Christmas has the stereotypical traditions of opening presents Christmas morning. Spending time with the family, decorating and all that jolly TV Christmas bullshit. With my family our traditions were more along the lines of a bad Christmas comedy, but instead of a myriad of issues for the entirety of the break, there were usually 1 or 2 per winter. Or things weren't really issues, but different from the American Norm. for Christmas.
Christmas 2006: We decided to stay in Reston because our mother didn't want to make the long distance ride from VA to NY and back so we stayed down there and the family came to the house instead. This was also our last Christmas with mom.
Christmas 2005: We decide to open our presents late on Christmas Eve then drive up to New York mad early on the 25th to celebrate Christmas a second time with the NY relatives.
Christmas 2001: This is the Christmas before my Grandfather died. It was either over Christmas or Thanksgiving break he fell ill, so we kind of packed up late so we could drive up here to see him for the holiday. The traffic was hell, it took up something like 14 hours to get here. We stopped once because I had to use the bathroom and the winter iced over so much we couldn't just chip it off, we had to wait for the window to melt enough before we left the rest stop.
On other Christmas trips me and Dor would be packed into the back of the Buick with presents for the three of us, and for the family all around us. We'd get up here stiff legged from having no space to move for the entirety of the 4 hour drive.
This has all been just a really elaborate segue for Christmas 2007: The Trip.
So, we're moving along fine enough, but once we hit the Jersey Turnpike there was construction going on on one of the overpasses so we have to take a detour. This shit happened at about 5 this morning, I was pissed because the sucky road woke me up. Any who, we get off of 95 somewhere round the whereabouts of some road on Kings Street or something, I can't quite remember that one, I kind of went back to sleep on the first thirty minutes that we weren't where we wanted to be. When I woke up we were in the middle of possibly Trenton, NJ as we kept seeing signs for or about Trenton. When I realized we were in Jersey out of boredom I looked around for the Absolute Fencing Gear store. It was 5.30 and I hadn't quite fallen back to sleep yet. I'm not quite sure which road we were on, but we eventually pass a sign that says 'Princeton'. This amused me because of what Glenn said about not wanted to drive to Jersey. I laughed at Glenn in my head for a moment as we continued on not I-95. We eventually got to US1, I don't know what US1 is, but we were on that bitch for a long time. We eventually crossed a bridge that lead us to Newark and from there we got into the Bronx safely. I ended up going back to sleep until we stopped somewhere up here and the cold coming into the car woke me up.
So, Christmas 2007 hasn't even quite started and we've ha one interesting trip.
Maybe this type of story is what Glenn was talking about when he said I have the best stories about my brothers. I think his stories are more interesting than mine, but I also know all my stories back to front, and front to back. Well, let's see where break takes us this time. Last time I saw the Empire State Building, this time I got a mini-half-assed tour of Jersey. We'll just see.
~~
I actually just remembered the best/worst part of our Christmas Tradition. My Mom and Aunt Cheryl staying up all night trying to finish wrapping our gifts. We would always have to wait until they woke up after they stayed up until like...3, 4, 5 am. It was always funny, but annoying, but it happens damn near every year. For as long as I can remember they've been doing this shit, and my Aunt just said how she was going to have everything wrapped early today, and failed so she's going to be up half the night wrapping gifts for people.
~~
Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.
December 24, 2007
December 23, 2007
Conversations I'm Never Going To Have
So wordy...but that's what I call them.
So, these Contemplations and Observations I bring up about any/everything that comes to mind are all rooted in my trying to explain the methods of my madness to others and playing through the whole scenario in my head. It's not always done in words, sometimes it's 'written' in emotion and color as I imagine how an event would feel. Other times they're fully scripted, but then I run until complications as I rationalize not going through with whatever I'd just played out in my mind.
A common one could go as such in my head/ has gone like such in my head:
- Guy 1 and I are friends
- I like Guy 1.
- I think about telling Guy 1 I like him.
-I tell Guy 1 I like him.
- Guy 1 responds positively and we're a fluffy couple (as I've yet to even experience this, I won't imagine much further atm.)
Same situation could also end like this:
-Guy 1 and I are friends
- I like Guy 1.
- I think about telling Guy 1 I like him.
-I tell Guy 1 I like him.
-Guy 1 responds negatively
- My and Guy 1 are not friends anymore
- I spiral into depression over NOT having a FRIEND [he's not even anything and I'm spiraling into depression, yeah...]
Another scenario could go as follows:
- I decide to explain where my obsession with [insert fandom] comes from
- I explain my beliefs and state both sides of the argument for and against said fandom
-Person 2 is still confused so I think of another way to say the same thing
- Person 2 is still confused so I thin of a third analogy
- Person 2 gets it, but still doesn't understand why I like said fandom
-I give up and pretend nothing happened at all
[This actually happens in real life, not usually with fandoms, but other things/activities. I can't think of a specific example atm.
These 'conversations' that I have are based off of some recent interaction, or my bored longings for interaction. If I don't have music I tend to let my mind wander and get to these sorts of topics and explanations. Everything I say in response for the people I'm basing their reactions/responses/types of responses on real reactions and conversations I've had with people. I know how my friends would respond in certain situations which is why/how I'm able to go through these in relation to certain friends. They'd be nice about things, but I also know I can't predict everything.
I think these conversations started off as 'what if' games to entertain myself when I didn't have paper, or as something to do when I had to play alone and not with my brothers as a child. It's something I started as a way to retreat into myself and not have to interact with others.
Sadly now it's something I do to run away from interaction sometimes. I also go through these scenarios before I talk to people I don't know, and I usually end up with bad outcomes because I'm a bit of a pessimist sometimes.
You know, I really don't know where I was going with this one. I wasn't quite inspired as I was for the one on observations themselves, but I have been thinking over these conversations because I keep playing these mind games to cheer myself up, but sometimes they only make things worse. I think I need to talk to some one for real, even over aim or the phone just so it's not my and my imagination anymore.
I'm tired of living all alone on this godforsaken island, but there's no one around to help me off.
Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.
So, these Contemplations and Observations I bring up about any/everything that comes to mind are all rooted in my trying to explain the methods of my madness to others and playing through the whole scenario in my head. It's not always done in words, sometimes it's 'written' in emotion and color as I imagine how an event would feel. Other times they're fully scripted, but then I run until complications as I rationalize not going through with whatever I'd just played out in my mind.
A common one could go as such in my head/ has gone like such in my head:
- Guy 1 and I are friends
- I like Guy 1.
- I think about telling Guy 1 I like him.
-I tell Guy 1 I like him.
- Guy 1 responds positively and we're a fluffy couple (as I've yet to even experience this, I won't imagine much further atm.)
Same situation could also end like this:
-Guy 1 and I are friends
- I like Guy 1.
- I think about telling Guy 1 I like him.
-I tell Guy 1 I like him.
-Guy 1 responds negatively
- My and Guy 1 are not friends anymore
- I spiral into depression over NOT having a FRIEND [he's not even anything and I'm spiraling into depression, yeah...]
Another scenario could go as follows:
- I decide to explain where my obsession with [insert fandom] comes from
- I explain my beliefs and state both sides of the argument for and against said fandom
-Person 2 is still confused so I think of another way to say the same thing
- Person 2 is still confused so I thin of a third analogy
- Person 2 gets it, but still doesn't understand why I like said fandom
-I give up and pretend nothing happened at all
[This actually happens in real life, not usually with fandoms, but other things/activities. I can't think of a specific example atm.
