Meh, two days ago I was just plain 'blah'. And if it didn't go against my belief that everything I've written has a point, I'd seriously delete it. It does have a point and after my personal stupidity from the beginning of it, I think it rounded out to be alright. Que sera. Nothing important is going on, but I also must study for my psych test.
Caio
Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.
January 31, 2008
January 29, 2008
Restless
I dunno. At the moment I feel incredibly restless and irritable. I'm upset about something that's only in my head and it's just a bitch. I'm upset about how a friend of mine is acting. After knowing him for the few months that I have known him I can easily understand how he acts. I understand how he acts around many women. I think I feel bad because I'm not the person he'd give up time for. I guess it's a type of heart break...mixed in with PMSing, and at the moment I don't want to be alone, and per usual the people I'd rather not be alone around are busy.
So, to elaborate a bit on how I see the situation, said friend gets next to, hangs out and makes time for specific people at a time. I think it's pretty much an 'instant crush' sort of deal, except for him, unlike it being at the time of meeting, it's when the current 'crush' has moved on. I think it's between a crush and like a fascination. I dunno, but I don't think it's so much that fact that it isn't me anymore, it's the fact that it's a mutual friend, my best friend, so I don't have anyone to distract me from myself, and I am the most dangerous person for me to be alone with.
I think this will pass soon, but right now, at this minute, it's just frustrating, and I'm trying not to cry from feeling alone. I think one of these days I'll go out on a limb and 'meet somebody'. I mean this a a perennial complaint and wish that I would have someone who I could go to all the time, no questions asked and just chill with. I'm fantasizing at the moment about having someone and I don't think that' really helping my cause any, so I think I need to just go and find somebody. That's a weird turn fo phrase to just go 'meet' or to 'find somebody' how do people ever know what they're looking for. I know people with interesting outward appearances but kick ass personalities and people who look all kick ass and cool, but really aren't. I'm much more than one of those types of people who only want a person's look, I want more, I need something substantial. But I also wonder if that's the type of person I'll ultimately end up with. I mean, people talk about not ending up with the type of person they always thought they'd marry, but being truly happy with them, so what if it's the same with me?
I've thought about the criterion that I want filled, and I think in the long run is that I want someone whom I consider a superior because I want to be able to seriously reply on them to be mature when I'm not so mature, and so I can be taken care of on days like to day when I just want to not be alone. I have someone to hug and lay all up on and in general not be so distant to. I dislike the fact that I feel a desire to be so dependent on someone else, but I also think that's what I want, to be able to be so dependent every once in a while. To be pampered. But I also want someone intelligent so I can have an intellectual challenge. Not to play stupid word games with all the time, but someone I have debate with over things, but can also see the intelligence and the intellect in something that I find to be clever and amusing.
After getting my bearings, I feel better, but I still don't want to be alone. I know what I want, but I don't know how to find it. Fuck using some dating group. I can find someone suitable without the help of lame want ads and the like.
God, this is seriously just the PMS talking. I can't wait this this is over and I'm not feeling so melancholy.
Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.
So, to elaborate a bit on how I see the situation, said friend gets next to, hangs out and makes time for specific people at a time. I think it's pretty much an 'instant crush' sort of deal, except for him, unlike it being at the time of meeting, it's when the current 'crush' has moved on. I think it's between a crush and like a fascination. I dunno, but I don't think it's so much that fact that it isn't me anymore, it's the fact that it's a mutual friend, my best friend, so I don't have anyone to distract me from myself, and I am the most dangerous person for me to be alone with.
I think this will pass soon, but right now, at this minute, it's just frustrating, and I'm trying not to cry from feeling alone. I think one of these days I'll go out on a limb and 'meet somebody'. I mean this a a perennial complaint and wish that I would have someone who I could go to all the time, no questions asked and just chill with. I'm fantasizing at the moment about having someone and I don't think that' really helping my cause any, so I think I need to just go and find somebody. That's a weird turn fo phrase to just go 'meet' or to 'find somebody' how do people ever know what they're looking for. I know people with interesting outward appearances but kick ass personalities and people who look all kick ass and cool, but really aren't. I'm much more than one of those types of people who only want a person's look, I want more, I need something substantial. But I also wonder if that's the type of person I'll ultimately end up with. I mean, people talk about not ending up with the type of person they always thought they'd marry, but being truly happy with them, so what if it's the same with me?
