he in her that they can't resit one another, costumed or not.
I think my favorite aspect of the Batman U is that everyone is a human. They're marred humans, but humans none the less. They don't have super powers, they have abnormalities created by science and the real world that make it ever more acceptable.
Par the Third: Short Comings
Yes, I do love and adore the newest Batman, but there is something missing. There's a feeling, a tast of something missing from the movie. There are also a few too many threads in the movie. They could have introduced Dent without Lau. I think Dent in court as the DA for the mob would have been fine without adding in Lau. He was a bit of an unnecessary complication in my opinion.
There were also a few strings in the over all story that could have been cleared up a bit better.
They could have displayed Gordon's family interaction a bit more than just after his return home and saving them. Lau's presence.
Things would have been just as entertaining and simple if there was just Batman, Joker, Harvey, the mob and the socital stance on Batman which is always important to the series. But I still love the movie. It can't be compared to Iron Man because though both movies were about superheroes, they were on two different aspects of heroism, their motivation is entirely different, their execution of being a hero and the over all feeling of both films were different. Iron Man overall was a lot more light hearted than Batman was. That's just how both movies are. I love them both for different reasons.
Last thing: Joker in drag, favorite part ever! Well, the Joker in general. Fave villain after Catwoman. Well, not quite after, but next to. They're awesome for their own reasons and the two of them are upfront in my mind, but everything the Joker was in the movie was amazing. The greatest tragedy of Ledger playing the Joker is that the Joker is such a force in the Gotham underworld that it can't be right without him and whoever puts on the white face paint next won't be right. IT won't work out as well in this entity of Batman. The joker damn near shouldn't be used again until the next endeavor because of what he is to Gotham. Such a power that can't be controlled and can't be the same.
Jasmine P.
Part the First: Joker.
When I say 'Joker' I don't just mean Heath Ledger, but also Jack Nicholson, The Joker from the books, every series and entity of Batman ever and will be.
Quite understandably and considered by many people, but I agree with the opinion that the Joker is the greatest Batman villain of all times. Batman has such contempt for the Joker, and the joker goes to such great lengths that no one understands that makes him the greatest villain in my opinion. As described my Christopher Nolan, The Joker has no creation story. He's just a Freak that shows up in Gotham one day and runs amok. I think that part of the reason that The Joker is the greatest villain is the fact that he doesn't make sense. He has no motive that Batman can figure out or find. The others in his rogue's gallery have a reason for their vendetta against Gotham. Joker's motivation seems to be that Batman exists at all. I think that's an important aspect of the character that writers need to keep in mind when writing for him. When writing him in general. The best Jokers are the ones who don't have a plan. The one's who confuse Batman to no end. The ones who make you want him to win instead of Batman.
Part the second: Batman's Rogue's Gallery
I think that Batman has always had one of the classiest of Rogue's Galleries out there. This has to do with what Gotham is and when Gotham takes place. Not the stories, but Gotham itself. No matter when, integral parts of Batman cannot leave the 40s when Kane and everyone else created the characters. Gotham is a character in the story and in the Universe. It's a character that encompasses everything else. But as for the villains, some of the villains that give Batman the greatest challenge are the classiest dressed. Not quite the best, but the classiest. The Joker, The Penguin, Two-Face, Solomon Grundy, and The Riddler to name a few. If the Batman U wasn't next to time the way it is people wouldn't accept the villains staying so dressed up. Many of the other big comic book series out there have everyone in spandex or native clothing to their homeland, or something out there. Batman has some of the most down to earth dressed characters, with some of the most whacked out personalities.
In my opinion, his Gallery is one of the most impressive because they're all brilliant. They can't be stupid in what they do. They know their risks, they throw caution to the wind. The know their chance of survival, partially due to Batman's no killing stance. They know he'll never kill them, but they also know he'll beat them to a bloody pulp. They're also brilliant in how they monopolize the lives of so many and in how they systematically harm them. Some of the greatest were listed above, but some of my favorites are Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn and Catwoman. Catwoman is the greatest female villain because she is so wrapped up in Batman and he in her that they can't resit one another, costumed or not.
I think my favorite aspect of the Batman U is that everyone is a human. They're marred humans, but humans none the less. They don't have super powers, they have abnormalities created by science and the real world that make it ever more acceptable.
Par the Third: Short Comings
Yes, I do love and adore the newest Batman, but there is something missing. There's a feeling, a tast of something missing from the movie. There are also a few too many threads in the movie. They could have introduced Dent without Lau. I think Dent in court as the DA for the mob would have been fine without adding in Lau. He was a bit of an unnecessary complication in my opinion.
There were also a few strings in the over all story that could have been cleared up a bit better.
They could have displayed Gordon's family interaction a bit more than just after his return home and saving them. Lau's presence.
Things would have been just as entertaining and simple if there was just Batman, Joker, Harvey, the mob and the socital stance on Batman which is always important to the series. But I still love the movie. It can't be compared to Iron Man because though both movies were about superheroes, they were on two different aspects of heroism, their motivation is entirely different, their execution of being a hero and the over all feeling of both films were different. Iron Man overall was a lot more light hearted than Batman was. That's just how both movies are. I love them both for different reasons.
Last thing: Joker in drag, favorite part ever! Well, the Joker in general. Fave villain after Catwoman. Well, not quite after, but next to. They're awesome for their own reasons and the two of them are upfront in my mind, but everything the Joker was in the movie was amazing. The greatest tragedy of Ledger playing the Joker is that the Joker is such a force in the Gotham underworld that it can't be right without him and whoever puts on the white face paint next won't be right. IT won't work out as well in this entity of Batman. The joker damn near shouldn't be used again until the next endeavor because of what he is to Gotham. Such a power that can't be controlled and can't be the same.