These 'conversations' that I have are based off of some recent interaction, or my bored longings for interaction. If I don't have music I tend to let my mind wander and get to these sorts of topics and explanations. Everything I say in response for the people I'm basing their reactions/responses/types of responses on real reactions and conversations I've had with people. I know how my friends would respond in certain situations which is why/how I'm able to go through these in relation to certain friends. They'd be nice about things, but I also know I can't predict everything.
I think these conversations started off as 'what if' games to entertain myself when I didn't have paper, or as something to do when I had to play alone and not with my brothers as a child. It's something I started as a way to retreat into myself and not have to interact with others.
Sadly now it's something I do to run away from interaction sometimes. I also go through these scenarios before I talk to people I don't know, and I usually end up with bad outcomes because I'm a bit of a pessimist sometimes.
You know, I really don't know where I was going with this one. I wasn't quite inspired as I was for the one on observations themselves, but I have been thinking over these conversations because I keep playing these mind games to cheer myself up, but sometimes they only make things worse. I think I need to talk to some one for real, even over aim or the phone just so it's not my and my imagination anymore.
I'm tired of living all alone on this godforsaken island, but there's no one around to help me off.
Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.
December 22, 2007
Observations
As both an artist and as a scientist my primary objective is to observe the world around me. That is the extent to which these two career paths are similar. As an artist my job is to record the world as I see it. As a scientist my job is to understand why the world is the way it is and possibly to change it for my own personal gain and interest.
The things that I have most enjoyed observing in the world around me is people. Simple and complex interaction between people and the things a person does that they don't think about. It's interesting to categorize or to find similarities between how two people who have never, and may never ever meet.
Diane, a smallish friend of mine has a few interesting similarities to Laurie, another smallish friend of mine. Physically the two of them are about 5'5"/4", slender, barely hitting 100lbs, they both need glasses. Personality and habit wise both of them are easy to get into 'laughing over incredibly dorky things' mode they had a similar laugh. Not in the sound but in the things they do when why laugh or are amused by something. If they think of something funny they have to stop the conversation and share their humor. I was amused when I realized that Diane and Laurie could damn near be the same person, albeit a few key differences in age and blah blah blah but that amused me.
Habits I notice. Whilst talking to Diane I noticed she has a habit of putting her pinky finger underneath her nose when resting her face in her hand. It's like she's giving herself the appearance of having a moustache a random and odd habit she never really notices doing until someone brings it up. I have a habit of stroking my chin as if I had a beard. I notice that I do that, or that I rest my chin in my hand as if I had a beard. Topher, down in Norfolk, has a habit of keeping his hands in motion. One of the simplest ways for him to do this is to continually flip something in his hand against the table. So like a cellphone or a remote it's flipping it, sliding his fingers down the body and flipping once more. This is a habit I also do so I can explain it.
Aside from noticing habits about people I notice physical traits about them. The things I detailed in another journal here, or maybe just as a note on facebook about the things I notice when I draw cartoons of people. Teeth, eyes, common hair styles, the things people wear or the types of things. Back in September CR often wore tee shirts, black sweat pants, and sandals. I often wore gauchos, tees, light jackets, hat. Glenn, most of the time I saw him he was wearing button ups, sometimes jackets, khakis/jeans, dress shoes. Alex apparently now often seems to wear his cap [i don't know the name of the style] Shirt, sport coat, jeans. Nora often wore/wears sweater, green pea coat, jeans and has her green shoulder bag with her.
This journal does have serious inspiration. I'd picked up January's Esquire to read because of an article called 'What I Learned' where they interviewed various celebrities over the course of their lifetimes. it's made up of bits and pieces of quotes and this is the one that sparked my thoughts on observation and observing people, places, things.
Back in September I told Glenn "I don't go out to eat for the food, but the food is goo, I go out to eat for the conversation." When we're out to eat, It's an excellent time to observe people in a large group. It's easy to focus on the physical, the tangible about a person. Facial expressions, their voice, vocal intonations. When I think about people in my mind they are a combination of the key points to their appearance, [a rough skin tone, they're hair/hat, their clothes and colors] and it's their voice. I have different 'tracks' for everyone, different things they said that I remember. Not always for what they said, but how they said it. I can remember how two different people say the same damn thing, but the differences in their inflections makes it stand out. I can think of both Nick G. and Anthony P. and hears the differences in how both of them say 'Oh yeah'. Nick's more of a slow drawl type of recollection as he then uses this as a segue into another thought or story. Anthony's quicker pondering, then his dismissal of the topic as he makes a joke or moves onto his next thought.
Hell, I can 'hear' how different people say my name, the intonation they use for different emotions or even the motion I tied into when they said something. There's Alex L.'s whiny use of my name as we're both carrying on with some stupid joke and he's whining about whatever we're both going to laugh at. My father's angry use of 'Jaz-MIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEN' when when he'd be mad at me from when I was younger over messing up something or annoying him in any way. Yenec's drawl from when he greets me and Lizabeth at Borjo [which I'm seriously missing at the moment, both Yenec and the coffeehouse]. Mig's use of Jazz from about twenty minutes ago, Glenn's use of Jazz from some time ago. The use of 'Jazz' to get my attention because of how rare it is, and the fact that you have to be allowed to call me most anything other than Jasmine that I won't scowl at. Allison's cheerful response on the phone and many others. These aren't things I think to file away, but they're things that I have.
I observe the world around me to such an extent that it is second nature to file thought about people's habits away in my mind. I also file away how others things and where they stand for conversation. Diane is good for cheering me up and for serious conversation. As are Glenn, CR and Alex. Diane is also great for dirty jokes, and bouncing artistic ideas off of when I need someone to talk dirty with. Lizabeth is good for random girl talk and venting. Glenn is good for venting and certain imaginative contemplations. Eliana is great for random talk. Nora is good for keeping me rooted into the ground and on this Earth, no matter how far out my mind wants to cast. CR is good for silly random fun conversation and for serious conversation, well, he kicks ass at listening when I try to think through things.
I don't know where I'm going or where I went anymore. The basic thing is I like to observe people and there are different aspects that I observe and retain.
Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.
The things that I have most enjoyed observing in the world around me is people. Simple and complex interaction between people and the things a person does that they don't think about. It's interesting to categorize or to find similarities between how two people who have never, and may never ever meet.
Diane, a smallish friend of mine has a few interesting similarities to Laurie, another smallish friend of mine. Physically the two of them are about 5'5"/4", slender, barely hitting 100lbs, they both need glasses. Personality and habit wise both of them are easy to get into 'laughing over incredibly dorky things' mode they had a similar laugh. Not in the sound but in the things they do when why laugh or are amused by something. If they think of something funny they have to stop the conversation and share their humor. I was amused when I realized that Diane and Laurie could damn near be the same person, albeit a few key differences in age and blah blah blah but that amused me.