I've thought about the criterion that I want filled, and I think in the long run is that I want someone whom I consider a superior because I want to be able to seriously reply on them to be mature when I'm not so mature, and so I can be taken care of on days like to day when I just want to not be alone. I have someone to hug and lay all up on and in general not be so distant to. I dislike the fact that I feel a desire to be so dependent on someone else, but I also think that's what I want, to be able to be so dependent every once in a while. To be pampered. But I also want someone intelligent so I can have an intellectual challenge. Not to play stupid word games with all the time, but someone I have debate with over things, but can also see the intelligence and the intellect in something that I find to be clever and amusing.
After getting my bearings, I feel better, but I still don't want to be alone. I know what I want, but I don't know how to find it. Fuck using some dating group. I can find someone suitable without the help of lame want ads and the like.
God, this is seriously just the PMS talking. I can't wait this this is over and I'm not feeling so melancholy.
Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.
January 23, 2008
Novel Inspiration
So, after lat night describing He Plays to Glenn, he inquired as to where the inspiration came for that story. At that moment I'd said 'I don't know. I thought it up in 9th or 10th grade' then I dropped the subject because I had more interesting things to think about, like food.
Now, like always when I reflect on what happens to me over the course of a day in the evening, as I unwind and just let my mind go where it wants, I though back to this story and interaction. I thought about what happened to me in 9th grade...well, when I think I'd begun writing it for the first time. Then I thought about my inspiration for all my stories, I can't remember all of them, but for the ones I can remember, I will describe where they were born from and a little bit about why.
He Plays For the Other Team: It's simple about a guy who has an emotional amnesia and entirely forgets his sexuality. For 5 years he has no idea what he is gay, he has a girlfriend and goes through life thinking he's straight until he gets to college and his roommate is openly gay.
I think this story came first, from me being depressed in 9th grade because I started it in I think that winter when I was angry and violent in my depression. I'd just been introduced to the idea of homosexuality...well, not 'just' so much as I thought about it in relation to my life and fictional worlds. I'd probably thought about what would happen if somebody forgot they were gay. For years, they had no idea as to their preference, then it comes back tot hem and their life is changed. This story was also originally going to be a PWP, but I didn't have enough caffeine in my system to deal with why I was writing smut in 9th grade. I think though that we-working the story is going to work out better than it's original incarnation. I think this could seriously be published at some point, but i don't feel comfortable working on it here, and I do what my original to re-read and to either finish there, or to start over. I want names and characterizations back again.
Travelers: Alexis, Daisuke and Arian travel from Vichura to Vuci to find some really rare jewel or gem for Aly to take to the local museum.
Travelers was always to fulfill my desire to travel. There is action and adventure, danger and, the female and male leads do not marry one another. Hell, they'd never think about it which is another important aspect to this story. This story also came after my failed adventure story about me, I needed someone different. This story makes me think of a female Indiana Jones, who dresses for the part and not to look like a skanky whore, like Lara Croft [she's going to get fucked in that outfit, imo] This story was my way to escape from reality and get away on a trip. That last great trip before college and the 'rest of your life' type of thing. I want to finish this one, I've enjoyed it.
Necropolis: This is more of a universe than just on story because it's about two groups of people, totaling 10 or 11 characters if I remember right.
This universe is just a realistic world for me to let lose in. there were originally fantastical aspects to it, but I've opted those out, but I have my other aspects. It's also a world where I can have PWP stories and regular stories depending on the relationships between the characters at the age that I'm deciding to use. The NY and London crews were created about the same time, but then I linked them. There are so many possibilities for this universe. This seriously is just a world where I can let lose in reality and have some fun. Having this as prose and comics gives me more freedom with how things happen, and I can have so much fun playing with time because the story isn't just about one point in their lives, but their entire lives. This is a universe I created in 10th grade when I took creative writing. It all started with a picture that I still have, and that really amuses me. I should find this picture...wherever I shoved it.
Outside Looking In: This story was a PWP if I ever knew it. It was all about twincest, which is creepy in the long run, but then it got away from me.
This was written about the same time as He Plays but this story also stayed very PWP. I think I was just in the mood to write about twin brothers who had a thing for one another and how their relationship progressed. It never went anywhere, and it really never was supposed to go anywhere. It was just a smutty little story world.
Untitled: [Or I've forgotten the title]: In a futuristic world where there are mo homeless people, and harems are around once more, one girl...lives...
