So, yesterday I went back to Dr. Reed's office to get my incisions checked out and they look like hell to me. I was told they were fine, but they feel like shit, and hurt, and now I have more drugs so they make things better to deal with. But I also know that I have a vag that no dude is going to want to get near once it's all healed up. Seriously, I have pits in my flesh that I can put my finger in. I have pits under my arms I can put my finger in, and I don't know how much is going to heal properly. I don't know how much it's going to hear correctly, but from my perspective, I'm a little worried.
And there my reduced update of information you never wanted to know about my health =D
Suck it, or stop reading this, bitch. It's my journal and you're the one who decided to read this. Rolling out to a tournie tomorrow, maybe I'll have a less painful and medically detailed journal to post.
Jasmine P.
March 21, 2009
March 15, 2009
A Sea of Dire Straits
I really do have too much fun with non-sequitor titles, and my room is cold. Time to return the apartment temperature to it's proper 70 deg. place, then to continue on my post-op life :)
--
One minute later...
damn, that wasn't the apartment, that was me...which is probably a bad thing. Let's check our temperature. 99.1. Not the most worrisome thing, but I'll keep an eye on it, and I guess I'll take a short nap. I mean, I just took some ibuprofen about twenty minutes ago, so that's still working on kicking in.
Considering I can't remember where I left off, another moment or two to see what I last spoke about. :) So I drifted from Thursday night to Saturday morning. I'll write about trying to sleep then onto Friday, for reals.
-----
Sleeping in the hospital was hell, like always for me. Too many damn lights, and I'm supposed to sleep on my back? Friggin' impossible. So I try sleeping seriously around eleven and wake up around one. Knowing sleep won't be easy for me, I just chill and watch some King of the Hill, the beginning of an episode I'd watched the end of prior to sleep. I listened to some random SMod while sleeping and laughed at the stories that the gents shared. I woke up every few hours, once to pee, the other times to just try to lay back and get comfortable again. Dr. Reed came in arounf 6:30am and checked the bandages and spoke with me for a minute. I can't remember what he said, but I relaxed and watched a little bit of Wings before trying to sleep again. This time, aroung 7:30 Dr. Noorbakhsh came in, looked at the bandages and told me I'd be able to leave in a few hours.
I just chilled and watched TV alternately between listening to SMod until breakfast. Eating sucked because they hadn't given me any pain killers and my throat hurt from a tube they stuck down it during surgery. Aroung 10 they gave me some nampersin and after than the pain deminished. Dad and Pattie got to the hospital around 10:30 and I was back in the apartment by about noon. We dropped off the 'scrip and continued back to Powhatan where I told the guys of my inability to sleep. We chatted and Miguel and Dorien hung out with me when Dad and Pattie left to pick up the meds. I ate some lasagna slowly, as my throat still hurt, and didn't move much for about an hour. The guys left aroung 1, Dad and Pattie aoung 1:30 then I was alone and watched a coupl-a flicks.
Elizabeth came over around 4 and we chatted until 6, at which time I tok more drugs and watched more movies. Around nine something the Midget-bitch came back and that irritated me. I went to bed around 11 and slept awkwardly. Aroung 4:30 I woke up needing to pee, but was so afraid of tearing out my sutures that I waited too long and peed on my leg which was distressing and I was tired. It was a lot of pee, and I was more worried about blood because at an earlier time when I'd gone to the bathroom one of my healing wounds kept bleeding, just slowly dripping blood. I didn't want to see more blood falling from me so I stalled. Eventually I peed and one of the giand bandage pads I was given fell into the toilet, so I had to get that before flushing the toilet. I ended up making a sign to tell the Midget-bitch not to use the bathroom until I could clean the floor because I was in no state to clean that damn floor at no 5 in the morning.
I took some more drugs and went back to bed. I woke around 11 and ate more lasagna and took some more pain killers and sat high on the couch for at least 3 hours. I had no concept of time. Pretty awesome though. Watched more movies and tried typing which was idiotic because what I wrote made no sense. Still pretty fun. It was a pleasant lazy day I was typing description for dA, so I uploaded a few inked pictures and sketches that I want to color and just chilled. That evening I finally gave my stitches a good look and they didn't look as bad as I was thinking. They weren't really painful either, but I was also riding some painkiler or another so I couldn't feel pain, even if I wanted to.
I didn't do much and went to bed. Sunday, today, I woke up and made myself breakfast. Eggs, bacon and toast before sitting on the couch and watching Zack and Miri Make a Porno. Still amused by this movie. It's also been interesitng to see Kevin Smith's writing evolve, and his accpetance of ad-libbing. Back during Clerks, they stuck to the script, and now during Z&M they were riffing and it made it in. Maybe part of that, but I didn't notice his conversations coming out as much. Mallrats had some serious Clerks style conversations going on, but none of the rest of the Jersey Triliogy[even if there are 6 and not 3] seemed to have that going, not even ClerksII. I missed his clever writing, but I could appreciate it during Jersey Girl, which I don't understand why people didn't like it. I could see it being difficult to market, but it's a good movie in it's own right. I don't regret buying any of these movies and they've been an awesome way to relax for the weekend as I've been resting after my surgery.
I finished Z&M and watched the Making Of doc, and some of the features before decided I ought to read my english stuff, but opting to write a bit instead. Nothing hard hitting, just my life and what not.
I'm now going to take a nap, and I'll take care of things later. English and psych, and I jsut realized that I forgot to interview my brother's for my psych homework, I'll ask them it over the phone or something. I dunno. It's not due until Friday, so I have some time to take care of it. Rest first, work later. :)
Jasmine P.
--
One minute later...
damn, that wasn't the apartment, that was me...which is probably a bad thing. Let's check our temperature. 99.1. Not the most worrisome thing, but I'll keep an eye on it, and I guess I'll take a short nap. I mean, I just took some ibuprofen about twenty minutes ago, so that's still working on kicking in.
Considering I can't remember where I left off, another moment or two to see what I last spoke about. :) So I drifted from Thursday night to Saturday morning. I'll write about trying to sleep then onto Friday, for reals.
-----
Sleeping in the hospital was hell, like always for me. Too many damn lights, and I'm supposed to sleep on my back? Friggin' impossible. So I try sleeping seriously around eleven and wake up around one. Knowing sleep won't be easy for me, I just chill and watch some King of the Hill, the beginning of an episode I'd watched the end of prior to sleep. I listened to some random SMod while sleeping and laughed at the stories that the gents shared. I woke up every few hours, once to pee, the other times to just try to lay back and get comfortable again. Dr. Reed came in arounf 6:30am and checked the bandages and spoke with me for a minute. I can't remember what he said, but I relaxed and watched a little bit of Wings before trying to sleep again. This time, aroung 7:30 Dr. Noorbakhsh came in, looked at the bandages and told me I'd be able to leave in a few hours.
I just chilled and watched TV alternately between listening to SMod until breakfast. Eating sucked because they hadn't given me any pain killers and my throat hurt from a tube they stuck down it during surgery. Aroung 10 they gave me some nampersin and after than the pain deminished. Dad and Pattie got to the hospital around 10:30 and I was back in the apartment by about noon. We dropped off the 'scrip and continued back to Powhatan where I told the guys of my inability to sleep. We chatted and Miguel and Dorien hung out with me when Dad and Pattie left to pick up the meds. I ate some lasagna slowly, as my throat still hurt, and didn't move much for about an hour. The guys left aroung 1, Dad and Pattie aoung 1:30 then I was alone and watched a coupl-a flicks.
Elizabeth came over around 4 and we chatted until 6, at which time I tok more drugs and watched more movies. Around nine something the Midget-bitch came back and that irritated me. I went to bed around 11 and slept awkwardly. Aroung 4:30 I woke up needing to pee, but was so afraid of tearing out my sutures that I waited too long and peed on my leg which was distressing and I was tired. It was a lot of pee, and I was more worried about blood because at an earlier time when I'd gone to the bathroom one of my healing wounds kept bleeding, just slowly dripping blood. I didn't want to see more blood falling from me so I stalled. Eventually I peed and one of the giand bandage pads I was given fell into the toilet, so I had to get that before flushing the toilet. I ended up making a sign to tell the Midget-bitch not to use the bathroom until I could clean the floor because I was in no state to clean that damn floor at no 5 in the morning.
I took some more drugs and went back to bed. I woke around 11 and ate more lasagna and took some more pain killers and sat high on the couch for at least 3 hours. I had no concept of time. Pretty awesome though. Watched more movies and tried typing which was idiotic because what I wrote made no sense. Still pretty fun. It was a pleasant lazy day I was typing description for dA, so I uploaded a few inked pictures and sketches that I want to color and just chilled. That evening I finally gave my stitches a good look and they didn't look as bad as I was thinking. They weren't really painful either, but I was also riding some painkiler or another so I couldn't feel pain, even if I wanted to.
I didn't do much and went to bed. Sunday, today, I woke up and made myself breakfast. Eggs, bacon and toast before sitting on the couch and watching Zack and Miri Make a Porno. Still amused by this movie. It's also been interesitng to see Kevin Smith's writing evolve, and his accpetance of ad-libbing. Back during Clerks, they stuck to the script, and now during Z&M they were riffing and it made it in. Maybe part of that, but I didn't notice his conversations coming out as much. Mallrats had some serious Clerks style conversations going on, but none of the rest of the Jersey Triliogy[even if there are 6 and not 3] seemed to have that going, not even ClerksII. I missed his clever writing, but I could appreciate it during Jersey Girl, which I don't understand why people didn't like it. I could see it being difficult to market, but it's a good movie in it's own right. I don't regret buying any of these movies and they've been an awesome way to relax for the weekend as I've been resting after my surgery.
I finished Z&M and watched the Making Of doc, and some of the features before decided I ought to read my english stuff, but opting to write a bit instead. Nothing hard hitting, just my life and what not.
I'm now going to take a nap, and I'll take care of things later. English and psych, and I jsut realized that I forgot to interview my brother's for my psych homework, I'll ask them it over the phone or something. I dunno. It's not due until Friday, so I have some time to take care of it. Rest first, work later. :)
Jasmine P.
Movie and Medical Madness
So, it's been a short period of time and I have a small window of writing ability ot take care of a bit of story telling about my last few days. I blame typos on my little medi-collada I took five minutes prior to attempting to write this.
I spent last weekend hanging with Alex, that was awesome, per usual, and we watched a whole mess of awesome movies, which was pretty sweet. We caught Watchmen, which I enjoyed thuroughly. I made it home on Sunday and spent a few days there before my surgery on Thursday morning. Nothing special happened at home, but I was in a whole mess of pain. That I do remember.
Wendesday Dorien and I drove down to Norfolk. We went to Moe's for a late lunch. We sat around the apartment for a while and I took a nap before eating my last pre-op meal around 9 that night. I didn't consume anything after 10:30/11. I went to bed not too long before midnight. I slept like shit because I didn't take any tylenol. Woke up a few times during the night, and dreamt that my surgery would have to be pushed back because I kept forgetting I couldn't eat, and would eat stuff.
I woke up around 7:44am and got ready. I left the old bandages, but changed the ones from the groin area because those were straight up foul, and not taped to me, like the ones under my arms. Dad got here literally right when we were going to leave and I got to the hospital around 9:47, when they were calling me to make sure I was on my way. I checked in and we hung out in the waiting room until about...10:15 then I left the fam. and headed for pre-op. I got an IV placed in my left hand, and changed into a gown. I was nervous, but tried not to be, I was also cold and said as much.
From the pre-op I was asked a variety of health related questions such as the likelyhood of my being pregant and the last time I had imbibed anything from food, to booze to cigarettes and the frequency. I answered truthfully, not reason not to. Well, aside from how much tylenol I took, that I lied about.
Dr. Reed came in during the second round of the questions and marked me up with a purple pen so they knew where they were going to cut and what not. That was interesting. Mildly awkward...thankfully only mildly. I saw Dorien and Dad one last time, Miguel didn't arrive until I was in my 24hour post op room. I got wheeled into the operation room. It was cold in there, they gave me some warm blankets and had me slide from the first bed to the operation bed. That was a skinny little bed. I laid on it and I think they ran something through IV I think. I remember them putting the mask over my face, the air in it was cold. I was out and I have been told that the surgery went fine. I feel fine two days later.
I remember waking up in the recovery room. It was cold there, and somehow between the surgical studio and the recovery room my IV fell out, so tehy had to try to give me another. I was fine with the first few attempts, but by the 5th attempt to give me an IV from torunaquette all the way to them stabbing me and failing I was getting annoyed and whiney and fidgity. I told them I was cold and after tehy warmed me up a bit they were able to get an Iv into me, in my left arm. And at one point they tried my foot. That one annoyed me. My friggin' foot. I got a few doses of morphine, that was sweet. No pain, and I wanted to sleep.
Terry, my man nurse, kept telling me to breath deeper, I have a penchant for shallow breathing apparently. He was also awesome and gave me some ice chips and apple juice after I was out of surgery for a few hours. He asked me how tolerable my pain was. At it's worst I was only at 6, and at the best in the recovery room I was at about 2. He also got me a bedpan. That was pretty embarassing and awkward, trying to use a bed pan. I was sure that I had peed in the bed and not in the bedpan, but I had to pee. I had to pee a lot.
I was moved form the recovery room to the post-op 24 hour stay around 5 or 6. I was in the room for a few minutes before Dad, Pattie and Dorien got there. I told them about the IV and how I was feeling. I made it to the bathroom again at some point, and I did have fun telling Dad to close his eyes or what not when the doctor's were looking at the bandages or when I went to the bathroom.