Habits I notice. Whilst talking to Diane I noticed she has a habit of putting her pinky finger underneath her nose when resting her face in her hand. It's like she's giving herself the appearance of having a moustache a random and odd habit she never really notices doing until someone brings it up. I have a habit of stroking my chin as if I had a beard. I notice that I do that, or that I rest my chin in my hand as if I had a beard. Topher, down in Norfolk, has a habit of keeping his hands in motion. One of the simplest ways for him to do this is to continually flip something in his hand against the table. So like a cellphone or a remote it's flipping it, sliding his fingers down the body and flipping once more. This is a habit I also do so I can explain it.
Aside from noticing habits about people I notice physical traits about them. The things I detailed in another journal here, or maybe just as a note on facebook about the things I notice when I draw cartoons of people. Teeth, eyes, common hair styles, the things people wear or the types of things. Back in September CR often wore tee shirts, black sweat pants, and sandals. I often wore gauchos, tees, light jackets, hat. Glenn, most of the time I saw him he was wearing button ups, sometimes jackets, khakis/jeans, dress shoes. Alex apparently now often seems to wear his cap [i don't know the name of the style] Shirt, sport coat, jeans. Nora often wore/wears sweater, green pea coat, jeans and has her green shoulder bag with her.
This journal does have serious inspiration. I'd picked up January's Esquire to read because of an article called 'What I Learned' where they interviewed various celebrities over the course of their lifetimes. it's made up of bits and pieces of quotes and this is the one that sparked my thoughts on observation and observing people, places, things.
"You don't go through the front door of hotels anymore, you go through the garage. Or you go through the kitchen of a restaurant. Some people want to think that's cool, that's exciting. But it'll definitely make you a little weird if you're constantly being stared at. Part of the process that I've always enjoyed is being the observer. Yo know, just watching people and learning. At a certain point, the reversal took place. I was no loner the observer-I was being observed. That's obviously very dangerous because part of an actor's job is to observe" Johnny Depp.
This quote made me think about the fact that I look at the world and I take notes on the world in my head or sometimes actually on paper. It made me think of all the watching I do and the fact that I enjoy watching.Back in September I told Glenn "I don't go out to eat for the food, but the food is goo, I go out to eat for the conversation." When we're out to eat, It's an excellent time to observe people in a large group. It's easy to focus on the physical, the tangible about a person. Facial expressions, their voice, vocal intonations. When I think about people in my mind they are a combination of the key points to their appearance, [a rough skin tone, they're hair/hat, their clothes and colors] and it's their voice. I have different 'tracks' for everyone, different things they said that I remember. Not always for what they said, but how they said it. I can remember how two different people say the same damn thing, but the differences in their inflections makes it stand out. I can think of both Nick G. and Anthony P. and hears the differences in how both of them say 'Oh yeah'. Nick's more of a slow drawl type of recollection as he then uses this as a segue into another thought or story. Anthony's quicker pondering, then his dismissal of the topic as he makes a joke or moves onto his next thought.
Hell, I can 'hear' how different people say my name, the intonation they use for different emotions or even the motion I tied into when they said something. There's Alex L.'s whiny use of my name as we're both carrying on with some stupid joke and he's whining about whatever we're both going to laugh at. My father's angry use of 'Jaz-MIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEN' when when he'd be mad at me from when I was younger over messing up something or annoying him in any way. Yenec's drawl from when he greets me and Lizabeth at Borjo [which I'm seriously missing at the moment, both Yenec and the coffeehouse]. Mig's use of Jazz from about twenty minutes ago, Glenn's use of Jazz from some time ago. The use of 'Jazz' to get my attention because of how rare it is, and the fact that you have to be allowed to call me most anything other than Jasmine that I won't scowl at. Allison's cheerful response on the phone and many others. These aren't things I think to file away, but they're things that I have.
I observe the world around me to such an extent that it is second nature to file thought about people's habits away in my mind. I also file away how others things and where they stand for conversation. Diane is good for cheering me up and for serious conversation. As are Glenn, CR and Alex. Diane is also great for dirty jokes, and bouncing artistic ideas off of when I need someone to talk dirty with. Lizabeth is good for random girl talk and venting. Glenn is good for venting and certain imaginative contemplations. Eliana is great for random talk. Nora is good for keeping me rooted into the ground and on this Earth, no matter how far out my mind wants to cast. CR is good for silly random fun conversation and for serious conversation, well, he kicks ass at listening when I try to think through things.
I don't know where I'm going or where I went anymore. The basic thing is I like to observe people and there are different aspects that I observe and retain.
Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.
December 18, 2007
Personalities and Horoscopes
Before I went to sleep this morning, I totally should have written this, but I wanted/needed slee as I had had no nap yesterday and my ear hurts from sleeping badly on the couch. It's not near as comfortable as the ones at Wesley House, but onto my train of thought.
Personalities are not based out of anything concrete, and they are a reflection of both nature and nurture. My brothers and I all share common aspects of our personalities such as it usually takes a bit for us to seriously get angry, we're all charismatic, and other things that ae a cross between personalty and habits and such.
My question or statement for today on personalities is this: how true are horoscopes and personalties? I don't mean day-to-day horoscopes because those are so vague they could be for anyone, but the personalities that are described in those sorts of book about a Scorpio, Leo or Cancer? Same with the Chinese zodiac, just how true is that to one's personality?
I've read that Scorpios are incredibly protective of their friends and the things they love or claim as theirs. They're fiercely loyal, when in love they mean it every time. When angered they are incredibly dark. Scorpios are charismatic and are excellent people persons. They're not quick to anger, but they will hold onto thoughts of revenge for a long time. They forget their digressions to others, but never forget digressions to themselves. Scorpios would rather be behind the scenes in things than be up front and on stage. Stubborn, and I sure and hell know I am for the last couple too. Really private...the things I seriously hold close I don't tell until either know you won't tell or until it's not that important to me.
I've noticed aspects of these traits and others in me and the things I do so I want to know, am I pairing my traits to these, or is it true? I am vengeful, I want and love to have the last laugh. Every time I've liked, loved someone they monopolize my thoughts. They're all I think about until I either convince myself that I don't really love them, or until I decide not to go through with a confession because I've got more important reasons to staying in contact with them. I'm the type of person who can talk to damn near anybody, and I can make other people feel comfortable around me. I am so friggin' protective of my friends that if people knew what went through my mind when I saw them with someone I didn't know or [for whatever reason] considered a rival they would have been terrified. When I'm seriously angry my mind is a wash of red and black. The violent things I think and imagine would scare a Satanist and the Pope would want to exorcise me.
So, from this statement it would seem that the things horoscopes and and the things the zodiacs are true, but to what extent and for how many people?
I've noticed that some of the people I love the most are Cancers, the crab. Scorpios and Cancers get along swimmingly [npi*] because they're both water signs. There is a great level of comfort for them to just plain be together, even in silence. These are also some of the people I seek out most often just to toss around ideas to relax.
My Leo buddies are important for cheering me up because they really do cheer me up when I'm down. And now I'm in no mood to look up anyone else, but it still holds true. The things that I go to certain people most often for are the things that those two signs have most in common. The same hold true for the other signs and why I would seek them out for a conversation or other.
So back to my original complaint [?] should people only take horoscopes with a grain of salt [I really dislike that phrase...i still doesn't quite make sense and I've looked it up] or should we trust/believe them? I understand that not everything is true, but can something as simple as when you were born have just that much of an affect on you and your personality as it seems sometimes? I've thought about this before, and it seems that things are true, but I still wonder
*no pun intended
Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.