Jasmine P.
July 17, 2008
Displaying my Art
While washing some dishes and playing my usual game of 'If I I Meet A Celebrity, I'll Ask Them These Questions' I was explaining why I was curious for 'one of the harder parts you did in your opinion' instead of 'what is the hardest part you've ever played' because trying to define something as a 'hardest' of any extreme is not easy, and it's not something I condone because verything has it's own difficulties and eases.
I was explaining my wording and relating it to pieces I do. There are things I dislike about most everything I do, and no matter how many things I dislike, there's usually some little thing I like about a piece I've done. And That got me to thinking about why I show people my art.
I don't show people my art to be told 'it's great' because most of my friends are not artists. They think damn near every doodle, every sketch, every finished piece is amazing. I sure as hell don't, not for my art, or anyone else. There are aspects I like. But what I had gotten around to thinking was I show people my art for their reactions. Their responses, questions, understanding, acceptance, confusion. I'm not digging for compliments. I'm digging for responses that I can file away. There are people whom I show my work who most often respond with 'that's nice, but why are you showing me this?' it gives me the chance to explain something I've created, in turn explaining myself, but it gets me away from the 'yes men' who think it's amazing that I an hold a pencil, a pen, anything in such a fashion that I am able to make something out of it.
My line of questioning is more on the aspects of a film, of a project and working on it more so than a laundry list of favorite, least favorite parts. My questioning gave me the 'why' What was a hard aspect of a part? Why? What is something about a past performance you'd want to change? That damn near gives me the 'why' without having to ask it. This question is also fun because actors always want to change and improve a performance, but can't. I think it'd be fun to hear about some of the things they wish to change about their performances, or parts they disliked and wish they hadn't done, or any myriad of things. My list of questions goes on and is probably terribly redundant after a while.
~~~
Part of what got me thinking about this was reading 'A Guide TRYS' the book that inspired the movie. It's interesting to see that Dito didn't so much as write about himself whereas he wrote more about the people around him and his interaction with them, which at the same time says a lot about himself. He's not vain and he loved the people he was around. A Guide is also great because of how it's written. It's not one long narrative, it's written more like how he'd be telling the story to someone else. There are interjections about how a past event made him feel and so forth. That makes it interesting. And the chapters aren't terribly long. It's just about one chapter per interaction. 'Tag' was one chapter, but it was about general tag games, and one special tag game. Nothing's really in chronological order which also makes it interesting to read as time just around.
Reading this was making me think of the movie and commentary with how Dito kind of let the actors do what they would and how things worked. I remember hearing RDJ talking about filming the movie with Dito and how only Dito would make a movie with five acts. Or from Dito talking about how he had the actors really go at it in a scene, like the scene where Young Dito was being beaten up by the Reaper, he told the actors to really wail on LaBeouf for the scene. Or in the retaliation when Antonio attacked the Reaper, Dito told him to hit him as hard as he could upside the back of the head with the prop bat. It made me think about difficulties that actors have with some directors, but also how different directors tackle a movie, or people who aren't 'trained' as directors but become directors.
Did I mention a spoiler warning? Too late.
My point in bringing in Dito's directing style is that letting the actors give everything they could as they saw necessary, as they felt the characters felt gave them a real humanity and at the same time showed a real vulnerability int he actors. It would also prove to be more difficult for everyone involved because it wasn't the lack of directions the actors didn't have, it was showing so much of themselves in these characters. It was a different sort of challenge for the actors to go for it which made it's own difficulties. That lead me to my who thing about my own art because as I pose these questions in my head I give my responses for other people which have little bearing on what their responses would really be because I don't know more than what I've read online or gleamed from commentary or interviews.
Jasmine P.
I was explaining my wording and relating it to pieces I do. There are things I dislike about most everything I do, and no matter how many things I dislike, there's usually some little thing I like about a piece I've done. And That got me to thinking about why I show people my art.
I don't show people my art to be told 'it's great' because most of my friends are not artists. They think damn near every doodle, every sketch, every finished piece is amazing. I sure as hell don't, not for my art, or anyone else. There are aspects I like. But what I had gotten around to thinking was I show people my art for their reactions. Their responses, questions, understanding, acceptance, confusion. I'm not digging for compliments. I'm digging for responses that I can file away. There are people whom I show my work who most often respond with 'that's nice, but why are you showing me this?' it gives me the chance to explain something I've created, in turn explaining myself, but it gets me away from the 'yes men' who think it's amazing that I an hold a pencil, a pen, anything in such a fashion that I am able to make something out of it.
My line of questioning is more on the aspects of a film, of a project and working on it more so than a laundry list of favorite, least favorite parts. My questioning gave me the 'why' What was a hard aspect of a part? Why? What is something about a past performance you'd want to change? That damn near gives me the 'why' without having to ask it. This question is also fun because actors always want to change and improve a performance, but can't. I think it'd be fun to hear about some of the things they wish to change about their performances, or parts they disliked and wish they hadn't done, or any myriad of things. My list of questions goes on and is probably terribly redundant after a while.
~~~
Part of what got me thinking about this was reading 'A Guide TRYS' the book that inspired the movie. It's interesting to see that Dito didn't so much as write about himself whereas he wrote more about the people around him and his interaction with them, which at the same time says a lot about himself. He's not vain and he loved the people he was around. A Guide is also great because of how it's written. It's not one long narrative, it's written more like how he'd be telling the story to someone else. There are interjections about how a past event made him feel and so forth. That makes it interesting. And the chapters aren't terribly long. It's just about one chapter per interaction. 'Tag' was one chapter, but it was about general tag games, and one special tag game. Nothing's really in chronological order which also makes it interesting to read as time just around.