Oh, aside from Dr. Reed remember me and the fact that I fenced, my post op doctor I met back in September, Dr. Noorbakhsh also remembered me and my fencing. Weird, seriously. He was nice still, so my stay in thehospital was bearble. I slept terribly that night, and that it the conclusion of the story for now. My next post will tackle Friday and Saturday which will recant my being doped on pain killers and watching TV and trying to type and do things on the computer. Nothing too crazy, but I do want to remember this time, and this is on the internet for the fuck of it. It's not so personal that I need to save it to my HD, and if you think it is, fuck off and find something else to read.
Jasmine P.
I spent last weekend hanging with Alex, that was awesome, per usual, and we watched a whole mess of awesome movies, which was pretty sweet. We caught Watchmen, which I enjoyed thuroughly. I made it home on Sunday and spent a few days there before my surgery on Thursday morning. Nothing special happened at home, but I was in a whole mess of pain. That I do remember.
Wendesday Dorien and I drove down to Norfolk. We went to Moe's for a late lunch. We sat around the apartment for a while and I took a nap before eating my last pre-op meal around 9 that night. I didn't consume anything after 10:30/11. I went to bed not too long before midnight. I slept like shit because I didn't take any tylenol. Woke up a few times during the night, and dreamt that my surgery would have to be pushed back because I kept forgetting I couldn't eat, and would eat stuff.
I woke up around 7:44am and got ready. I left the old bandages, but changed the ones from the groin area because those were straight up foul, and not taped to me, like the ones under my arms. Dad got here literally right when we were going to leave and I got to the hospital around 9:47, when they were calling me to make sure I was on my way. I checked in and we hung out in the waiting room until about...10:15 then I left the fam. and headed for pre-op. I got an IV placed in my left hand, and changed into a gown. I was nervous, but tried not to be, I was also cold and said as much.
From the pre-op I was asked a variety of health related questions such as the likelyhood of my being pregant and the last time I had imbibed anything from food, to booze to cigarettes and the frequency. I answered truthfully, not reason not to. Well, aside from how much tylenol I took, that I lied about.
Dr. Reed came in during the second round of the questions and marked me up with a purple pen so they knew where they were going to cut and what not. That was interesting. Mildly awkward...thankfully only mildly. I saw Dorien and Dad one last time, Miguel didn't arrive until I was in my 24hour post op room. I got wheeled into the operation room. It was cold in there, they gave me some warm blankets and had me slide from the first bed to the operation bed. That was a skinny little bed. I laid on it and I think they ran something through IV I think. I remember them putting the mask over my face, the air in it was cold. I was out and I have been told that the surgery went fine. I feel fine two days later.
I remember waking up in the recovery room. It was cold there, and somehow between the surgical studio and the recovery room my IV fell out, so tehy had to try to give me another. I was fine with the first few attempts, but by the 5th attempt to give me an IV from torunaquette all the way to them stabbing me and failing I was getting annoyed and whiney and fidgity. I told them I was cold and after tehy warmed me up a bit they were able to get an Iv into me, in my left arm. And at one point they tried my foot. That one annoyed me. My friggin' foot. I got a few doses of morphine, that was sweet. No pain, and I wanted to sleep.
Terry, my man nurse, kept telling me to breath deeper, I have a penchant for shallow breathing apparently. He was also awesome and gave me some ice chips and apple juice after I was out of surgery for a few hours. He asked me how tolerable my pain was. At it's worst I was only at 6, and at the best in the recovery room I was at about 2. He also got me a bedpan. That was pretty embarassing and awkward, trying to use a bed pan. I was sure that I had peed in the bed and not in the bedpan, but I had to pee. I had to pee a lot.
I was moved form the recovery room to the post-op 24 hour stay around 5 or 6. I was in the room for a few minutes before Dad, Pattie and Dorien got there. I told them about the IV and how I was feeling. I made it to the bathroom again at some point, and I did have fun telling Dad to close his eyes or what not when the doctor's were looking at the bandages or when I went to the bathroom.
Oh, aside from Dr. Reed remember me and the fact that I fenced, my post op doctor I met back in September, Dr. Noorbakhsh also remembered me and my fencing. Weird, seriously. He was nice still, so my stay in thehospital was bearble. I slept terribly that night, and that it the conclusion of the story for now. My next post will tackle Friday and Saturday which will recant my being doped on pain killers and watching TV and trying to type and do things on the computer. Nothing too crazy, but I do want to remember this time, and this is on the internet for the fuck of it. It's not so personal that I need to save it to my HD, and if you think it is, fuck off and find something else to read.
Jasmine P.
March 4, 2009
Another Day, Another Rant
I'm not trying with a much mroe conscious effort to maintain this for the time being considering i can't really draw. So from one passive-aggressive activity to another. But I'm also not really angry or at any real emotion outcropping, but I don't really care for most of what I draw. At the moment, if I'm not trying, it comes out awesomely
Anywho, I'm starting this off listening to Sway. This song is so totally my favorite song right now, it's just so pleasant and so much fun to sing to. It's the right type of moving that can cheer me up or calm me down. I just read an article about happiness and different myths, and something the author was talking about was people dealing with upset feelings and getting their happy back. I've know for a long time that music has one of the greatest effects for me. When I'm angry I listen to the power of a song, ignoring the lyrics. When I'm calmer and at peace I listen to something more placid and fluid. When I'm energetic it's something pumped, and then there are all the lines inbetween. Classical, techno, rock, rap, R&B, they each have their moments with me and for my emotions. I'm glad I figured out early on, on one way to harnes my emotions, to express them, then to get back in control of them. If I listen to Rammstein too much in a short period of time I know something's wrong. Most everything else is cool. Coheed and Cambria i'm a little upset, a little off, but mostly I'm fine. The Willing Well IV by C&C just started. They have a very measured tone for some of their songs which works depending on what I need. But I wasn't rally going to talk about that for too long, I was going to review the past few days. Why? Why the fuck not?
Hmm, we had Monday classes cancelled because of a little show and ice. I spent my day on the couch once I rolled out of bed and watched some B:TAS which was alright. The season 4 art really doesn't work out as well for the characters. Scarecrow makes more sense being a skinny fuck, and why the hell is Poison Ivy grey skinned now? I still like the episodes, and I'm fine with with Tim Drake, Dick Grayson was getting to be an annoying ass anyway. But his Nightwing design is poo.
Man, this is the least focused I've been for writing in a while. Heh, non since a Psych assignment from a few weeks back. That took too fucking long D8
Well, I've left the 'Batfamily Reunion' wallpaper behind and have moved onto the 3PS one I have of Risu. I like the simplicity of it. Seirously.
Hmm, apparently my life has been so boring for the past few days that I can't even maintain my attention span to write about it. I'll talk about food for a wee bit, and twitter before I go and pop some more tramadol and the sleep aid from tylenol pm and go to bed 2 hours earlier than I normally do.
Yesterday and on monday I made my own little bit of 'i'm playin' with mah food' awesome. I just sauteed some hot dogs with onions, green pepper, garlic and frozen peas and carrots. I ate that mess with rice, and it was good. It seriously was pretty dan enjoyable, which was awesome. I needed something simple to eat and it worked.
Ooh, on friday I fried some chicken thighs I had. They were forzen so after the very slow process of defrosting them in the pan I was going to fry them in, I cut them into smaller pieces once they were defrosted enough and seasoned it up and fried that shits. It was delicious. I ate that with some tortalinni I hadand a homemade tomato sauce that I'm not eating as a chip dip. Go ingenunity, and not wanting to throw away my little bit of food more often than I already do =D
Tonight's awesome dinner was a simple chicken soup I made. I defrosted three chicken legs I seasoned back in October and boiled them in water that was very simply seasoned. It was also a very small pot so there wasn't much room, but the chicken came out hella tender, which was freakin' sweet. I wish I had put something sweet into it though, maybe next time I'll drain a can of corn and toss that in, I'll also be working in a larger pot. I poured that into a bowl with some rice and it made for a small, but good enough dinner. I'm a little hungry 3 hours later, but it was a very low calorie dinner I guess. I'll be fine, and I can always lose a few pounds.
Speaking of weight loss, I looked at my face yesterday, and it seemed to be a bit skinner than I reemberd it being. Not as svelt and skinny as it was in Septeber post hospital stay, but a bit mroe slender than normal. My diet is the same, and I'm still not really exercsing, but oh well.
I've been a lto more comfortable since that boil on my ass popped the other day. TMI, I know, but don't read this if you don't want ot read about thigns like that. but seriously, walking and sitting and pretty much everything I need to do is much easier since I don't have a large pustule crushing my nerves every two seconds with every movement. God. I'm still limping, but that's from the abscess on my thigh. Yeah, right in the useful connective skin. It sucks.
Maybe I'll be able to get my disgusting bioligical shit off of here before someone important reads this...probably not...too late.
Before Twitter, the SMod Cast. That's Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier's podcast. I seriously spent pretty much all day today listening to most of the first 6. I say most of because my internet is built on fail and only downloaded half of some of the casts, soI had to re-download them. But they did make for quite entertianing listenings while I walked from one class to another. Yeah, freakin' amusing and awesome. So, my stupid fangirlisms aside, I will say this, I still think Mosier is adorable, married or not. And both he and Kevin Smith are pretty amusing to listen to. And by 'both' I mean' Smith' because Mosier doesn't talk half as much as Smith does, but without Mosier, it wouldn't half as much fun. Sometimes I take too much pleasure from calling people by their last names.
On to Twitter. This site it still ten types of useful. I follow celeb junk, why not. And a few strangers. But I find it odd when people follow me. Like one dude who couldn't spell 'Betelgeuise' correctly followed me because I said I was renting the movie. And someone else, who I vaguely wonder is my 12th grade english teacher, is now following my on Twitter. But it would be impossible to find me because I didn't start using this handle until late 2007, early 2008, and it would be a work out for her to find me from other sites. Yeah, some link right to it, but I think it's a random person. She wanted to know the receipe for my chicken soup, because I said it was killer, but I was just enjoying it. I consider most of my non-receipes to be friggin' killer, so... yeah. But I still enjoy my twitter and am happy that award season is over because just during the Oscars I got hundreds of updates from the film groups I watch. I kind of with Miramax wouldn't post the same tweet over and over, over the course of the day, but what can I do, I mean really. I'm fine with following them.
And I think I'm all personal reviewed out and will be going to bed soon...now ish.
Peace out internet. Have a good one, and I'll be back bright and early in the morning. :)
Jasmine P.
Anywho, I'm starting this off listening to Sway. This song is so totally my favorite song right now, it's just so pleasant and so much fun to sing to. It's the right type of moving that can cheer me up or calm me down. I just read an article about happiness and different myths, and something the author was talking about was people dealing with upset feelings and getting their happy back. I've know for a long time that music has one of the greatest effects for me. When I'm angry I listen to the power of a song, ignoring the lyrics. When I'm calmer and at peace I listen to something more placid and fluid. When I'm energetic it's something pumped, and then there are all the lines inbetween. Classical, techno, rock, rap, R&B, they each have their moments with me and for my emotions. I'm glad I figured out early on, on one way to harnes my emotions, to express them, then to get back in control of them. If I listen to Rammstein too much in a short period of time I know something's wrong. Most everything else is cool. Coheed and Cambria i'm a little upset, a little off, but mostly I'm fine. The Willing Well IV by C&C just started. They have a very measured tone for some of their songs which works depending on what I need. But I wasn't rally going to talk about that for too long, I was going to review the past few days. Why? Why the fuck not?
Hmm, we had Monday classes cancelled because of a little show and ice. I spent my day on the couch once I rolled out of bed and watched some B:TAS which was alright. The season 4 art really doesn't work out as well for the characters. Scarecrow makes more sense being a skinny fuck, and why the hell is Poison Ivy grey skinned now? I still like the episodes, and I'm fine with with Tim Drake, Dick Grayson was getting to be an annoying ass anyway. But his Nightwing design is poo.
Man, this is the least focused I've been for writing in a while. Heh, non since a Psych assignment from a few weeks back. That took too fucking long D8
Well, I've left the 'Batfamily Reunion' wallpaper behind and have moved onto the 3PS one I have of Risu. I like the simplicity of it. Seirously.
Hmm, apparently my life has been so boring for the past few days that I can't even maintain my attention span to write about it. I'll talk about food for a wee bit, and twitter before I go and pop some more tramadol and the sleep aid from tylenol pm and go to bed 2 hours earlier than I normally do.
Yesterday and on monday I made my own little bit of 'i'm playin' with mah food' awesome. I just sauteed some hot dogs with onions, green pepper, garlic and frozen peas and carrots. I ate that mess with rice, and it was good. It seriously was pretty dan enjoyable, which was awesome. I needed something simple to eat and it worked.
Ooh, on friday I fried some chicken thighs I had. They were forzen so after the very slow process of defrosting them in the pan I was going to fry them in, I cut them into smaller pieces once they were defrosted enough and seasoned it up and fried that shits. It was delicious. I ate that with some tortalinni I hadand a homemade tomato sauce that I'm not eating as a chip dip. Go ingenunity, and not wanting to throw away my little bit of food more often than I already do =D
Tonight's awesome dinner was a simple chicken soup I made. I defrosted three chicken legs I seasoned back in October and boiled them in water that was very simply seasoned. It was also a very small pot so there wasn't much room, but the chicken came out hella tender, which was freakin' sweet. I wish I had put something sweet into it though, maybe next time I'll drain a can of corn and toss that in, I'll also be working in a larger pot. I poured that into a bowl with some rice and it made for a small, but good enough dinner. I'm a little hungry 3 hours later, but it was a very low calorie dinner I guess. I'll be fine, and I can always lose a few pounds.
Speaking of weight loss, I looked at my face yesterday, and it seemed to be a bit skinner than I reemberd it being. Not as svelt and skinny as it was in Septeber post hospital stay, but a bit mroe slender than normal. My diet is the same, and I'm still not really exercsing, but oh well.