Personalities are not based out of anything concrete, and they are a reflection of both nature and nurture. My brothers and I all share common aspects of our personalities such as it usually takes a bit for us to seriously get angry, we're all charismatic, and other things that ae a cross between personalty and habits and such.
My question or statement for today on personalities is this: how true are horoscopes and personalties? I don't mean day-to-day horoscopes because those are so vague they could be for anyone, but the personalities that are described in those sorts of book about a Scorpio, Leo or Cancer? Same with the Chinese zodiac, just how true is that to one's personality?
I've read that Scorpios are incredibly protective of their friends and the things they love or claim as theirs. They're fiercely loyal, when in love they mean it every time. When angered they are incredibly dark. Scorpios are charismatic and are excellent people persons. They're not quick to anger, but they will hold onto thoughts of revenge for a long time. They forget their digressions to others, but never forget digressions to themselves. Scorpios would rather be behind the scenes in things than be up front and on stage. Stubborn, and I sure and hell know I am for the last couple too. Really private...the things I seriously hold close I don't tell until either know you won't tell or until it's not that important to me.
I've noticed aspects of these traits and others in me and the things I do so I want to know, am I pairing my traits to these, or is it true? I am vengeful, I want and love to have the last laugh. Every time I've liked, loved someone they monopolize my thoughts. They're all I think about until I either convince myself that I don't really love them, or until I decide not to go through with a confession because I've got more important reasons to staying in contact with them. I'm the type of person who can talk to damn near anybody, and I can make other people feel comfortable around me. I am so friggin' protective of my friends that if people knew what went through my mind when I saw them with someone I didn't know or [for whatever reason] considered a rival they would have been terrified. When I'm seriously angry my mind is a wash of red and black. The violent things I think and imagine would scare a Satanist and the Pope would want to exorcise me.
So, from this statement it would seem that the things horoscopes and and the things the zodiacs are true, but to what extent and for how many people?
I've noticed that some of the people I love the most are Cancers, the crab. Scorpios and Cancers get along swimmingly [npi*] because they're both water signs. There is a great level of comfort for them to just plain be together, even in silence. These are also some of the people I seek out most often just to toss around ideas to relax.
My Leo buddies are important for cheering me up because they really do cheer me up when I'm down. And now I'm in no mood to look up anyone else, but it still holds true. The things that I go to certain people most often for are the things that those two signs have most in common. The same hold true for the other signs and why I would seek them out for a conversation or other.
So back to my original complaint [?] should people only take horoscopes with a grain of salt [I really dislike that phrase...i still doesn't quite make sense and I've looked it up] or should we trust/believe them? I understand that not everything is true, but can something as simple as when you were born have just that much of an affect on you and your personality as it seems sometimes? I've thought about this before, and it seems that things are true, but I still wonder
*no pun intended
Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.
December 16, 2007
Dreams
Last night [this morning?] was the first time in a long time that i've had a dream where Mom was there. I think that's because I keep talking about her, or thinking about her, I don't know.
The morning kind of kept repeating. I was driving to school {SLHS} and we'd just see each other and say whatever pleasantries we'd decided to say. One morning, it was winter not so I decided to use the police escort service to have them drive me to school. When the cop was on her way over the twit got into an accident. Mom told me about an accident on Soapstone Dr. and I knew it was the officer who was supposed to be driving me to school, so I got into the Buick [LeSabre] and drive myself like always.
Then I woke up because I was in an awkward sleeping position...
My next dream was also odd, but it did not have my mom in it. In this dream I was heading over to another HS in the county. My and some friends, I can't remember if they were college or HS friends though. You couldn't get inside to the party or whatever the hell was going on unless you
had a date, but it didn't matter if both of you were the same gender. After getting in there was a lot of ice cream. I enjoyed a fudgesicle. Then magically it was the next day and not night time anymore. This day there was some sort of division between the ice cream that the girls and boys were allowed to have. the boys had to have fudgesicles and the girl vanilla popsicles. It was all very weird. I ate whatever the fuck I felt like eating, but I also helped to distribute the other ice creams to the appropriate gender...except for that pumpkin headed fucker who wouldn't listen to me and take his damn ice cream just because it was an oreo ice cream.
I woke up again, rolled over, and had a third dream. The third dream was just weird...and I brought up my mom again, even though I bought the book for myself, and can't remember the book I'd bought anyway. It was on the odd side. And I was pissed in the dream, but I can't remember too much of it...
Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.
The morning kind of kept repeating. I was driving to school {SLHS} and we'd just see each other and say whatever pleasantries we'd decided to say. One morning, it was winter not so I decided to use the police escort service to have them drive me to school. When the cop was on her way over the twit got into an accident. Mom told me about an accident on Soapstone Dr. and I knew it was the officer who was supposed to be driving me to school, so I got into the Buick [LeSabre] and drive myself like always.
Then I woke up because I was in an awkward sleeping position...
My next dream was also odd, but it did not have my mom in it. In this dream I was heading over to another HS in the county. My and some friends, I can't remember if they were college or HS friends though. You couldn't get inside to the party or whatever the hell was going on unless you
had a date, but it didn't matter if both of you were the same gender. After getting in there was a lot of ice cream. I enjoyed a fudgesicle. Then magically it was the next day and not night time anymore. This day there was some sort of division between the ice cream that the girls and boys were allowed to have. the boys had to have fudgesicles and the girl vanilla popsicles. It was all very weird. I ate whatever the fuck I felt like eating, but I also helped to distribute the other ice creams to the appropriate gender...except for that pumpkin headed fucker who wouldn't listen to me and take his damn ice cream just because it was an oreo ice cream.
I woke up again, rolled over, and had a third dream. The third dream was just weird...and I brought up my mom again, even though I bought the book for myself, and can't remember the book I'd bought anyway. It was on the odd side. And I was pissed in the dream, but I can't remember too much of it...
Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.
December 15, 2007
Two Sides of the Same Coin
Here is my reflection for the year. I don't give a fuck that there are 16 days left before the year is over, I'm in the right introspective mood, and I'm finally not bawling my friggin eyes out from being so depressed that i am out of control.
This year has been both the best and the fucking most god awful worst year of my life.
How this year has kicked ass. I graduated from high school this year. I got my driver's license, went to Otakon, and spent the majority of the summer hanging out with Alex and Nora. I left home and have finally been considered an adult in and of my own right. People older than me are not seeing me as 'Pat's Daughter' or 'Miguel and/or Dorien's Little Sister' or as 'Miguel's Daughter' [my father and brother are both named Miguel] I'm being seen as 'Jasmine, an intelligent young adult.' I live more or less under my own digression down at school. I'm in college! I met all my new college friends. I went out on a limb and tried something new, fencing.
What made this year the most suck of ever was my mother dying and not being able to see any of the above. What has also made this year full of suck was this years depression. It's been worse than before I think, but I've also had the means to better deal with it, for the most part.
~~
This past year I spent a lot of time with my mother before she died. I know the day I grew up in one sense of the word. I took control of my life and I hold the reigns in a decent grasp most of the time. But I seriously think that leaving the house and going out on my own without the safety net or the restraint of my family has been the best thing for me. I have been happier than ever before, so even with that hell of a valley in my life, I seriously think that 2007 has been my best year ever. I also happily know that it won't be the reigning king of years for too long because I know that there are bigger and better things in my distant and not so distant future.