Reading this was making me think of the movie and commentary with how Dito kind of let the actors do what they would and how things worked. I remember hearing RDJ talking about filming the movie with Dito and how only Dito would make a movie with five acts. Or from Dito talking about how he had the actors really go at it in a scene, like the scene where Young Dito was being beaten up by the Reaper, he told the actors to really wail on LaBeouf for the scene. Or in the retaliation when Antonio attacked the Reaper, Dito told him to hit him as hard as he could upside the back of the head with the prop bat. It made me think about difficulties that actors have with some directors, but also how different directors tackle a movie, or people who aren't 'trained' as directors but become directors.
Did I mention a spoiler warning? Too late.
My point in bringing in Dito's directing style is that letting the actors give everything they could as they saw necessary, as they felt the characters felt gave them a real humanity and at the same time showed a real vulnerability int he actors. It would also prove to be more difficult for everyone involved because it wasn't the lack of directions the actors didn't have, it was showing so much of themselves in these characters. It was a different sort of challenge for the actors to go for it which made it's own difficulties. That lead me to my who thing about my own art because as I pose these questions in my head I give my responses for other people which have little bearing on what their responses would really be because I don't know more than what I've read online or gleamed from commentary or interviews.
Jasmine P.
July 16, 2008
Necropolis Writing Challenge
THE CHALLENGE
Use the following:
-a scented candle or oil burner
-a lamp
-a reference to the ocean
-a closet
-you can only use the word "I" 5 times
-keys
-a gate
-the word 'susurrus' (means 'many whispers')
- 1 dazed look
-a dance of some sort (in whatever fashion you choose, silly dancing, an actual gala affair, whatever)
-a quote from a play
-a one word title
------
A little bit of info =D
Originally I was going to use random characters for this, but changed my mind to use Necropolis for this story. Characters can be found here. This world takes place in prose and in comics and images so things end up happening all over their time line. It's quite a fun playground.
A bit of back information to makes things easier. There are two major cities for Necropolis,New York and London
New York London
Zy and Gio have known each other since they were children and met Sol and Don when the summer between 10th and 11th grade. Don who is older than the other three, was always gay and confesses his love to Sol after Sol's 19th birthday, two years after meeting. Sol, after some soul searching, accepts.
InLondon
Both factions met and became friends when Ama was in med school inAmerica
A little bit of info =D
Originally I was going to use random characters for this, but changed my mind to use Necropolis for this story. Characters can be found here. This world takes place in prose and in comics and images so things end up happening all over their time line. It's quite a fun playground.
A bit of back information to makes things easier. There are two major cities for Necropolis,
Zy and Gio have known each other since they were children and met Sol and Don when the summer between 10th and 11th grade. Don who is older than the other three, was always gay and confesses his love to Sol after Sol's 19th birthday, two years after meeting. Sol, after some soul searching, accepts.
In
Both factions met and became friends when Ama was in med school in
I hate choosing surnames so only various character have them, but in the midst of writing this I had to come up with one. David’s surname is Ellis
-----
Celebration
Tia leaned down to kiss David. Their friends and family all cheered for them as they became ‘one’ in matrimony. They had already lit the large candle that represented the flame of their love for one another. The rings had been exchanged and they performed the final acts necessary to unite their lives under the eyes of God. Violet was Tia’s Maid of Honor and Boehmian was David’s Best Man. Their other friends fleshed out their small party on the beach.
“You are now Mr. And Mrs. David Ellis,” the minister said smiling at the two of them. “May your days be long, your lives happy and your children plentiful.”
The happy couple had said their ‘I dos’ one sunny late afternoon in mid July, on a beach in the
They newly married couple walked hand in hand down the aisle and through the gate that separated their individual lives from their unified married life. David looked up as his new bride thinking how gorgeous she looked in her pale lilac gown. She was his everything and he knew he’d be nowhere without her. Sebastian thought he was at his most handsome with his normally green dyed hair in its natural whitish-tan as he promised her it would be for their nuptials. It had been an issue of concern months earlier, but Tia promised him it would be the only time she would make him change his appearance. She wasn’t ashamed or embarrassed by his hair, only the opposite, she loved it natural, and it was springier without the additional color chemicals in it. She was slightly forlorn knowing it would probably be years before she saw it natural again.
The party moved from the beach to a small manse on the island where the reception was being held. There were native flowers decorating the tables and the room had a pleasant flowery and plant smell. The party took this time for photos while classical music and orchestral video game music played in the background. Some of the guests took to the open bar sampling the local rums in various concoctions and kicking off and evening that they probably wouldn’t remember.
Donovan stood with Solomon, the two of them dressed elegantly with white tailed tuxedos, Donovan’s with green accents, Solomon’s with blue. Solomon sipped his drink as he and his lover watched the couple receive their guests.
“Sol, this makes me want a commitment ceremony,” Donovan whispered into Solomon’s ear. They were on equal height now, unlike when they met and Don stood a few inches taller than his younger lover.
The older man hugged his younger half as he started to imagine what they’d look like and how their ceremony would go. His face took on a dreamy quality so he didn’t notice Sol roll his eyes at his lover, but his cheeks redden from how serious he was about their relationship.
Solomon thought about it, pictureing something smaller than Ellis wedding.. Something virtually impossible for the heir of Bonez Corp. but a fantasy none the less. He hadn’t even come out of the closet to his parents. They still only thought that they two young men were nothing but friends. This was something the two were still at odds against, Sol was trying to find the best time to tell his parents that he might not actually provide the family with an heir.
Not too far from the newly married couple Giovanni stood with his girlfriend, mostly happy to be back at her side. He knew she wouldn’t be on Solomon’s arm for long, but was still happy to be back at her side. “You were gorgeous up there. I know what when we get married, you’ll look even better.”