I've been a lto more comfortable since that boil on my ass popped the other day. TMI, I know, but don't read this if you don't want ot read about thigns like that. but seriously, walking and sitting and pretty much everything I need to do is much easier since I don't have a large pustule crushing my nerves every two seconds with every movement. God. I'm still limping, but that's from the abscess on my thigh. Yeah, right in the useful connective skin. It sucks.
Maybe I'll be able to get my disgusting bioligical shit off of here before someone important reads this...probably not...too late.
Before Twitter, the SMod Cast. That's Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier's podcast. I seriously spent pretty much all day today listening to most of the first 6. I say most of because my internet is built on fail and only downloaded half of some of the casts, soI had to re-download them. But they did make for quite entertianing listenings while I walked from one class to another. Yeah, freakin' amusing and awesome. So, my stupid fangirlisms aside, I will say this, I still think Mosier is adorable, married or not. And both he and Kevin Smith are pretty amusing to listen to. And by 'both' I mean' Smith' because Mosier doesn't talk half as much as Smith does, but without Mosier, it wouldn't half as much fun. Sometimes I take too much pleasure from calling people by their last names.
On to Twitter. This site it still ten types of useful. I follow celeb junk, why not. And a few strangers. But I find it odd when people follow me. Like one dude who couldn't spell 'Betelgeuise' correctly followed me because I said I was renting the movie. And someone else, who I vaguely wonder is my 12th grade english teacher, is now following my on Twitter. But it would be impossible to find me because I didn't start using this handle until late 2007, early 2008, and it would be a work out for her to find me from other sites. Yeah, some link right to it, but I think it's a random person. She wanted to know the receipe for my chicken soup, because I said it was killer, but I was just enjoying it. I consider most of my non-receipes to be friggin' killer, so... yeah. But I still enjoy my twitter and am happy that award season is over because just during the Oscars I got hundreds of updates from the film groups I watch. I kind of with Miramax wouldn't post the same tweet over and over, over the course of the day, but what can I do, I mean really. I'm fine with following them.
And I think I'm all personal reviewed out and will be going to bed soon...now ish.
Peace out internet. Have a good one, and I'll be back bright and early in the morning. :)
Jasmine P.
March 1, 2009
Too Cool
About an hour ago I finished reading Too Cool To Be Forgotten by Alex Robinson. I was totally engrossed in the story and wrapped up in it then it hit to close to home. I have figured that I probably haven't totally come to terms with my mother's death and seeing how he accepted his father's death through his anger left me feeling a wee bit melancholy. It was truly great to read, but I don't like reading about people losing parents as kids, especially if they're in high school because then it hit really close to home. His father died from ALS, so a disease based death doesn't make anything any better. I just had to be quite for a moment when I was done reading it.
On to another point, how the fuck can someone else tell me my living space is too dirty? I organize things when I feel like it and it's not like it's unsanitary, it's just cluttered, but it's not like ODU gave me storage space. I understand moving into an apartment that's not affiliated with the campus not having things, but this is my fucking campus. Why the fuck didn't you give me a goddam bookshelf and think about the realistic storage needs of a college student, fuck that, of a human. I seriously can't wait to move off campus.
Jasmine P.
On to another point, how the fuck can someone else tell me my living space is too dirty? I organize things when I feel like it and it's not like it's unsanitary, it's just cluttered, but it's not like ODU gave me storage space. I understand moving into an apartment that's not affiliated with the campus not having things, but this is my fucking campus. Why the fuck didn't you give me a goddam bookshelf and think about the realistic storage needs of a college student, fuck that, of a human. I seriously can't wait to move off campus.
Jasmine P.
A Continuation
Now, to continue with my not quite sordid affairs that have lasted me the past two months, we are now in February and I remember the past month with much more clarity than the prior, because it has been two goddamn months since January. Also, January was so long because it was packed with non-sequitors that came to mind and extra details. But onto the rest of Feruary.
On the 15th we went out to UVA for a tournament and I drank so much goddam coffee that my addiction as seriously be re-ignited in a painful way. Seriously, I drank 2 double shots before 8, and a edius Dunkin' Doughnuts coffee so I could be alert enough for the drive. I learned that Glenn is crap at maintaining a speed. He says this is the furthurest he's driven him 'new' stick shift, which I can accept, he also blames his cruise control for not working properly and I don't accept that because I can maintain my speed better, as far as I'm concerned, and I haveno cruise control. It's all in my foot, baby.
Oh yeah, the previous day, Valentines day, after sobering up enouhg for it to be safe for me to drive from Ian's place, I head over to the Walmart on Little Creek to buy some gatorade and thigns because I don't know what UVA's going to have, and it was a good idea. The gatorade was quite welomed as was the water, so I think I'll keep that up next semester, buying a case of water and a few gatorades for the fencers.
Za made some awesome cookies. Just pointing that out. They were delicious.
Hmm, I glossed over the torunie yesterday, it was a tournie the stats were put down quick style, so let's move back to me. That was Sunday, I was too tired upon returning to Norfolk to do my English reading, but ehh, I tink I had a writing and didn't do it it. Sleep prevailed. Hel, I was tired all day Monday from making the drive and not sleeping properly the weekend before. Hmm, On the Tuesday I went into the EVMS for a surgical consultation for my skin bacteria of terrible and pain and annoying and now itch. Fuck the healing, I'm tired fo the itchiness. But I go in there and after Dr. Britt sees them we figure outwhen I'll be getting them taken care of, the Thursday of my Spring Break, the 12th or something. I think it's the thirteenth.
After about an hour long conversation with my grandmother...
I spent the rest of that tuesday and that week to tell the truth trying to placate my family and tell them what was going on. That was tedious. Seriously tedious. I had to alay theri fears, but noe my father, Patti and my brothers are coming for about two days to hang with me and I dunno, to show they care. My brothers Ihave no problem with. But my father a few more issues because it's not like he's tried to maintan contact with me. I mean, yeah, I do call my brothers about once a week or so, so it's not that often, but we can still maintain a conversation. I never rally want to tell my father anything so I avoid telling him too many truths. He knows I'm goinginto surgery because you tell people that. And he's paying my insurance bills, he kind of really should know. I don't really want them to be here, but they're coming, so I guess I can deal.
Ehh, I've decided that augmentin is a bitch of a anti-bacterial. They gave it to me and now these things bleed, but they don't hurt all the time like before. They're just bloody and gross more often. Man, I'm sleepy now, but I have things to do and things I want to do, like see if I can find a new comic or two, but back to the past. That was that week.
I was bored and alone on Friday. I had been fine up until Friday to be on my own for the weekend, but once Friday ngiht hit I had a mean wave of lonely going on, so I went on an adventure down 64, heading east. That eventually took me to route 17, so I went south and all the way to Elizabeth City. I never didn't anything there, but that's because it was ten, it was dark and nothing was really open. Bumble-fuck towns suck like that. Back in Reston I could drive around and find something, almost anything would have been viable in NoVA, but not here. Yeah. I burned through half a tank of gas doing that too. Thankfully I havne't needed any more glas since then though, or else it would have been that much more annoying.
Saturday I don't remember what I did, but Saturday evening I hung out with Nicole. Incase of anything in the fture, Nicole is a new member to the odufc and she's pretty chill. Anywho, she made a homemade hot pocket, that's something I think I'll try, but I'll need a different type of binding agent, not cream cheese. I might try some type of gravy that's thickened with cracker crumbs or bread. I don't know yet.
This past week was fine, nothing spectacular. This past weekend I watched Clerks and have fallen in love. Ever since I saw Zack and Miri I read a book about Kevin Smith, well, it was a series of journals he had written back around 2003 before filming Jay and Silentbob Strike Back. I found the whole thing to be interesting and Smith has an interesting and unique writing style. I fell in love with Clerks for the reasons it got picked up. There's no real story, but it is a series of interactions. Some are inspired by things that have really happened, some are just some fucked up things he made up. It's a smooth combination of the two that make it awesome to watch. These conversations remind me of my favorite interactions with people, most notably, my interactions with Alex. Dant and Randal have a rapport that reminds me of me and Alex chatting about everything and nothing. And at the same time, everything is important, even if we're just talking about some movie or something stupid. Their conversations were what people did.
My opinion on why the movie is so well loved is that it is one of the most realistic looks at a normal 2o something. They're just stumbling around life and chatting about whatis important at that age. There's no easy way to lay the movie out, but I was caught my Smith's writing during Z&M which is why I needed to see this and for the next few months I'll be watching his other movies. I'll continue through the View Askew Universe to see what I can gleam from everything else. It's jsut a really unique writing style so it's also easy to see why he doesn't like ad-libbing, even thought ad-libbing is one of my favorite things.
I seriously can't put it all into words, this is easily something I'll be able to come back to some time in the future, what I think about this movie. But it's on my list. Something I will own as a DVD, and whatever entity of personal film ownership there will be in the future. It's something I will love when I'm 50, and I'll show it to my kids. Why, it just says something that most anyone at the age of 20-ish can get. Everyone will take away something different, but still important to know or understand about themselves and their friends.
From the extras there were comments about Randal's sexuality, but like they said it's a friend thing. People you're reall ygood friends with you become very protective of them. I'm highly protective of all of my friends, and I'm serious about it all. I would do most anything for any of my really good friends. That's how I am, that's how I pictured Randal. There's another character...Shawn and Gus from PSych have that type of relationship. They're best friends, and they're the only ones who can properly set the other straight, though in the movie Randal set Dante straight more often than not. It would seem like Dante would be in that position, but it works that it's Randal who does that. It's interesting to see the person who seems to be less serious and in control of things to be the much more centered person. The free spirit leads better sometimes and that day, that was the truth.
---
Well, not much more than a nut shell, that was the past two months for me. This journal and the previous one. I've needed to write and haven't had a good topic until now. A large part of it has been Clerks it made me want to write a script. I may start it. I may now, possibly. That's something I have to think about, but at the moment, it is something I'd like to do. But writing this out will also be good for the future when I don't remember my college experiences. Things like this will put some things back into perspective. I'll write more, probably. I might need to just write out something every evening since I have such a writing bug. I guess simply writing out my day will suffice. So maybe for a time this will just be a real journal and not a random collection of essays, but I do love the essays. They're me at my most me. Me at my most me. I'm at ease. I think the rain plus the movies and finally writing has set me to an easy. It's been so cathartic, I miss writing like this. I'll make the time for it since I can't draw worth shit right now, I might as well spend my time writing again.
Well, peace, love and applesauce. I'm not going to sleep, but I'm signing out for now. so PL&A and I'm rocked out, bitches.
Jasmine P.
On the 15th we went out to UVA for a tournament and I drank so much goddam coffee that my addiction as seriously be re-ignited in a painful way. Seriously, I drank 2 double shots before 8, and a edius Dunkin' Doughnuts coffee so I could be alert enough for the drive. I learned that Glenn is crap at maintaining a speed. He says this is the furthurest he's driven him 'new' stick shift, which I can accept, he also blames his cruise control for not working properly and I don't accept that because I can maintain my speed better, as far as I'm concerned, and I haveno cruise control. It's all in my foot, baby.
Oh yeah, the previous day, Valentines day, after sobering up enouhg for it to be safe for me to drive from Ian's place, I head over to the Walmart on Little Creek to buy some gatorade and thigns because I don't know what UVA's going to have, and it was a good idea. The gatorade was quite welomed as was the water, so I think I'll keep that up next semester, buying a case of water and a few gatorades for the fencers.
Za made some awesome cookies. Just pointing that out. They were delicious.
Hmm, I glossed over the torunie yesterday, it was a tournie the stats were put down quick style, so let's move back to me. That was Sunday, I was too tired upon returning to Norfolk to do my English reading, but ehh, I tink I had a writing and didn't do it it. Sleep prevailed. Hel, I was tired all day Monday from making the drive and not sleeping properly the weekend before. Hmm, On the Tuesday I went into the EVMS for a surgical consultation for my skin bacteria of terrible and pain and annoying and now itch. Fuck the healing, I'm tired fo the itchiness. But I go in there and after Dr. Britt sees them we figure outwhen I'll be getting them taken care of, the Thursday of my Spring Break, the 12th or something. I think it's the thirteenth.
After about an hour long conversation with my grandmother...
I spent the rest of that tuesday and that week to tell the truth trying to placate my family and tell them what was going on. That was tedious. Seriously tedious. I had to alay theri fears, but noe my father, Patti and my brothers are coming for about two days to hang with me and I dunno, to show they care. My brothers Ihave no problem with. But my father a few more issues because it's not like he's tried to maintan contact with me. I mean, yeah, I do call my brothers about once a week or so, so it's not that often, but we can still maintain a conversation. I never rally want to tell my father anything so I avoid telling him too many truths. He knows I'm goinginto surgery because you tell people that. And he's paying my insurance bills, he kind of really should know. I don't really want them to be here, but they're coming, so I guess I can deal.
Ehh, I've decided that augmentin is a bitch of a anti-bacterial. They gave it to me and now these things bleed, but they don't hurt all the time like before. They're just bloody and gross more often. Man, I'm sleepy now, but I have things to do and things I want to do, like see if I can find a new comic or two, but back to the past. That was that week.
I was bored and alone on Friday. I had been fine up until Friday to be on my own for the weekend, but once Friday ngiht hit I had a mean wave of lonely going on, so I went on an adventure down 64, heading east. That eventually took me to route 17, so I went south and all the way to Elizabeth City. I never didn't anything there, but that's because it was ten, it was dark and nothing was really open. Bumble-fuck towns suck like that. Back in Reston I could drive around and find something, almost anything would have been viable in NoVA, but not here. Yeah. I burned through half a tank of gas doing that too. Thankfully I havne't needed any more glas since then though, or else it would have been that much more annoying.