Things for me to look forward to:
More Fencing
A Boyfriend
A Husband
Graduating From the University
Graduating from Graduate School
More Kick Ass Friends
Publishing 'Travelers'
Publishing 'Travelers' As A Graphic Novel
Becoming Renown For My Botanical Research
My Lemon Trees Bearing Fruit
Traveling With My Friends
Visiting My Friends Who Plan On Living In Other Countries
The Unknown, The Unplanned, The Unexpected
Free Of Everything, Bound By Nothing
Living The Life I Was Given.
Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.
This year has been both the best and the fucking most god awful worst year of my life.
How this year has kicked ass. I graduated from high school this year. I got my driver's license, went to Otakon, and spent the majority of the summer hanging out with Alex and Nora. I left home and have finally been considered an adult in and of my own right. People older than me are not seeing me as 'Pat's Daughter' or 'Miguel and/or Dorien's Little Sister' or as 'Miguel's Daughter' [my father and brother are both named Miguel] I'm being seen as 'Jasmine, an intelligent young adult.' I live more or less under my own digression down at school. I'm in college! I met all my new college friends. I went out on a limb and tried something new, fencing.
What made this year the most suck of ever was my mother dying and not being able to see any of the above. What has also made this year full of suck was this years depression. It's been worse than before I think, but I've also had the means to better deal with it, for the most part.
~~
This past year I spent a lot of time with my mother before she died. I know the day I grew up in one sense of the word. I took control of my life and I hold the reigns in a decent grasp most of the time. But I seriously think that leaving the house and going out on my own without the safety net or the restraint of my family has been the best thing for me. I have been happier than ever before, so even with that hell of a valley in my life, I seriously think that 2007 has been my best year ever. I also happily know that it won't be the reigning king of years for too long because I know that there are bigger and better things in my distant and not so distant future.
Things for me to look forward to:
More Fencing
A Boyfriend
A Husband
Graduating From the University
Graduating from Graduate School
More Kick Ass Friends
Publishing 'Travelers'
Publishing 'Travelers' As A Graphic Novel
Becoming Renown For My Botanical Research
My Lemon Trees Bearing Fruit
Traveling With My Friends
Visiting My Friends Who Plan On Living In Other Countries
The Unknown, The Unplanned, The Unexpected
Free Of Everything, Bound By Nothing
Living The Life I Was Given.
Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.
What Makes A Home?
To follow up what has been mentioned to a minute degree in this journal I don't feel at home here in Reston anymore. I don't know if it's because my mother is gone, or what but my brothers don't really make me feel welcome in my own house. Technically 1/3 of this house is mine, but I damn near don't want it. I am aggravated here and the past two times I've been home I spent most of my time out driving elsewhere or trying to not be in the house at all. Things keep changing and I seem to have little to no say in it. I seem to not have any say in this house and I rarely talk to my brothers. It's maybe once every two weeks, which is pretty crappy. They don't instigate contact with me either, we've become very disconnected and I seem to be on an island of my own all alone up here. I think I know what I want to do, but I need some time to seriously think about it and to talk to my friends to try to get a little bit of advise before I tell my brothers my plan.
I think I just need to straight up move out of here. They don't like spending 6 hours in a car to get me, and we don't really spend that much time together and they don't really try to figure out that I've been up to or what I do down there. I'm not moving in with my father because that would be hell. He has no say over what I do because I am an independent, dependent on no one but myself, and those who I seek out for advise. I'm not being told what to do or when. I'm not getting a curfew or any of that bullshit, and especially not from him because he's never tried before and he can't tame me. He could tame Patricia Ruth [Hall] Pinales and he sure and fuck won't be able to tame Jasmine Y. Pinales.
My great escape plan is to get an apartment down in the Norfolk area. I can maybe just afford room & board and utilities. I'd need a job first, so I need to get that secure before I go out to rent something. I also need someone to live with and the car. This is not fair that I'm not allowed to have a fucking car! I want my damn Elantra, or you two bastard better fucking trade in that damned Buick and give me the 'new' car! I swear, it's not fair!
I'm too annoyed to sign off with my usual dismissal so I will end on this note:
I'm tired of being alone.
Hmm, Well, that opened up me to review my concept of 'alone'. I think it has most often just be a more emotion type of solitude that I am disagreeing wiht not a physical one. I think that is why phone conversations have been useful because they keep me from having to deal with my emotions alone by talking to someone. I've spoken to two people about the solution to my dilemma and they both think I should go through with this, but I want to get the opinion of a few other people, and I need to check out just what I'll be able to afford if I go through with that.
But to my concept of being alone. There are specific people with whom I feel the most comfortable talking to when I'm stressed or depressed.
Elizabeth because she's very calm and will accept just how far my emotions will rage and try to calm me back down to my usual calm demeanor. It takes a bit to get her seriously riled up which helps when my emotions take violent turns and are flung out of my periodic fragile grasp. She listens and tries, even against my pessimistic tendencies of depression to get me to try things...even if I don't always listen having someone else tell me something I've already thought of cements it into my mind so I know I'll have to act on it at some point of time.
Glenn because he listens and gives intelligent responses when I need that type of thing. It seems to take a fair bit of aggravation to ruffle his feathers which means I can throw the more extreme thoughts and he'll respond in a way that'll make me think and forcing me to slow down and think brings me back to where I need to be. He listens to be vent and even when he doesn't have a good response he'll just listen and try to cheer me up.
C.R. because he listens and once more very sympathetically tries to calm me back down and succeeds a it =D His calm demeanor and silly responses throw me off track which distracts me form what angers me. The pure simplicity of his responses throw me for a loop and that makes me think through what upset me so I can find someway to fix it. He doesn't mind any thought I throw which is useful because I have a tendency to rant and ramble so being able just to talk and have those unpredictable changes to where my thoughts flow is quite useful.
Alex because he just listens and calmly responds. He responds to my more extravagant ponders in ways that amuse me. He is able to calmly look at the cards I lay before him and organize the important ones and help me to get rid of the ones that need to be gotten rid of. He's trust worthy...except for answering his phone kind of...and calling back. He fails at that, but other than that, I trust him with damn near any thought in my head. Hell, he even listened to me explain one of my more ..interesting story ideas...one that I want to seriously go back to at some point
There you have it, the people who work best at helping me get back to where I need to be to not lose my mind in the extremes of anything. Well, not so much 'anything' just the things they each hear. Everyone is important to me, but this people more so, in a way...Just trust me when I say that without them I wouldn't be the person I am because I've needed many hands to get out that the vicious valleys that make up my depression. Those slopes are easy to not notice as I slide down them, but they're a bitch to climb back up without a few helping hands. These hands are just the ones that helped the most.
I'm noticing a pattern with the people I trust the most. They're calm and they are all excellent at bringing me back to where I need to be psychologically.
Well, that was two journals all in one post...I feel better and the usual conclusion remains I guess. More to come later.
Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.
I think I just need to straight up move out of here. They don't like spending 6 hours in a car to get me, and we don't really spend that much time together and they don't really try to figure out that I've been up to or what I do down there. I'm not moving in with my father because that would be hell. He has no say over what I do because I am an independent, dependent on no one but myself, and those who I seek out for advise. I'm not being told what to do or when. I'm not getting a curfew or any of that bullshit, and especially not from him because he's never tried before and he can't tame me. He could tame Patricia Ruth [Hall] Pinales and he sure and fuck won't be able to tame Jasmine Y. Pinales.