This was another PWP, except I was like ;what if the whore was smart...and I mean brillient. Seriously?' And this came along. It was also when I decided that women should be allowed to have harems of their own and that men can be a part of the harems. But it wouldn't just be a harem, the people would be trained in the act of sex, seduction, and pleasure. They could be bought from the whore homes to be taken to your harem. there are no street walked, not really, but sometimes people whore out their harem members for some cash, and to be nice to those who can't afford to purchase a whore of their own. Dorian-Mar Cezanne has purchased her first who, Adrian-Ezra Kain, who has been in and out of the Homes because he was a free thinker. Everyone who has own him ends of getting rid of him because he's too much of a free thinker, he knows more than just sex [which he is excellent at btw] and he's getting old. After the age of 20 if a whore isn't bought, they are trained for the service industry, so they become retail workers, sanitation engineers and continue living on the dredges of society, unless they prove unruly. Sometimes the women are used to birth new whore babies to keep up that population for the harems are never really empty.
This was really just a big PWP that tried to spread out and become a story in and of it's worn right, but that never quite got off the ground, but it might one day. Dorian buys free thinkers on purpose, she puts them to work in her offices. But in the long run, I wrote this story so I could write about having a harem.
Looking at this it sounds like there were a log of PWP stories...and that's the truth. There were. When I can, I'll try to get back around to writing about the not so PWPs I have. Like there's my Hackers but that was heavily inspired by a now defunct webcomic. I have my other story that I don't think ever had a title, but in this one was a game system where you were an actual character in certain games. It was like the wii, except for it being vector art that didn't really look like you, this system had full proportioned body frames that your likeness would be matched to and in certain games you were actually playing. The games were uber personalized this way.
Well, that's all I'm writing now. I'm sleepy and I might actually be able to take a nap if I head over to Wesley House soon. We'll just see what happens.
Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.
Now, like always when I reflect on what happens to me over the course of a day in the evening, as I unwind and just let my mind go where it wants, I though back to this story and interaction. I thought about what happened to me in 9th grade...well, when I think I'd begun writing it for the first time. Then I thought about my inspiration for all my stories, I can't remember all of them, but for the ones I can remember, I will describe where they were born from and a little bit about why.
He Plays For the Other Team: It's simple about a guy who has an emotional amnesia and entirely forgets his sexuality. For 5 years he has no idea what he is gay, he has a girlfriend and goes through life thinking he's straight until he gets to college and his roommate is openly gay.
I think this story came first, from me being depressed in 9th grade because I started it in I think that winter when I was angry and violent in my depression. I'd just been introduced to the idea of homosexuality...well, not 'just' so much as I thought about it in relation to my life and fictional worlds. I'd probably thought about what would happen if somebody forgot they were gay. For years, they had no idea as to their preference, then it comes back tot hem and their life is changed. This story was also originally going to be a PWP, but I didn't have enough caffeine in my system to deal with why I was writing smut in 9th grade. I think though that we-working the story is going to work out better than it's original incarnation. I think this could seriously be published at some point, but i don't feel comfortable working on it here, and I do what my original to re-read and to either finish there, or to start over. I want names and characterizations back again.
Travelers: Alexis, Daisuke and Arian travel from Vichura to Vuci to find some really rare jewel or gem for Aly to take to the local museum.
Travelers was always to fulfill my desire to travel. There is action and adventure, danger and, the female and male leads do not marry one another. Hell, they'd never think about it which is another important aspect to this story. This story also came after my failed adventure story about me, I needed someone different. This story makes me think of a female Indiana Jones, who dresses for the part and not to look like a skanky whore, like Lara Croft [she's going to get fucked in that outfit, imo] This story was my way to escape from reality and get away on a trip. That last great trip before college and the 'rest of your life' type of thing. I want to finish this one, I've enjoyed it.
Necropolis: This is more of a universe than just on story because it's about two groups of people, totaling 10 or 11 characters if I remember right.
This universe is just a realistic world for me to let lose in. there were originally fantastical aspects to it, but I've opted those out, but I have my other aspects. It's also a world where I can have PWP stories and regular stories depending on the relationships between the characters at the age that I'm deciding to use. The NY and London crews were created about the same time, but then I linked them. There are so many possibilities for this universe. This seriously is just a world where I can let lose in reality and have some fun. Having this as prose and comics gives me more freedom with how things happen, and I can have so much fun playing with time because the story isn't just about one point in their lives, but their entire lives. This is a universe I created in 10th grade when I took creative writing. It all started with a picture that I still have, and that really amuses me. I should find this picture...wherever I shoved it.
Outside Looking In: This story was a PWP if I ever knew it. It was all about twincest, which is creepy in the long run, but then it got away from me.