Saturday I don't remember what I did, but Saturday evening I hung out with Nicole. Incase of anything in the fture, Nicole is a new member to the odufc and she's pretty chill. Anywho, she made a homemade hot pocket, that's something I think I'll try, but I'll need a different type of binding agent, not cream cheese. I might try some type of gravy that's thickened with cracker crumbs or bread. I don't know yet.
This past week was fine, nothing spectacular. This past weekend I watched Clerks and have fallen in love. Ever since I saw Zack and Miri I read a book about Kevin Smith, well, it was a series of journals he had written back around 2003 before filming Jay and Silentbob Strike Back. I found the whole thing to be interesting and Smith has an interesting and unique writing style. I fell in love with Clerks for the reasons it got picked up. There's no real story, but it is a series of interactions. Some are inspired by things that have really happened, some are just some fucked up things he made up. It's a smooth combination of the two that make it awesome to watch. These conversations remind me of my favorite interactions with people, most notably, my interactions with Alex. Dant and Randal have a rapport that reminds me of me and Alex chatting about everything and nothing. And at the same time, everything is important, even if we're just talking about some movie or something stupid. Their conversations were what people did.
My opinion on why the movie is so well loved is that it is one of the most realistic looks at a normal 2o something. They're just stumbling around life and chatting about whatis important at that age. There's no easy way to lay the movie out, but I was caught my Smith's writing during Z&M which is why I needed to see this and for the next few months I'll be watching his other movies. I'll continue through the View Askew Universe to see what I can gleam from everything else. It's jsut a really unique writing style so it's also easy to see why he doesn't like ad-libbing, even thought ad-libbing is one of my favorite things.
I seriously can't put it all into words, this is easily something I'll be able to come back to some time in the future, what I think about this movie. But it's on my list. Something I will own as a DVD, and whatever entity of personal film ownership there will be in the future. It's something I will love when I'm 50, and I'll show it to my kids. Why, it just says something that most anyone at the age of 20-ish can get. Everyone will take away something different, but still important to know or understand about themselves and their friends.
From the extras there were comments about Randal's sexuality, but like they said it's a friend thing. People you're reall ygood friends with you become very protective of them. I'm highly protective of all of my friends, and I'm serious about it all. I would do most anything for any of my really good friends. That's how I am, that's how I pictured Randal. There's another character...Shawn and Gus from PSych have that type of relationship. They're best friends, and they're the only ones who can properly set the other straight, though in the movie Randal set Dante straight more often than not. It would seem like Dante would be in that position, but it works that it's Randal who does that. It's interesting to see the person who seems to be less serious and in control of things to be the much more centered person. The free spirit leads better sometimes and that day, that was the truth.
---
Well, not much more than a nut shell, that was the past two months for me. This journal and the previous one. I've needed to write and haven't had a good topic until now. A large part of it has been Clerks it made me want to write a script. I may start it. I may now, possibly. That's something I have to think about, but at the moment, it is something I'd like to do. But writing this out will also be good for the future when I don't remember my college experiences. Things like this will put some things back into perspective. I'll write more, probably. I might need to just write out something every evening since I have such a writing bug. I guess simply writing out my day will suffice. So maybe for a time this will just be a real journal and not a random collection of essays, but I do love the essays. They're me at my most me. Me at my most me. I'm at ease. I think the rain plus the movies and finally writing has set me to an easy. It's been so cathartic, I miss writing like this. I'll make the time for it since I can't draw worth shit right now, I might as well spend my time writing again.
Well, peace, love and applesauce. I'm not going to sleep, but I'm signing out for now. so PL&A and I'm rocked out, bitches.
Jasmine P.
On January and February 2009
Well, it's been a nie long while since I've taken any decent documentation of my life, or have written my rants and responses to muhc of anything. I think I posted on about R. Rodriguez, and just yesterday there was a letter to Kevin Smith, but nothing that will really remind me of what these past few months have been like. I have a few small things written on LJ, but nothing really major or interesting. Well a few things have happened, but I'm not at liberty to post it here, but that will be taken care of being written somewhere, but not on the internet. It was awkward to begin with and it's in my best interest to not have it wherever on the internet. I mean, I can reveal any of my own secrets, but other people's business to a degree, but we'll get to that when we get to February.
January.
2009 started up in Reston, VA, like most of my years. I just hung out with Dorien and we watched Burn After Reading, which I had purchased not too long prior to ringing in the New Year. That was an interesting movie, over all I liked it, but I'm not entirely sure why. I know I didn't do much for the beginning of January. Early in January I rocked out to Sin City a whole bunch. Seriously. I friggin' love that movie so it was a great way to break off 2009. I reember spending most of my time on my own, but that's the case when I'm back home.
January was when I'd run out of Vicodin and was in pretty extreme amounts of pain. That pain is from Hippastrum something, a bacteria that gets into your pores. It like a warm damp environment, such as the groin and the arm pit. I have it in both locations, I guess I'll thre beause it's under both arms. I mostly talk about ht eones under my arms, but that's because it's that muhc less awkways, and I highly doubt people want ot know about my fucked up twat. I mean, it's like a fucking asteroid down there, craters and shit. It's fucking gross. Yeah, this is my journal for my shit. If you don't like it then you can suck it. I haven't spoken about it because the ones on my arms do enouhg to slow a conversation that I don't need to talk about my groin, even if those are the ones that are the most bothersome at the moment. But back to january, I decided to use my Twitter to remind me a bit about what has gone on. This section of the rant was inspired by my comments on the effects of Tylenol Pm and my being in pain. I've been in almost constant pain for the past 8 months, and thankfully that will be coming to an end soon, but that will be spoken about at length in February. I'll add this last point, healing sucks, I'm itchy as all fuck.
So, January. I lived on the couch and colored two pictures and a comic. One is about Icarus and Leopold and I titled it 'Pink Lemonade' because of the background and boarder colors. I was mostly messing around, but I do like the over all and I really like the composition. I wish Icky was more in character, but I like the picture none the less. The second was one of Alexis, Daisuke and Aryan. A similar composition for all three, but keeping the colors was clashing was so friggin' irritating. Eahc character has their own scheme, then their background couldn't be too similar to eachother's back grounds, but couln't clash with their personal color schemes, and I didn't want the colors to be too similar. This one the characters are muhc mor ein character, even is Alexis isn't wearing her normal traveling garb, it still work quite nicely. And her abs are dead sexy here. I also finally finished the Christmas gift comic I drew for Za, CR and Sean, I just never made them their prints, but they have each seen the comic, which is well enough.
That is how I spent most of early January. I also started my big Movie List of 2009 and the less dramatic Big Book List of 2009. As of this writing I've watched 31 movies, probably about 26 different flicks. That's been prettty sweet. It's just that it seems to me that all I do is watch movies, so I might as well know what I spent my year watching. It'll also be an interesting wat to keep track of my varying interests, and at the end of the year to see what has influenced changes in my movie viewing pleasure. In Jnuary I was highly taken by Sin City. That started a Robert Rodriguez kick so I finally bought El Mariachi, his first movie and loved it to pieces and had to buy more of his movies. I know own many of the movies he's directed. But back to January. When I wasn't watching movies, I was watching House. Seriously, all I did over break was watch USA and the Food Network with a little bit of other in between. And some B:TAS, one seasn left to watch, I was thinking about over Spring Break, I dunno.
I'm supposed to hang out with the Ficus before leaving Nrofolk to drive back here and not see him unti some undetermined time, which has ended up being next weekend. Woot woot. But he decided to eat at the Wendy's back home. I schooled him, told him it was built on sketch and disease, because that Wendy's was, is. The end of my Winter Break wasn't that climatic, but I did spend my last days relaxing, which is pretty awesome.
I make my way back to campus and spend more time that I'd like alone. I have been and I think that plus my English class has started this littlemountian of writing and inspiration to write. I just haven't given into it until now.
My first day of classes isn't terrible and neither is my second day. I decided to roll all my spare change which is sweet becase it adds up to $40, so I have some extra spending change and extra money is always awesome. I hit up the Phoenix movie theater, the one by the Naval Base and watch Valkyrie. That was an interesting movie, and I was sad when they failed to kill Hitler. The characters were so fucking earnest. that made them likable and adorable. They were so honest in their desire to dethrone Hitler in a coup that when they fail I forgot that historically Hitler committed suicide. That made me think and maybe write a little. Somewhere.
My first week was ineventful. The second week things kick off early with my laptop catching some bitch of a virus. That was hell, and I slowly learn that Logic and Philosophy was a stupid class choice. Hmm, actually, remember time better, my computer got the virus on thef irst Tuesday of the semester which I was rolling my money so going out also doubled as something to do until I got it back two days later. Thankfully, his hard drive was intact from that little circle of hell.
I spend January going to classes and at some point I loose the Club election of President. Over winter Break Jason realised that being a captain and president was a ahll of a position to be in and resigned form being President. Glenn was elected into his position and I was elected to be Vice President, and have spent most of my club time for the past few weeks shadowing whatever Glenn's needed to do for the Club and taking care of things that he has hasn't been able to make for some reason or another.
Nothing really special happens for the rest of January, I don't think. Twitter for the verification. Ahh, I remember this now. I started smoking a little the night I went to see Vaklyrie. Part of it was I missed how relaxful break was and the few cigs I had with the Ficus, so I bought a pack I still have like half of it because it's usually too goddam cold out there to stand around for ten minutes smoking. I like my hands thank you very much.
Around the end of January a few upper classmen started chatting with me up in Borjo because I was reading Brenner's book and they're logic majors or some bull shit. They are interesting to chat with. A few really sweet OSTs came into my possession at thi time. That was pretty awesome. Sin City, Darjeeling Limited, No Reservations. All three have their own bit of special and sex.
I lost Onyx on Inauguration Day, and haven't found him since and hope I find him by the end of the semester when I'm moving out.
BEfore January was over I saw Defiance with Glenn and Dan F. that was interesting, but Glenn was his usually distracting self, but the experience wouldn't be the same if he hasn't been like that. I accept it, but will still totaly hit him at the time for it.
There was a litt bit of internet drama that I successfully broke up. That was cool. I got back into the Pan RPG. That's where the drama was. Well, that and the club drama.
Ooh, my weekend with no caffeine was back in January. Bad weekend. that's when my parking permit disappeared and I almost got hit by a car.
February.
So I've written about the car incident a few times, but don't feel like going into it anymore, it was a bitch. The first weel of February was a little slow. I made my first maradaide from scratch this weekend, and watched Zack and Miri which started me on Kevin Smith. Nothing realy big happened. More movies and soundtracks.
I got my phone replaced. The last was was bieng a glitchy shit, and Miguel still had him instinct, so he mailed that to me. Freak'in awesome.
Hmm, Feb 13 I hang out with ian and Nicole and we spend the evnign getting drunk. Well, Nicle is more drunk than Ian or myself, and I'm way more drunk than Ian is, but I remember the big things. We played a few drinking games and watched futurama and Grandma's Boy. There was pletny of stupid conversation to go around. We decide to all go to bed at 5 and all pretty much stay up until about 7. I don't sleep except for in hour incriments so I give up and read until the other two wake up then I sober up and we all chat. I drive out to the wal-mart down Little Creek to buy some gatorade because on the 15th I drive out to UVa for a tournament.
The Tournament was Diana's first and she killed in her poor snad placed 13 out of 16 from the pools It was awesome. Mackenzie had a slow morning but owned her second poor and attacked on to victory in her first DE where she was last seed and beat the top seed. Casey had a bad morning all morning. That drive was a bitch but I made it. God, I'm ready to go to bed, so sometime after sleeping I'll wrap up February in a different journal and my not too interesting little tale will some it its pretty dull end.
Jasmine P.
January.
2009 started up in Reston, VA, like most of my years. I just hung out with Dorien and we watched Burn After Reading, which I had purchased not too long prior to ringing in the New Year. That was an interesting movie, over all I liked it, but I'm not entirely sure why. I know I didn't do much for the beginning of January. Early in January I rocked out to Sin City a whole bunch. Seriously. I friggin' love that movie so it was a great way to break off 2009. I reember spending most of my time on my own, but that's the case when I'm back home.
January was when I'd run out of Vicodin and was in pretty extreme amounts of pain. That pain is from Hippastrum something, a bacteria that gets into your pores. It like a warm damp environment, such as the groin and the arm pit. I have it in both locations, I guess I'll thre beause it's under both arms. I mostly talk about ht eones under my arms, but that's because it's that muhc less awkways, and I highly doubt people want ot know about my fucked up twat. I mean, it's like a fucking asteroid down there, craters and shit. It's fucking gross. Yeah, this is my journal for my shit. If you don't like it then you can suck it. I haven't spoken about it because the ones on my arms do enouhg to slow a conversation that I don't need to talk about my groin, even if those are the ones that are the most bothersome at the moment. But back to january, I decided to use my Twitter to remind me a bit about what has gone on. This section of the rant was inspired by my comments on the effects of Tylenol Pm and my being in pain. I've been in almost constant pain for the past 8 months, and thankfully that will be coming to an end soon, but that will be spoken about at length in February. I'll add this last point, healing sucks, I'm itchy as all fuck.
So, January. I lived on the couch and colored two pictures and a comic. One is about Icarus and Leopold and I titled it 'Pink Lemonade' because of the background and boarder colors. I was mostly messing around, but I do like the over all and I really like the composition. I wish Icky was more in character, but I like the picture none the less. The second was one of Alexis, Daisuke and Aryan. A similar composition for all three, but keeping the colors was clashing was so friggin' irritating. Eahc character has their own scheme, then their background couldn't be too similar to eachother's back grounds, but couln't clash with their personal color schemes, and I didn't want the colors to be too similar. This one the characters are muhc mor ein character, even is Alexis isn't wearing her normal traveling garb, it still work quite nicely. And her abs are dead sexy here. I also finally finished the Christmas gift comic I drew for Za, CR and Sean, I just never made them their prints, but they have each seen the comic, which is well enough.