My great escape plan is to get an apartment down in the Norfolk area. I can maybe just afford room & board and utilities. I'd need a job first, so I need to get that secure before I go out to rent something. I also need someone to live with and the car. This is not fair that I'm not allowed to have a fucking car! I want my damn Elantra, or you two bastard better fucking trade in that damned Buick and give me the 'new' car! I swear, it's not fair!
I'm too annoyed to sign off with my usual dismissal so I will end on this note:
I'm tired of being alone.
Hmm, Well, that opened up me to review my concept of 'alone'. I think it has most often just be a more emotion type of solitude that I am disagreeing wiht not a physical one. I think that is why phone conversations have been useful because they keep me from having to deal with my emotions alone by talking to someone. I've spoken to two people about the solution to my dilemma and they both think I should go through with this, but I want to get the opinion of a few other people, and I need to check out just what I'll be able to afford if I go through with that.
But to my concept of being alone. There are specific people with whom I feel the most comfortable talking to when I'm stressed or depressed.
Elizabeth because she's very calm and will accept just how far my emotions will rage and try to calm me back down to my usual calm demeanor. It takes a bit to get her seriously riled up which helps when my emotions take violent turns and are flung out of my periodic fragile grasp. She listens and tries, even against my pessimistic tendencies of depression to get me to try things...even if I don't always listen having someone else tell me something I've already thought of cements it into my mind so I know I'll have to act on it at some point of time.
Glenn because he listens and gives intelligent responses when I need that type of thing. It seems to take a fair bit of aggravation to ruffle his feathers which means I can throw the more extreme thoughts and he'll respond in a way that'll make me think and forcing me to slow down and think brings me back to where I need to be. He listens to be vent and even when he doesn't have a good response he'll just listen and try to cheer me up.
C.R. because he listens and once more very sympathetically tries to calm me back down and succeeds a it =D His calm demeanor and silly responses throw me off track which distracts me form what angers me. The pure simplicity of his responses throw me for a loop and that makes me think through what upset me so I can find someway to fix it. He doesn't mind any thought I throw which is useful because I have a tendency to rant and ramble so being able just to talk and have those unpredictable changes to where my thoughts flow is quite useful.
Alex because he just listens and calmly responds. He responds to my more extravagant ponders in ways that amuse me. He is able to calmly look at the cards I lay before him and organize the important ones and help me to get rid of the ones that need to be gotten rid of. He's trust worthy...except for answering his phone kind of...and calling back. He fails at that, but other than that, I trust him with damn near any thought in my head. Hell, he even listened to me explain one of my more ..interesting story ideas...one that I want to seriously go back to at some point
There you have it, the people who work best at helping me get back to where I need to be to not lose my mind in the extremes of anything. Well, not so much 'anything' just the things they each hear. Everyone is important to me, but this people more so, in a way...Just trust me when I say that without them I wouldn't be the person I am because I've needed many hands to get out that the vicious valleys that make up my depression. Those slopes are easy to not notice as I slide down them, but they're a bitch to climb back up without a few helping hands. These hands are just the ones that helped the most.
I'm noticing a pattern with the people I trust the most. They're calm and they are all excellent at bringing me back to where I need to be psychologically.
Well, that was two journals all in one post...I feel better and the usual conclusion remains I guess. More to come later.
Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.
December 14, 2007
make them hear you
I can't think of a better title, but this works sine this is nothign more than a few rambling thoughts.
So, last night with everyone was fun. Raving Rabids was more fun than I'd thought it would be. Hanging out with everyone held my depression at bay. I didn't realize that fact until I was going to bed at about 2 this morning and I had no real desire to sleep. I'd thought I was done, but I'm just keeping it all at bay only just barely. I need this shit to end. I'm just so fuck tired of it all. Not living, I've no real qualms with life, but I do have issues with this depression, and at the moment I don't want to be alone. Heh, my usual complaint, 'I don't want to be alone' or 'I don't trust myself to be alone'
Heh, 'Make Them Hear You' by the Black Eyed Peas, I can't make anyone hear me. Damn this depression to hell. I'm just glad I've got enough sense to try to fight it. I just keep loosing the damn fight. Hmm, I think that since today is my last day down here I deserve one last drink from Borjo....maybe a red-eye. I mean, i haven't had one of those in about a month. The problem isn't today though, it's going to be tomorrow when I'm crashing like a two year old behind the wheel on 95. But that's beside the point... I'll decide when I get there. I think maybe I should write. Problem is I don't know who to write about. I'd also rather not create any more characters, the 70, 80 some I have at the moment are out there enough to last me a life time...
I think it's time for a round of phone tag as I try to find someone or something to hold my attention for the next two hours. Later days.
Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.
So, last night with everyone was fun. Raving Rabids was more fun than I'd thought it would be. Hanging out with everyone held my depression at bay. I didn't realize that fact until I was going to bed at about 2 this morning and I had no real desire to sleep. I'd thought I was done, but I'm just keeping it all at bay only just barely. I need this shit to end. I'm just so fuck tired of it all. Not living, I've no real qualms with life, but I do have issues with this depression, and at the moment I don't want to be alone. Heh, my usual complaint, 'I don't want to be alone' or 'I don't trust myself to be alone'
Heh, 'Make Them Hear You' by the Black Eyed Peas, I can't make anyone hear me. Damn this depression to hell. I'm just glad I've got enough sense to try to fight it. I just keep loosing the damn fight. Hmm, I think that since today is my last day down here I deserve one last drink from Borjo....maybe a red-eye. I mean, i haven't had one of those in about a month. The problem isn't today though, it's going to be tomorrow when I'm crashing like a two year old behind the wheel on 95. But that's beside the point... I'll decide when I get there. I think maybe I should write. Problem is I don't know who to write about. I'd also rather not create any more characters, the 70, 80 some I have at the moment are out there enough to last me a life time...
I think it's time for a round of phone tag as I try to find someone or something to hold my attention for the next two hours. Later days.
Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.
December 6, 2007
Gender Barriers...
...and the periodic lack there of.
So, last night at TFC I was amused when I witnessed, and was a part of a group of guys [granted, there are mostly guys here] acting like a gaggle of girls whilst enviously talking about how Mr. Kim was instructing Jason and Nick in sabre. And there were the stories about how he was ranked 27th in the world for epee, I think Eddie said, and it costs something like $200 for a month of lessons from him.
I'm standing there, mostly listening since I didn't have much I needed to add aside from sounds of awe and such, and I was amused by the fact that there are times where the whole gender barrier is non-existent.
So, I've totally lost my train of thought for this observation, and I doubt I'll ever really finish it
Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.
So, last night at TFC I was amused when I witnessed, and was a part of a group of guys [granted, there are mostly guys here] acting like a gaggle of girls whilst enviously talking about how Mr. Kim was instructing Jason and Nick in sabre. And there were the stories about how he was ranked 27th in the world for epee, I think Eddie said, and it costs something like $200 for a month of lessons from him.
I'm standing there, mostly listening since I didn't have much I needed to add aside from sounds of awe and such, and I was amused by the fact that there are times where the whole gender barrier is non-existent.