This was written about the same time as He Plays but this story also stayed very PWP. I think I was just in the mood to write about twin brothers who had a thing for one another and how their relationship progressed. It never went anywhere, and it really never was supposed to go anywhere. It was just a smutty little story world.
Untitled: [Or I've forgotten the title]: In a futuristic world where there are mo homeless people, and harems are around once more, one girl...lives...
This was another PWP, except I was like ;what if the whore was smart...and I mean brillient. Seriously?' And this came along. It was also when I decided that women should be allowed to have harems of their own and that men can be a part of the harems. But it wouldn't just be a harem, the people would be trained in the act of sex, seduction, and pleasure. They could be bought from the whore homes to be taken to your harem. there are no street walked, not really, but sometimes people whore out their harem members for some cash, and to be nice to those who can't afford to purchase a whore of their own. Dorian-Mar Cezanne has purchased her first who, Adrian-Ezra Kain, who has been in and out of the Homes because he was a free thinker. Everyone who has own him ends of getting rid of him because he's too much of a free thinker, he knows more than just sex [which he is excellent at btw] and he's getting old. After the age of 20 if a whore isn't bought, they are trained for the service industry, so they become retail workers, sanitation engineers and continue living on the dredges of society, unless they prove unruly. Sometimes the women are used to birth new whore babies to keep up that population for the harems are never really empty.
This was really just a big PWP that tried to spread out and become a story in and of it's worn right, but that never quite got off the ground, but it might one day. Dorian buys free thinkers on purpose, she puts them to work in her offices. But in the long run, I wrote this story so I could write about having a harem.
Looking at this it sounds like there were a log of PWP stories...and that's the truth. There were. When I can, I'll try to get back around to writing about the not so PWPs I have. Like there's my Hackers but that was heavily inspired by a now defunct webcomic. I have my other story that I don't think ever had a title, but in this one was a game system where you were an actual character in certain games. It was like the wii, except for it being vector art that didn't really look like you, this system had full proportioned body frames that your likeness would be matched to and in certain games you were actually playing. The games were uber personalized this way.
Well, that's all I'm writing now. I'm sleepy and I might actually be able to take a nap if I head over to Wesley House soon. We'll just see what happens.
Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.
January 22, 2008
Describing Me
I know I've said it's damn near impossible to describe the full range of Jasmine Y. P. in a few meager words, but the best bet I've thought of to describe me in one word is 'interesting'.
I think the sum of my parts makes me quite interesting in the long run because of all the conflits I have and the conflicts that I accept about me. And this song I'm listening to is crap, time to change it....As is this one...Anywho, I was walking to English this morning for my conference with my teacher and I was just letting my mind go where it wanted like usual, and i thought about describing me well...to me, and the best word i could think is interesting. Maybe interiguing, but I'm interesting to say the least. If you could just go through my bag, but for some reason never talk to me you'd learn a lot about that which is 'me' even though you'd not have spoken to me.
Well, this has no need to be epic, and I'm hungry. Lizabeth ill probable call me soon anyway. Ciao.
Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.
I think the sum of my parts makes me quite interesting in the long run because of all the conflits I have and the conflicts that I accept about me. And this song I'm listening to is crap, time to change it....As is this one...Anywho, I was walking to English this morning for my conference with my teacher and I was just letting my mind go where it wanted like usual, and i thought about describing me well...to me, and the best word i could think is interesting. Maybe interiguing, but I'm interesting to say the least. If you could just go through my bag, but for some reason never talk to me you'd learn a lot about that which is 'me' even though you'd not have spoken to me.
Well, this has no need to be epic, and I'm hungry. Lizabeth ill probable call me soon anyway. Ciao.
Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.
January 21, 2008
Nothing New
I've had some ideas, that I've ended up just contemplating then ultimately just scribbling out by hand so I wouldn't forget them. Yesterday I want back to contemplating why I like talking to certain people because I was thinking about asking Glenn what he thought might happen after my court date for speeding. I think the worst that could happen is my license gets suspended and I have an additional fine. I might not get punished too hard seeing as this is my first infraction, but I'm also not a minor, so I don't know.
But as I was contemplating why I would sooner ask Glenn this than my brothers I thought about the types of things I would go to Miguel or Dorien for. I'd go to Migs and Dor for car questions and advice for that. I'd go to Migs for specs and advice for choosing any sort of electronic. I mean, I have my own bit of knowledge about the specs that my computer has, or what any computer may have, but there are details and things that I'd go to Miguel for because that's what he'd know. Then I wondered what I'd go to Dorien for, and probably car advice, but that would also be both of them. I talk to Dorien for level headed conversation because he's much less of a bitch than Miguel is.