“’When we get married?’ Is that some sort of proposal, now?” Zy asked playing with Giovanni’s hair.
“Nonotreallynghh... But… Engh…Wait, let me ex…yes…no. Ihh,” the young man wanted nothing more than to run for a minute. He was distressed. He wanted to say yes, but he had no ring and nothing to prove what he wanted.
Zanita saw how Giovanni reacted from her teasing and was a little surprised with how flustered he became. “Calm down, Gio. We have to get through school first, don’t worry about it. Relax,” she pulled her boyfriend’s face to hers and kissed his forehead hoping she’d be able to get him to stop worrying. “Before you go and try to get any rings, how about you get me a mojito, and I’ll be right over there with Violet.” Giovanni walked off with a nod to get the drink she wanted. He decided to get a rum and coke while at the bar. It would help.
“’Time eases all things,” Zanita said approaching Violet and giving the taller woman a hug.
“Oedipus Rex.” Violet said responding to a little game the two of them had. One would give a quote, the other, where it was from. “I know, but still.” Violet had spent many years pining for her friend. She was happy for her, but until their kiss she imagined Tia leaving David and getting together with her. Zanita had figured out how Violet felt, which lifted a weight off of Violet’s shoulders having someone to confide in if nothing else.
“There is a luxury in self-reproach. When we blame ourselves, we feel that no one else has a right to blame us. It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution”
“Dorian Gray,” Zanita replied as Giovanni walked up with her drink.
“I should have come here first to get your drink too.” He said feeling bad about not be a better gentleman.
Violet looked at the younger man and smiled. “It’s alright, there’s plenty of time in the evening to drink. Or, I could just swipe yours,” she said right before taking his rum and coke and knocking it back so fast she could barely taste it. The dark rum used in the drink burned, a familiar feeling from drowning her sorrows on other nights. “Now, go be a good boy and get me a rum and coke of my own.”
Giovanni sighed as he did as he was told. Zanita laughed as her boyfriend trotted off to fulfill Violet’s demand. “That wasn’t very nice, you know.”
“But it was funny and I feel a bit better now.” Violet said laughing with her friend.
The newly married couple was far from being finished with receiving their congratulations for their marriage, but they took a break and listened to the susurrus and the din of conversation around them. They laughed at their younger cousins dancing with one another to the music. They shared their own hushed assumptions as to who would be married next out of their close groups of friends. Tia thought Zy and Gio could be next. David though Bo and Ama had more of a chance. Though both supported Don and Sol, it still didn’t seem like the two of them would be together for the long haul. They watched Giovanni and Zanita laughing when Gio got flustered after looking so manly and confidant.
“You, my dear, may be right about them being next.” David said smirking. “You may be right, but they still seem a little young to me. Gio’s only just turned 21, Zy’s going to be 20 for a few months yet.”
“True, but just think of their wedding.” Tia said before turning to a cousin who was apologetic about missing the ceremony and being delayed by a storm out of
David raised an eyebrow. “Tia, they are just like the two of us, except Gio’s still not half as stable we were at his age. Zy would probably end up taking care of most everything.” Sebastian raised an eyebrow as if to say ‘as if it wasn’t me who did most of it’.
“You did most everything, but I had my own bit of influence. Aside from the music,” he said laughing as an orchestral rendition of the Legend of Zelda theme was played by the quartet they had hired.
Sebastian laughed with her husband as the song made her want to play Ocarina of Time for a bit. “I do quite like your lighting choice. Candles create a cozy atmosphere as the evening draws on.” She kissed her hubby, quite happy with how her—how their day had gone.
“Ama, let’s dance,” Bohemien said pulling his lover closer to the musicians where there was a small dance floor.
“Bo, we’re not dancing to a video game song. Or at least wait until the jazz band comes out. I love strings, but little beats a jazz band.” Amadeus said pulling his blind boyfriend back to his side. “If only you could see how good your suit looks on you.” He cooed petting his lover’s cheek with his knuckles.
Bohemien lifted his face toward Amadeus’ placing a soft kiss on his lover’s lips. “As long as you can see me, it’s fine. You’re the only one who matters to me. Well, everyone else matters, but you matter more.”
“The wedding was gorgeous. You were quite handsome up there next to David. Your sister was radiant. Hell, she still is.” Amadeus held the younger man smiling. “Your mother would be proud.”
“Ama, could you go get our gift? It’s upstairs in the closet still.” Bohemien said after a moment thinking about the mother he had until he was 6. “You have your key for the room?”
“It’s in my wallet. Do you want me to take you to your sister, or do you want to rest?” Amadeus asked wanting him to be comfortable until he got back.
Bohemien thought for a moment. “Take me to Tia please. But don’t forget about our dance when the jazz band gets here.”
Amadeus rolled his eyes, smiling. Though Bohemien couldn’t see this, he got the feeling when Amadeus sighed before responding “We will dance when the jazz band is here after dinner. But until then, congratulate your sister.” He said leading one twin back to the other. Their two men stood off to the side as the siblings hugged and had their own moment. “David.”
The gamer looked at the older man, “Hn?”
“You better take good care of my sister over there.” Amadeus said pointing at the twins.
“Ama, you’ve know me for years. You know me! Is this really necessary, we’ve been brothers for a long time now,” David replied almost not believing what Amadeus was saying to him.
“All the more reason to take good care of her. She’s my only sister. Bohemien may not be married to me yet, but she’s my sister, and you’re now my brother.” Amadeus said leaning on the other man, “And as long as you always do right by here, as you have in the past, you’ll be fine. Congratulations. You’re the best things to happen to one another, you know that?”