So, I've totally lost my train of thought for this observation, and I doubt I'll ever really finish it
Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.
December 4, 2007
'About Me'
It is impossible to fit all that makes a person into 1000 words or less. There is so much about a person that change change from one little non-interaction, such as seeing someone they have an interest in one day, or their not seeing that person. I know my mind is out there any time I see those guys who can catch my eye long enough to make me try to fine a way to talk to them. Anyting can change a person, even simple non-interactions like that.
As I think about some of the things that make up 'me' this was going to be all super epic over on facebook, but i stopped before it got too far along so I'm writing it for here.
'I just am. The details change depending on the mood, how morose I can be to how hyper crazy, to how romantic. I've never been much of a girlie-girl though, that's never changed.'
I am a lover of many things. Food, socializing, entertainment, conversation, deep thinker movies and conversation. There is too much to me to put into words to describe for those people out there on the Internet to be able to handle reading. It would be an epic tale about the highlights of my life and personality that's a hefty tale. Not because of embellishments, but trying to fit in all the things that I don't tell people, but are displayed during conversation and interaction.
Part of this is I don't casually touch people until I know and trust them. Until I've figured out what's allowed, just how much distance and in what ways do I do things. When I meet people, there is a trial period that can last from ten minutes to a few days or weeks as I figure out just how far I can go with them so I know how I can act and which parts of my personality to exhibit. There are some times when I need to be at a certain comfort level with people before I'll playfully mess around with them. Touching them, their hair, face, just plain contact in some cases. It's not always as deep as it seems, but there are some people who I don't know how they'd respond to casual contact as simple as a hug. I never realized how much I like hugging people or having someone to get a hug from because before I always had my mom and I never thought about it. Now I have people to get hugs from or who I don't mind hugging. Things like this are like how I confide in people, I never give it much pre-thought but I just know these sorts of things.
But back to describing me. I am a romantic. Even thought I over think my own relationships and have often concluded that I probably will over think it if I ever have someone, I am a romantic. I do like a bit of fluff in my movies every once in a while. I do want love, I want someone to love and to make it known that they care. I want comfortable platonic love too. I don't mean anything wild like 'friends with benefits' but a shoulder I can lean on. Someone I can go to damn near whenever and know I can tell them anything.
I am a dirty minded bastard. It's how I was raised. I don't have bad morals, just a greater acceptance for the things that society normally perceives as wrong. I mean, I was somewhere round about 6th grade when I saw 'Real Sex' on HBO, I had no issue with it. It actually made me laugh. I find porn amusing because the situations that lead up to the sex are usually incredibly goofy. I've said this to people before, but seriously, the generic type of introduction that I've see to a few different porns was 'A stay at home wife/mother gets a delivery, then decides to fuck the deliver man' but then there was the series from Showtime where the story lines were almost always 'This couple is having relationship issues and decided to get away for a weekend to reignite the flame of their passion' I mean, crap like this is just so ridiculous that it's like 'how is this cock-and-bull story still being written. I can totally see where a friend of mine is coming from when they say that they can't really watch porn because there is so little character development [ie none] that they can't really focus and get into the story. As for me being dirty minded, I don't care about hearing about people going at it, the numbers or the genders involved because at the end of the day it makes me laugh. I don't quite know why I find it so amusing, but I do.
What makes me. I think about the way I think about other people and when I go to describe people I pick out the most distinctive physical features then the next thing I think about is how I can 'see' their personality in the things they do. When I describe people, the physical is first, but the...
[contemplation to be finished at a future time]
-continued-
...but then I go on to describe personality attributes about people because of how I relate personalities to people they become tangible. It's kind of amusing, but it also makes describing other people somewhat interesting...
On my cleanliness...or often lack there of, I like to think I live in organized chaos. I think because of my creativity and artistic habits, and the fact that I don't usually don't think in conventional patterns, then I am better suited to have things not quite in normal order. I think that I try to live externally they way I live internally, sometimes.
I think this is a topic I'll need to come back to, I'm not quite inspired to dewll on myself too much more at the moment. I'll finish this train of thought, or continue down this track or a similar one some time in the future. Adios
Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.
As I think about some of the things that make up 'me' this was going to be all super epic over on facebook, but i stopped before it got too far along so I'm writing it for here.
'I just am. The details change depending on the mood, how morose I can be to how hyper crazy, to how romantic. I've never been much of a girlie-girl though, that's never changed.'
I am a lover of many things. Food, socializing, entertainment, conversation, deep thinker movies and conversation. There is too much to me to put into words to describe for those people out there on the Internet to be able to handle reading. It would be an epic tale about the highlights of my life and personality that's a hefty tale. Not because of embellishments, but trying to fit in all the things that I don't tell people, but are displayed during conversation and interaction.
Part of this is I don't casually touch people until I know and trust them. Until I've figured out what's allowed, just how much distance and in what ways do I do things. When I meet people, there is a trial period that can last from ten minutes to a few days or weeks as I figure out just how far I can go with them so I know how I can act and which parts of my personality to exhibit. There are some times when I need to be at a certain comfort level with people before I'll playfully mess around with them. Touching them, their hair, face, just plain contact in some cases. It's not always as deep as it seems, but there are some people who I don't know how they'd respond to casual contact as simple as a hug. I never realized how much I like hugging people or having someone to get a hug from because before I always had my mom and I never thought about it. Now I have people to get hugs from or who I don't mind hugging. Things like this are like how I confide in people, I never give it much pre-thought but I just know these sorts of things.
But back to describing me. I am a romantic. Even thought I over think my own relationships and have often concluded that I probably will over think it if I ever have someone, I am a romantic. I do like a bit of fluff in my movies every once in a while. I do want love, I want someone to love and to make it known that they care. I want comfortable platonic love too. I don't mean anything wild like 'friends with benefits' but a shoulder I can lean on. Someone I can go to damn near whenever and know I can tell them anything.
I am a dirty minded bastard. It's how I was raised. I don't have bad morals, just a greater acceptance for the things that society normally perceives as wrong. I mean, I was somewhere round about 6th grade when I saw 'Real Sex' on HBO, I had no issue with it. It actually made me laugh. I find porn amusing because the situations that lead up to the sex are usually incredibly goofy. I've said this to people before, but seriously, the generic type of introduction that I've see to a few different porns was 'A stay at home wife/mother gets a delivery, then decides to fuck the deliver man' but then there was the series from Showtime where the story lines were almost always 'This couple is having relationship issues and decided to get away for a weekend to reignite the flame of their passion' I mean, crap like this is just so ridiculous that it's like 'how is this cock-and-bull story still being written. I can totally see where a friend of mine is coming from when they say that they can't really watch porn because there is so little character development [ie none] that they can't really focus and get into the story. As for me being dirty minded, I don't care about hearing about people going at it, the numbers or the genders involved because at the end of the day it makes me laugh. I don't quite know why I find it so amusing, but I do.
What makes me. I think about the way I think about other people and when I go to describe people I pick out the most distinctive physical features then the next thing I think about is how I can 'see' their personality in the things they do. When I describe people, the physical is first, but the...
[contemplation to be finished at a future time]
-continued-
...but then I go on to describe personality attributes about people because of how I relate personalities to people they become tangible. It's kind of amusing, but it also makes describing other people somewhat interesting...