~~~
Something else I've contemplated to a minor degree is how easy it is for other people to talk to me. I mean I pry a fair bit, but I just happen to know things about different people. Am I just easy to talk to or is it because I'm accepting of people and what they tell me. I don't really pass judgment, and I am quite accepting of people who are different from myself. I guess it's a combination of different aspects of this that make me easy to talk to.
I have found this amusing, but I've never had a boyfriend but people do keep coming to me for advice. I've been sought out for advice from gay guys and female friends and I usually just find it amusing, but then give the logical resopnses, followed up with a few 'what if's and suggestions for with side of the issues at hand.
~~
I comment and notice the negative things I do more often than the positive things I say and do. I think that's because I don't think about it when I do something helpful for someone. I mean, i don't mind lending or giving someone some cash for something, or volunteering to do something. What I mean is I always notice when I've been especially and pointlessly rude to Elizabeth or something, but then I'll turn around and not even think about as I give her change to buy a drink, or give her [or anyone] advice about something they say. I'm oblivious to the nice things I do to or for people.
That make sme think of when I was in 6th grade and the smart and good students were allowed t once a week play with the pre-K students. Because of my patients and my longer fuse, in some situations, I was given en especially rude child. She was just a bit stand-offish and didn't always ant to play with me, so I'd end up spending the time chatting with other 6th graders who got to play with the pre-Ks, but I did try to engage my kid every week. Then one week I was either sick on the day I was supposed to be there, or the 6th graders had a field trip of something and when I was back the following week i remember the teacher telling me that the girl I had missed me. I was surprised because this girl had never seemed to really like playing or talking with me. I mean seriously, she usually ignored me. She'd be doing her own thing and I was kind of trying to follow and engage her and she wouldn't intern in gage me. I think part of what happened with her was she because used tot eh fact that I was always there, every week, without fail. She was sued tot he rhythm of my presence,m even though it was only once a week. I heard from the teacher that by the end of the year she was much nicer to people and I was seriously surprised that I had had that much of an affect on her.
~~
I could have sworn I had something else I was going to touch on here, but I can't remember it. C'est la vie.
Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.
But as I was contemplating why I would sooner ask Glenn this than my brothers I thought about the types of things I would go to Miguel or Dorien for. I'd go to Migs and Dor for car questions and advice for that. I'd go to Migs for specs and advice for choosing any sort of electronic. I mean, I have my own bit of knowledge about the specs that my computer has, or what any computer may have, but there are details and things that I'd go to Miguel for because that's what he'd know. Then I wondered what I'd go to Dorien for, and probably car advice, but that would also be both of them. I talk to Dorien for level headed conversation because he's much less of a bitch than Miguel is.
~~~
Something else I've contemplated to a minor degree is how easy it is for other people to talk to me. I mean I pry a fair bit, but I just happen to know things about different people. Am I just easy to talk to or is it because I'm accepting of people and what they tell me. I don't really pass judgment, and I am quite accepting of people who are different from myself. I guess it's a combination of different aspects of this that make me easy to talk to.
I have found this amusing, but I've never had a boyfriend but people do keep coming to me for advice. I've been sought out for advice from gay guys and female friends and I usually just find it amusing, but then give the logical resopnses, followed up with a few 'what if's and suggestions for with side of the issues at hand.
~~
I comment and notice the negative things I do more often than the positive things I say and do. I think that's because I don't think about it when I do something helpful for someone. I mean, i don't mind lending or giving someone some cash for something, or volunteering to do something. What I mean is I always notice when I've been especially and pointlessly rude to Elizabeth or something, but then I'll turn around and not even think about as I give her change to buy a drink, or give her [or anyone] advice about something they say. I'm oblivious to the nice things I do to or for people.
That make sme think of when I was in 6th grade and the smart and good students were allowed t once a week play with the pre-K students. Because of my patients and my longer fuse, in some situations, I was given en especially rude child. She was just a bit stand-offish and didn't always ant to play with me, so I'd end up spending the time chatting with other 6th graders who got to play with the pre-Ks, but I did try to engage my kid every week. Then one week I was either sick on the day I was supposed to be there, or the 6th graders had a field trip of something and when I was back the following week i remember the teacher telling me that the girl I had missed me. I was surprised because this girl had never seemed to really like playing or talking with me. I mean seriously, she usually ignored me. She'd be doing her own thing and I was kind of trying to follow and engage her and she wouldn't intern in gage me. I think part of what happened with her was she because used tot eh fact that I was always there, every week, without fail. She was sued tot he rhythm of my presence,m even though it was only once a week. I heard from the teacher that by the end of the year she was much nicer to people and I was seriously surprised that I had had that much of an affect on her.