“Yeah. I’m pretty damn lucky to have here.” David said smiling as some of his friends from
-------------
I do like how this came out over all. Everyone is in character, and pretty appropriate for their ages considering I usually keep them to their younger ages and I don't work with the London crowd as much as the English crowd.
[BTW, this took way to freakin' long to write! 4 hours off and on. maybe 3 working hours.
Jasmine P.
July 8, 2008
Old Dream
YEah, WE we all know I'm known for having some weird fuck dreams.
The first part of my dream involved Gg. There was some weird portal to another world through her house. So, you know, people wandered back and forth. The other world was less technologically advanced, and for some radon at the top of an impossibly tall mountain.The woman's house at the other end of the portal looked like a hell hole. Poor type of hell hole
At some point when I was in the real world, in some parking garage for some reason Robert Downey Jr WAS Iron Man, got his assed kicked by this other guy who had a ring that turned him into different heroes and villains. First he was Gambit, the carton Gambit, then he turned into the Joker, one of his friends was Harley, and he switched around through heroes and villains for a while. [I think he stole a ring that would make the Iron Man armor about RDJ, it was something odd]
He decided to attack RDJ/Iron Man and I happened to be down there so I'm hiding behind cars as best I can. RDJ knows I'm there and is trying to protect me/ get the suit so he can kick some villain ass. Alfred [yup, from Batman] shows up with RDJ's keys, on which is a one way communicator/ tracking device so people know where RDJ is and so when he needs help he can get in contact with Terrance Howard/War Machine. With RDJ distracting the villain, I have the keys and am telling Terrance how to get to where we are and to bring the Iron Man armor, and I try to explain the situation to him and how RDJ is protecting me.
I'm talking into the communicator and say something odd like 'If not for me, do it for RDJ. He's protecting me. He needs the help.' Desperate because the man is on the front line, but he's never really injured.
The villain doesn't know exactly what the keys are, he things they have something to do with calling the suit to us then tries to attack me, but I keep hiding behind cars. I kick him in the balls when he's a super-deformed Joker, I tell him he looks like a retard like that, then I run as War Machine shows up and gives RDJ what he needs to get the Iron Man armor on, it's little and portable now. [I have no idea where it came from-Like a back up ring for the one that was stolen earlier]
They kick ass and I get to hang out with two celebrities for the rest of the day. We're in the other world and RDJ is being challenged to fight for real, without the Armor. He and Terrance both accept the challenge. We're sitting on some hill talking and eating. Jeff Bridges is not to far from me at first, but when RDJ and Terrance sit down behind me he moves. For some reason I take off my glasses, then decided to return RDJ's keys, but in the late afternoon light they both look the same so I squint trying to figure out who's who and finally say 'You're Robert?', Terrance laughs because I was looking at him, well they both laugh, then Robert takes the keys. Embarrassed, my defense was 'I'm not wearing my glasses!'
We continue to talk, the three of us, and I think I ask something about talking at some point and try to get a number or way to contact, but now I can't remember.
We leave the Other World and return to our world. This time leaving we don't him the Portal Keeper's kids, who most people hit as they drive back up the mountain. You wouldn't make it without a car, seriously. RDJ and Terrance disappear at this point and I think we have plans to talk the next day.
I'm walking through Gg's house and the kid who played Nerf in 'A Guide TRYS' is there flirting with, then just plain harassing Gg. I go and stop him, then we get into this weird conversation about knives. I talk about how I need to get a real one, all I have is my X-acto. She tells me she got hers form cigar town.
I leave and stop at the mailbox when I get home. There's a lot of mail. I have a new DVD, and some marble notebook shows up addressed to me. I don't know who it comes from. Dorien gets something in the mail, and then there's random other mail. In the house I'm thinking about the conversation for the next day then I start to wake up and can't fall back to sleep.
~~~
Odd bit of dream I had. Like so many, odd, but I'd have it again, even if I risked my dream life.
Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.
---- don't know why it wasn't properly posted before, but here it is.
The first part of my dream involved Gg. There was some weird portal to another world through her house. So, you know, people wandered back and forth. The other world was less technologically advanced, and for some radon at the top of an impossibly tall mountain.The woman's house at the other end of the portal looked like a hell hole. Poor type of hell hole
At some point when I was in the real world, in some parking garage for some reason Robert Downey Jr WAS Iron Man, got his assed kicked by this other guy who had a ring that turned him into different heroes and villains. First he was Gambit, the carton Gambit, then he turned into the Joker, one of his friends was Harley, and he switched around through heroes and villains for a while. [I think he stole a ring that would make the Iron Man armor about RDJ, it was something odd]
He decided to attack RDJ/Iron Man and I happened to be down there so I'm hiding behind cars as best I can. RDJ knows I'm there and is trying to protect me/ get the suit so he can kick some villain ass. Alfred [yup, from Batman] shows up with RDJ's keys, on which is a one way communicator/ tracking device so people know where RDJ is and so when he needs help he can get in contact with Terrance Howard/War Machine. With RDJ distracting the villain, I have the keys and am telling Terrance how to get to where we are and to bring the Iron Man armor, and I try to explain the situation to him and how RDJ is protecting me.
I'm talking into the communicator and say something odd like 'If not for me, do it for RDJ. He's protecting me. He needs the help.' Desperate because the man is on the front line, but he's never really injured.