That is how I spent most of early January. I also started my big Movie List of 2009 and the less dramatic Big Book List of 2009. As of this writing I've watched 31 movies, probably about 26 different flicks. That's been prettty sweet. It's just that it seems to me that all I do is watch movies, so I might as well know what I spent my year watching. It'll also be an interesting wat to keep track of my varying interests, and at the end of the year to see what has influenced changes in my movie viewing pleasure. In Jnuary I was highly taken by Sin City. That started a Robert Rodriguez kick so I finally bought El Mariachi, his first movie and loved it to pieces and had to buy more of his movies. I know own many of the movies he's directed. But back to January. When I wasn't watching movies, I was watching House. Seriously, all I did over break was watch USA and the Food Network with a little bit of other in between. And some B:TAS, one seasn left to watch, I was thinking about over Spring Break, I dunno.
I'm supposed to hang out with the Ficus before leaving Nrofolk to drive back here and not see him unti some undetermined time, which has ended up being next weekend. Woot woot. But he decided to eat at the Wendy's back home. I schooled him, told him it was built on sketch and disease, because that Wendy's was, is. The end of my Winter Break wasn't that climatic, but I did spend my last days relaxing, which is pretty awesome.
I make my way back to campus and spend more time that I'd like alone. I have been and I think that plus my English class has started this littlemountian of writing and inspiration to write. I just haven't given into it until now.
My first day of classes isn't terrible and neither is my second day. I decided to roll all my spare change which is sweet becase it adds up to $40, so I have some extra spending change and extra money is always awesome. I hit up the Phoenix movie theater, the one by the Naval Base and watch Valkyrie. That was an interesting movie, and I was sad when they failed to kill Hitler. The characters were so fucking earnest. that made them likable and adorable. They were so honest in their desire to dethrone Hitler in a coup that when they fail I forgot that historically Hitler committed suicide. That made me think and maybe write a little. Somewhere.
My first week was ineventful. The second week things kick off early with my laptop catching some bitch of a virus. That was hell, and I slowly learn that Logic and Philosophy was a stupid class choice. Hmm, actually, remember time better, my computer got the virus on thef irst Tuesday of the semester which I was rolling my money so going out also doubled as something to do until I got it back two days later. Thankfully, his hard drive was intact from that little circle of hell.
I spend January going to classes and at some point I loose the Club election of President. Over winter Break Jason realised that being a captain and president was a ahll of a position to be in and resigned form being President. Glenn was elected into his position and I was elected to be Vice President, and have spent most of my club time for the past few weeks shadowing whatever Glenn's needed to do for the Club and taking care of things that he has hasn't been able to make for some reason or another.
Nothing really special happens for the rest of January, I don't think. Twitter for the verification. Ahh, I remember this now. I started smoking a little the night I went to see Vaklyrie. Part of it was I missed how relaxful break was and the few cigs I had with the Ficus, so I bought a pack I still have like half of it because it's usually too goddam cold out there to stand around for ten minutes smoking. I like my hands thank you very much.
Around the end of January a few upper classmen started chatting with me up in Borjo because I was reading Brenner's book and they're logic majors or some bull shit. They are interesting to chat with. A few really sweet OSTs came into my possession at thi time. That was pretty awesome. Sin City, Darjeeling Limited, No Reservations. All three have their own bit of special and sex.
I lost Onyx on Inauguration Day, and haven't found him since and hope I find him by the end of the semester when I'm moving out.
BEfore January was over I saw Defiance with Glenn and Dan F. that was interesting, but Glenn was his usually distracting self, but the experience wouldn't be the same if he hasn't been like that. I accept it, but will still totaly hit him at the time for it.
There was a litt bit of internet drama that I successfully broke up. That was cool. I got back into the Pan RPG. That's where the drama was. Well, that and the club drama.
Ooh, my weekend with no caffeine was back in January. Bad weekend. that's when my parking permit disappeared and I almost got hit by a car.
February.
So I've written about the car incident a few times, but don't feel like going into it anymore, it was a bitch. The first weel of February was a little slow. I made my first maradaide from scratch this weekend, and watched Zack and Miri which started me on Kevin Smith. Nothing realy big happened. More movies and soundtracks.
I got my phone replaced. The last was was bieng a glitchy shit, and Miguel still had him instinct, so he mailed that to me. Freak'in awesome.
Hmm, Feb 13 I hang out with ian and Nicole and we spend the evnign getting drunk. Well, Nicle is more drunk than Ian or myself, and I'm way more drunk than Ian is, but I remember the big things. We played a few drinking games and watched futurama and Grandma's Boy. There was pletny of stupid conversation to go around. We decide to all go to bed at 5 and all pretty much stay up until about 7. I don't sleep except for in hour incriments so I give up and read until the other two wake up then I sober up and we all chat. I drive out to the wal-mart down Little Creek to buy some gatorade because on the 15th I drive out to UVa for a tournament.
The Tournament was Diana's first and she killed in her poor snad placed 13 out of 16 from the pools It was awesome. Mackenzie had a slow morning but owned her second poor and attacked on to victory in her first DE where she was last seed and beat the top seed. Casey had a bad morning all morning. That drive was a bitch but I made it. God, I'm ready to go to bed, so sometime after sleeping I'll wrap up February in a different journal and my not too interesting little tale will some it its pretty dull end.
Jasmine P.
February 28, 2009
Mr. Smith
Kevin Smith,
It is apparently imperative that I write a letter you will most likely never see. If I in fact leave my waning sanity and send it to you, this line would be kept in because that's how I roll.
To being, let's put something in perspective, you graduated high school the year I was born.
Now that that's out of the way, to the meat and potatoes of this little little bit of verbose lovefest. I seriously loved Clerks. The second time I tried to watch it. Funny thin is it's been about two months since the first time I tried to watch it, but something wasn't right with me. I loved the cartoon and had to see where it all stemmed from, and finally after readng Silent Bob Speaks and after watching Robert Rodriguez's first couple of movies I had a better appreciation for 1) modern black and white film and 2) something as box destroying as Clerks.
I have spent the past month of January loving El Mariachi, Desperados, From Dusk Till dawn, Four Rooms and The Faculty and I read his book Rebel Without A Crew which put a whole new perspective in my mind about smaller budgeted films that legally there was no way I was seeing when they came out.
What I have decided I have to say to you is that I have spent my entire evening watching Clerks, about 4 times, and most of the special features from the Tenth anniversary collection that I rented from an independent movie rental place near my college campus. I loved the writing. I loved seeing words that most people don't see much too much further than outside of an English class room or in a dictionary when they're looking for dirty words. The rifts between the characters were hella realistic. That's not near how I talk with my friends, but we can and have gotten into conversations, deep conversations on such a variety of topics that how serious they were when they were talking about the most trite of subjects was one of the things that made it special.
Every group of friends has their topic[s]. It was an interesting peek inside your world, well, the world you lived in when you were about my age [you old fuck :)]and it is always nice to see that the youth of the world do have the love of a good conversation or debate, no matter what age they are. Here, it's that awkward stage between being an adult and being a child. I mean, in my eyes right now, I don't usually think of myself as an adult, and I don't can, truly call myself a child.
What this movie has done was inspire me to take my writing mroe seriously. I don't really want to write for a movie, but like many non-famous people I am interested in meeting some celebs. I'm much more interested in getting my own comic drawn and published, or to become a world reknown botanist. Those are things that make me happy. Comics and plants. What was the point of that, note sure, these things are mostly rants to tell the truth.
I loved Clerks and when I have the chance I'm renting the rest of the flicks from the Askewniverse. It seems to be an interesting place to visit every now and again. I know the rest won't be like Clerks, but I'm sure I'll fall in love with each of them for different reasons.
And another point, I loved Zack and Miri Make a Porno. That was the most interesting romantic comedy I've ever seen. The characters did seem to be the most real and they didn't follow the stereotypic relationship arc as in most romantic comedys. And the set up that they've known eachother for just about the entireity of their lives and they live together is a great set up for why they never slept together themselves. I loved what you did with the characters, everybody. Everything fit into the rules of the world. Every movie world has it's own set of rules, and the rules for Z&M were engaging and awesome.
Jasmine P.
It is apparently imperative that I write a letter you will most likely never see. If I in fact leave my waning sanity and send it to you, this line would be kept in because that's how I roll.
To being, let's put something in perspective, you graduated high school the year I was born.
Now that that's out of the way, to the meat and potatoes of this little little bit of verbose lovefest. I seriously loved Clerks. The second time I tried to watch it. Funny thin is it's been about two months since the first time I tried to watch it, but something wasn't right with me. I loved the cartoon and had to see where it all stemmed from, and finally after readng Silent Bob Speaks and after watching Robert Rodriguez's first couple of movies I had a better appreciation for 1) modern black and white film and 2) something as box destroying as Clerks.
I have spent the past month of January loving El Mariachi, Desperados, From Dusk Till dawn, Four Rooms and The Faculty and I read his book Rebel Without A Crew which put a whole new perspective in my mind about smaller budgeted films that legally there was no way I was seeing when they came out.
What I have decided I have to say to you is that I have spent my entire evening watching Clerks, about 4 times, and most of the special features from the Tenth anniversary collection that I rented from an independent movie rental place near my college campus. I loved the writing. I loved seeing words that most people don't see much too much further than outside of an English class room or in a dictionary when they're looking for dirty words. The rifts between the characters were hella realistic. That's not near how I talk with my friends, but we can and have gotten into conversations, deep conversations on such a variety of topics that how serious they were when they were talking about the most trite of subjects was one of the things that made it special.
Every group of friends has their topic[s]. It was an interesting peek inside your world, well, the world you lived in when you were about my age [you old fuck :)]and it is always nice to see that the youth of the world do have the love of a good conversation or debate, no matter what age they are. Here, it's that awkward stage between being an adult and being a child. I mean, in my eyes right now, I don't usually think of myself as an adult, and I don't can, truly call myself a child.
What this movie has done was inspire me to take my writing mroe seriously. I don't really want to write for a movie, but like many non-famous people I am interested in meeting some celebs. I'm much more interested in getting my own comic drawn and published, or to become a world reknown botanist. Those are things that make me happy. Comics and plants. What was the point of that, note sure, these things are mostly rants to tell the truth.
I loved Clerks and when I have the chance I'm renting the rest of the flicks from the Askewniverse. It seems to be an interesting place to visit every now and again. I know the rest won't be like Clerks, but I'm sure I'll fall in love with each of them for different reasons.
And another point, I loved Zack and Miri Make a Porno. That was the most interesting romantic comedy I've ever seen. The characters did seem to be the most real and they didn't follow the stereotypic relationship arc as in most romantic comedys. And the set up that they've known eachother for just about the entireity of their lives and they live together is a great set up for why they never slept together themselves. I loved what you did with the characters, everybody. Everything fit into the rules of the world. Every movie world has it's own set of rules, and the rules for Z&M were engaging and awesome.
Jasmine P.
February 20, 2009
++Necropolis++ Do or Die
He breath heavily. His body over hers. He looked down, waiting for a signal from her that this was the right thing to do. Her nude body underneath his was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.
This is a body he knew from growing up. 19 years they had know each other. As children they showed each other their differences. That was when he first truly understood she was different from him. It was also when he realized that he never wanted anyone else.
She moaned underneath him. She whispered his name. She begged him for more, for him to fill her. He entered her, every thought of the past disappearing as he disappeared into her warmth. Their mouths locked on one another, he could smell her familiar odor that she rarely covered. Any other scent mixed perfectly with hers heightening the arousal he felt around her.
Her voice rang in his ear, he was a slave to her, wanted more and wanted more than that to please her. Her voice pleaded with him, goading his faster, wishing he go deeper.
He worked, he was losing his mind. It was all much more than he thought it would be. He kissed her mouth, her breasts, her neck before starting over. His breathing was ragged as he felt his body release. She cried out moving more on his still frame until she felt her own peak.
Sweet murmurs were shared between the two. She hugged him, kissing him deeply once more. He smiled, burying his face in her chest knowing that his 5 year old self was right, there was no other person for him. It would be a do or die, and there was no better situation he wanted.
Jasmine P.
This is a body he knew from growing up. 19 years they had know each other. As children they showed each other their differences. That was when he first truly understood she was different from him. It was also when he realized that he never wanted anyone else.
She moaned underneath him. She whispered his name. She begged him for more, for him to fill her. He entered her, every thought of the past disappearing as he disappeared into her warmth. Their mouths locked on one another, he could smell her familiar odor that she rarely covered. Any other scent mixed perfectly with hers heightening the arousal he felt around her.
Her voice rang in his ear, he was a slave to her, wanted more and wanted more than that to please her. Her voice pleaded with him, goading his faster, wishing he go deeper.
He worked, he was losing his mind. It was all much more than he thought it would be. He kissed her mouth, her breasts, her neck before starting over. His breathing was ragged as he felt his body release. She cried out moving more on his still frame until she felt her own peak.
Sweet murmurs were shared between the two. She hugged him, kissing him deeply once more. He smiled, burying his face in her chest knowing that his 5 year old self was right, there was no other person for him. It would be a do or die, and there was no better situation he wanted.
Jasmine P.
February 16, 2009
Talent
I'm rubbing my back here for this, but my writing has time after time amazing and surprised me with just how well written things may be, or just how I say things.