~~
I could have sworn I had something else I was going to touch on here, but I can't remember it. C'est la vie.
Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.
January 14, 2008
English Paper attempt 1
So, this is my first attempt for my English Paper for 111C. It's most craptacular, but I have changed the focus fort eh second one. The re-written paper is about a tv show, Sunny, instead of being about Shawshank. I still think it's lacking as a paper, but the minimal direction is making this annoying. And errors be dammned, I didn't feel like properly re-reading this so it's being posted as craptacular as it was when I wrote it. I'm only posting this so I have a record of it for the future. Enjoy
Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.
Trying to define a ‘favorite’ anything for me is never easy. I have groups of favorites, not one single favorite movie, book or television show. Thinking through my groups of favorites and the longevity of things I have liked with how flighty I am in my decisions my favorite movie is and has been The Shawshank Redemption based off of the novella of the same title written by Stephen King. Having read the story, it is not my favorite story, but the movie has long been my favorite movie, ever since I saw it in roughly 1997.
The Shawshank Redemption is about Andy Dufrense’s internment in Shawshank Prison in
What I enjoy so much about this movie is how clever Andy is when he breaks out of prison and how his years to free work pay off for him. While Andy was doing the wardens accounting work from behind bars in Shawshank he was laundering money into a third party bank account that was created from prison. After he escapeshe informs the police of all the unpaid taxes and how many times the money for the warden was hidden from the government and how many things were accomplished off the record. The pure elegance in everything that Dufrense does to escape has always amused me.
He breaks out of prison with a rock hammer, a miniature pick axe, and by digging through the aged walls of Shawshank and escaping through a sewage pipe. He takes the third party bank account and the life of a man who had lived only on paper and makes it reality.
This movie is by favorite because of just how cleaver Dufrense was when he escaped. I also love how Freeman acted as Red. Freeman has been one of my favorite actors for years.
Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.
January 11, 2008
Music
I was originally going to transcribe and elaborate on my feelings of privacy, sharing artwork and creations and things that are personal and speak about you on different levels thank actually verbal speaking, but certain things have changed where my train of thought is and i will now shift to music and explaining my relationship with music.
~~
On more than one occasion I have credited my sanity to music, and my friends. I have credited the changes in my emotion to music and I live with music in my ear, a song in my heart, seriously, I always have music somewhere, either internally or externally depending on the situation.
Music is key to me and my emotion my mind. My cousin brought up the fact that I can read while listening to music. He said it would distract him. The music doesn't distract me from what I'm reading so much as it distracts from the world around me. The music puts me into my own cocoon of safety, protection and selfness so I can focus on what I'm setting out to focus on. The Music helps me to internalize my feelings and focus on my work, my book, my art, whatever.
I do use and keep music on for the background. I get wrapped up in it sometimes if I don't know the song and like it, like right now. I'm listening to 'Celos' by the Gotan Project. It's playing on Pandora, it's a song I haven't heard, but it's placid feeling is helping to keep me centered on what I'm trying to be centered in. Music fills in the void for that last part of my mind that is always out to find a new party, a new distraction from reality.
This isn't something easy to describe. I'll start from a beginning. This might also not be the right one for what I'm trying to accomplish at the moment, but it is a beginning that I've thought about.
When I first listen to a song I don't listen to the words. I actually ignore the words, but I listen to the sounds. the sound of the instruments, the sound of the voice[s] just the sound of the what I'm listening to. After the first few listening through then I start to pick out the lyrics, bit by bit. Then I finally listen to both the lyrics, the sound of the artist's voice and the music together as one sound. I don't think about the melding that I do, it just happens, but I do know the first time i heard a song i almost never pay any attention to the lyrics. The lyrics aren't important at that time, the feeling of the song is what i'm listening to, not the story being told.
When I'm depressed I like 'Pillmatic' by Gym Class Heroes because it's music was influenced by jazz, but there is a nice and defined skip beat with the drums throughout the song. The low tones and relaxed tempo set the emotion for the song.
I like techno and dance music when I'm happy because of just how energetic the songs are. The easy to find 4/4 or 2/4 beat make them easy to enjoy. Techno and dance mixes are also great for rising emotions because they just run with everything they've got. They're all over the spectrum of music and they just scream energy and positivity.