The villain doesn't know exactly what the keys are, he things they have something to do with calling the suit to us then tries to attack me, but I keep hiding behind cars. I kick him in the balls when he's a super-deformed Joker, I tell him he looks like a retard like that, then I run as War Machine shows up and gives RDJ what he needs to get the Iron Man armor on, it's little and portable now. [I have no idea where it came from-Like a back up ring for the one that was stolen earlier]
They kick ass and I get to hang out with two celebrities for the rest of the day. We're in the other world and RDJ is being challenged to fight for real, without the Armor. He and Terrance both accept the challenge. We're sitting on some hill talking and eating. Jeff Bridges is not to far from me at first, but when RDJ and Terrance sit down behind me he moves. For some reason I take off my glasses, then decided to return RDJ's keys, but in the late afternoon light they both look the same so I squint trying to figure out who's who and finally say 'You're Robert?', Terrance laughs because I was looking at him, well they both laugh, then Robert takes the keys. Embarrassed, my defense was 'I'm not wearing my glasses!'
We continue to talk, the three of us, and I think I ask something about talking at some point and try to get a number or way to contact, but now I can't remember.
We leave the Other World and return to our world. This time leaving we don't him the Portal Keeper's kids, who most people hit as they drive back up the mountain. You wouldn't make it without a car, seriously. RDJ and Terrance disappear at this point and I think we have plans to talk the next day.
I'm walking through Gg's house and the kid who played Nerf in 'A Guide TRYS' is there flirting with, then just plain harassing Gg. I go and stop him, then we get into this weird conversation about knives. I talk about how I need to get a real one, all I have is my X-acto. She tells me she got hers form cigar town.
I leave and stop at the mailbox when I get home. There's a lot of mail. I have a new DVD, and some marble notebook shows up addressed to me. I don't know who it comes from. Dorien gets something in the mail, and then there's random other mail. In the house I'm thinking about the conversation for the next day then I start to wake up and can't fall back to sleep.
~~~
Odd bit of dream I had. Like so many, odd, but I'd have it again, even if I risked my dream life.
Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.
---- don't know why it wasn't properly posted before, but here it is.
July 3, 2008
Guides, Saints and Friends
July 3rd, 2008 -10.15 pm – 10.50pm
I just finished watching ‘A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints’ I’ll call it ‘Guide’. Spoilers
I have many things to say, so many thoughts running rampant through my head. No rhyme or reason. My response to the movie, to life at the moment, to where I am in what I’m doing with my life.
I haven’t cried when watching a movie since I saw ‘Finding Neverland’ last summer when I realized that the mother died. Before that, I don’t know. I cried today when Mike, Mik, died. I loved him. His accent, his personality, the fact that he was a clean, upright personality in the hello that Dito had to live with. Mik was something positive. Mike was something kind and new. Mik wanted to stop the violence and get Dito out. They had to get away rom the insanity before things got to deep, but before they could. Before they could get out of New York Mik was shot down. He died a senseless death. His death, the only good thing Dito had in his life was gone. Mik was a future, a positive future. That had to have been hard to write and harder to film.
Loss. Loss of what’s good in one’s life is quite devastating. I think about my loss. The magnum opus of loss in my short 19.5 years of life, 19.6, I don’t know, don’t care. Last year everything changed. I changed in an instant. I say I have no regrets. That used to be true. My one regret from everything I done is how I interacted with my mother. If I could go back, knowing what I know, I’d try to lie less. I’m a terrible liar anyway, I don’t know why people believe me. I mean, I can be brutally honest, tactfully honest unless I’m going to get hurt, then It’s everyman for himself and I lie terribly.
My regret is that she’s dead. She’ll never get to see me as an adult. She won’t be able to see me as what I’ll become. She only knew me as the fuck up I was, the fuck up I am. I keep saying I’m brilliant, but if I’m so smart, why don’t I pass my classes? If I’m so smart, why don’t I go after what I know will help everything. I regret that she won’t be able to see me in 15 years, she won’t be able to see my great ‘return’ afte I’ve made something of myself.
In Guide, Dito left
It’s cold. It’s the truth. He’s one of the few, one of the many who doesn’t know this. I don’t care. He doesn’t care about me, why should I care about him? I can’t change because he’ll never live up to even the most minimalistic expectations. All I want, all I want ot expect is to be truly cared about. That’s what I want. That’s something I’ll never have every again. Well, not for a while. I know my first boyfriend will care, but it’s won’t be the same. I want my mother. She’ll never see how strong I’ve become. She was the most important person in my life for 18.5 years and she still is. Her memory, everything. I miss her, I need to settle things. So much is buried. I need someone with the shovel to dig it out. I need someone to get in here with me and help me back out. Not a shrink, something more visceral, a true connection to fix everything.
On the flip side of my mom not seeing what I’ll become is that fact that everything changed last year. If she were still alive I’d be a very different person. I’d grow to be some sort of adult that wouldn’t be what I’ll turn into. I pray that what I end up as though, is something she’d be proud of. Be it a botanist, or be it a comic artist.
~~~
Today started out as a good day. I was up at 7.17, too used to working for going to the USBG, but that’s alright. I woke, read, fucked around on the internet. Whatever. Went to the store then hung out with Alex for a while. Good times, most of which were caught on tape.
I truly don’t know if there’s anyone I trust more on this earth. The most trustworthy, the best friend ever. More than a friend. I said this before, I wouldn’t be the same without him. I can’t think of not knowing him anymore. Ridiculous for someone I met only 2.5 years ago. First day of junior year, a blonde head sitting a few rows back in 11th grade English. Beauchmin’s class, then a blond head witting in the back of Warstler’s history class. That’s when it all really began, in History of the
I think about the people I know at school. The two most important, Glenn and Elizabeth. I regret my mom not knowing what I’ll end up as a result of my knowing these people. All my regrets are her not seeing what I’ll become in the future. I have plans, I have dreams and I have a path to follow and I don’t know where it leads, but I –
I think about the video Alex and I made today, mostly playing with the camera more than anything serious. Some great things were said, some great things happened. Things you have to be there for. I think about the future and looking back at out stupid actions. I think about the fact that a year ago I wouldn’t have done half of what I did in that video, half of what I do on a normal daily basis right now. Random touches, random hugs, relying on someone else. ‘My life revolves around Alex’ he said what amounted to that. Scarily enough, that has a shred of seriousness even if said in jest.