The first time I noticed this was when I was proving some point for another and referenced my Flintstone Syndrome journal that I wrote last June or July. I was seriously stopped in my tracks when I read it. The writing surprised me because it was written at a level different from where I was. I mean, I know I'm a good writer, but I never re-read my work aside from a quick skim for major typos or grammatical brouhaha, but I never notice anything like this. I actually had to finish the journal just because I liked what I'd written so much.
I've been thinking about this for about a week off and on, and today I had another of those moments. It was one of those memes that's like '15 things about you' and i said "Death is the ultimate spoiler. Tell me how I'll die and I'll tell you how I'll live"
That just seemed like a poignant message. It was something written in the blink of an eye before, but now, it seems to have that much more weight to it. I don't know how, but I think it's an interesting display of my strength that I don't always feel. Seeing it so blatantly in front of my eyes, it's no wonder that I scare people. Now I seriously need to find someone who can compete with that strength. Match it as a perfect foil, keep it in check.
I dunno. I'm a mite distracted, and I got most of my point here. But this brings up another point of my journals. Some of them are incredibly unfullfilling because I end them when I lose focus. It's like running into a brick wall. But I also know that when I can't focus on them properly, the over all tone changes and then they become both a drag to read and a drag to write.
Anywho, I'll be back here...some other time. I finally have things to write, like about yesterday's tournament, but not now. I should start my paper before the night is over.
Jasmine P.
The first time I noticed this was when I was proving some point for another and referenced my Flintstone Syndrome journal that I wrote last June or July. I was seriously stopped in my tracks when I read it. The writing surprised me because it was written at a level different from where I was. I mean, I know I'm a good writer, but I never re-read my work aside from a quick skim for major typos or grammatical brouhaha, but I never notice anything like this. I actually had to finish the journal just because I liked what I'd written so much.
I've been thinking about this for about a week off and on, and today I had another of those moments. It was one of those memes that's like '15 things about you' and i said "Death is the ultimate spoiler. Tell me how I'll die and I'll tell you how I'll live"
That just seemed like a poignant message. It was something written in the blink of an eye before, but now, it seems to have that much more weight to it. I don't know how, but I think it's an interesting display of my strength that I don't always feel. Seeing it so blatantly in front of my eyes, it's no wonder that I scare people. Now I seriously need to find someone who can compete with that strength. Match it as a perfect foil, keep it in check.
I dunno. I'm a mite distracted, and I got most of my point here. But this brings up another point of my journals. Some of them are incredibly unfullfilling because I end them when I lose focus. It's like running into a brick wall. But I also know that when I can't focus on them properly, the over all tone changes and then they become both a drag to read and a drag to write.
Anywho, I'll be back here...some other time. I finally have things to write, like about yesterday's tournament, but not now. I should start my paper before the night is over.
Jasmine P.
January 8, 2009
Fan Letter 1
Since I'm never going to actually mail any of these out, I figure I might as well write them and have them somewhere.
-----
Dear Mr. Downey,
What can I really say, I'm a fan. I'm not one of those creepy fans that wants to marry you, I'd be wholly content with meeting, and chatting for a day. I love your performances across the board in movies of varying acclaim. I haven't seen everything you've been in, but with what I have, I totally enjoyed your performances.
More than anything, as a fan, I really would just like a good conversation. To just see how you tick when it's not in the public eye. It's not what you were, but it's what you are. Who you are outside of the public eye intrigues me, I feel this way about many celebrities. Well, not many, but just sitting down and talking would be fantastic.
What I'm interested in knowing is what else you're interested in. The public knows of you as an actor and that you ave an interest in music. But what else is there? What types of movies do you like to see? What types of things do you read? It's the little things that make up everything that intrigues me the most. I am a 'why' type of person and am interested in knowing as much about what I'm interested in as possible. Any bit of information helps in creating more well rounded characters, stories.
'Here, check this out, a sketch of one of my characters.' That's what I'd say upon meeting you quite possibly at some point during the conversation.
To any type of point, I would quite simply like to meet and talk. A photo would be magnificent. But it's the truth. I am a fan, but like I said before not a creepy fan. I don't think it's that bad a thing to just meet and chat for a bit. It'd probably be fun. I might teach you something too. We'd both probably benefit somehow.
Points of praise:
Delivery, voice, facial expressions, physicality, emotion. Humor. Those are some of the things I really and truly love about your performances.
Another point is it's interesting with the parts you choose to perform how those hint at things about you. I feel that way about all actors. What you choose to do is an interesting reflection of self. You have taken on parts of damaged characters who are inherently good people. You have taken parts of the wild and of the human. You're wildly human, or maybe simply humanly wild and it works. The pain, the joy. Sometimes you seem to be more than an actor and you are the character, something that few can say they've accomplished.
I look forward to seeing what happens and where you go as you age. A new generation of actors is arriving and going through their own hells, just as everyone did ten, twenty years ago. But even with the youngster coming up, they still need their heroes, and audiences still need the older actors for inspiration and for those sorts of roles in film.
----
I got a bit sidetracked while writing this, but it's the over all truth. More to come. More to come.
Jasmine P.
-----
Dear Mr. Downey,
What can I really say, I'm a fan. I'm not one of those creepy fans that wants to marry you, I'd be wholly content with meeting, and chatting for a day. I love your performances across the board in movies of varying acclaim. I haven't seen everything you've been in, but with what I have, I totally enjoyed your performances.
More than anything, as a fan, I really would just like a good conversation. To just see how you tick when it's not in the public eye. It's not what you were, but it's what you are. Who you are outside of the public eye intrigues me, I feel this way about many celebrities. Well, not many, but just sitting down and talking would be fantastic.
What I'm interested in knowing is what else you're interested in. The public knows of you as an actor and that you ave an interest in music. But what else is there? What types of movies do you like to see? What types of things do you read? It's the little things that make up everything that intrigues me the most. I am a 'why' type of person and am interested in knowing as much about what I'm interested in as possible. Any bit of information helps in creating more well rounded characters, stories.
'Here, check this out, a sketch of one of my characters.' That's what I'd say upon meeting you quite possibly at some point during the conversation.
To any type of point, I would quite simply like to meet and talk. A photo would be magnificent. But it's the truth. I am a fan, but like I said before not a creepy fan. I don't think it's that bad a thing to just meet and chat for a bit. It'd probably be fun. I might teach you something too. We'd both probably benefit somehow.
Points of praise:
Delivery, voice, facial expressions, physicality, emotion. Humor. Those are some of the things I really and truly love about your performances.
Another point is it's interesting with the parts you choose to perform how those hint at things about you. I feel that way about all actors. What you choose to do is an interesting reflection of self. You have taken on parts of damaged characters who are inherently good people. You have taken parts of the wild and of the human. You're wildly human, or maybe simply humanly wild and it works. The pain, the joy. Sometimes you seem to be more than an actor and you are the character, something that few can say they've accomplished.
I look forward to seeing what happens and where you go as you age. A new generation of actors is arriving and going through their own hells, just as everyone did ten, twenty years ago. But even with the youngster coming up, they still need their heroes, and audiences still need the older actors for inspiration and for those sorts of roles in film.
----
I got a bit sidetracked while writing this, but it's the over all truth. More to come. More to come.
Jasmine P.
December 22, 2008
Behind Closed Doors
Last night I saw Milk, starring Sean Penn, Emile Hirch and Josh Brolin. It reminded me of things I knew but it introduced me to many things I hadn't ans it showed the severity of the hatred people have for others.
I know people have issues with homosexuality but I can't understand why? Why do the Christian Fundamentalists believe that they're trying to 'recruit' children to love those of the same sex? Because some men sexually abused children doesn't mean that all men want to. It did say that statically child abusers were heterosexual. I saw somewhere once that abuse is primarially a rift on power, for the man to feel as if he's in control.
But today I've read over Harvey Milk's life, I've read over the 'Save our Children' campaign and at the moment I can't read about John Briggs or his Initiation. It's painful and illogical. That amout of idiocy in the world, why? Why do people hate so much? Why do the they feel the need to shut down people who have done nothing wrong. Yes, I understand homosexualty is a sin, but when did humanity become God? Just because you believe wiht all your heart that it's right, but science or something can prove you're wrong, that doesn't mean you're right.
I truely don't know what I'm trying to say here, but if people are allowed to be discriminated on and they're banned from housing and work, what are they supposed to do with themselves? There's nothing wrong with their cognitive abiities but they can't have a home because they love their own gender. How does that hurt other people? People go to prison because they are a danger to the world around them, but how is homosexuality a danger to the surrounding world? Unless they're knowing transmitting diseases, they're not a danger.
I don't know if I truely want to understand what those type of people think. I don't think I want to understand why because I'm that much happier not knowing. My homosexual friends are fun and amazing to have. People are people before their sexuality. People eat, breath, live and want to pursue whatever their happiness is, so how does who they sleep next to fut into this?
Jasmine P.
I know people have issues with homosexuality but I can't understand why? Why do the Christian Fundamentalists believe that they're trying to 'recruit' children to love those of the same sex? Because some men sexually abused children doesn't mean that all men want to. It did say that statically child abusers were heterosexual. I saw somewhere once that abuse is primarially a rift on power, for the man to feel as if he's in control.
But today I've read over Harvey Milk's life, I've read over the 'Save our Children' campaign and at the moment I can't read about John Briggs or his Initiation. It's painful and illogical. That amout of idiocy in the world, why? Why do people hate so much? Why do the they feel the need to shut down people who have done nothing wrong. Yes, I understand homosexualty is a sin, but when did humanity become God? Just because you believe wiht all your heart that it's right, but science or something can prove you're wrong, that doesn't mean you're right.
I truely don't know what I'm trying to say here, but if people are allowed to be discriminated on and they're banned from housing and work, what are they supposed to do with themselves? There's nothing wrong with their cognitive abiities but they can't have a home because they love their own gender. How does that hurt other people? People go to prison because they are a danger to the world around them, but how is homosexuality a danger to the surrounding world? Unless they're knowing transmitting diseases, they're not a danger.
I don't know if I truely want to understand what those type of people think. I don't think I want to understand why because I'm that much happier not knowing. My homosexual friends are fun and amazing to have. People are people before their sexuality. People eat, breath, live and want to pursue whatever their happiness is, so how does who they sleep next to fut into this?
Jasmine P.
December 15, 2008
Do Unto Others As You Would Want Them To Do Unto You
I haven't properly written anything out in a while, more than a month really. Well, I think there's one or two things on LJ or Facebook but ehh, those two journals don't get the same treatment as over here does. Twitter gets the truth most often, the deepest parts of my soul in only 160 characters. Well, 140, but 160 in a text, but that's neither here nor there.
I've figured out and decided that I'm at a major cross roads in my life and I've been here for a while. How long I cann0t tell but things are different. some times I'm a lot happier than I've been in a while, other times I'm somewhat listless and my attention span has been nowhere serious for the past few days. I think it's partially a very mild depression but I'm still moving away from where i used to be. i mean, this time last year I was crazed and ready to get the hell out of dodge. And I think a very little mite suicidal. I assume I'm true about that last assumption. i don't like that thought one little bit, but it might be a small part of my truth about life.
Considering I've spent so much time alone I've had a lot to think about without other people getting in the way. Apparently Firefox can't spell check anymore. fucking whore. blargle ggj ...joy. Back to the point, my technological assistance is apparently temporarily out, maybe because this window's been open for a while, and now I just plain have an internet error, joy.
Back to my life. Now, there are two guys who are apparently vying for attention in my mind. One of them works at Borjo and I know I won't say a damned thing to him, and i think he's in a relationship anyway. Okay, this is annoying. Time to refresh the fucking window. There, it's fixed, but back to the point, once more. The other guy I've never said a word to, but he does intrigue me and I do want to say something. Mostly tell him his hat is bitching, but even that apparently sends me a twitter and makes me confused and like an annoying girl. Interacting wiht strangers is quite annoying and American society does not make it any easier. Great, it's crapped out once more. Fuck you ODU internet. Yeah, I wish this were more of a spur of the moment thing and not something I've been thinking about saying all semester. I'm a weird one. Chance are I'll say this, then it'll be another person on my 'hi-bye' roster of acquaintances. No big deal.
On to more stupidity that's been running through my head. I am currently obsessing of the TV show Psych. I think a rabid obsession has been missing from my life. I haven't really been focused on anything for a while and even with my faulty attention span from the past few days, I have been enjoying the show and the commentary and have tried to draw James Roday and Dule Hill. James is much more of a challenge, and he is now on my list of actors it would be bitching to meet. Well included in this list is the even awesome RDJ, Johnny Depp, and Morgan Freeman to remind myself of a few of the celebs I would love to meet. Hell, I would love to film an episode of Psych. 'Guest starring a random fan!' Bomb diggity.
I don't know where I'm going right now and I think that's why I had to spend some time alone, so I could get a proper handle on myself and what I need. I don't know how to fix me and getting a boyfriend is a bit of a pipe dream still. Pipe dream territory is never fun.
Now's not the time for my to do my big 'it's the end of the year' thing. I kind of did that for my birthday when I said 'i'm not dead yet' but maybe this time I'll wait until January and just have my big 'changing of the year' thing ring in the next year instead of shutting down the old one. God, this new mp3 player recharges is no time. From no batter to almost full in about 45min. Gold.
I'm sure this has accomplished something important to me, but I'm not sure of what it is quite yet. The point is to be theraputic and I'm not sure how useful this one was. Probably more than I realize at this moment, but it's not as useful as my last conversation with Alex. But nothingis near as useful as any of those, except for face-to-face interaction.
Jasmine P.