Rammsetin is terrific when I'm depressed or angry because that is just how German sounds. It's awesome when I'm depressed because of how certain songs like 'Amour' have a very pleasant lilting that just carries you along with the music. 'Du Hast' and 'Morgenstern' are energetic in ways that can be directed towards anger easily or towards just general emotion and activity.
Music is important because there has always ben music. There will always ben music with my family. Music is something the Three of Us have in common. The Three of Us being my brothers and myself, all have elaborate and far reaching bands and genres of music on our computers. We all love music and if there' anything we can agree on it's that music is important to all three of us. The past three times I was riding long distance in the car with my brothers some old reggae songs came on that we all knew and we sang along. We knew everything about the songs, even the scat singing because we've been listening to the same recordings of the songs for years. YEARS! we've heard these songs and sung along; 'Raggamuffin Love' by Barrington Levy 'liiife, life is what you make it, some come here my dear. just trryyy and make it, i know that you wiill. Raggamuffin-muffin gimmie the raggamuffin ya-ya. and 'Too Experienced' http://www.musicsonglyrics.com/M/msdynamitelyrics/msdynamitetooexperiencedlyrics.htm We know these songs back to front.
Music isn't just the background, it's the foreground, it's everything and at the same time, for me, it's nothing in a song. Music will always be important, it will always be key to my emotions and how i feel. My music doesn't so much as drive my emotions than it follows. However I feel dictates what I will listen to at a given time.
I can't quite remember where I was trying to go, but I'm distracted and hungry. Auf wiedersehen. I'll get back to that jounral about privacy at some point...maybe tomorrow or Sunday...
Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.
~~
On more than one occasion I have credited my sanity to music, and my friends. I have credited the changes in my emotion to music and I live with music in my ear, a song in my heart, seriously, I always have music somewhere, either internally or externally depending on the situation.
Music is key to me and my emotion my mind. My cousin brought up the fact that I can read while listening to music. He said it would distract him. The music doesn't distract me from what I'm reading so much as it distracts from the world around me. The music puts me into my own cocoon of safety, protection and selfness so I can focus on what I'm setting out to focus on. The Music helps me to internalize my feelings and focus on my work, my book, my art, whatever.
I do use and keep music on for the background. I get wrapped up in it sometimes if I don't know the song and like it, like right now. I'm listening to 'Celos' by the Gotan Project. It's playing on Pandora, it's a song I haven't heard, but it's placid feeling is helping to keep me centered on what I'm trying to be centered in. Music fills in the void for that last part of my mind that is always out to find a new party, a new distraction from reality.
This isn't something easy to describe. I'll start from a beginning. This might also not be the right one for what I'm trying to accomplish at the moment, but it is a beginning that I've thought about.
When I first listen to a song I don't listen to the words. I actually ignore the words, but I listen to the sounds. the sound of the instruments, the sound of the voice[s] just the sound of the what I'm listening to. After the first few listening through then I start to pick out the lyrics, bit by bit. Then I finally listen to both the lyrics, the sound of the artist's voice and the music together as one sound. I don't think about the melding that I do, it just happens, but I do know the first time i heard a song i almost never pay any attention to the lyrics. The lyrics aren't important at that time, the feeling of the song is what i'm listening to, not the story being told.
When I'm depressed I like 'Pillmatic' by Gym Class Heroes because it's music was influenced by jazz, but there is a nice and defined skip beat with the drums throughout the song. The low tones and relaxed tempo set the emotion for the song.
I like techno and dance music when I'm happy because of just how energetic the songs are. The easy to find 4/4 or 2/4 beat make them easy to enjoy. Techno and dance mixes are also great for rising emotions because they just run with everything they've got. They're all over the spectrum of music and they just scream energy and positivity.
Rammsetin is terrific when I'm depressed or angry because that is just how German sounds. It's awesome when I'm depressed because of how certain songs like 'Amour' have a very pleasant lilting that just carries you along with the music. 'Du Hast' and 'Morgenstern' are energetic in ways that can be directed towards anger easily or towards just general emotion and activity.
Music is important because there has always ben music. There will always ben music with my family. Music is something the Three of Us have in common. The Three of Us being my brothers and myself, all have elaborate and far reaching bands and genres of music on our computers. We all love music and if there' anything we can agree on it's that music is important to all three of us. The past three times I was riding long distance in the car with my brothers some old reggae songs came on that we all knew and we sang along. We knew everything about the songs, even the scat singing because we've been listening to the same recordings of the songs for years. YEARS! we've heard these songs and sung along; 'Raggamuffin Love' by Barrington Levy 'liiife, life is what you make it, some come here my dear. just trryyy and make it, i know that you wiill. Raggamuffin-muffin gimmie the raggamuffin ya-ya. and 'Too Experienced' http://www.musicsonglyrics.com/M/msdynamitelyrics/msdynamitetooexperiencedlyrics.htm We know these songs back to front.