God grant me the strength to accept the things I can’t change. –RDJ ‘Broken’
I trust other people on the spot, but this is more than trust. A sort of reliance. But, there is the fact that nothing more is possible for the two of us. A sexual relationship wouldn’t solve anything, it wouldn’t’ break anything, but it wouldn’t solve anything.
A year ago I would not randomly hug people. A year ago I would not let my self get to close. I’m more vulnerable in some ways, more closed off in others. I have things that need to be taken care of, things that will be taken care of.
It’s been a while, I can’t quite remember everything that sparked this, but there is more. Somewhere.
Guide was interesting. It spoke volumes. Dramas always make me internalize, they make me look at what I’m doing. They make me question life and what I’ve done, what I will do.
There’s more to this, to be written some other time. I’ve lost it. It won’t be back for a while. Maybe I’ll be less morose then, or maybe I need to be morose for it to feel real.
June 30, 2008
Quotes
I don't try to find quotes, they happen to be everywhere I am.
~~~~
There's a tacit agreement in the nation today that the white male is the only legitimate target for any and all satire, criticism, and so forth. And we pretty much just accept it. -Jack Nicholson
When I look at a face I am constantly drawn to someone's eyes. Eyes are important. If I'm actually looking at you, chances are I'm looking at your eyes-Me
We're still trying to ascribe predictable patterns to the most wonderfully chaotic fucking fountain droplets ever, which is the individual. -Robert Downey Jr.
I am that guy, but I'm also not the fuckin' story. - Robert Downey Jr.
Contact isn't 'I fuckin' see you in the morning and at night and we talk during the day' That's just fucking proximity. What's the Cosa Nostra element? What do we share that you can't get from anyone else but me? -RDJ
Is this supposed to be a natural conversation, because with cameras, tape recorders and reporters, it's hard to be natural. -Jov Favreau
Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.
~~~~
There's a tacit agreement in the nation today that the white male is the only legitimate target for any and all satire, criticism, and so forth. And we pretty much just accept it. -Jack Nicholson
When I look at a face I am constantly drawn to someone's eyes. Eyes are important. If I'm actually looking at you, chances are I'm looking at your eyes-Me
We're still trying to ascribe predictable patterns to the most wonderfully chaotic fucking fountain droplets ever, which is the individual. -Robert Downey Jr.
I am that guy, but I'm also not the fuckin' story. - Robert Downey Jr.
Contact isn't 'I fuckin' see you in the morning and at night and we talk during the day' That's just fucking proximity. What's the Cosa Nostra element? What do we share that you can't get from anyone else but me? -RDJ
Is this supposed to be a natural conversation, because with cameras, tape recorders and reporters, it's hard to be natural. -Jov Favreau
Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.
June 27, 2008
Throwback
So, I found one of my notebooks from a few years back with some observational things, and because i never really read what I write, transcribing it could prove interesting, to me, if no one else.
This is written exactly as I' written it years ago. No editing for grammar, structure or punctuation.
I can't finish this...it's too idiotic. I don't even care what my point was then. And I couldn't spell Britain. This is about half of what I had from that night I assume. C'est la vie. I'll have something here later. After sleep.
Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.
This is written exactly as I' written it years ago. No editing for grammar, structure or punctuation.
Thoughts on Languages
May 2, 04
I don't think that there are so many different languages. I think that there is one master 'language' of meaning that represents names and words in out facts of language. If this theory (with no evidence) is true humans, animals, computers and any and everything on earth, in space, this reality and realm all speak the same language, but each has a different understnaidng of it.
One example of this theoryis between present-day-British-English and present-day-Northern-American-English. Take the flat, doughy, usually sweet treat Americans call a 'cookie'; go to England, Great Britian, and the same flat, doughy usually sweet treat and you'll find it may also go by the name 'biscuit' and not 'cookie--
I can't finish this...it's too idiotic. I don't even care what my point was then. And I couldn't spell Britain. This is about half of what I had from that night I assume. C'est la vie. I'll have something here later. After sleep.
Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.
June 26, 2008
Movies
Okay, since I'm obsessing over KKBB and movies at the moment this is well timed.
Firstly, I love movie commentary. If I buy my camera [and I will, dammit!] whatever movies I make will feature commentary, mine and Za's since she'll probably be in half of what I make, and whoever else wants to comment on my videos.
Commentary is fun, it tells a lot about the behind the scenes of a movie and if there is character/actor commentary and not just director and writer commentary, it's even better. Actor commentary is the most fun because they're usually incredibly vain, or their general reaction to their fellow actor's performances. You learn a lot about the actors themselves and they just enhance the fun of the movie.
One of my other things about movies are how much fun is sounds like the actors have on set. The jokes and such. I guess it's the same general bullshit that happens between me and my friends, but it just sounds like so much fun, and for it to be on video, that's like a second bit of awesome and amazing because all that shit you say off the top of your head, you can hear it again later and it just plain sounds like fun.
Over on facebook my status says/said I wanted a youthifier. Actually, I want the Youthifier 2.0, the 1.0 version only lasted 1 minute before the 2.0 was created, but there is a reason for this. It's quite annoying to adore an actor who's old enough you be your father, but part of the charm of an actor is their age, their intellect, so a Youthifier make them younger than they are, but leaves their mind, their mentality, their intellect where it is for their age which helps them you keep their awesome, part of it at least.
The first Youthifier was a doorway, one way through de-ages the person. The Youthifier 2.0 is a gun instead of a doorway, so you point and shoot, causing the physicality of their body to get younger.