I've figured out and decided that I'm at a major cross roads in my life and I've been here for a while. How long I cann0t tell but things are different. some times I'm a lot happier than I've been in a while, other times I'm somewhat listless and my attention span has been nowhere serious for the past few days. I think it's partially a very mild depression but I'm still moving away from where i used to be. i mean, this time last year I was crazed and ready to get the hell out of dodge. And I think a very little mite suicidal. I assume I'm true about that last assumption. i don't like that thought one little bit, but it might be a small part of my truth about life.
Considering I've spent so much time alone I've had a lot to think about without other people getting in the way. Apparently Firefox can't spell check anymore. fucking whore. blargle ggj ...joy. Back to the point, my technological assistance is apparently temporarily out, maybe because this window's been open for a while, and now I just plain have an internet error, joy.
Back to my life. Now, there are two guys who are apparently vying for attention in my mind. One of them works at Borjo and I know I won't say a damned thing to him, and i think he's in a relationship anyway. Okay, this is annoying. Time to refresh the fucking window. There, it's fixed, but back to the point, once more. The other guy I've never said a word to, but he does intrigue me and I do want to say something. Mostly tell him his hat is bitching, but even that apparently sends me a twitter and makes me confused and like an annoying girl. Interacting wiht strangers is quite annoying and American society does not make it any easier. Great, it's crapped out once more. Fuck you ODU internet. Yeah, I wish this were more of a spur of the moment thing and not something I've been thinking about saying all semester. I'm a weird one. Chance are I'll say this, then it'll be another person on my 'hi-bye' roster of acquaintances. No big deal.
On to more stupidity that's been running through my head. I am currently obsessing of the TV show Psych. I think a rabid obsession has been missing from my life. I haven't really been focused on anything for a while and even with my faulty attention span from the past few days, I have been enjoying the show and the commentary and have tried to draw James Roday and Dule Hill. James is much more of a challenge, and he is now on my list of actors it would be bitching to meet. Well included in this list is the even awesome RDJ, Johnny Depp, and Morgan Freeman to remind myself of a few of the celebs I would love to meet. Hell, I would love to film an episode of Psych. 'Guest starring a random fan!' Bomb diggity.
I don't know where I'm going right now and I think that's why I had to spend some time alone, so I could get a proper handle on myself and what I need. I don't know how to fix me and getting a boyfriend is a bit of a pipe dream still. Pipe dream territory is never fun.
Now's not the time for my to do my big 'it's the end of the year' thing. I kind of did that for my birthday when I said 'i'm not dead yet' but maybe this time I'll wait until January and just have my big 'changing of the year' thing ring in the next year instead of shutting down the old one. God, this new mp3 player recharges is no time. From no batter to almost full in about 45min. Gold.
I'm sure this has accomplished something important to me, but I'm not sure of what it is quite yet. The point is to be theraputic and I'm not sure how useful this one was. Probably more than I realize at this moment, but it's not as useful as my last conversation with Alex. But nothingis near as useful as any of those, except for face-to-face interaction.
Jasmine P.
December 14, 2008
I haven't properly written anything out in a while, more than a month really. Well, I think there's one or two things on LJ or Facebook but ehh, those two journals don't get the same treatment as over here does. Twitter gets the truth most often, the deepest parts of my soul in only 160 characters. Well, 140, but 160 in a text, but that's neither here nor there.
I've figured out and decided that I'm at a major cross roads in my life and I've been here for a while. How long I cann0t tell but things are different. Sometimes I'm a lot happier than I've been in a while, other times I'm somewhat listless and my attentions pan has been nowhere serious for the past few days. I think it's partially a very mild depression but I'm still moving away from where i used to be. i mean, this time last year I was crazed and ready to get the hell out of dodge. And I think a very little mite suicidal. I assume I'm true about that last assumption. i don't like that thought one little bit, but it might be a small part of my truth about life.
Considering I've spent so much time alone I've had a lot to think about without other people getting in the way. Apparently firefox can't spell check anymore. fucking whore.
Jasmine P.
I've figured out and decided that I'm at a major cross roads in my life and I've been here for a while. How long I cann0t tell but things are different. Sometimes I'm a lot happier than I've been in a while, other times I'm somewhat listless and my attentions pan has been nowhere serious for the past few days. I think it's partially a very mild depression but I'm still moving away from where i used to be. i mean, this time last year I was crazed and ready to get the hell out of dodge. And I think a very little mite suicidal. I assume I'm true about that last assumption. i don't like that thought one little bit, but it might be a small part of my truth about life.
Considering I've spent so much time alone I've had a lot to think about without other people getting in the way. Apparently firefox can't spell check anymore. fucking whore.
Jasmine P.
November 10, 2008
Betrayal
Hmm, I wasn't coming here tonight to actually write anything, but now I have sometihng to write about.
Somebody I thought I could trust had broken it. I have been betrayed. Why? I don't know. I'm not really tentative about trusting people. I'm quite to trust, unless somebody seems unsavory, then I'll be more tentative. But this hurts. If I had known I had done something to slight her I would have apologized, but I feel incredibly unwelcome here and might try to move out before next semester.
I'll pay what I owe, but after than no more. Once I've been slighted I don't trust. Not fo a long time. This friendship was not the best and apparently it's had it's uses and I must be off onto better things and people to truly love me for me. People who take my side...
Forgetting all else. I stand alone. Like always, I am alone.
Jasmine P.
Somebody I thought I could trust had broken it. I have been betrayed. Why? I don't know. I'm not really tentative about trusting people. I'm quite to trust, unless somebody seems unsavory, then I'll be more tentative. But this hurts. If I had known I had done something to slight her I would have apologized, but I feel incredibly unwelcome here and might try to move out before next semester.
I'll pay what I owe, but after than no more. Once I've been slighted I don't trust. Not fo a long time. This friendship was not the best and apparently it's had it's uses and I must be off onto better things and people to truly love me for me. People who take my side...
Forgetting all else. I stand alone. Like always, I am alone.
Jasmine P.
October 18, 2008
Change
To fill in the blanks from the beginning, if for nothing, my terrible memory. On Monday, I decided to ask this guy out. His response is 'maybe' then we talk about other things. We happen to not see each other until Wednesday night, when he agrees to try going out with me. I'm happy, but things between us don't seem any different, in any way shape or form. This is what happens upon question him. [originally a letter to Za]
Nope, not what you were thinking. I brought up with the guy, the fact that things seem to be the same between us as before, and wondered why he said 'yes' to me after he asked me why I asked.
I said 'I feel really comfortable and I was wondering where things would go' blah blah blah, stuff I've told you before.
Upon asking him why he said 'yes' he said he wanted to try to open himself up to people more. I asked him if he could think of me as more than a friend, and he thinks 'no'. So we decided to break things off now.
I don't really feel sad, at the moment I'm sleepy, but it's fucking 1:30am and I've been up since 7. I felt a bit melancholy, but ehh, things will apparently be the same because after decided we'd stay friends, he asked me some art question and I answered.
I'll be fine, don't worry. I'll go back to ...well, I haven't really changed, so there's not much for me to go back to. I guess in my mind, or maybe I'll go back to not thinking about guys. This would have been easier if he'd just said 'no' before but ces't la vie.
In the grand scheme of relationships, I won't count this as anything because it's barely been 48hrs since the original conversation [which was 12 after practice on Wednesday]. I regret nothing, because nothing happened to regret. And I've learned something, an experience to put to use in some of my stories, so a win-nothing situation? I've also learned how I think I'll feel if I like someone else, but let's see how long it is until I feel this way again.
I assume he said 'yes' and talks to me the most because I'm patient with dealing with people [shut up, I am/can be!] and I kept trying to engage him. But that's who I am, a social being who focuses on what stands out somehow, with him, it was his silence. That, and he was always there.
Well, now I get to go back to pondering other guys and then wondering if it's something with me that scares guys away. Too aggressive of a personality or too masculine of an aura. It's not my fault, but it is my hindrance in life.
-To conclude, before actually saying anything I was thinking we feel more like friends than anything else, so it never seemed right to say anything. I think that's why I felt so unsure, there were friend vibes then from me, god to tell what. Now what to do until anther guy approaches me? I'm not big on changing who I am nor how I act, I'd rather not lie to some guy who thinks he has a chance with me, then I turn into my normal self, so fuck that.
Hell, I'm not even looking for marriage, I'm not looking for anything too serious, but I am looking for something that's meaningful and worth whatever time, energy and effort gets put into it. This had it's worth, but now I'm off to explore my psyche and figure out what I want, maybe a 'who' will respond.
Jasmine P.
Nope, not what you were thinking. I brought up with the guy, the fact that things seem to be the same between us as before, and wondered why he said 'yes' to me after he asked me why I asked.
I said 'I feel really comfortable and I was wondering where things would go' blah blah blah, stuff I've told you before.
Upon asking him why he said 'yes' he said he wanted to try to open himself up to people more. I asked him if he could think of me as more than a friend, and he thinks 'no'. So we decided to break things off now.
I don't really feel sad, at the moment I'm sleepy, but it's fucking 1:30am and I've been up since 7. I felt a bit melancholy, but ehh, things will apparently be the same because after decided we'd stay friends, he asked me some art question and I answered.
I'll be fine, don't worry. I'll go back to ...well, I haven't really changed, so there's not much for me to go back to. I guess in my mind, or maybe I'll go back to not thinking about guys. This would have been easier if he'd just said 'no' before but ces't la vie.
In the grand scheme of relationships, I won't count this as anything because it's barely been 48hrs since the original conversation [which was 12 after practice on Wednesday]. I regret nothing, because nothing happened to regret. And I've learned something, an experience to put to use in some of my stories, so a win-nothing situation? I've also learned how I think I'll feel if I like someone else, but let's see how long it is until I feel this way again.
I assume he said 'yes' and talks to me the most because I'm patient with dealing with people [shut up, I am/can be!] and I kept trying to engage him. But that's who I am, a social being who focuses on what stands out somehow, with him, it was his silence. That, and he was always there.
Well, now I get to go back to pondering other guys and then wondering if it's something with me that scares guys away. Too aggressive of a personality or too masculine of an aura. It's not my fault, but it is my hindrance in life.
-To conclude, before actually saying anything I was thinking we feel more like friends than anything else, so it never seemed right to say anything. I think that's why I felt so unsure, there were friend vibes then from me, god to tell what. Now what to do until anther guy approaches me? I'm not big on changing who I am nor how I act, I'd rather not lie to some guy who thinks he has a chance with me, then I turn into my normal self, so fuck that.
Hell, I'm not even looking for marriage, I'm not looking for anything too serious, but I am looking for something that's meaningful and worth whatever time, energy and effort gets put into it. This had it's worth, but now I'm off to explore my psyche and figure out what I want, maybe a 'who' will respond.
Jasmine P.
October 5, 2008
Sitting, Waiting, Wishing
This reminds me of what I wrote up here last year, looking for love, finding one and not going ahead with anything. [[throwback]] But based off of certain circumstances, instances, rather, this might be more successful if anything is said. Maybe I should practice saying something, in my head as least. I kind of like skipping the whole confession part of everything and image being in a relationship.
Things of interest, he does seem to hyper-focus on me sometimes when we're together or with other people. In a weird way I do the exact opposite, avoid eye-contact and what not because then I start thinking stupid things or focusing too much until I'm too nervous to act normal.
Jack Johnson is the best and worst thing at the moment.
I don't want to be the one to start things, but I also don't want to be in this awkward limbo anymore. I'd love ANY little sign that this is requited love and not unrequited.
I need to write about something other than my lack there of of a relationship with this person. Fuck all! Heh, for as outgoing as I normally am I can't just take control of this. I need to stop protecting me and go out on a limb for once, it would do me a hell of a lot of good if I did. Is is so hard to want any little obvious sign. The most obvious I can notice is how often we hang out, but that doens't count for anything. Unless something happens, we'll fall into the friendship rut and nothig will change.ell, i damn near want Za to push me into him ro something retarded. That would be better than fuck near nothing. I know things aren't like movies, but sometimes I want the ease or confidance of getting into a relationship that people seem to always have in movies.
Hopefully I'll have something more substantial to write here soon. I'm tired of re-writingt he same things, but sadly these same things are on my mind all the time.
Jasmine P.
Things of interest, he does seem to hyper-focus on me sometimes when we're together or with other people. In a weird way I do the exact opposite, avoid eye-contact and what not because then I start thinking stupid things or focusing too much until I'm too nervous to act normal.
Jack Johnson is the best and worst thing at the moment.
I don't want to be the one to start things, but I also don't want to be in this awkward limbo anymore. I'd love ANY little sign that this is requited love and not unrequited.
I need to write about something other than my lack there of of a relationship with this person. Fuck all! Heh, for as outgoing as I normally am I can't just take control of this. I need to stop protecting me and go out on a limb for once, it would do me a hell of a lot of good if I did. Is is so hard to want any little obvious sign. The most obvious I can notice is how often we hang out, but that doens't count for anything. Unless something happens, we'll fall into the friendship rut and nothig will change.ell, i damn near want Za to push me into him ro something retarded. That would be better than fuck near nothing. I know things aren't like movies, but sometimes I want the ease or confidance of getting into a relationship that people seem to always have in movies.
Hopefully I'll have something more substantial to write here soon. I'm tired of re-writingt he same things, but sadly these same things are on my mind all the time.
Jasmine P.
September 23, 2008
Social Study
Its interesting to see how people interact, but it's even more to try to observe oneself on the objective in a very subjective situation. It's also interesting to analyze how I act and to try to figure out why.
A few of the whys: I'm horny, I'm getting depressed, I am just plain lonely.
Now that we have a few possible answers, let's get to the meat of the situation. I'm trying to figure out how a guy I know feels about me, but I'm not sure if this is just me pushing my feelings onto him, or if there is something behind how I'm thinking. I could just be horny, my period is right around the corner and I do get needy and horny right before it so that could be it. Or I could be feeling something for him and that's what I'm unsure of. Two things I noticed today was we got into a bit of a poking war while playing Rock Band, but it didn't just tickle when he poked my side, it was pleasurable. Then there was a time a bit later when we were done fencing and we shook hands, a pleasant feeling ran through my hand.