Music isn't just the background, it's the foreground, it's everything and at the same time, for me, it's nothing in a song. Music will always be important, it will always be key to my emotions and how i feel. My music doesn't so much as drive my emotions than it follows. However I feel dictates what I will listen to at a given time.
I can't quite remember where I was trying to go, but I'm distracted and hungry. Auf wiedersehen. I'll get back to that jounral about privacy at some point...maybe tomorrow or Sunday...
Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.
January 6, 2008
Lasting Impressions
'They' say that first impressions are lasting, and for me I do know that's true. When I first meet somebody it's not so much that I pass judgement on them and it can't change so much that I give them an 'interest rate' if I find them interesting then I will try to and I will desire to talk to them, befriend them. All my friend were given these ratings and from this I decided to trust people.
Earlier, I was thinking about how I've changed. This past weekend I drove halfway across the state, alone, to watch a fencing tournament. I stayed in the house of one of my brother's friends, a woman I've spoken to maybe twice, and I slept in the bed of a man I just met on New Years. It's not like that, he's away at the bachelor party for a friend. I am currently alone in the friend's house with her 'evil' cat that seriously loves me. I swear, I came back last night and the cat was sleeping on my dirty laundry...cats are weird sometimes.
But back to the point so I can get to some fencing, I've never thought about how easy it is for me to trust someone and befriend them. All of my friend I've done this to. Well, Gg was a friend out of opportunity [our brothers were friends], Diane I'd befriended after she lost her clique in elementary school, but she seemed interesting which is why I noticed. Sam R. was interesting because everyone else shunned her. Alex was interesting because I thought he was cute, he reminded me of the way a webcomic artist drew herself, and he was new, and therefore interesting. Glenn was interesting because he could teach me to fence, CR just plain looks interesting, Matt L he's random, but when I first met him he was incredibly intelligent. Elizabeth was fun to talk to, easy to talk to. Allison is very silly and fun to talk to. Nick S. was interesting and amusing.
I use the word 'interesting' a lot, for me it's a word for every occasion. I draw or say 'interesting' things, I find people 'interesting' but that's a different form of interesting. Interesting is a perfect blanket term you can use to describe anything in a very non insulting way. I do love my rampant use of it.
Gahhh! Back to impressions, I have always been a very much so 'first impression' sort of person, but I am also quite willing to make changes to my opinions after I know someone better and they prove to be not as 'interesting' and I'd first thought.
Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.
Earlier, I was thinking about how I've changed. This past weekend I drove halfway across the state, alone, to watch a fencing tournament. I stayed in the house of one of my brother's friends, a woman I've spoken to maybe twice, and I slept in the bed of a man I just met on New Years. It's not like that, he's away at the bachelor party for a friend. I am currently alone in the friend's house with her 'evil' cat that seriously loves me. I swear, I came back last night and the cat was sleeping on my dirty laundry...cats are weird sometimes.
But back to the point so I can get to some fencing, I've never thought about how easy it is for me to trust someone and befriend them. All of my friend I've done this to. Well, Gg was a friend out of opportunity [our brothers were friends], Diane I'd befriended after she lost her clique in elementary school, but she seemed interesting which is why I noticed. Sam R. was interesting because everyone else shunned her. Alex was interesting because I thought he was cute, he reminded me of the way a webcomic artist drew herself, and he was new, and therefore interesting. Glenn was interesting because he could teach me to fence, CR just plain looks interesting, Matt L he's random, but when I first met him he was incredibly intelligent. Elizabeth was fun to talk to, easy to talk to. Allison is very silly and fun to talk to. Nick S. was interesting and amusing.
I use the word 'interesting' a lot, for me it's a word for every occasion. I draw or say 'interesting' things, I find people 'interesting' but that's a different form of interesting. Interesting is a perfect blanket term you can use to describe anything in a very non insulting way. I do love my rampant use of it.
Gahhh! Back to impressions, I have always been a very much so 'first impression' sort of person, but I am also quite willing to make changes to my opinions after I know someone better and they prove to be not as 'interesting' and I'd first thought.
Adios for now
:salute and bow:
Jasmine P.
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