Regretfully this is only for flings. A few hours hanging out. Truthfully, I wouldn't want long term interaction, but for a while it would be quite fun, but they have the right to be as awesome and sexy as always, so they must be returned at some point, so I'd need an Ager to return things back to normal.
Okay, so I'm watching Batman at the moment, but my question is why does the Riddler give Batman clues to foil him? I mean, it's like Superman telling Lex Luther 'Hi, just so you know, whenever you decide to kick my ass just surround me in Kryptonite <3'>
New question, how the fuck does Batman just know 64 squared off the top of his head? [4096, if you're curious] Don't ask why I'm so hyper critical at the moment, but what I'm saying is true. If the Riddler really wanted Gordon to die, or whatever, he wouldn't have brought Batman back.
Back to the jaw thing, cap him in his face. I mean they catch him and tie him up all the time, but never manage to kill him. Batman had living chess long before Harry Potter did.
So, back to the whole movie thing, well, the Youthifier first. It'd be fun, but then again I've also said I'd be fine with just a general conversation with various celebrities. The Youthifier would be for...something else. Not too dirty, but it would be nice. Less guilty for making out and the like. But seriously, a conversation would be fun, I'd even let them ask the questions. Let them know what they would about me instead of me knowing what I would about them. Unless they wanted to just tell me about every aspect of their lives that I would think of questioning.
The whole inspiration for the Youthifier came from waking up this morning and trying to not feel guilty about feeling attracted to someone twice my age. Then I decided to make them my age and I figured out how. The Youthifier, a doorway to making them my age, but keeping their mind and everything they know that makes them sexy.
After logically thinking that getting someone to walk through a random fuck doorway and not walking through with them it needed an upgrade into something a lot more logical to be using, so I made it into a gun instead. The Youthifier 2.0. At some point there may be a 3.0, but I don't know. I kind of want to draw it in action, too bad I can't draw real people with the skill it requires for them to look like whoever I'm trying to draw.
I had some other movie obsessiveness, but Batman distracted me, and now I can't remember what else I was going to say. But still, 'yay' for sexy actors. Wow, this is more something like I'd post in LJ, this gets to go to LJ anyway. Fuck it
Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.
Firstly, I love movie commentary. If I buy my camera [and I will, dammit!] whatever movies I make will feature commentary, mine and Za's since she'll probably be in half of what I make, and whoever else wants to comment on my videos.
Commentary is fun, it tells a lot about the behind the scenes of a movie and if there is character/actor commentary and not just director and writer commentary, it's even better. Actor commentary is the most fun because they're usually incredibly vain, or their general reaction to their fellow actor's performances. You learn a lot about the actors themselves and they just enhance the fun of the movie.
One of my other things about movies are how much fun is sounds like the actors have on set. The jokes and such. I guess it's the same general bullshit that happens between me and my friends, but it just sounds like so much fun, and for it to be on video, that's like a second bit of awesome and amazing because all that shit you say off the top of your head, you can hear it again later and it just plain sounds like fun.
Over on facebook my status says/said I wanted a youthifier. Actually, I want the Youthifier 2.0, the 1.0 version only lasted 1 minute before the 2.0 was created, but there is a reason for this. It's quite annoying to adore an actor who's old enough you be your father, but part of the charm of an actor is their age, their intellect, so a Youthifier make them younger than they are, but leaves their mind, their mentality, their intellect where it is for their age which helps them you keep their awesome, part of it at least.
The first Youthifier was a doorway, one way through de-ages the person. The Youthifier 2.0 is a gun instead of a doorway, so you point and shoot, causing the physicality of their body to get younger.
Regretfully this is only for flings. A few hours hanging out. Truthfully, I wouldn't want long term interaction, but for a while it would be quite fun, but they have the right to be as awesome and sexy as always, so they must be returned at some point, so I'd need an Ager to return things back to normal.
Okay, so I'm watching Batman at the moment, but my question is why does the Riddler give Batman clues to foil him? I mean, it's like Superman telling Lex Luther 'Hi, just so you know, whenever you decide to kick my ass just surround me in Kryptonite <3'>
New question, how the fuck does Batman just know 64 squared off the top of his head? [4096, if you're curious] Don't ask why I'm so hyper critical at the moment, but what I'm saying is true. If the Riddler really wanted Gordon to die, or whatever, he wouldn't have brought Batman back.
Back to the jaw thing, cap him in his face. I mean they catch him and tie him up all the time, but never manage to kill him. Batman had living chess long before Harry Potter did.
So, back to the whole movie thing, well, the Youthifier first. It'd be fun, but then again I've also said I'd be fine with just a general conversation with various celebrities. The Youthifier would be for...something else. Not too dirty, but it would be nice. Less guilty for making out and the like. But seriously, a conversation would be fun, I'd even let them ask the questions. Let them know what they would about me instead of me knowing what I would about them. Unless they wanted to just tell me about every aspect of their lives that I would think of questioning.
The whole inspiration for the Youthifier came from waking up this morning and trying to not feel guilty about feeling attracted to someone twice my age. Then I decided to make them my age and I figured out how. The Youthifier, a doorway to making them my age, but keeping their mind and everything they know that makes them sexy.
After logically thinking that getting someone to walk through a random fuck doorway and not walking through with them it needed an upgrade into something a lot more logical to be using, so I made it into a gun instead. The Youthifier 2.0. At some point there may be a 3.0, but I don't know. I kind of want to draw it in action, too bad I can't draw real people with the skill it requires for them to look like whoever I'm trying to draw.
I had some other movie obsessiveness, but Batman distracted me, and now I can't remember what else I was going to say. But still, 'yay' for sexy actors. Wow, this is more something like I'd post in LJ, this gets to go to LJ anyway. Fuck it
Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