On my cleanliness...or often lack there of, I like to think I live in organized chaos. I think because of my creativity and artistic habits, and the fact that I don't usually don't think in conventional patterns, then I am better suited to have things not quite in normal order. I think that I try to live externally they way I live internally, sometimes.
I think this is a topic I'll need to come back to, I'm not quite inspired to dewll on myself too much more at the moment. I'll finish this train of thought, or continue down this track or a similar one some time in the future. Adios
Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.
December 3, 2007
Thanksgiving Break Review
[I don't think I posted this before, but I did write it over the break...then I never felt like actually concluding it, but que sera sera.]
Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.
Thanksgiving 2007
Thursday Nov 22, 07
I spent some time calling around and chatting with people. I spoke with Lizabeth, Glenn and Allison on Thanksgiving. I sent out a few text messages and left a few messages with people. Nothing special, aside form making Sunday night dinner plans. Invites and such will have to be issued on Sunday so…
Friday, Nov 23, 2007
So, after getting him a new sweatshirt from
Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.
December 1, 2007
English Mid-Term Story
So, a few months back in either mid/late October or early November we wrote our English mid-term papers. I was amused by it when I wrote it and I've wanted to write it up for a while, but I remembered that we're supposed to turn them in later. This was supposed to be funny and somewhat satirical so this will be on the silly side. Minor edits for sensibility...or because I have no friggin' clue what I wrote.
~~~~
Choosing a mate in a very simple process nowadays with all the technology and socitial advancements that mave been made since the dawn of time. Insteas of shows of brute force and physical prowess nowadays people want the finer things in life: comfort, money, electronics, faster cars and [demonstrations] of technological prowess.
When searching for a mate, a club is a an easy way to find someone just [as] desperate as you are. They spend hours getting dressed to the nines, putting every hair into its place and they practice their mating calls to make sure they can attract the best mate. an example of one such mating call popular with the scientific crowd is 'If I were an enzyme, I'd want to be DNA [helicase] so I could unzip your genes' Calls of this variety are not always successful and can cause the caller to be violently rejected. As easy as it is to find a mate at a club, it is ill advised to stay with one of these sorts for too long because for as easy as it was to attract said mate, it is just as easy to lose said mate.
Another viable venue for finding a made is one from your own pack. Someone you know well who knows everyting about you so the whole 'getting to know you, getting to knoooow all about yooouuu' phase is already done. Awkward silences are a thing of the past in this sort of relationship because anything that may have halted a conversation has already been done and said and taken care of. The problem with choosing a mate from a group of friends is [that] if you break it off before or after jumping the broom stick there will be the awkward division of friends or worse yet running into your ex with a new mate.
Having an established common interest is a way to choose a successful mate. You could both be dog people; you with your terrier-collie mis and them with their pure breed all-American golden retriever. Your dogs hit it off one day one at first sniff. Strange, considering your terrier-collie id quick to bite, you start up a quick [rapport] with the trerievers owner and you two hit it off. Things are fine at first, you're a liberal, they're a conservative but you let bygones-be-bygones and move in together and all is fin until you find their retriever with the neighbor's Great Dane from next door, your terrier is all alone. [The] next strike is them with their secretary in your great-grandmothers marriage bed.
Th issues with choosing a mate today [is there is] so much more to consider, to take into account. Maybe a good old blind date is in order. You meet at a coffee shop, neutral territory, set up by your friends for the afternoon. While waiting for that special (unknown) someone to appear with a single red rose you see them appear with all the finesse and sexual prowess of a tiger. They slunk over disappearing in the crowd every second or two before shining once more as they clear their dully adorned surroundings. They have a bouquet instead of a single flower and then they greet your. Everything that made them so perfect [breaks] as you hear them speak with no grasp of the language they're speaking and teeth that look like they chewed through a long and that they brushed with pond scum.
Wow, who knew choosing a mate could be so hard! Maybe the days of fights for the win and possession were best. You're walking home with a bouquet of roses and a thundercloud over your head. You think all is lost when you finally see someone [fall] and you give them a hand and notice how adorable they are. Everything clicks so perfectly from seeing them simply trip over their own two shoes while trying to walk. You both laugh and the thundercloud seems to be blown away by the ray of sunshine emanating from their laugh.
Behind every cloud is a shining sun waiting to be seen.
~~~~
Hahaha, this still makes me laugh. Here ye be =D
~~~~
Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.
~~~~
Choosing a mate in a very simple process nowadays with all the technology and socitial advancements that mave been made since the dawn of time. Insteas of shows of brute force and physical prowess nowadays people want the finer things in life: comfort, money, electronics, faster cars and [demonstrations] of technological prowess.
When searching for a mate, a club is a an easy way to find someone just [as] desperate as you are. They spend hours getting dressed to the nines, putting every hair into its place and they practice their mating calls to make sure they can attract the best mate. an example of one such mating call popular with the scientific crowd is 'If I were an enzyme, I'd want to be DNA [helicase] so I could unzip your genes' Calls of this variety are not always successful and can cause the caller to be violently rejected. As easy as it is to find a mate at a club, it is ill advised to stay with one of these sorts for too long because for as easy as it was to attract said mate, it is just as easy to lose said mate.
Another viable venue for finding a made is one from your own pack. Someone you know well who knows everyting about you so the whole 'getting to know you, getting to knoooow all about yooouuu' phase is already done. Awkward silences are a thing of the past in this sort of relationship because anything that may have halted a conversation has already been done and said and taken care of. The problem with choosing a mate from a group of friends is [that] if you break it off before or after jumping the broom stick there will be the awkward division of friends or worse yet running into your ex with a new mate.
Having an established common interest is a way to choose a successful mate. You could both be dog people; you with your terrier-collie mis and them with their pure breed all-American golden retriever. Your dogs hit it off one day one at first sniff. Strange, considering your terrier-collie id quick to bite, you start up a quick [rapport] with the trerievers owner and you two hit it off. Things are fine at first, you're a liberal, they're a conservative but you let bygones-be-bygones and move in together and all is fin until you find their retriever with the neighbor's Great Dane from next door, your terrier is all alone. [The] next strike is them with their secretary in your great-grandmothers marriage bed.
Th issues with choosing a mate today [is there is] so much more to consider, to take into account. Maybe a good old blind date is in order. You meet at a coffee shop, neutral territory, set up by your friends for the afternoon. While waiting for that special (unknown) someone to appear with a single red rose you see them appear with all the finesse and sexual prowess of a tiger. They slunk over disappearing in the crowd every second or two before shining once more as they clear their dully adorned surroundings. They have a bouquet instead of a single flower and then they greet your. Everything that made them so perfect [breaks] as you hear them speak with no grasp of the language they're speaking and teeth that look like they chewed through a long and that they brushed with pond scum.
Wow, who knew choosing a mate could be so hard! Maybe the days of fights for the win and possession were best. You're walking home with a bouquet of roses and a thundercloud over your head. You think all is lost when you finally see someone [fall] and you give them a hand and notice how adorable they are. Everything clicks so perfectly from seeing them simply trip over their own two shoes while trying to walk. You both laugh and the thundercloud seems to be blown away by the ray of sunshine emanating from their laugh.
Behind every cloud is a shining sun waiting to be seen.
~~~~
Hahaha, this still makes me laugh. Here ye be =D
~~~~
Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