These are feelings I normally associate with a crush, but this is potentially mutual, so I don't want to just write it off. Another thing is though, last year I said I'd date no fencers, and I met him through fencing. But at the same time, I've not been in a relationship for...well, ever, so I might say 'yes' if he says something just so I can feel loved and feel special and everything that is involved with being in a real relationship with someone. I guess that's what I want, but I don't know if he's who I want.
There's another guy who's always nice and fun to talk to, but he's someone I never see. Well, it's rare, then we don't usually have the chance to talk about much. He might just be nice to all the girls, which would be fine and saddening at the same time. But between these two guys, Guy 2 has props for being both older than me and not a fencer, but Guy 1 has a much closer proximity and we have been hanging out a lot.
That might also be the inspiration for false feelings, close social interaction.
So, like I said, Social Study. A study of me socially. I want some answers soon, hell, I want one of them to say something so I'd actually have something to think about and something to get advice on. I would finally need advice, and it would be fine with me.
Time shall tell.
Jasmine P.
A few of the whys: I'm horny, I'm getting depressed, I am just plain lonely.
Now that we have a few possible answers, let's get to the meat of the situation. I'm trying to figure out how a guy I know feels about me, but I'm not sure if this is just me pushing my feelings onto him, or if there is something behind how I'm thinking. I could just be horny, my period is right around the corner and I do get needy and horny right before it so that could be it. Or I could be feeling something for him and that's what I'm unsure of. Two things I noticed today was we got into a bit of a poking war while playing Rock Band, but it didn't just tickle when he poked my side, it was pleasurable. Then there was a time a bit later when we were done fencing and we shook hands, a pleasant feeling ran through my hand.
These are feelings I normally associate with a crush, but this is potentially mutual, so I don't want to just write it off. Another thing is though, last year I said I'd date no fencers, and I met him through fencing. But at the same time, I've not been in a relationship for...well, ever, so I might say 'yes' if he says something just so I can feel loved and feel special and everything that is involved with being in a real relationship with someone. I guess that's what I want, but I don't know if he's who I want.
There's another guy who's always nice and fun to talk to, but he's someone I never see. Well, it's rare, then we don't usually have the chance to talk about much. He might just be nice to all the girls, which would be fine and saddening at the same time. But between these two guys, Guy 2 has props for being both older than me and not a fencer, but Guy 1 has a much closer proximity and we have been hanging out a lot.
That might also be the inspiration for false feelings, close social interaction.
So, like I said, Social Study. A study of me socially. I want some answers soon, hell, I want one of them to say something so I'd actually have something to think about and something to get advice on. I would finally need advice, and it would be fine with me.
Time shall tell.
Jasmine P.
September 14, 2008
Saturday
So, yesterday Za and I left campus so I could get my car inspected at this place that Glenn suggested and that's how we decided on an excuse for an adventure and lunch, then during lunch we decided to make this a monthly thing. But let's travel to yesterday morning.
She comes over and I make us breakfast because...I wanted bacon and I figured I could get rid of those last few eggs I had since they were really just going to sit there until I had another chance to cook them for someone else. Seriously. So we watch Psych then roll out onto Portsmouth and realize that the shop is closed on Saturdays. When backing out of the parking lot, I break my bumper by hitting a piece of scrap metal but it looks like the only thing that needs to be replaced is the bumper which makes things that much better, even thought they really aren't. So we're both a bit shaken up, Za more then myself, and we decide to explore down 64. We drive out to Pembroke Town Center then decide to more or less never go out there because it's too expensive to buy anything.
We're both hungry...again...and we're both jonesing for salad and decide to hit up the Unos on Military, so we get there and after driving through the parking lot a bit to actually get to the restaurant we have the best experience there, overall. Two dirty spoons were not enough to mar our day. We chat about our usual bull and wabout what had happened that day so far. But the experience at the restaurant has more or less made me forget about the bumper, thant and I think my escapist habits of not thinking about things that are bad so I can regain control of a situation and myself.
The experience is so nice because the restaurant is on the empty, it's between the lunch and dinner rush so it would be. I assume out waitress had just starter her shift so she's in moderately high spirits and we're polite, we've no reason not to be. But the thing is everyone's nice. A manager opens the door for us then when we're on our way out every employee tells us to have a good evening and another waiter holds the door open on our way out. We were floored, this was seriously my best experience at an Unos, and I've been to a few, though they were usually the same restaurant over and over again.
On the way back, still riding the good vibes we decide to go to the Naro rental and pick up Ghostbusters 1&2. On the way I start singing, partially to Za, mostly because it's fun. Driving down Hampton I'm making parodies of what we're listening to, and Za's amusement only encouraged me. One of them was to Junior Senior's Move Your Feet because I was in no mood to sit in traffic. So I was talking about wanting to speed, but it was silly, and she kept laughing so I made up one about Paula Deen killing everyone with butter.
Back in the apartment we watch Ghostbusters before CR calls inviting us over to watch The Sword in the Stone and Teeth. Teeth is fucking amazing, it's about this pure virginal girl who was born with vagina dentata, teeth in her vagina. But the problem is I'm in a goofy mood and none of us are taking anything seriously so we're making fun of this movie. The crabs were the best part. Mario Kart Wii is our next activity followed by my general makng fun of the staples of video games, then we're spicifically talking about Zelda.
Saturday started off slow, but ended up being awesome! And I'm making dinner tonight, so I need to get to the store and buy me some chicken soon...
Jasmine P.
She comes over and I make us breakfast because...I wanted bacon and I figured I could get rid of those last few eggs I had since they were really just going to sit there until I had another chance to cook them for someone else. Seriously. So we watch Psych then roll out onto Portsmouth and realize that the shop is closed on Saturdays. When backing out of the parking lot, I break my bumper by hitting a piece of scrap metal but it looks like the only thing that needs to be replaced is the bumper which makes things that much better, even thought they really aren't. So we're both a bit shaken up, Za more then myself, and we decide to explore down 64. We drive out to Pembroke Town Center then decide to more or less never go out there because it's too expensive to buy anything.
We're both hungry...again...and we're both jonesing for salad and decide to hit up the Unos on Military, so we get there and after driving through the parking lot a bit to actually get to the restaurant we have the best experience there, overall. Two dirty spoons were not enough to mar our day. We chat about our usual bull and wabout what had happened that day so far. But the experience at the restaurant has more or less made me forget about the bumper, thant and I think my escapist habits of not thinking about things that are bad so I can regain control of a situation and myself.
The experience is so nice because the restaurant is on the empty, it's between the lunch and dinner rush so it would be. I assume out waitress had just starter her shift so she's in moderately high spirits and we're polite, we've no reason not to be. But the thing is everyone's nice. A manager opens the door for us then when we're on our way out every employee tells us to have a good evening and another waiter holds the door open on our way out. We were floored, this was seriously my best experience at an Unos, and I've been to a few, though they were usually the same restaurant over and over again.
On the way back, still riding the good vibes we decide to go to the Naro rental and pick up Ghostbusters 1&2. On the way I start singing, partially to Za, mostly because it's fun. Driving down Hampton I'm making parodies of what we're listening to, and Za's amusement only encouraged me. One of them was to Junior Senior's Move Your Feet because I was in no mood to sit in traffic. So I was talking about wanting to speed, but it was silly, and she kept laughing so I made up one about Paula Deen killing everyone with butter.
Back in the apartment we watch Ghostbusters before CR calls inviting us over to watch The Sword in the Stone and Teeth. Teeth is fucking amazing, it's about this pure virginal girl who was born with vagina dentata, teeth in her vagina. But the problem is I'm in a goofy mood and none of us are taking anything seriously so we're making fun of this movie. The crabs were the best part. Mario Kart Wii is our next activity followed by my general makng fun of the staples of video games, then we're spicifically talking about Zelda.
Saturday started off slow, but ended up being awesome! And I'm making dinner tonight, so I need to get to the store and buy me some chicken soon...
Jasmine P.
Me and Religion
This was written around midnight, so ten hours ago.
After looking at my friend's note and some of the comments, most of us commentators decided to avoided his God issue. That made me think about my relationship with religion.
I say I believe in the bible and God and am Christian. It's how I was raised and it's something I decided to accept and not question. It's something I still don't really question and I have my stances on aspects of religion and my relationship with it, but then I wonder, am I truly a spiritually driven person. No, not really. I curse, drink, talk about more than abstinence even though I practice it, but I don't have biblical reasons, more logical reasons.
I'm 'abstinent' because I've had no real reason to not be. No boyfriend and I'm not going to get laid just because everyone else it. I am so reverse peer-pressure sometimes it's ridiculous.
I like some alcohol, but at the same time i'm not trying to straight up kill my liver so. :shrug: I find profanity to just be words to express anger so they have no special meaning. At the same time, I'm not trying to teach my sister how to curse, so I don't curse around her.
As for me and religion. I don't like to argue the topic with people and then I wonder how often I seek God for things and I really don't. I don't know if I exactly believe in a God, but I do accept that there is something greater than humanity out there and that things happen for a reason. I can never guess as to what the reasons may be, but I figure there's something keeping me alive my keeping me out of certain situations. At the same time, I don't go to church and I pray when I think I should, like when I'm in trouble. I figured I'd go back to church on the regular once I was done with college, but at the same time I don't know why I'd be going. Because I wanted to be in church, or because I would feel like it's what others would be wanting for me.
If I think about it, I really don't know how I feel about my interaction with religion. I don't have much conviction for things I do nor why. Why I help others without thinking about it. Why I don't help others. I just accept my first reaction for life and try not to question my motives, but at the same time I do wonder 'why' and I wonder if I'm doing the right things in my life. I try to just life and be a god person by my own moral standards, but then when do I need religion to judge me.
Religion condemns the profane, the charlatan, the scientist. I accept each for the fact they are people first. I may disagree with them, but I let others keep their own opinions because I figure they're just as entitled to their own beliefs and opinions as I am of my own.
I guess I might have just been trying to get to the conclusion that I think there's something out there, greater than humanity so I don't need other people to sell me that idea, or try to prove it to me. I just need people to accept me for me and try not to label my motives.
Or I needed to try to figure out how religion fits into my life and still have no answers.
And a commented response to continue:
Christian values were instilled in me, but it was still my mom took me to church more so than i went to church. I'm also not that pressed. I can open a bible and interpret it myself if i need guidance, or I go to different people seeking advice and figure out which makes the most sense.
I know and accept I do biblically wrong things, but I'm also only trying to make the best of it with what I have, and I figure that's the best any person can strive for.
But that's also following the belief that there's a heaven. The scientist in me desires proof, so I figure I try not to be too bad of a person for general purposes [gp] and it keeps me happier. I still don't know exactly what I was looking for with this rant.
Jasmine P.
After looking at my friend's note and some of the comments, most of us commentators decided to avoided his God issue. That made me think about my relationship with religion.
I say I believe in the bible and God and am Christian. It's how I was raised and it's something I decided to accept and not question. It's something I still don't really question and I have my stances on aspects of religion and my relationship with it, but then I wonder, am I truly a spiritually driven person. No, not really. I curse, drink, talk about more than abstinence even though I practice it, but I don't have biblical reasons, more logical reasons.
I'm 'abstinent' because I've had no real reason to not be. No boyfriend and I'm not going to get laid just because everyone else it. I am so reverse peer-pressure sometimes it's ridiculous.
I like some alcohol, but at the same time i'm not trying to straight up kill my liver so. :shrug: I find profanity to just be words to express anger so they have no special meaning. At the same time, I'm not trying to teach my sister how to curse, so I don't curse around her.
As for me and religion. I don't like to argue the topic with people and then I wonder how often I seek God for things and I really don't. I don't know if I exactly believe in a God, but I do accept that there is something greater than humanity out there and that things happen for a reason. I can never guess as to what the reasons may be, but I figure there's something keeping me alive my keeping me out of certain situations. At the same time, I don't go to church and I pray when I think I should, like when I'm in trouble. I figured I'd go back to church on the regular once I was done with college, but at the same time I don't know why I'd be going. Because I wanted to be in church, or because I would feel like it's what others would be wanting for me.
If I think about it, I really don't know how I feel about my interaction with religion. I don't have much conviction for things I do nor why. Why I help others without thinking about it. Why I don't help others. I just accept my first reaction for life and try not to question my motives, but at the same time I do wonder 'why' and I wonder if I'm doing the right things in my life. I try to just life and be a god person by my own moral standards, but then when do I need religion to judge me.
Religion condemns the profane, the charlatan, the scientist. I accept each for the fact they are people first. I may disagree with them, but I let others keep their own opinions because I figure they're just as entitled to their own beliefs and opinions as I am of my own.
I guess I might have just been trying to get to the conclusion that I think there's something out there, greater than humanity so I don't need other people to sell me that idea, or try to prove it to me. I just need people to accept me for me and try not to label my motives.
Or I needed to try to figure out how religion fits into my life and still have no answers.
And a commented response to continue:
Christian values were instilled in me, but it was still my mom took me to church more so than i went to church. I'm also not that pressed. I can open a bible and interpret it myself if i need guidance, or I go to different people seeking advice and figure out which makes the most sense.
I know and accept I do biblically wrong things, but I'm also only trying to make the best of it with what I have, and I figure that's the best any person can strive for.
But that's also following the belief that there's a heaven. The scientist in me desires proof, so I figure I try not to be too bad of a person for general purposes [gp] and it keeps me happier. I still don't know exactly what I was looking for with this rant.
Jasmine P.
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