Friends.

Friend. Friends. Friendships.

I keep saying to my college buddies that they should meet some of my high school buddies, and vice versa. Trust me, i wouldn't say something like that lightly. I value my friends a hell of a lot more than any of them realize so saying i want them to meet is a big deal in my mind. There are just people whom i think would work out well together, and other whom i think it'd be interesting if they met. Amusing even. this is also up there with the fact that I want to stay connected with everyone. It's not that much fun that any/all time we end up spending together back home is half trying to fill in people in funny things from the past semester. But the problem with living in the present with people you don't see for any time from one month to three is that we all grow and change. The jokes are old and the new jokes make no sense.

Only two people get and will laugh if I jut my bottom row of teeth out tuck my upper lip behind them. A hand full of people with get it if I say 'thuper arthistic' and having to designate all people with repeat names gets old sometimes, but every one i knew before college is still important to me because of how much i grew from hanging out with them. But the people from college are also important because there is another aspect of life to look at, different growth and more changes.

Part of what i'm saying is that I don't like living in the past for daydreaming about the future when i'll see people who aren't around every day. It's be cool if everyone knew one another, but I'm fine with that not being the case, but what i think i really want to change the most is how much interaction I still have with people who aren't right next to me.

I seriously don't want to lose my old friend connections due to the fact that we're all a few hours away from one another. There are reasons for my phone calls and for my not leaving a message. I hate answering machines and truly only leave messages if I think it's absolutely necessary. I'd rather get in contact with you than with your voice mail.

I don't know. I just want some sort of assurance that in ten years that when I think about people from now that it's not just in the past tense, but also in the present and future with what we'll be doing when we still hang out. I don't want a guarantee because broken promises are more painful and annoying to deal with, but even a compromise that we'll both try not to seriously lose touch with one another is good enough to please me.

i want to be 20 years, 30 years meet up with you and know we'll still be friends enough that the meetings won't be awkward. i want to be close enough still that when we talk about what we were, are like at 18, 19, 20 that we can all laugh and share the stupid secrets we can't say now. i want to be able to say, 'that's my friend on stage' then go back stage in the theater and see you. All of you, or say 'I was there when they filmed that' or something stupid.

I'm no so much afraid of not meeting new people, but I want to stay in contact with people from now so that in the future other friends I have may be able to meet some of you also and will be able to hear the stupid stories i won't tell them. There will have to be someone to tell my kids about the stupid things i did in college, from stay up for 72+ hours with another friend to late night peep-jousting and whatever the hell else I do in my future years here.

I want my college and high school friends to meet so they can then understand how I've changed and what they all mean to me. That's something I'll never be able to fully express nor explain, but I want people to meet so when i tell the stories there's something more than my photos of what happened to tell the stories, but also actually meeting ...

i don't know how to finish this. I've sort of lost my train of thought, but i think you all get the message. i don't want to lose you no matter how much time passes. We can change and whatever, but if we can still kick back, play some Wii and reminisce about when it came out and what we're like now that's cool.

Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.